A Boy Above Brighter Words (One Year, 12 Months)

The school year officially starts on January 12th. For Jack, it's going to be long, tedious year. Whilst he might remember most of the stuff he learnt last year, he's still not capable of putting it into words or speech, so most of his classes are filled with remedial students, or those who need a little extra help due to some form of disability.

It took Jack a long time not to be angry at the fact that he'll be getting a different graduation certificate than Rian or Zack, one that won't be as valuable to any college he applies to. Jack probably won't go to college any time soon, if he ever goes at all.

But that's okay, as long as he graduates, he doesn't mind whether or not it's with a certificate that states he's only attained what they call 'life skills' in all subjects.

He just wants his mother to be proud of him, the baby of the family.

He can't help but be excited for Rian and Zack though, the two of them starting their first year at college, Zack in Sport Science and Rian in Music Production. They're so happy, Rian neurotically organising his vast stationary collection and Zack mixing up weird combinations of protein drinks in an eternal quest to become the Hulk, Jack's sure. They're the best friends anyone could ask for, willing to live with Jack and not in the dorms, come home every afternoon and help him with his homework, drive him everywhere.

“Jack, hurry the fuck up we're going to be late!”

Jack hurriedly drags a brush through the disaster that is his hair, snags his messenger bag from the chair he's thrown it on and jogs down the hallway. Rian is one of those people who is perpetually worried about being late, and therefore ends up being everywhere way too early.

It's a quirk Jack'll never get used to, preferring to sleep in and only get up at the last minute, but if getting up a bit earlier means he doesn't have to walk to school, he's willing to sacrifice.

Jack always calls shotgun, or merely shoves Zack out of the way in lieu of words because he likes to be in control of the radio, and well, it's his and Rian's chat time on the ten minute journey.

“So, what subjects have you got today?” Rian says when they stop at a red light.

“I have” Jack starts, “I have...English, and I have....I don't know.”

Jack does know. He has math, English, geography and his music elective class.

“Guitar!” He says after the car starts off again, the word rushing from between his lips.

Rian nods thoughtfully, and Jack's always, always thankful that both his friends are so okay with him, don't constantly pressure him to find the right words, to answer straight away.

Sometimes Jack doesn't find ever find the right words. If he's lucky though, they do come to him, even if they don't quite make sense. Rian and Zack are well versed in Jack translation.

When they arrive outside of the school, Jack tries not to cringe. Before the accident, or even a little after, when they were all still in the same year, he had liked school. But the kids are different now, crueller.

“I have a late class so I won't be home until dinner, and Zack's going to the gym so try not to burn the house down, okay?”

Jack laughs, stepping out of the car and sliding his bag strap over his head.

“I will think about it” He says, the sarcasm rolling off his tongue with about as much ease as he gets. That's the thing with aphasia, there's no rules to define what he's capable of on any given day, what'll come out easier than something else.

At least he's retained his ability to be sarcastic, even if he sometimes has to supplement his swear words with universally understood hand gestures.

The first thing Rian says when he comes home that night is “I met a boy today” and both Jack and Zack pause in their activities.

They're in the kitchen, Jack having been roped into chopping up vegetables for salad.

“A boy, huh?” Zack says, and Jack laughs, because it isn't possible to sound more suspicious than Zack does right now.

Rian laughs as well, “Not that kind of boy babe, just he's in my 101 class and he didn't get into the dorms so he's looking for a place to stay”

Jack's heart thuds suddenly in his chest.

The three of them have discussed adding another room mate to the lease. They're doing alright, not behind on rent or anything, but well, they could always use a little more money for important things, like pizza and while Rian and Zack have part time jobs, Jack's mom covers his share of the rent, and Jack wishes he could contribute.

But no ones going to hire someone who can't string a sentence together, especially not in todays economy.

It's also been hard to find someone who hasn't been a complete dick, whether in general or to Jack specifically.

“Oh,” Zack looks indescribably relieved, “Nice guy then?”

“Seems alright so far, mentioned I had a boyfriend and he was cool with it, wants to meet you guys”

It's decided that Rian will invite the boy over to meet them, and they can go from there. Jack doesn't hold particularly high hopes.

