The X-Kid Army

Billie was bored. Not the kind of bored you get when you have something to do and you're just waiting around, the kind of bored you get when you don't think you're going to do anything ever again. Life in the sewer was boring. Tre and Mike were arguing again and making a lot of fucking noise. Mike had taken the last pack of Oreos, and was eating them while comfortably situated on the pipes out of Tre's reach.

"Mike! Gimme those!" Tre yelled, as he scrambled around beneath him. "That's not fair, you're the only one who's tall enough to reach the pipes!"

"Sucks for you now, doesn't it?" Mike said, nonchalantly while popping another Oreo in his mouth.

"Don't even tell me that was the last one..." Tre growled.

"Okay, I won't." Mike said, and tossed the empty package down.

"I'm gonna kill you! C'mere you motherfucker!" Tre yelled, while desperately trying to grab at Mike's dangling legs. Mike laughed and swung them casually, just out of Tre's reach. Billie had had enough of this nonsense.

"Shut up, you two!" He yelled, as he walked over to them. "It's bad enough that we've been holed up in a sewer for two months, hiding from the fucking Secret Police that now run New York, you don't need to fight about Oreos!" Tre looked horrified.

"But Billie, it was the last one." He said.

"Who gives a shit?!" Billie said, bewildered that something as trivial as cookies could cause such a loud argument. "You guys are unbelievably loud."

"So what? We're fifty feet beneath civilization!" Tre said.

"Yeah, but your voices carry down here. And besides," said Billie, looking up towards the sewer grate, "you never know who could be listening."