A Heart Full of Emptiness

I had arrived at Sergio's house that he shared with Pilar. I sprinted to the door, wanting to get out of the storm as soon as possible. The door creaked open as Pilar was in the door way. As soon as she noticed that it was me, she ushered me into the house. "Sweetie, what are you doing here?" She asked softly, seating me beside her on the sofa. I must have looked like such a state, I knew that my cheeks would have a watery black smudge on them from my mascara. I looked up at Pilar for the first time as she saw that I'd been crying... a lot.
"I broke up with Cris." I confessed as I flung myself into Pilar's loving arms. Pilar cradled me like a baby, soothing me gently.
"I'm so sorry Tash, what happened to you two? I know that it's been tough... I just never saw this coming." Pilar gently asked. I bit my lip, wanting to hide the truth from the rest of the world, I know that Cris wouldn't want anyone finding out; so I decided screw him, I'll tell her everything... I opened my mouth to speak, but fell short of the words, feeling pathetic about what had happened, so I decided to twist the story slightly.
"We drew too far apart, when I went on holiday I realized that I wasn't in-love with him anymore so I decided that it was better that we ended it now, before either one of us got hurt." I replied, it was a bit of a lie... A white lie, but for now Pilar had believed it, that was all that mattered. I'd tell her the truth when I was over Cristiano, but until then I will hide behind a lie.

I woke up the following morning with Pilar grabbing my arm and shaking it up and down. I cracked open an eye to look at the time, and sighed when it read '8:07'. "Pilar, It's 8 o'clock, what do you want?" I asked Pilar, my voice being croaky from the sleep that churning in its chords.
"I need my best friend to wake up so that I can take her shopping for a party dress for a party later." Pilar replied as I heard the excitement in her voice raise. I sighed and rubbed the sleep from my eyes. I really didn't want to have to wear a smile to everyone. I hate parties, everything about them is stupid, they're either the formal type, that I went to with Cris, where I'd have to wear a smile and talk about boring business crap. Or it was the house/ club party type where everyone gets drunk and throws up everywhere. I don't drink, so I'm painfully sober in a room that reeks of puke.
"Do I have to go?" I asked knowing that I would have to. Pilar rolled her eyes at me, as she left the room for me to get changed. I yawned deeply and forced myself off of the bed, I was lucky to have Pilar to stop me from lying in bed all day, wanting Cris... That's how I spent my last break up...

I had spent pretty much the entire morning and afternoon shopping with Pilar. I had a Blue Textured Bustier Skater Dress, a black leather jacket paired with a pair of black bover boots. I was getting ready upstairs, doing my make-up and doing my hair, straight and long. I turned from the mirror and saw Pilar staring at me with tears in her eyes, she got all emotional so easily that it was actually quite funny. "I'm sorry, you just look so pretty!" Pilar commented as I posed in my dress. She walked towards me and embraced me in a hug, we were so close that we were pretty much sisters, I'm not even kidding. Pilar pulled away from me as she led me downstairs to where the rest of the guests were. I could hear the music booming loudly, and the first thing that I could see were a load of people, with the stench of alcohol already filling my nostrils. I followed Pilar who was making her way to Sergio who was currently chatting to Iker. I smiled weakly at Sergio and Iker as I hugged them softly. "Where's Sara?" I asked Iker, who looked to be missing his girlfriend. Sara and I were also close, however Cris didn't really like her so I couldn't see her as much as I would have liked to.
"She's got a fever, but forced me to turn up anyway." Iker replied, having to raise his level of voice over the loud music. I smiled at Iker apologetically as my eyes scanned the crowd for anyone that I might know, that's when I met his gaze. Cris was staring lustfully in my direction, I quickly moved my eyes from his, as they then swiftly settled on the girl sitting on his lap. Irina. I felt a fire set off in my heart at the sight of the 'happy couple', as I stormed out of the room. I looked back at Cris who was pointing in my direction and laughing, along with Irina, Karim Benzema and Mesut Ozil, however Mesut wasn't laughing, he was just sitting there staring at me sympathetically.