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The first time Alex notices the boy from his well, most of his classes in anything more than an arbitrary manner, it's because he's managed to trip over his own feet and crash into the guys desk.

Alex is a suave, collected human.

The boy laughs, and introduces himself as Rian. They always sit together after that, trading band names and favourite songs, Rian getting called out by every single teacher they have because he subconsciously drums on everything what whatever he happens to be holding.

Alex is kind of impressed that he's found someone who's willing to put with his antics so early on in the year, because he has a tendency to be either ridiculously upbeat and irritating, or well, he's not ashamed to admit he can sulk like a bitch.

So far, so good. College is turning out to be pretty damn awesome.

It would be more awesome though, if Alex did have to live with his grandparents. His parents live on the other side of the state, and he didn't get into the dorms. His grandparents are lovely people, but they're kind of crushing his creativity, and by creativity Alex means either playing music or his guitar way too loud and jumping around like an idiot.

So meeting Rian seems like a godsend, because there's a possibility he's looking for a room mate to live with him, his boyfriend and his best friend. Alex tries not to pout, because clearly all the good guys are taken. It'd be nice to be open about who he is though, so he's definitely interested.

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Jack's engrossed in a very intense game of Sonic nearly a week later when the doorbell rings, and since he can hear the thud of drumbeats from upstairs, he knows Rian hasn't heard.

He sighs, and pauses his game.

At least one of the benefits of being him is that it's pretty easy to get rid of salespeople.

There's another knock, and Jack hurries a little, socked feet slipping against the hardwood floor.

He opens the door, and well, he doesn't think this guy is a salesmen.

“Hi!” The boy chirps, all long legs and skinny jeans, clad in an Atticus hoodie and Jack has so many things he'd like to say like hello and do you like Blink and what can I do for you, cute face.

“Hello” Is all he manages.

There's a pause, in which the boy looks at him, as if waiting for him to say something else until it becomes obvious Jack isn't, and the boy smiles.

“Uh, i'm Alex. I'm looking for a Rian?”

It's entirely unfair that moderately attractive boy is going to add onto their failed room mate list.

“Yes, Rian. Come inside.”

Jack holds the door open and gestures for the boy to come in, closes the door behind him and promptly bolts to find Rian.

It takes a few seconds for him to distract Rian from his drums, and Jack struggles to think of what to say.

“Rian, Rian” He says, and Rian sets his drumsticks down.

“What's up?”

“Like, there is. A boy inside.”

“A boy inside where Jack, your game?”

“No. Home. Knock knock.”

“Oh, someone at the door?”

“Yes.”

Rian doesn't get enough credit for being able to figure out what Jack's trying to say. He stands up, and Jack follows him back the hallway, where the boy is standing, looking about as awkward as Jack feels. You don't abandon house guests in hallways by themselves.

“Alex, hey” Rian greets, all bright smiles and the boy, Alex, holds out his fist and they bump them together.

“Got the right house then, I was worried for a minute there, they all look the fucking same”

Rian laughs, “I know right, I came home one night and lets just say the neighbours weren't very happy about me knocking on their door at 2am”

“Anyway, this is my best friend Jack and Jack, this is Alex from my music class.”

Alex holds out a hand, and Jack shakes it. It's a nice firm handshake, and Jack likes that. It means that Alex doesn't think he's stupid just yet.

“Nice to meet you” Alex says, and Jack knows he has to respond somehow.

“Nice to meet you too” He goes with, because he knows what that means, and his ability to repeat things is far greater than his ability to construct a sentence of his own to mean the same thing.

“Zack's out at the moment, but I can give you a tour if you want?”

“Sounds good”

Jack hides in his room as Rian shows Alex around, listens to the two of them laugh and joke around, and he seems nice. But they all seem nice.

When Alex is finally gone, and Zack is home, they agree that they'll invite Alex over for dinner, get to know him a bit more. Or rather, Jack thinks, give him a chance to be an asshole. Better sooner than later though, he supposes.

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Alex is not really prepared for how attractive and quite frankly, fucking adorable, Rian's friend Jack is.
He's kind of dorky, and maybe his nose was destined for someone elses face, but with his patch of streaked blonde hair and legs that go on forever, Alex is kind of smitten and they've barely spoken to each other.

