I Could Be Your Perfect Disaster

I woke up the next morning with a pounding headache. Thank god it was the weekend. I could barely get the strength to pick myself up out of bed. I just laid there like a dead body.

I could hear footsteps coming closer to my room. I knew it was my mom. I really didn't want to face her with how sick I felt. I just wanted to be left alone.

"Sweetie? How did it go last night? Did you have fun?" She came over and sat beside me on my bed. I rolled over to face her. "Oh you know, it was a regular old teenage party." She nodded and proceeded to ask me more questions. "How did it go with Matt? Is he going to be your boyfriend now? He seemed so sweet when I met him, I totally approve!" I rolled my eyes at her. Why did she keep trying to set me up with Matt? I guess because she assumes since he's my first friend here, he'll end up being my boyfriend but I can only see Matt and I being friends. I hope he doesn't feel differently. "No mom, I barely know him. It seems like we're just staying on the path of friends for right now." She sighed and nodded again. I was done answering her questions, I just wanted to sleep longer. "Mom I'm honestly still really tired, can I go back to sleep?" She gave me an eerie smile and got up. "Too much partying, eh?" She winked at me and left my room. Ugh, that woman sometimes.

I flipped over again, trying to get comfortable under my sheets but before I could, my phone rang. The ringtone just made my head hurt even more. I answered it barely even able to form words. "Mm, hello?" "Rough morning?" I heard chuckling. It was Matt. "Seriously though. My head is killing me." "That's what happens when you drink too much." I laughed at myself. "Yeah I need to remember not to do that next time. So, why the random phone call?" "What, I can't just be a nice friend and call you to see how you were doing?" He pretended to be hurt. "I'm sorry that's against the law!" I couldn't help but laugh at him. It actually made me happy knowing he cared so much. Before I could say anything he spoke up again. "You should be honored to have a friend like me." I giggled. "I'm actually very honored." I put my hand on my chest although he couldn't see it. "Good, I guess this means we're best friends now?" I smiled at the thought. "I could've sworn we already were." I knew he probably blushed when I said that. "I'm glad we are. I really feel like I can trust you with things...and it's really hard for me to trust someone." My face fell. I actually felt really guilty now. I was touched that Matt could trust me so much, I actually felt like I could trust him too, but I was hiding the fact that I kissed someone he didn't like and it was eating me up inside. "Matt that's...so sweet. I feel like I can trust you with things too." "I'll never betray you, I promise." I smiled but it quickly faded when the guilt worked its way up into me again. "Same to you. But I actually feel really sick so I'll talk to you later, okay?" "Alright, feel better, bye."

I hung up the phone and just dropped it beside me. I stared up at my ceiling thinking about the conversation we just had. Which brought me to think about what happened with Josh last night. It sent chills up my spine. I actually kissed him. More than that .I made out with him and honestly, although I was guilty, I don't regret it. There's something about Josh I can't really pin point but it made me feel something I've never felt before.

Who am I kidding? I've talked to the boy twice and kissed him. That's basically whore status for me. Also, everyone was fucked up on something. He had to have been too. That's the only reason he kissed me. It's not because he liked me, I was stupid for even thinking that.

I just laid there for what seemed like hours, thinking over and over about everything. Matt and I just became best friends and I basically already screwed up our friendship. I wish I knew what had happened between him and Josh. Maybe there's a way to fix it.

I can only find out if I try.