Marked

The day was fairly warm with a gentle breeze blowing off the ocean, cooling the coast to a pleasant temperature. It was one of those perfect days to be outside enjoying the lovely California weather, walking through the parks and gardens or just relaxing on the beach outside of the tourist packed summers. The sky was cloudless and the sun shone pleasantly with just the right amount of heat to balance out the chill of the water. There would be an outpouring of delighted locals coming out after the work and school day was over. For Rosario this was usually the most enjoyable kind of day to go for a long run to erase all of her dark thoughts.

However, there were far more important matters to take care of and her favorite pastime was the last thing on her mind. Rosario sat in the lobby of the large government building dedicated to the Child Welfare Service offices, waiting for her time to speak with Linda and sign the last few documents releasing her from state custody. The air conditioning in the building kept the temperature fairly cold and the quaint older lady behind the front desk wore a sweater over her puffy pale pink blouse.

Despite that, Rosario leaned back in her chair and fanned herself with an outdated magazine, trying in vain to cool off. A thin layer of sweat beaded on her forehead and made stray strands of dark hair stick to her cheeks annoyingly, though she had long since given up trying to brush them aside. The air felt stifling and hot to her, like she had been in an oven all day. Not even putting her face right in front of the surprisingly strong AC vents in her truck with the air on full blast had made her feel cool. She was hot everywhere, and occasionally a wave of fire would radiate out from her throbbing birthmark and consume her body for just a second. This would only serve to renew the uncomfortable heat she was feeling.

Since the inexplicable event last night Rosario’s scarred left hip had been burning angrily in a painful reminder that something had happened. She didn’t know what, but it was weird and certainly unnatural. Who could she talk to about it though? With all that she’d been through they would probably just think she had finally fallen off her rocker, and it’d be off to the crazy house with Rosario. So she had made the firm decision to keep everything to herself because honestly she wasn’t sure if it had really happened or not. It certainly felt real, but isn’t that what a crazy person would say?

Aside from all that, Rosario just felt… uncomfortable. She was restless and on edge with the feeling that something was happening she couldn’t control – but what? Everything was about to be in her control now for the first time in her life. Rosario had never had a say before and she had learned to live with it, so why did she feel this way now? She had chalked it up to nothing more than nerves from finally gaining the ability to make decisions for herself. At least, that’s what the fresh eighteen year old tried to convince herself.

She put her focus into fanning herself with the magazine, a renewed vigor in the strokes. Every movement sent a refreshing wave of air rolling over her face and neck, causing her skin to tingle pleasantly. Rosario allowed her eyes to drift shut as she lavished in the feeling of the self made breeze, aware of the way every single current caressed across her skin. She felt the way the air moved around the woman at the desk as she bent to pick up a dropped pen, how it was disturbed by a door opening further down the hall, pushed forward by someone walking into the room…

Rosario’s eyes snapped open and her fanning halted suddenly as she sat up straight in her chair, blinking in shock. The throbbing in her abdomen flared back up with renewed vigor, feeling worse than ever since it had stopped for a few moments while she drifted off. She gulped and tried to settle the nerves causing a horrible fluttering feeling in her stomach. “Rosario?” Came a familiar voice filled with concern.

Linda was in the room looking like she’d been standing there a few moments trying to get her attention. Rosario immediately stood up and braced herself as the entire room spun dangerously a couple times. She put on a happy smile and walked up to her social worker, giving the woman a hug. They exchanged a few words of pleasantry and started towards the office down the hall, the door open and inviting. She shut it behind her as she stepped into the familiar office and took a seat, ready to start the rest of her life.

The paperwork didn’t take long to complete but it was hard for Rosario to focus on what should’ve been the happiest moment of her life. Between the hot flashes and the pain, she felt woozy and ill at ease. She noticed that Linda kept giving her concerned glances when she had to ask her to repeat things several times. Finally she signed and dated the last line that granted her freedom and pushed the thick packet of paper across the desk to her long-time friend. Rosario had for years imagined metaphorical shackles and chains crumbling and falling off her at this very moment, but all she felt was nauseas.

“Is everything ok, dear?” Linda asked with deep lines of concern wrinkling her forehead. She looked genuinely worried for her freshly released charge as she reached across the table and cupped Rosario’s damp, clammy hands.

The eighteen year old offered what she hoped was a comforting smile, though it ended up looking more like a cringe. Linda looked unconvinced and gave a reassuring squeeze. Finally Rosario sighed and said weakly, “I’m just coming down with a cold. It’s not a big deal.” Linda looked skeptical but gave Rosario’s hands a pat before offering her some hand sanitizer. She accepted and rubbed it into her hands just to placate the woman, struggling to focus as the pain intensified and her vision began to swim.