Surely, even if Jack doesn't like guys, Alex will be able to be friends with him. Surely the universe isn't going to fuck Alex over and make them sworn enemies or something.

He seems kind of shy, and that just makes Alex's almost immediate crush worse, because he loves making people happy, bringing them out of their shells and dragging them into crazy fun situations.

He gets a text from Rian, inviting him over for dinner and and of course Alex says yes, wants to meet the guy who's name makes Rian all moony-eyed, and of course, get to know Jack better. And convince them that they should let him live in their house, and that's he's neither a serial killer nor a serial toothpaste cap leaver-opener.

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A week later, and Jack's setting the table when Zack brings Alex home and he nearly drops the plate he's holding in surprise. He's not ready, he hasn't gone through his list of things to say again yet. It helps if he practices thing to say, to at least try and sound normal.

“Hey Jack”

“Hi, how are you?” So far, so good, even if he hasn't practised as much as he'd like. Behind Alex, Jack can see Zack giving him a thumbs up. He appreciates that they know how hard this is for him, he hard he's willing to try.

“Apart from the whole nearly deafening the entire class when I had the board volume set to high incident, i'm pretty good. What about you?”

Alex talks fast, and Jack doesn't quite understand. But that's okay, because Alex is asking about him now.

“I am good. We're having pizza.” He says, and Jack's giving himself a mental pat on the back right now, because he really, really struggles with conjunctions and he just used one. They’re difficult because he's got to think of two words, and then put them together. And if you can't remember one of the words, it's an instant failure. It feels good to know he's said something right.

The pizza is awesome, as Rian's generally tend to be – he buys the pre-made dough but then adds his own toppings, and well, if he doesn't end up as some hotshot in the music business, Jack will quite happily hire him as a chef.

He keeps out of the conversation mostly, just nodding and laughing at the right times, sipping at his drink in order to look busy, and make it less likely for Alex to want to ask him something.

Jack's out of luck though, when in a break in the chatter, Alex turns to him.

“So, Rian said you play guitar too, we should get together and jam sometime, what sort of music are you into?”

Jack freezes, mind blank. “I...yes.” He takes a deep breath, because he knows what kind of music he likes, he fucking knows. Blink and Green Day and New Found and hell, he's not opposed to the Backstreet Boys even.

“I like, I like the one..” Jack casts a helpless glance at Rian, pleading. Alex looks a little confused.

“Jack's a pop-punk kid through and through, always grounded for coming home late cause he'd been at shows” Rian says easily, and Jack breathes a little easier.

Alex's confused face clears a little, and he grins widely at Jack.

“Pop-punk like Blink? Or Green Day? If you say both i'll marry you, I love them like you wouldn't believe!” Alex says cheerily.

“I like them” Jack manages to get out, and Alex reaches across the table to offer a high-five and that, that Jack can do.

It's not perfect, but he hasn't completely ruined anything so far.

The minute Zack brings out the ice cream though, because they're children alright, and the idea of being able to eat as much ice cream as they want with whatever toppings they want it yet to wear off – Jack stops worrying.

“Zack, I love you!” He says excitedly, because Jack would eat ice cream until he exploded if he could, and Zack usually gets the low-fat kind, but tonight they've got proper Ben and Jerrys, triple chocolate brownie.

Jack's going to have sprinkles and strawberry syrup and marshmallows and all the good things.

Alex is also enthused about the ice cream, so that's a good sign. They could never have a room mate who didn't appreciate such a classy dessert.

“Oh my god you guys are awesome, you know you'll never be able to get rid of me now” Alex says brightly and Jack snorts, if only it was that easy.

Rian's put in charge of moving the ice cream from tub to bowls, and Zack manning the huge variety of toppings because, well, there may have been a time in which Jack used a third of a bottle of maple syrup in a single bowl. Zack's kind of like a second mother, always trying to steer Jack away from the copious amounts of junk food he prefers.

Jack lets Alex go before him, watches the lanky boy decide on marshmallows and chocolate chips.

