Let's Waste Time

I stumbled back into Chris’s chest.

“We need to talk,” he said from behind me.

“Is this guy bothering you, Marley?” Trent asked.

“No, he’s okay,” I assured him. I turned around to face Chris, but he wasn’t looking at me. And he didn’t look like the kind soft Hufflepuff of a man I’d woken up with that morning. Instead, his blue eyes were cold and sharp like ice. His expression was stern and a little bit frightening. I’d never seen him look so angry before. “Can we talk about this later?” I asked him. His eyes turned back to me and softened.

“No, I think we should talk about it now,” he told me.

“Don’t tell me you’re still sleeping with this guy,” Trent said. Chris looked back up. His eyes flashed dangerously again.

“Don’t tell me you think what you’re doing is actually okay. You cheat on your wife, groomed an innocent girl to be your perfect side-piece. And you think that’s okay?”

“I didn’t groom her. She was an adult when we got together. Perfectly capable of making her own choices.”

“How old were you?” he asked me.

“Um…,” I started. “Eighteen.”

“Eighteen. You were a kid. He groomed you, Marley. Everything he fucking says and does is to manipulate you.”

“I think you need to go home and mind your own fucking business,” Trent said, getting a little closer. Chris’s fingers tightened around my elbow.

“If you really loved her, you would have divorced your wife a long time ago.”

“I can’t do that yet. She knows that. We’ve talked about it.”

“No, you built a lie to manipulate her into staying with you. If your wife was actually sick, you’re an even bigger asshole than I thought you were.”

“And what about you? You’re the one fucking around with her, aren’t you?”

“Marley and I are the same age,” he pointed out. “I’ve never asked her to do anything she didn’t want to do. I knew what you were doing this whole fucking time. But I knew she wouldn’t listen if I pointed it out. So I was hoping she’d figure it out on her own.”

“Then why are you here?”

“Because I’m tired of seeing you hurt her. She deserves better than you.”

“What the hell makes you think you can make that choice for her?” I was speechless, watching them go back and forth. Chris still had his hand around my elbow, and Trent kept throwing his hands up like he couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“I’m not making any choices for her,” Chris said. “That’s the difference between you and me. I’m just here to point out the obvious.”

“And what exactly is so fucking obvious to you?” Trent snapped. Chris looked down at me. His expression went soft again.

“He’s lying to you, Marley. He groomed you because you were a young teenage girl fresh out of high school, and that made you an easy target. He’s taken advantage of you and your past trauma to build you into his perfect side-piece. His wife isn’t sick. She never has been. There was never going to be a divorce. They’re still together. He just likes sleeping around behind her back. And I’m going to guess you aren’t his first, and you’re probably not the only one. Why do you think he never showed up that night? It wasn’t a delayed flight. It was another woman.” I shook my head softly.

“Why are you doing this? What about Heidi?” I wondered.

“Heidi and I broke up a long time ago, Marley.”

“Why?”

“Because I realized I was in love with you.”

I took a step back, and he let my arm go. Maybe I really was stupid and young and naïve. I should have seen it. I thought it was just me. Of course the feeling was mutual. Of course it wasn’t because he cared about me as a friend. He loved me.

He pinched his lips shut and turned back to Trent. “Unlike you, I knew it was wrong to continue seeing both of them. I was honest with them both from the start. Heidi knew about Marley, and Marley knew about Heidi. And as soon as I realized I wanted to be with Marley, I came clean and broke things off with my girlfriend. I was hoping Marley would do the same. But you’ve really got your claws in her deep. She doesn’t deserve to be the other woman. Not for anyone. She deserves to be the only woman.”

“And you think you’re better for her than I am?” Trent asked. Chris nodded sharply.

“Without a fucking doubt. And I think it’s pretty obvious that I love her a hell of a lot more than you do.” Trent smiled as if he’d just won the fight. Then his eyebrows rose.

“But does she love you more than she loves me?”

They both had a stare down for a moment before looking at me. I took another step back. This was definitely not part of my plan. And I never thought in a million years I’d someday be standing on a sidewalk in a pretty dress out front of an idyllic café watching two grown men argue over me. But maybe it was better this way. Rip the bandaid off, so to speak.

I took a deep breath and turned to Trent.

“He’s right,” I started. “If you really loved me, you would have ended things with Sasha. I really don’t—I don’t think she’s sick. I don’t think she ever has been. And I definitely don’t think she knows you see other women. More than just me.” He began to argue, but I put my hands up to stop him. “Even if she is sick and you’re telling the truth, I don’t want to spend the rest of my life waiting around for the right moment. I’ve spent years loving you. I waited. And I can’t do it anymore. So I’m going to take this final step for you.”

“What step is that?” he asked in disbelief.

“I’m going to end it.” I turned back to Chris. “And Chris—I honestly don’t know what to say to you. I’m a little shocked, actually. We made a lot of rules, and we broke every single one of them. I know that—I love you too. And I think I have for a long time. But I’m not sure if I’m ready to deal with that just yet. I’ve just spent a lot of time over the last few months trying to figure out how to deal with both of you. And which choice was the right one. I think maybe it isn’t about choosing one or the other—maybe it’s just that I have to choose neither of you.” I turned back to Trent.

“Go home to your wife. Stop with all the lying. Take care of your kids and be a good husband to her. She deserves better. I loved you, I cared about you, but you’d already made a choice when you married her, and I shouldn’t have given in. I should have just recognized that it was wrong—even if you really are getting divorced. It’s been years, Trent. I think enough is enough.” I turned back to Chris again.

“I do—love you, I mean,” I told him. “I just think that maybe we started off on the wrong foot. And I don’t want to keep building relationships off of secrets and guilt. I just kind of want to take some time to figure my life out before I’m ready for another relationship. These past few weeks have been amazing. And I want to keep having that with you. But I just—I need to learn how to take care of myself before I try again. Okay? Just—please—both of you—respect me and let me have some space.”

I nodded because I didn’t really know how else to say it. I couldn’t look at either of them. I didn’t want to see any anger or pain. So I just turned and ran in the opposite direction.