“Well, if you’re certain that’s all it is,” Linda murmured and leaned down in her chair to open up a drawer. There was the sound of some rustling around before she straightened and produced a tiny, worn wooden box with old symbols carved into it. “This is yours. When I traveled out of the country to pick you up I was given this by the woman who had been caring for you. She said it was very meaningful and she wanted you to have it on the day you reached adulthood. Go on, dear.”

Rosario’s eyes were fixed to the small, delicate looking box of washed out, faded wood. Anxiety welled up in her chest and threatened to strangle her as she stared at it. Tentatively she reached out and the pain in her doubled, spreading across her entire body. She made a blind grab for the box and pushed open the sliding lid with shaking fingers. Inside Rosario felt round beads connected together, smooth aside from lines etched into them.

“Well, put it on, honey,” Linda urged.

With the room spinning dangerously and agony consuming her entire body, Rosario was on the verge of crying out. Spikes were being driven into her skull and her entire body was on fire. She felt lightheaded as if she was going to pass out or begin hyperventilating. She hurt. Not seeing what she had grabbed out of the box, Rosario lifted the beads up over her head and dropped the necklace around her neck to thud dully against her chest.

Instantly it felt as if the world righted itself. The pain is her body disappeared entirely, with such suddenness that she gasped in a mixture of surprise and delight. Her vision cleared and the room ceased its spinning – even the cool temperature of the air returned to her and she felt her sweat beginning to dry almost immediately. Rosario looked down at the necklace with suspicion and amazement both, lifting it in her hands so that it could be thoroughly inspected. She saw now that it was a rosary made with smooth white beads, possibly ivory or bone, and on each little bead was etched a tiny symbol. One of the runes even looked strangely close to her birthmark but with an extra part drawn on it. She held up the small figure at the end and silently thanked the tiny Jesus hanging on his cross.

Linda watched her carefully with no sign that she suspected anything out of the ordinary to be going on. She was simply watching someone disconnected from her birthplace for 18 years reestablish some small connection that might turn into something huge and profound. Finally the blonde woman cleared her throat and drew attention back to the matter weighing on her mind. “I know you’ve never asked about your biological parents before,” Linda began, but Rosario interrupted her quickly.

“You’re right. I don’t want to know,” she said with a harsh edge that she didn’t mean, “If I wasn’t good enough for them to keep me then they’re not good enough for me to know about them.” Rosario had spoken the words but she no longer felt them in her heart. Up until this very day she had meant everything she said, but now she couldn’t help but wonder about them. Her hand tightened around the rosary until the cross pressed painfully into her palm – had they known something about her that she didn’t? There certainly were too many odd things going on in the last 16 hours for it to be coincidence.

There was a frown marring Linda’s face as she glanced down briefly at Rosario’s hand, still clutching the necklace. “That isn’t the case, dear,” she said gently in an effort to soothe the teen girl’s brief anger. There were several moments of tense silence, but finally Rosario sighed and nodded her consent. Linda continued, “I flew to southern Mexico to get you right after they had their national economic crisis in the 90s and things were… well, it was bad, dear. There were hospital facilities set up, run by charity and volunteers, to provide the people basic healthcare. That’s where you were born, in one of those hospitals. Your mother was fifteen when she had you. Apparently she walked miles by herself while in labor to make it there and see that you were born to doctors and taken care of properly.

“She was in labor in the hospital for 16 hours before you came along. The doctor told me you weren’t alive at first, but when they put you in her arms and she smiled at you – well, you took your first breath just like that. She didn’t make it and no one knew who your father was. She had no other living family members so you were taken care of by one of the volunteer nurses at the facility, Desi. I’ll never forget the look on that girl’s face when I took you from her. She looked frightened and angry and protective of you all at once, but I promised her you’d be well taken care of here. That’s when she gave me the rosary in the box and pleaded with me to give it to you the day you turned eighteen. Desi was so desperate that I had to reassure her at least twenty times I’d give it to you. It was rather sweet, dear.

“She truly loved you, and your mother did too. Even at fifteen your mother was desperate to give you a better start in life, so she walked all that way while in labor to get you the right care. Desi was so worried you wouldn’t be looked after that she almost didn’t give you to me. And Rose, dear, I care very deeply about you too. I’ve watched you grow from a tiny infant to a beautiful woman with her whole life ahead of her. I’m proud of you, and they would be too,” Linda finished.

There were a few moments of silence while Rosario let everything sink in. Her mind was racing as all the implications settled, and she knew that there had to be something more going on here that this Desi woman knew about. Why else make it so important that she get the rosary exactly on her 18th birthday when inexplicable things started to happen? Rosario laughed suddenly as realization hit her, “My name means rosary.”

No, it definitely wasn’t a coincidence.