Through the Cracks

Stan, Kyle, Kenny, Butters, Craig, and Clyde took their lunch trays to their table, but Butters didn't feel much like mini corn dogs and potato wedges. I know I'm hungry, but my tummy is in one big knot. After staring at his tray for a few minutes, he got up from the table to go to the bathroom.

"Aren't you going to eat your lunch?" Stan asked.

Craig was, as usual, unmoved. "After this morning, I didn't feel much like eating, either."

"I just don't feel so good, fellas." He noticed Kenny, whose plate was already empty. "Kenny, you can have some of my corn dogs if you want."

Kenny looked at Butters' full plate, then back at Butters. (Thanks, dude.) He didn't want to let on just how hungry he was, but this was his first real meal since lunch the day before. A can and a half of beer did not count as a meal. He nibbled at the corn dogs, thinking, Life can be a bitch when you're the sissy or the poor kid. We gotta stick together.

Turning a corner to get to the bathroom, Butters spotted Cartman near the drinking fountain, his lower half still mostly bare. "Hey Butters. Don't you feel like giving me a little somethin'-somethin'?" He motioned with one hand as if he were taking out a wad of money.

Butters beamed. "Well, sure, Eric!" He wrapped his arms around as much of Cartman as he could and rested his head on the larger boy's shoulder. A few nearby kids stopped in their tracks to stare at the two boys.

"That's not what I meant! Get the hell off." Cartman pried Butters from his coat. "I meant, would you like to take your money and put it here?" He pointed at the strap buried in his hip. Imitating his mother with some of her 'gentleman callers', Cartman faced the wall, braced himself with his hands, and spread his thick legs.

Cartman's posture spoke to Butters more clearly than words. "Uh-huh." His butt is all fluffy like whipped cream. "But, I already bought my lunch, and all I got left is some nickels and some pennies and maybe a dime." Butters dug into his pocket and came up with an assortment of coins.

Cartman rolled his eyes. "Why do you have to suck so hard? Fine, just slide them in." He nudged his hip towards Butters.

"Hmm." Carefully, one by one, Butters inserted the coins. It's like one of those rides at the grocery store. Maybe when I'm done, Eric will give me a piggyback ride. The idea of wrapping his arms around Cartman's neck and being carried away with him made Butters shiver with delight. With the beginnings of a coin collection inside the strap, Butters announced, "There ya go! That's all."

"Not much, but it's a start. Now we gotta go find Kahl."

"Wh-what for?"

Cartman walked backwards so he could face Butters, and explained in one breath: "Because I need you to tell Kahl that you screwed your uncle so that I'll win the bet and he'll have to fuck his uncle and I can put it on the Internet so everyone will laugh at him so much that he'll get a brain tumor—" Cartman took a much needed breath. "—and di-i-ie!"

The explanation was lost on Butters, who was following only the flash of rhinestones. Gee, I was lookin' forward to that ride. Maybe if I give him a little more... Neither boy noticed Principal Victoria until Cartman backed into her. He looked up and froze.

She tried to look at him without looking at all of him. "There you are, Eric. You will be spending your lunch and recess time in my office."

"What?" Cartman spat as she took him by the hand and led him away.

"Aww, please, Principal Victoria, let 'im stay," pleaded Butters. "I didn't get to ride him yet." His innocence again let him say things that would have gotten him grounded for sure if his parents were in earshot.

"Uffdah!" she gasped, simultaneously trying to get a more solid grip on Cartman, who was twisting his hand to free himself. "So this is what Mrs. Garrison was talking about." She noticed the coins squeezed in the strap. "This is the last thing the Stotch boy needs."

As they walked down the hall, Cartman continued his loud, wiggly protest. "This is bullcrap! Rrrgh… Garrison perved on us, everyone in class saw me already… nnngh… I've only got 48 cents, and no uncle story!"

Butters watched Cartman until Principal Victoria shut the door behind them. With Cartman out of view, Butters' attention returned to the clenching in his stomach, and he scooted to the bathroom.

In the cafeteria, Kenny was beginning to wonder what had become of Butters, and how much of Butters' lunch it was acceptable to eat. Before he could ask either question, Clyde seemed to become aware of the empty seat. "Is he coming back?"

