She's Not Afraid

Two days.

They were the worst. Luckily, I was busy, work was crazy and the semester was getting hectic but not hearing from James was unusual.

"Maybe he's close to joining the Pens again? I don't know. I'm sure he'll call you." Jessie was remaining positive but my hopes were falling quick.

"Yeah, well, life goes on, eh?" I sat at in the corridor of the School of Health & Rehab, waiting for my interview with the head of the sports medicine program. "Damn, he's even got me talking like a Canadian!" Jessie started laughing.

Not only was I worried about what I did wrong with James, but also there were intense butterflies in my stomach waiting for this interview. I was heading into my last year of undergrad work and I wanted to obtain a Master’s in sports medicine but I wasn't sure how intense the program would be and I wanted to get a head start on the application process.

"Hey, well, just breathe and we'll talk more about it after your interview okay? Local sound good?"

"Yeah. I'll see you in a bit." I sighed.

"Good luck, C. If anyone can do it, you can!"

Jessie's end went silent and I waited patiently until head of faculty called my name.

"Celeste Hartley?" I stood up, nodding my head in response. "Nice to meet you, finally. I've heard so much about you. I'm Chad Reid, head of the faculty here at SHRS not to mention, a total hottie. "Lets get this interview started, eh?"

He's Canadian. Just my luck.

***

"So you still haven't called her? Fuck Neal, you always do this." Pauly shoved a forkful of eggs in his mouth.

"Yeah, yeah."

"Seriously. She's a babe. And she obviously had you wrung tight these past few weeks. She finally gave in a fucked you and now you won't call her back? Typical James Neal."

I downed my glass of OJ; it was extra pulpy, just like I hate it.

"Well, Pauly, I'll see you at the rink. Thanks for the talk."

If someone asked me why I never called Celeste back, I'd have no answer. In fact, I'd probably avoid the entire conversation because in reality, I didn't want to face the truth.

Past relationships haven't been the most successful and when I think I find the next girl who can deal with my lifestyle, it blows up in my face. I discover the real reasons why she's with me or that I only liked her because she was a babe. Never would I have imagined that there could be a girl who didn't put up with my shit and wasn't afraid to challenge me.

That girl is out there.

I just need to call her back.

***

"So Celeste, we've reviewed your application and your grades and we think you'd be a great candidate for the graduate program. It won't be easy, and your social life will suffer but with your B.A. in Athletic Training, having a Master's in Sports Medicine will take your career dreams to the next level."

My heart was pounding. This was the moment I've been waiting for my entire life. I love doing what I do and learning all these sports practices and earning that Master's will like he said, take me to the next level.

I'll be respected in a field full of asshole men who think they know everything about sports and the injuries that come along with it.

I'm ready to prove them wrong, my dad especially.

Women can succeed in a men's world.

"I would love nothing more than to be in this program. I love this field and like you said, I'm excited to take my work to bigger and better things." I took a deep breath as Chad started at me.

"Well, I'd like to offer you a spot in the program if you are interested. We think you'd make great progress in doing so. We are aware by accepting you this early, we are taking a risk but it is a risk we all have agreed to follow thru on considering the great expectations you've achieved."

I exhaled, a smile creeping on my face. I could feel my eyes start to swell as I listened to Chad talk.

"I won't let any of you down. Thank you!" I stood up to shake his hand when in reality; I wanted to hug him to death from excitement.

***

"This is to you! You future Master's degree lady!" Jessie raised her shot glass, the bartender laughing at her enthusiasm.

"Ah thank you! I can't wait for hockey tonight, the boys are gonna flip!" I sipped my beer, aware that there were a group of girls staring at me from the far corner of the bar. Jessie noticed too.

"You go on one date with a Penguin and suddenly everyone knows you. Stupid bitches." I laughed nervously.

"Maybe you should call him?"

"Don't wanna be one of those girls, Jess. If he calls, he calls. If not, that's life." I threw back my beer, slamming the pint glass hard on the bar. "I should head home, afternoon game today. I'll see you after?"

Jess smiled.

***

I arrived at the arena, many of the boys already here.

"There she is. Hola Celeste, how you doin?" Tyler was taping a few spare sticks.

"Watchin too many Friends episodes, lately? Can you grab Rob and head to my office? Please and fuck you." I winked at him.

I settled at my desk, staring at the picture of the current roster next to my computer.

Knock, knock.

"Come in."

Tyler and Rob entered, both dressed in their training gear, an hour before the game and they're not even suited up. These are my assistants.

"So what's up?" Tyler said, sitting directly across from me.

"Changin the lineup tonight? I think Jones deserves to be moved to the second line." Rob chimed in.

"Nah, lineup is solid for tonight. I have other news." The guys looked at one another before looking at me.

"So I can't be all public about it yet because it's too early to announce, but I got accepted to the graduate program at Pitt. For Sports Medicine." The guys were staring at me blankly.