“Just three Jack” Zack says when it's his turns and Jack pouts.

“But why?”

“Because if you have all of them then we'll run out sooner and you do not need that much sugar, no one does”

Jack pouts, but Zack just sticks his tongue out and fine, Jack'll have three. No good starting an argument in front of Alex.

He settles for his earlier decision of strawberry syrup and marshmallows, topped with colourful little star-shaped sprinkles.

After dessert, him and Alex end up in the living room, and Jack can hear clattering in the sink that implies either Zack or Rian are rinsing the dishes for the dishwasher later. The dicks he thinks, leaving him here with Alex.

He sits down on the couch and Alex sits on the end and Jack racks his brain for something to say that won't give him away.

Alex beats him to it though.

“So Jack, what's your major?”

Jack prefers it when people don't know about his condition beforehand, but right now he's kind of wishing Rian had at least said something.

“I go to high school” He says quietly.

“Oh,” Alex says, a note of surprise in his voice. “How old are you?”

Jack doesn't know. He can count though, if he holds out his fingers in front of him.

Alex snorts, “What, are you so old you've forgotten?”

Jack frowns. “No. I just, I. I.” The words are caught in his throat, I know how old I am, i'm nineteen. That's one less than twenty. I'm repeating a year. I'm not stupid.

He falls silent, and hangs his head, not wanting to see Alex's face.

“Are you alright?” Alex asks and Jack makes a weird of half-nod half shake of the head, because he doesn't know, is just waiting for Alex to declare him a fucking retard like Mike, leave and never come back.

“Rian, can you come in here” Alex calls, and Jack curls further into himself.

Jack hear footsteps, and then Rian's voice. “Yeah. What are two you doin-oh shit, Jack are you okay?”

Rian's kneeling before him then, resting warm palms on his knees.

“I didn't do anything, I swear!” Alex says indignantly, “I just asked how old he was and he like, freaked out”

“Would you mind giving Zack a hand in the kitchen? Rian asks, and Jack's thankful that Alex goes without a fight, without a snide comment.

“Hey now” Rian says, moving to sit beside him, slide an arm around Jack's shoulders.

“What happened?”

Jack tries to swallow around the lump in his throat. He's supposed to be working on coping better when things don't quite go the way he plans, but now he's failed at that too.

“Alex said, but I don't know.”

Rian sighs, holds him a little tighter.

“You're nineteen Jack, nineteen.”

“Nineteen.” Jack echoes, and it sounds so easy when Rian says it, and how could Jack not figure it out, not recall something so simple?

“Sorry. Not supposed to ruin dinner.”

“You haven't ruined anything, you never could. We might have to explain to Alex though, if you want to.”

Jack shakes his head, because the minute Alex finds out he'll stop being the cute boy with the gorgeous smile and funny laugh that seems like someone Jack could easily be friends with, he'll look at Jack differently and he doesn't want to ruin Rian's tentative friendship with him. But he also doesn't want Rian to have to come up with some excuse for his weird behaviour.

“You can.” He says eventually, “Going to bed. Please.”

Rian squeezes him again, “It'll be okay this time, i'm sure”

But that's what he said last time.

Once he's in his room and has locked the door behind him, Jack throws himself onto his bed and cries.

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Dinner in the Rian-Jack'n'Zack household had been going pretty well, and they had ice cream and so many toppings that Alex was prepared to move in right then and there, even if he had to sleep outside, or in his car, it'd be worth it. And Jack plays guitar, and they're pretty much carbon copies of each other in terms of music choices.

Alex has forgotten that the universe really, really likes to fuck him over.

He's not sure what happens really, one minute he's chatting with Jack, the next minute Jack is undeniably upset, and Alex panics, because he can't fathom what he's done wrong. He'd only asked how old the other boy was. Who freaks out about that?

When Rian comes back into the kitchen, announces that Jack's gone to bed, Alex is even more worried.

What the hell has he done?

