Everything Changed

Ronnie's PoV

The rest of the little vacation consisted of me going to Danny's every night and getting drunk, being hungover the next day, and drinking some more.

Everyone was getting sick of it, even Ben, I can't blame him. I'm horrible in bed when I'm drunk out of my skull. Part of me wanted to cut back and another didn't care.

I don't know why I was acting this way, it just happened.

I was sober on New Years though. Which is strange, because that's usually when people drink, but I didn't. And neither did Ben. It was one of those cute moments in our relationships. It's a shame it only lasted a few hours. I was back at it the next day.

"Come on Ronnie. It's time to leave." Ben yelled from downstairs. I grabbed my phone from his nightstand and went downstairs.

"It was great meeting you Ronnie. We'll have to go out for coffee sometime." His mom hugged me.

"Don't kill yourself out there alright? It'd suck if you didn't end up being my sister in law because you died." Rebekah said.

"Who said I was marrying him?" I asked.

"Who said I was marrying her?" Ben asked at the same time.

"The way you look at each other. How you act together. Not to mention how adorable the two of you are." She ranted. "Just be careful." She said suddenly serious. She hugged me and we finished saying goodbye before Ben and I left and got onto the bus that was waiting for us down the road.

"First on the bus. The back room is still ours." Ben smirked.

"It was going to be ours anyway." I laughed as he picked me up and placed me on the bed.

"I love you." He said softly.

"I love you too." Ben and I just laid there in silence as we waited for everyone else to show up. "Hey Ben?" I asked quietly.

"Yes love?"

"What's going to happen after tour? I have to go back with Jackson, and you have to go back to Texas. Will we work out?" I finally asked what had been on my mind for the past week.

"Why wouldn't we work out? It's going to be different for a while. Seeing as we're used to being around each other constantly. But we can visit each other. Skype. Call. Text." He explained. I just sighed, still having my doubts. "I love you Veronica Chelsea Andrews. And if you honestly think that a few thousand miles will change anything then you're obviously crazy." I smiled and he kissed me.

"I'm going to miss you." I said when he pulled away.

"How do you think I feel? I'm going to have to sleep alone. I hate sleeping alone." He complained.

"At least you have dogs. I have nothing besides me myself and I." I argued. "Oh god. What about the sex?" I asked almost panicked.

"I think you're having a harder time with this than I am." He laughed. "And don't worry about the sex. There are other ways to keep yourself pleasured." He said the last part lowly in my ear.

"I'd still rather have the real thing." I sighed.

"Says the one who deleted all the pictures of herself off my phone."

"Check in your icloud photo stream idiot." He took out his phone and looked through his photos before smirking.

"You really are perfect." He mumbled into my neck.

"Mm. I know." I said as Sam came running in.

"How the fuck do you two always get here first?!" He yelled. I just laughed. And got up from the bed going to the 'living room' and sitting on the couch.

Once everyone had made their way back onto the bus we were off to god knows where.

I couldn't help but think how this whole tour experience turned out to be nothing like I thought.

I thought life on the road would consist of sex drugs and rock and roll, when in reality it was me and Ben fucking, and getting drunk every once in a while.

I was craving some fun. Which is probably what led me to make the decision I did later that night.

-Later That Night-

"You sure about this?" The man asked almost teasingly.

"Would I be here if I wasn't. I have you the money so hand it over." I said slightly annoyed.

"That's no way to talk to your dealer is it?" He smirked.

"Probably not. But this is a one time thing." I snatched the bag from him and walked off.

So much trouble for such a small bag. I thought looking at the bag of white powder. It had been a while since I had done drugs of any kind. Mostly because I didn't have any money, and alcohol was enough. But right now I was craving something more.

The guys were preforming, and I had said I wasn't feeling well, and got a roadie to cover for me.

This was probably all a mistake, but I still poured the contents of the bag onto the counter of the bathroom on the bus.

I formed it into multiple lines with one of the guys credit cards and took a 5 dollar bill from my pocket and rolled it up.

