Without You, There Is No Me

Slice
I watch as the blood bubbles from the cut.
Slice
The cool blade moves swiftly, effortlessly against my pale white skin.
The crimson droplets collect and form a streak down my wrist.
I felt like my mind was a balloon that was cut loose of a weight.

Knock knock knock
I shoved the blade back into its box, grabbed a wipe, cleaned the blood.
I pulled my sleeve down over my arm and collected myself.
"Come in."
My mother pushed opened the door slowly.
"Aria, we need to talk..."
I dread hearing these words from her mouth.
What she really means is this:
"Aria, I'm going to talk, and you are going to listen and do as you're told."

I shrugged, crossing my legs.
"Your principal called. He says you aren't doing very well academically, or socially..."
I sighed and shook my head.
These people will never understand me.
"Aria, look at me. You know that we are of good standing in this community."
Here it goes.
"And, you understand how this looks for the rest of our family.
You are a brilliant girl.
You just need to apply yourself more.
Push yourself further."

I rolled my eyes.
So many things I want to say to her.
They don't understand me.
No one bothers to help me comprehend.
No one knows how I feel.
I'm an outcast.
Your good graces in this town don't mean I'm automatically accepted in this town.
But, I bite my tongue and nod and tell her what she wants to hear.

"Yes, Mother. I'll try harder."