Everything Changed

Ronnie's PoV

I couldn't sleep. What my brother had said bothered me. Even though he might not know who I am now, he knew me back then. When we were growing up we only had each other. There wasn't anyone else. But then he left. And I started on my downhill spiral of self-destruction. Our relationship will never be like it was, and that's both of our faults.

"You were such a good kid though. What happened?"

"You have enough problems of your own. Hanging around with some rock band isn't going to do you any good."

"Drinking, doing drugs, having sex, that's not grown up. You might be over 18, but you're no where near grown up."

"You're actually dating him? Is that the best idea?"
"How do you put up with her?"

"What happened to the sweet and innocent Veronica? The one that would watch Care Bear movies back to back? The one who couldn't go to sleep without someone singing to her? What happened to my sister?"

"You're acting more like a child now than you did when we actually were kids."

All of Ethan's words of disappointment were burned into my memory, all flashing back at once and I couldn't stop it.

"For fucks sake." I said sitting up in bed, not caring if I woke Ben.

Standing up I went to go see if there was anything I could drink here.

"Ronnie? What are you doing?" Ben squinted at me as I reached the door of the bedroom.

"I need something to drink. I'll be right back." My voice cracked as I was talking. Ben noticed and got up coming to stand next to me.

"What's the matter Love?" He asked wrapping his arms around me. I just buried my head into his bare chest, not answering his question. "Want me to make you some of that horrible drink you and Danny drink constantly? I got the mix from Danny for you."

I nodded and grabbed his hand, leading him to the kitchen and opening the refrigerator grabbing the alcohol from the bottom shelf and handing it to him.

"You're going to have to let go of my hand if you want me to mix this." I sighed but let go of his hand.

When he was finished he put some ice in the cup and handed it to me.

"You want to talk about whatever is bothering you?" He asked after I downed the drink.

"I want a cigarette." I avoided his question and went over to my bag and searched for my pack.

"Does Jackson care if you smoke in here?" Ben asked.

"Not like he could stop me anyway." I said when I found the pack. "Do you have a lighter?" I asked.

"Not on me."

Sighing I walked over to the stove, turning it on, lighting the cigarette and turning it off again.

"Talk to me Ron." Ben said desperately.

"I am talking to you. Just not about what you want to be talking to you about." I sighed. "What do you want me to do Ben? Tell you that all my mistakes have finally caught up with me? That I'm actually beginning to regret almost every choice I've made? That I just want everything to stop? That I think that everything my brother said was true, That I have changed since I was 15, and it wasn't for the better? That I'm still a child who needs to grow up?" I was trying my best to keep my voice down.

Ben didn't say anything for what seemed like forever.

"See, this is why I didn't tell you." I grabbed his jacket off the couch, slipped on some shoes and left the apartment.

Not wanting him to follow me, but knowing at the same time that I needed him to...

Ben's PoV

If I would have known that Ronnie had thought any of those things I would have helped her. Showed her that she was wrong.

Why did she have to be so damn good at hiding things.

"Are you going to just stand there or go after her?" A tired looking Jackson asked from the doorway. "You also might want to get dressed. It's freezing out there."

"Right." I said pulling on a shirt, pants and shoes before running after her. "Ronnie!" I called seeing her pacing across the street.

She looked at me and just sat down on the ground. I ran across the street to where she was.

"C'mere." I said pulling her into my arms. I felt her body shake as she began to cry.

"Why do I keep doing this to myself Ben? Why do I continue with the drinking, smoking, and all the other shit? I don't get it." She whispered.

"I drink as much as you do. It's who we are. We don't know any other way to deal with things. So we self medicate, and we self-destruct." I said softly.

"Well it's stupid." She sighed.

"About your brother." I started, being careful of what I said. "He'll come around, he just missed out on a part of your life so he's out of the loop, but he'll catch up soon enough."

"That's not the problem though. He shouldn't have to catch up. I shouldn't have changed like I did." She told me.

"Okay, so let's say for a minute that you didn't change. You wouldn't have met Jackson. Who I think is more of a brother to you than your actual brother. You wouldn't have been at that bar that night in your ripped tight jeans, Sex Pistols shirt, and combat boots. Danny and I wouldn't have noticed you. We wouldn't have partied and slept together. You wouldn't have forgotten your phone on my tour bus, and have to come back the next day. You wouldn't have come on tour. We wouldn't have started dating. You wouldn't be apart of the Asking Family, and we wouldn't be sitting here together right now." I told her.

"But if I didn't change I wouldn't be addicted to half the shit I am now, and I would have my brother in my life." She said.

"Are those the only negative things you can think of?" I asked. She thought for a moment, and then stayed silent. "So if you didn't make the decisions you did when you were 15 you would be straight edge and have a relationship with your brother, but since you did make those 'bad' decisions, you have an amazing rock star boyfriend, a decent amount of money, one of the best families you could ask for, and oh, did I mention an amazing boyfriend?" She chuckled and I kissed her forehead. "Besides, if you really want that relationship with Ethan to be rekindled you can make that happen. Just talk to him about it."

"You are an amazing boyfriend." She smiled.

"I know." I said. "Now can we go back inside. It's freezing, and you have my jacket."

"C'mon Bruce." She laughed and took my hand walking across the street and back up to the apartment.

"Everything alright?" Jackson asked when he saw us.

"Yeah, sorry if we woke you." Ronnie said.

"It's fine. I have to start getting ready for work anyway."

"We're going back to bed. I'll text you later and we can catch up some more." Jackson nodded and Ronnie and I went back to her room.

"You're going to get sick. Lack of sleep and being outside like that." She told me.

"And who's fault is that?" I asked. "Besides, I won't mind. You'll have to take care of me. Maybe even get one of those nurse cos-"

"I swear to God if you finish that sentence I'll..." I chuckled as I stripped down to my boxers and walked over to where she was standing.

"You'll what?" I teased.

"Shut up and give me your shirt." She grumbled. I gave it to her and we got into bed.

"Hey Ronnie?" I asked after a minute.

"Yeah?"

"Want to, -uh, go out tonight?" I asked nervously. She turned around in my arms to face me.

"Like a date?" She teased.

"U-uh, I guess."

"You're kidding me right? Big and badass Ben Bruce asking me on a date."

"I knew it was stupid just forget it." I mumbled, my ego shot down.

"Ben." She whined kissing me quickly. "I'm kidding. I'd love to."

A smile broke out of my face,

"Really?" I asked.

"I've got nothing better to do. Besides, I don't think we've ever been on an actual date."

"I love you so fucking much you know." I said.

"I love you too. Now let me sleep."

I kissed her softly before we both fell asleep.

I was really looking forward to tonight.