Stan and Kyle looked at the seat, around the cafeteria, then at Clyde. "I dunno, dude," Stan said with a shrug. "He said he was going to the bathroom."

"That was forever ago," Kyle answered.

Images of Butters being coerced by his uncle into a creepy van from the early 1980s flashed through Kenny's mind. I gotta look for him. Kenny stood. (I gotta… take a shit,) he announced before he left the table.

"If Butters has been in the bathroom all this time, you should probably hold it," Craig warned, but Kenny ignored him. By now, Kenny was picturing Butters' uncle promising candy in the back of the 1980s van. Kenny kept his cool until he was around the corner and out of his friends' sight. He shot down the hall to the bathroom and burst through the blue door.

Finding Butters was that easy. The boy was standing at the urinal, pants around his ankles, shirt pulled up to his chest. He took no notice of Kenny and appeared to be in his own world, giving his wiener a pep talk. "Aww, you can do it. I know you got it in you." There was silence for a second, then the sound of Butters relieving himself. "That's right, little man. Let it all out."

Kenny didn't dare move. He was glad he'd found Butters, but the sight of the boy standing there so exposed and so naïve to everything going on around him was disturbing in a new way. Kenny felt like running away, but he didn't want to startle Butters, either. Oh, Butters. Pissing like that is just asking for it. Well, not 'asking for it', but it's gonna get him in more trouble.

Kenny was still frozen when Butters turned his eyes to the mirror and spotted him. "Hi, Kenny!"

(Hey. You know, you…) Much as Kenny wanted to suggest that Butters adopt a different, more covered up bathroom behavior, he couldn't bring himself to say it. (…You were cool to let me have some of your corn dogs.)

"No problem!" said Butters, who finished and pulled his pants up. Kenny pretended not to notice the training pants patterned with Hello Kitty mid-skip. But he did notice them, adding to the horror at what a grown man had done to him. Butters was washing his hands now, and again looked at Kenny in the mirror. It was Butters' turn to sound concerned. "What's wrong? You look like you seen a ghost."

(No. Nothing.) Kenny pulled his hood tight. Ugh. I sound like a tool. Why can I only sound cool when I'm playing superheroes? (I just wanted to see how you were doing, after the whole thing with Garrison and Cartman.)

Butters thought about this as he dried his hands. "Well, I didn't like it when Mrs. Garrison made me p-pull my pants down in front of everybody. But you gotta look on the bright side. There's always something crazy happening around here, and pretty soon nobody will even remember."

At first, Kenny was glad that Butters was not letting the intrusion bother him. Wait. Maybe it should bother him. I don't want him feeling bad, but adults will keep hurting him over and over. Kenny took a deep breath. (But Mrs. Garrison's our teacher. That's messed up!)

"She musta had a good reason."

(There's no good reason to pants a kid in front of the class!)

"But I had it comin', 'cos I have a dirty mouth."

(You have a dirty mouth? That fucking bitch put her hands on you, and you have a dirty mouth?) Butters covered his mouth with his hands, as if that would stop Kenny's stream of obscenities.

"Kenny, you shouldn't say stuff like that."

(Somebody needs to. What matters most is knowing that it wasn't your fault.)

Butters opened his eyes wide. "You sound just like this king I met last night."

(Uh… this 'king' didn't touch you anywhere, did he?)

"No way! I thought he was scary at first, but not when I got to know him."

(And are you sure this wasn't a dream?)

"It wasn't no dream. He came and sat on my window. His name was King Mysterion."

(King Mysterion?)

"Yeah. I was real worried about my uncle coming to visit, but now I feel alright. It's nice to have a king looking out for you to make sure nothin' bad happens." The bell rang. Lunch period was over. "We better get goin'. I wanna ask Eric when he's gonna give me my piggyback ride." Butters skipped back to class, just as merrily as Hello Kitty herself.

(What just happened? And since when does that fat pig give out piggyback rides?) Kenny wondered. (Well, if "King" Mysterion helps Butters stand up for himself, I can live with that.) He pushed the bathroom door open and joined the kids making their way back to class.