"That means, this is my last season. As head coach. There's no way I can coach given my schedule will be crazy. Or as I should say, crazier."

It broke my heart to even be saying this out loud. Especially at the beginning of the season but it had to be done; no matter how hard it hurt.

"Wow. Wasn't expecting that but hey! Congrats!" Rob stood up, leaping to the other side of my desk, wrapping his arms around me.

"Ahh, I knew you had it in ya. Celeste, you're going to do amazing things." Tyler patted me on the head. These guys were like my older brothers; I could always count on them because I knew they always had my back.

After all, that's why I made these two weirdos my assistant coaches.

"I want one of you to take my spot. Seems only right but we'll worry about that as the season closes in a couple months. Until then, lets enjoy the ride, eh?"

***

"And here is your Pittsburgh Predatorrrrs!!!!"

Surprisingly, there was a good turnout for a bantam hockey game - usually the minor U16 and U18 teams get this kind of turnout. Mostly parents, but there was definitely some new faces.

Coaching was always something I loved. Here I am, coaching a bunch of 15 year olds, many of which have dreams just as big as mine.

Petey Jones, he might be the next Sidney Crosby.

Kit Tracker could be the new Patrick Roy, sans anger issues.

Then theres, Sid Collins, this kid couldn't skate very well but in the past year, he's one of our best skaters.

All of these kids have shaped me to the person I am at this very moment. Maybe one day, they'll thank me for pushing them during practice and making them do suicides after every loss.

One day, one of these guys is going to hoist the cup and I'll be there watching, following their every move in their career. Whether it's hockey or not.

That's because hockey players have fire in their hearts and ice in their veins. They can do anything.

***

"She's a coach? Wow." Kuni stretched his legs out. "She pulls off the hot hockey coach look too."

Celeste looked like a natural. Everyone felt her presence on the ice; I can only imagine how good this girl was back in the day.

"She played hockey too. Almost made the national team, I guess." My eyes were glued to her every move, I heard her every yell. I could almost smell her perfume, the one she wore on our first date. Or taste her lips. She was the walking epitome of the not-so-perfect girl I ever dreamt of.

"Yeah, have you ever googled her? There's a ton of pictures, and her stats.... wow. Why did she ever stop playing?! Man, she even played professional soccer! If I wasn't already married.... man."

I elbowed Kuni in the side, scoffing at his insatiable lust.

"She didn't want to play because of money. I guess, she'd rather love a sport than get paid into eventually despising the sport. Something like that..."

Kuni nodded his head as if he could see her point.

The final buzzer sounded and everyone around was on his or her feet. The Predators won their season home opener 4-1 and it turned out to be an awesome game.

I saw Celeste scramble out into the locker rooms after shaking the opponent coach's hand.

"Comin Neal?" Kuni rattled his car keys in my face.

"Think I'm going to wait for Celeste. I need to talk to her."

"Good luck. See you at the gym tomorrow?" I nodded.

I stood outside the employee and player entrance hoping that I could find Celeste before she found me. A few Predators came over to talk to me, I signed some of their gear as a good luck charm and took a few pictures.

Another day in the life.

"Coach C! Look who watched us play tonight!"

Just then the door opened and I saw Celeste. Man, she was beautiful. She was dressed more casual, jeans and a blouse versus the pantsuit she wore behind the bench.

"Hey." That was all I could muster.

Celeste patted the kid on the back. "Hey buddy, get your autograph?" He nodded. "I'll see you at practice tomorrow, okay? James Neal and I have to discuss some things."

James Neal. I'm back to being James Neal again.

The kid ran off, following the others. Then it was just Celeste and I.

"Hey." I said again.

"You never called." Her voice was one dimensional, showing no emotion.

"I, uh. Well...I'm sorry. Really, I am." I went to grab her hand but she folded her arms across her chest before I could.

"I have to go. Bye." She started walking to her car and I followed behind her. The cargo popped open and she put her bags in the back, slamming the hatch with force.

"Celeste, can we talk?" I followed her around to the driver's side door.

"You know what? You're really good at doing what you do. Playing girls just like you do hockey. I told myself I wouldn't play your games but somehow, I fell into your trap and you know what? I was just another pussy for you to fuck. I'm better than that, so if you'd excuse me, I have to celebrate a win and getting into graduate school."

She sat in the driver's seat, the window rolling down all the way.

"You got accepted to graduate school? That's amazing, Celeste! Can I celebrate with you?"

Her eyes met mine; only hers was full of hatred.

"No dicks allowed. Sorry." The last word was said with sarcasm.

Whatever I did, it pissed her off.

Whatever I did, I need to fix.

Because unlike other girls, she's not afraid to reject me. She'll do it over and over again with no hesitation until I fix my own stupidity.

Lesson 1: Stop being a dick.