I sighed before bringing it to my nose and doing all of the lines.

It stung, but at the same time it felt good. It was like every worry and care I had never existed. Every emotion was suddenly gone.

I was free.

There was still that part of me. Hidden some where under the high of the cocaine that knew that by doing this one stupid thing, I had locked myself into a cage that I most likely would escape until I died.

That thought was completely washed away when the drug took its full effect. My heart and mind was racing. I took a swig from one of the bottles of alcohol on the bus.

I was on top of the world. And nothing could bring me down.

- A Few Hours Later -

"Ronnie. Ronnie. Ron. Veronica!" Ben's voice almost sounded desperate. I slowly opened my eyes. My vision was slightly blurred, but I could tell from Ben's red and puffy eyes he'd been crying, and that I was on the bed in the back room.

"What's wrong?" I asked wanting to go back to sleep. I looked and saw all the guys standing around my with sad faces.

"I told you she'd wake up. I always did. From the looks of it she mixed the cocaine and the alcohol. She passed out." Danny explained.

Wait, how'd they know about the cocaine?"

"You made the novice mistake of not picking up after yourself love." Danny held up the small bag, credit card, and 5 dollar bill.

"Fuck." I muttered.

"So this is why you said you were sick? So you could snort cocaine?" James asked.

"Seriously Ron, I can't believe this." Cam added. Him and James walked away, Sam following him.

Ben still hadn't said anything, and Danny was just standing there with his arms crossed.

"I don't see what the big deal is. I'm not dead." I finally said. Danny opened his mouth to say something, but Ben beat him to it.

"You aren't dead this time! What about the next?! What if you take it too far? What if you don't wake up? What if you're taken out of this fucking bus in a fucking body bag Ronnie? What then?" Ben yelled.

"What if. That's all they are. I know what I'm doing." That's when Ben walked off. Leaving Danny and I alone.

"I know from experience you aren't going to listen to a word I say, and you'll go out tomorrow night and repeat what you did tonight, but I'm gonna say this anyway. You aren't in control of the drug, the drug is in control of you. You don't control anything any more. And in this whole thing you aren't only hurting yourself. But you're hurting Sam, Cameron, James, me, and most importantly Ben. He saw me go through this shit and it hurt him enough. I am not imagine how much it hurts seeing the girl he loves go through it." Danny sighed. "I was in your place too, so I get it. But I also get that the way you're going now isn't going to get you anywhere." He ranted.

"Thanks Danny. I'll keep that in mind." I said sarcastically.

He gave me a small smile and got up leaving the room. I groaned and brought the pillow over my head trying to go back to sleep.

It was going to be a long rest of tour.

Ben's PoV

I barely felt anything as my fist collided with the wall for the fourth time.

Why Ronnie? Why did that fucking drug get to another person I care about? Danny barely got out of it alive, and that was only because of his career. Ronnie doesn't have anything to pull her out of that hole, besides me, but she won't listen. No one ever does.

My fist connected with the wall once again.

"Jesus fucking christ Benjamin. We won't have a wall if you keep going at this rate." Danny smiled leaning up against the door frame.

"Well excuse me for being pissed off." I growled.

"You aren't pissed you're hurt.You're hurt because you feel like you failed not just her but Jackson, her brother, and whoever else care about her. You're hurt because you feel like you can't do anything to help her." He explained.

"Get out of my head Danny." I grumbled collapsing onto the bed. "How could I help her anyway? You probably don't remember how bad you were, but I do."

"I've heard about it enough, that's for sure." He sighed and sat next to me. "Ronnie's a good person Ben, she doesn't give into anything easily. Not to mention she has convinced herself she has the upper hand in this. She'll be fine, I know it." When I didn't respond he left the room.

I don't understand how he could just lie to my face like that. He knew as well as I do that she wouldn't be fine.

She's down a road of self destruction she'd never understand.

And there's nothing any one can do to help, she has to make that decision herself.

What scares me the most is that she probably won't be able to, and she won't make it out...