I Could Be Your Perfect Disaster

The drive felt like forever. Soon we pulled up to a little nature trail, with lights lighting up the path. It was cute. I turned to Matt. "Is this the secret place?" He shook his head. "Not quite, follow me." He got out of the car and I followed. We walked down the trail for a little bit until we reached a lake at the end. It looked beautiful. The moon's reflection was glistening on the water. I could see houses across the lake, the lights from them lighting up the side Matt and I were standing on. There were cute little benches by the water. "Matt this is so..beautiful. How did you find this place?" He looked at me. "Well, that house all the way across the lake there is mine. I guess one day I was curious about what was on this side so I went on an adventure to find out. And well...I'm glad I did." I smiled at him. "It's so..incredible." He looked at me with a sweet face. "Like you?" I looked at him. My cheeks burned. He smiled at me. "Here, come sit." I followed him to a bench.

We sat there for hours, talking about endless things. It felt good to hang out with Matt again. He never judged me, he was a genuinely good friend. It just made the guilt of everything about Josh come back to haunt me. I knew I had to tell Matt one day, but right now just wasn't the right time. After a little while, we stopped talking and just gazed at the water. Matt spoke up. "You know Leah, becoming your friend really made me a happier person." I blushed. "Really?" He nodded. "I'm happy I became your friend too." He looked at me with the cutest smile. He had a nice smile. He grabbed my hand. I watched him, my cheeks turning bright red. Luckily it was dark outside and he couldn't see. "I just..there's something...um.." "Matt what is it?" He stared at me and I held the gaze. "I think I need to be honest right now.." I continued to stare into his eyes, I wasn't sure of what to say. "Leah..I just...I really like you." He barely whispered. My jaw dropped a little. He liked me? Oh no. "You-you do?" He bit his lip. "Y-yeah..sorry if I just made things awkward..I'm not good at stuff like this." I gave him sympathetic eyes. "No Matt, that's so sweet..I.." Was I really about to say this? "You what?" I paused. "I think I like you too..." His eyes grew wide and he smiled at me. "Really?" I hesitantly nodded.

His next move really threw me off guard. He cupped my face and kissed me. His lips were soft and warm, just like Josh's. Josh. When I kissed Josh, there was a current that ripped through me. It made me want more. I didn't feel that way with Matt. Maybe I didn't like him back. Then why would I say it? To be nice? I probably got his hopes up and now it's too late to take it back. Out of all this I knew one thing..

I wanted Josh and only Josh.