Rian explains then, that Jack is a little different, a car accident leaving him with Aphasia, the Wikipedia definition of which, as Alex looks up after he gets home, is long and complex but it matches up with what Rian's told him, that Jack's ability to speak and read and write is all kinds of fucked up due to the trauma to the language part of his brain. Alex kind of has this thing, where once he knows about something, he's capable of spending hours and hours accumulating knowledge about that one thing and usually it's about space or the stars and their constellations, or the formation of the universe, but Alex finds himself staring into his computer screen until the clock in his room shows a heinously early hour and he still only has the smallest understanding of how Jack's mind might work.

When he'd asked Jack how old he was, Jack knew, but couldn't tell him. It's kind of heartbreaking, which isn't a word Alex would usually use to describe someone he barely knows, but his heart aches for Jack, because he can't imagine not being able to speak your mind, or even write it down, have every thought trapped inside your head.

He kind of feels like a jerk for joking around about Jack forgetting, even though he hadn't known then. Residual-jerkiness.

The hesitant tone Rian used as he'd explained is an obvious sign that he's had this conversation many a time, and apparently people are fucking assholes because Jack is clearly an awesome human who likes ice cream and things Alex likes, and it seems unlikely that someone as nice as Rian would have a potential murderer for a friend.

An apology is definitely in order.

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The next morning, Rian doesn't volunteer any information about how telling Alex had gone and Jack feels kind of like a child, running to his bedroom, hiding from the truth.

He doesn't want to ask though, and he turns the radio up in the car, because if Rian's not talking, Jack isn't either.

When Jack comes home from school, Alex is sprawled across Zack's favourite armchair, video game controller in hand. There's the thud of drums from upstairs again, and Jack's confused. Alex shouldn't be here.

“Rian explained everything.” Alex says gently, and this, this is it. Alex seems so nice that he's probably going to try and be all nice about how doesn't want to actually want to live with them.

“And like, I don't quite understand but I want you to know that I don't care. Well I do care, but it's not going to stop us from having fun, is it?”

Jack's eyes are so wide he's worried they might drop out of his skull.

“What?” He says, ever eloquent.

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The confused look on Jack's face is awful, because he was obviously expecting Alex to not like him any more, think he's a freak, and Alex is angry that anyone would ever even think that. Everyone deserves to be treated like a human being.

“I'm sorry I laughed at you, but I swear i'm not an asshole, I was just confused” Alex starts, “It was kind of unexpected, but I really am sorry”

Jack continues to stare him. “I'm not stupid” Jack says eventually, and Alex frowns.

“I don't think you're stupid, and anyone who ever told you that is a dick, okay, you're just Rian's friend Jack who likes ice cream to me” He says, before he straightens himself on the armchair, sets his game controller down, watches Jack's eyes flick around the room, almost like he's looking for what he wants to say.

“You don't care that sometimes, sometimes I can not, I can't, uhm, talk to you like normal?”

“If you can't find the words, then you can just point or draw, hell, i'll buy an etch-a-sketch, and if i'm not listening, you can punch me, okay?”

Jack laughs at that, a bright happy sound and it makes Alex smile, because despite his well deserved misgivings about Alex, Jack seems to understand that Alex isn't going to be like everyone else.

“Are you, will you, stay here, live with us?”

“If it's okay with you, i'd love to live with such ice cream connoisseurs”

Jack smiles, “Okay”

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After Alex leaves for the afternoon, Jack finds himself sitting at the kitchen table, tapping away at his Ipad at a 'learning game' recommended by his speech therapist. It's most definitely a kids game, but Jack's not bothered because it's actually kind of fun, hopping cartoon frogs across a raging river by making grammatically correct sentences, and hand-writing words.

He's amazed that Alex is okay with him being well, him. Alex doesn't seem to care, and whilst Jack's always been terrible with an etch-a-sketch, he really, really appreciates the sentiment. Maybe Rian's finally found someone who might not be a completely awful person.

It's entirely possible though, that once Alex moves in and gets to know him, that he'll get tired but Jack silently prays that he won't, because no ones ever given him a chance like this before.

He does have reassure Rian and Zack that he's okay with Alex, and he can tell they're surprised but happy all the same, and it makes Jack happy to know that they're happy that he's happy, and despite the short amount of time they've collectively known Alex, he seems to have brought more than his fair share of happiness to them.

Jack can't wait to hang out and jam with his potential new friend.