A Heart Full of Emptiness

I hadn't been out since the 'accident' with the creep. I hadn't told anyone, only Cris; who had promised to keep it a secret. I don't know why I trusting him now, when he has done nothing to prove his trust to me. I kept myself locked up 24/7 inside Sergio's house, however I was house hunting. I'd secretly already found a villa that I loved, but had put off buying it to the very last minute, I was too scared to be alone in Madrid. It used to be a town that I loved, now it's as if it's a new area that I've never been to. The streets that I used to love to take romantic walks down with Cris, leave me scolding at them; the ghosts leaving me haunted with his ghost. I flicked my eyes away from the t/v screen and back onto my laptop. I was checking up on my tweets. '@TashaGrove, who the hell do you think that you are? You can't play innocent like that, everyone sees the bitch that you really are!' '@TashaGrove We all hate you, leave our Cristiano alone, he doesn't like you... That's why he's with Irina.' Some tweets read, as a fan page of Cris had posted a photo of Cris and I leaving the club together last night. I clicked on the photo... I looked awful, my eyes were red, my lips were chapped and there were blurry lines from my mascara trails. I pushed my laptop away from myself, no point in torturing myself.... Is there? I flicked my eyes back onto the news as the presenter announced, "It has just come to our attention that football star Cristiano Ronaldo, has reported a case of rape between his former lover Tasha Grove and a stranger at the club Blackened magic. The footballer claimed that he saved Tasha from the man who was close to raping her. We have not yet acknowledged Tasha's claim to the story, however we will be hearing from her soon." With that I turned off the t/v. I was mad, no worse than mad, furious. I was filled with a burning rage in my stomach, I told him not to tell anyone, and now the whole world knows. A pit was forming in my stomach, a pit of betrayal.

I bought the laptop back to my lap as I opened it and clicked on the villa. I then clicked 'buy' and entered my personal details, I was not going to live with Pilar and Sergio for much longer, if I did then I would never be allowed out of their sight. I heard Sergio burst through the door, as he walked towards my direction, and flung his arms around me. "I'm so sorry, why didn't you tell me?" Sergio asked softly as he nuzzled into my neck. I sighed and pulled away from him, drifting my eyes to my fingers that were fiddling with my dress.
"I was embarrassed. I didn't think that it was that important so I didn't tell you." I replied with my eyes filling with water, at the thought of what that man almost did. Sergio lifted my chin to face his face.
"Don't say that, you are one of the most important things in the world to me. Never, never be embarrassed for being hurt." Sergio soothed as I hugged him close never wanting to let go. I felt tears roll down my cheek and then land on Sergio's back. He gave me a weak smile, which I returned. I was embarrassed though. I was too weak to fend for myself...

The next morning I was woken up by Sergio playing music loudly in my room. I almost got a heart attack as I heard music boom out of the speakers. "Rise and shine." Sergio shouted above the music as I moaned and rubbed the sleep from my eyes.
"What do you want?" I asked Sergio, unaware of why he was waking me up. My work had given me 2 weeks off, so I still had 3 more days off of work. This meant that Sergio wanted me to do something for him... And I was dreading his response.
"I want for my bestest fwiend to come to training with me." Sergio begged, as he gave me puppy eyes. I exhaled loudly, not really wanting to get up in the early hours of the morning.
"Do I have to?" I whined, as Sergio's face perked up. I love it when he was happy, but to be honest I was to tired to move from my comfortable position.
"Yup, Ancelotti's orders. I must comply!" Sergio replied, winking at me before grabbing my arm and yanking me out of bed. I groaned loudly as Sergio laughed. I hated that he found me being tired amusing... I hate mornings.

I had finally got myself together, and Sergio had just pulled into the parking area as we walked towards the training ground. I felt a knot growing tighter and tighter as I walked into the training ground. Ancelotti smiled in my direction as he spotted me, and walked towards me. "Why do you want me here?" I asked calmly, although I was pretty annoyed that he had disturbed me from spending some quality one-on-one time with my bed... Wow... I'm so pathetic.
"Well, one of our players is lacking passion and commitment at the moment, and I have a feeling that I know the reason why. In a way I suppose your part of an experiment." Ancelotti explained as I rolled my eyes, what on earth was he going on about, Sergio had been playing excellently recently...
"Sergio's been in top form recently though." I justifies watching his facial expression become confused. Why was he so confused, Sergio was playing amazingly at the moment...
"It's not Sergio, it's Cristiano." He replied pointing in Cris's direction. I flinched as 'Cristiano' left his mouth. I could see Cris staring coldly at me as I tried to shake it off, but failed. The knot in my stomach only grew tighter, as I sat down on the bench and bought out my phone.

To be honest I was so glad that I'd come. I loved watching the players train and play together. Sergio and I had had a few conversations through eye contact, and Cris had been looking at me quite often... I don't know why he was paying any attention to me, he had Irina. My jaw clenched at the thought of stupid Irina. As training was ended Ancelotti called me to his office. I was awkward not knowing what on earth was going on. "Cristiano played really well today. He put in twice the effort that he normally does." Carlo began as I nodded, in an attempt to urge him into saying what was on his mind. He paused for a second, trying to find the right words. "The looks he gave you, the jealously that lingers in his eyes when he watches you interact with Sergio, this all adds up Tasha." he continued as he tried to make me figure out the answer. I returned his look with one that showed no signs of figuring out whatever he was trying to hint at me. "He still loves you Tasha. You were the best thing that ever happened to him whether he is willing to admit to in or not. I think that you should reconsider your relationship with him, he clearly still has deep feelings for you." Ancelotti explained as I looked at him with my jaw hitting the ground. Cris loves me, really? I wanted to get back together with him, but I didn't want to loose my dignity.
"Are you pressuring me into going out with one of your players?" I asked him, a little rattled with what was going on. Carlo couldn't tell me who to be with and who to love.
"I'm just telling you to reconsider one of my players, there will be benefits. Plenty of them." Carlo replied as I cut him an evil glare. I am not some gold digger, I couldn't give a damn about the money, to be honest I'm offended that he thought that I did.
"I'm not in it for the money Carlo. I will go out with Cristiano if I want to be with him, and to be honest I don't. He broke my heart and I refuse to give up any of my dignity for any sum of money. I'm not a gold digger Carlo and I'm not a whore. I reject your offer." I yelled a little too loudly as I caught a smile escape Ancelotti's lips. I rolled my eyes at him and stormed out, as Cristiano was in my pathway. This is too awkward...