Airplanes

I really fucking hate him, I didn’t go to games, even after he had 5 dozen roses delivered to Dustin’s house making Dustin’s new flavor of the week feel really awkward. She was a weird rave freak anyway, and we both knew it. I didn’t step foot anywhere I knew he would be. Matt blamed the 9 loses in January on me, that I needed to stop making excuses for myself and go to games after the Olympic break.

We had a meal at Matt’s house just to start the break off. I knew he’d be there but here I was in a huge amount of trouble. Trying to hold everything inside so I wouldn’t cause any issues.

“Hey…” I heard a voice behind me, as I grabbed a beer from the cooler.

“Hi.”

“You still hate me.” I rolled my eyes at him. He was being insane, no I totally didn’t hate him, that oh it’s okay for him to do that.

“I moved 1800 miles for a man that fucks random puck sluts.” He breathed out.

“Come on Emily.” He looked like he was hurt, but I was hurt, I can hold a grudge like no other. “Please give me a shot. Give me a second chance. I didn’t think you were moving out here, I thought you were going to say never mind like you did the first few months , the six months that you made me wait before you decided you were going to come out here.”

“You knew how I feel about you-“

“Feel Jeff, how do you feel about me? Do you know how awkward and uncomfortable you’ve made me that I had to avoid going to my brothers games?”

“Give me a shot Emily!” Dwight and Jonathan looked back.

“He wanted a shot,” I laughed, forcing a smile.

“I fucked up Emily. I fucked up so badly that I could be losing the only person that I’ve ever loved in my entire life. That your brother’s wedding weekend, meeting you on that flight, almost fucking you on that airplane after getting drunk with you off of those strong drinks in the airport, learning about you… it was the best thing that ever happened to me, that you have made my life better. I only fucked up that once and honestly I couldn’t get hard, I called her Emily twice as she drove me home and I haven’t been out since, I swear to God I’ll make this up to you if you just give me a shot to make this up to you and I promise I’ll spend everyday trying to make it up to you.”

“I don’t trust you. No wonder my brother told me no hockey players ever.” His face flushed red and he wanted nothing to do with the words that were coming out of his mouth. “There was some random girl’s hands down your pants, someone was kissing you.” His eyes began to well with tears, something the Stanley Cup winning hockey player would never let anyone see. It wasn’t him, he was calm, cool and collected.

“Think about us over Olympic break Emily.”

“I’ve done enough thinking for a lifetime. I don’t want you near me in any manner.”

“Em, you don’t mean that please stop.”

“I hope you don’t even medal. “ The words hurt to say, I didn’t mean them, I never meant it. I hated the way that made me feel. I felt like a bad person here. I was the one being a bitch while he was trying at every level to make my heart feel better.

He went and won a gold medal and I went to Miami with Dustin. We partied and I didn’t even pay attention to hockey. I didn’t watch his beautiful face on the big screen at the hotel and Dustin made sure that even when I was drunk, I went home alone. I went into his hotel room, and I was in a swimsuit, on the beach tanning along side the pancake loving butthead. We went out to clubs and laughed about the

He had to head back for his training and I watched him win a gold medal. He was so happy on the ice.

I dialed a number that I wasn’t used too. “Emily?” I heard her answer. It was Drew’s girlfriend, and the only person currently with direct contact with Jeff.

“How is he?”

“Horrible. I don’t think he left his dorm unless it was for hockey.” I could hear her frown from halfway across the world. “Em, he needs you in his life. I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone need another person in their life as much as Jeff needs you Emily.” I felt the tears. They were hot and caused the lump in my throat.

“He hurt me Nicole. He broke my heart and threw it in the ocean. He made my life a living hell, he made me lied to my brother about what happened, hell I’m still lying to everyone I know besides you and Penner.”

“He told Drew and me, he told us what a fucking dumbass he was and he’s so guilty and upset. He’s sorry. He misses you, he wants you to live with him. Lindsey told me how in love you guys were after one weekend and he loves you now.”

“It’s not that easy, Nicole.” I chewed on my lip while petting Jerry.

“I got through it after Drew got accused of raping some girl after the Stanley Cup win, shit, I screamed at him for hours. I almost killed him, I wanted to murder him, there was no doubt about it but you now when you love someone you need them in your life. He needs you and you need him.”

“I know.”

“We fly home tomorrow the plane lands at ten am, the spare key is in the tree pot and he needs a happy face because all he’s seen is Drew’s for the past two weeks. I’ll see you soon love bug, I need to go, we’re about to eat. Drew says hello and ha at your American-ness.” I rolled my eyes at the d-man.

I heard the door unlock.

“Hi” I said, he dropped his bag, I walked up and kissed him, one of those romantic, movie worthy kisses, he broke it, smiling. “I missed you Emily Greene.” All of his tense and unsure thoughts escaped him. For the first time in almost two months the smile on his face was real and unashamed. He did miss me.

“I-I can’t “ And then all he saw was the back of my head running out of his house, doing what I have and always will do best; run.