As soon as I was out of the room I stood in the hall way, all by myself. Tears began to roll down my cheeks, which I didn't think was possible, after the amount that I had cried yesterday. I was so frustrated and for many, many reasons. One of them being the fact that I'd being succeeding in holding myself together, but as soon as I had seen Cris I broke. Surely that's not possible, you can't break a heart when it's already broken. No, you can't, you just cut the gap wider, making it harder for you to climb out of the whole of darkness. Because once a heart brakes it has the potential to splinter for miles and miles. I turned around when Pilar called my name. "Why is that man here?" I spat bitterly, not wanting to say his name. Pilar looked at me confused, before she inquired.
"Sergio's friend's with him, we invited him because we thought that you left on good terms." I looked at Pilar trying to bury any emotion. Screw it, if Cris can tell of his mates about what an ass he has been to me and laugh about it, then why can't I? 'Because you love him' I heard the back of my mind tell me. I was so angry that I loved him, I wanted him out of my system, and telling the truth is the first step.
"Cris cheated on me. When he found out about my miscarriage he started screwing Irina. He then left Manchester, to live closer to her. I found out yesterday, that's why we broke up." I explained and watched Pilar gap in shock. Suddenly everything became blurry as my eyes clouded up with tears.
"I'm sorry, if I had have known then he most certainly wouldn't be here. But I can't get him to leave, that would just cause a scene." Pilar answered as I shook my head. I couldn't leave either, that would just raise questions in everyone's minds.
"I know, I'll try to keep my distance from him, and not cause a scene." I replied, knowing that I probably would make a scene, but I would try my best not to. Pilar cut me a sympathetic smile as she left me alone to tidy up my make-up.

It had taken me about 15 minutes to re-do my make-up, but my face looked perfect, without a trace of my tears. I walked back down the stairs as my eyes met Pilar's. I walked towards her as someone pulled me into another group of people, of course Ronaldo had pushed into his little 'group convo' with Irina, Mesut and Karim. This would be awkward. "Hey, fancy seeing you here." Cris started clearly drunk as he fell back onto the sofa. Irina sat next to him and began kissing down his neck, as Cris smiled bitterly at me. I rolled my eyes at the 'happy couple' feeling sick to my inner core. "So Tasha," Irina began, pulling her lips away from Cristiano's neck to look at me, "I heard that you went out with Cris for 2 years, must suck to know that he'd been cheating on you for half of your relationship huh?" Irina purred at me as I shifted my weigh uncomfortably. I refused to answer the question, because no matter what I were to say, it would be held against me.
"Well, Rose and I were really nothing other than a fling... Weren't we?" Cris asked me searching deep in my eyes for any signs of pain. I once again refused to show any emotion. I watched Cris get frustrated. "Luckily you killed our baby, and then I could see who I really wanted." Cris smirked as I fumed, fumed with anger. Anger, frustration, pain and heartbreak. I couldn't hold it in any longer. I'd tried to be sincere about the break-up, but he kept on asking for a response, and you know what Cris? Here it is.
"Stop it Cris, shut up. You've won, you've won a game that I don't want to play. You played with my heart as if it was a toy, but the joke's on you. The fact that you show up here with Irina and try to act the 'happy couple' just to hurt me is pathetic. You cheated on me because you were too pathetic to hold onto any glimpse of happiness. So instead of apologizing for the mistake that you've made, you try to hold it against me, and thrive off of the pain that it causes me. I knew that you were a playboy, and tried to stop myself from falling for you, but it was no use. You clenched my heart and broke it without a single word. So stop, stop trying to hurt me with your low remarks, and realize that I have nothing left for you to break, nothing. You broke it all when you landed in bed with her, so congratulations, I hope that it was worth it. But I really don't care anymore. I really don't, so don't come near me Cris, because this new 'Ronaldo' is a jerk. The real Cris died when he cheated on me, and so you're dead to me. Cristiano Ronaldo is dead to me, because you've replaced him with some stranger." I yelled as the entire room fell silent and watched our group. I turned around, only to meet gossiping eyes. Crap. I slapped Cris hard across the face and stormed out, I don't care if he sues me for this, I really don't because it would be injustice if I hadn't have slapped him. I ran up the stairs crying, again. Cristiano Ronaldo was gone, I looked in his eyes and felt so cold, I saw the eyes of a stranger and the thought had shaken me to my very core. He was really gone.