Sweater Weather (or Whatever)

He hadn’t realized where he had been until the room began to empty. William looked down at the stick-like trees he had taken to drawing some time ago and cursed himself. Half the lecture devoted to a graphite forest. He tossed his notebook into his backpack and nodded at his professor as he left, who nodded back curtly in response. He noticed, William thought. And he thinks I’m a dick.

He shoved his hands into his pockets and told himself to breath. The class – History Since 1860 Through Biography – was just a core class; he could take it over no problem. No one would give him shit for it. Still, that wasn’t the way he did things; in high school, he never got lower than an A, and then freshmen year introduced him to Bs. And last year…

Well. His third year had to be better.

“Hey,” a voice came from behind him and a hand clapped his back. William jumped. “You ready for this midterm Tuesday?”

It was Gabe. All William knew about him was that he was a senior with a house just a block off campus. That and that he felt attendance to be very optional.

“I mean – “ William shrugged, laughing nervously. Come to think of it, had Gabe even come to class?

Gabe smiled back, unfazed. “Right? Well. I was just going to ask, if you wanted help studying. Like, whenever. You going home this weekend?”

“No. I mean, I’m staying here. I-I’m on duty in McShain tonight and…” William tried to remember his schedule, but he’d written it down in his room and chosen to forget.

“Well,” Gabe began, giving him another crooked smile. He took a piece of paper from his pocket and began to write. “How about I give you my number? And you can call me when you want help. Cool?”

“Yea, man,” William responded, taking the receipt from Gabe. G-A-B-E, he’d written it in capital letters above his number, as if it were of high importance. “Thanks; I’ll uhm, I’ll call you later then.”

“Whenever you want,” Gabe said, and walked away nonchalantly.

William was still smirking when he found Ryan waiting for him outside the building. As he came toward him, Ryan crushed the cigarette out on the heel of his boot.

“So, tonight. Are you coming out?”

“Ryan, it’s a Tuesday.”

“So?” Ryan scoffed at him, completely unsurprised by William’s response. “Break starts Thursday. Like, most people are leaving tomorrow afternoon. What time’s your earliest class tomorrow?”

“Ten, but – “

“See?” Ryan continued, throwing his hands up. “Plenty of time to sleep. Come out, leave by one. Asleep by one-thirty. Nap after class. So, tonight. I’m feeling whiskey.”

William shook his head and laughed. “I’ll make the run for you, but I really can’t. I’ve got a midterm coming up, and I’m on duty tonight anyway.”

Ryan grimaced in response. “That’s disgusting. You need to stop being on duty. Just like, get fired or something. Can they do that?”

“Ryan – “

“I know, I know… Alright. I’ll come visit you then”

“Alright. Well – a friend might be coming over. I mean, this guy from my history class.”

Ryan put both his hands up in front of him, mouth open. “Shut up, I’m not ruining a date. Is it one of your residents? Tell me you’re fucking a resident.” He wiggled his eyebrows and bit his lip to keep from chuckling. William rolled his eyes.

“Ryan I’m not – I don’t – no. It’s just this guy from my history class. We’re going to study. He told me to call him when he should come over, so I haven’t committed to anything, y’know?”

“Okay, great. I’ll come over after so you can tell me about your first time,” Ryan replied, laughing openly.William sighed, shaking his head and fingering the paper in his pocket. “But seriously, can we please get something to eat? I want one last stomach ache before I go home.”

That night, William tacked the number to his cork board, wondering when he should call. Should he wait until after his first rounds? Or later in the night so he wouldn’t have to leave Gabe alone in the room? That could be rude, though – maybe he should wait until tomorrow? William looked at his notebooks, lying open on his desk just as they had been for an hour or more, no information sticking. Finally, he decided to wait until at least after six to make any sort of calls. He would judge the verdict once he had Gabe on the line.

It wasn’t that he had any feelings for Gabe – he’d never had any romantic feelings for guys before, and why should it start now? Ryan was always trying to get William to “find himself” ever since they met and Ryan drunkenly told William he was the most beautiful tree he’d ever seen. Socialization just tended to be a little difficult for him now, especially with new people. The university wasn’t too big, but there was still a large group of people he didn’t know, and with graduation somewhere on the horizon, why should he start making new friends?

A knock brought William back, and he found one of his residents on the other side; a boy with dark hair and red glasses called Brendon. “What’s up, Bren?”

He smiled. “Adam wanted to see if you wanted to come eat with us – well, us and the other guys. We’re going in like an hour – are you hungry?”

“Y’know, what is it with you guys all wanting to eat together all the time?” William leaned against the door frame and gave him a crooked smile. “Like, you’re in a pack. How many new people have you met off this floor, Brendon?”

Brendon furrowed his brow and looked off. “Enough. We get along well!” He said. Brendon shrugged, still smiling. “I’ll knock when we’re leaving. You can be our alpha wolf.”

“Sound good,” he said with a laugh and closed the door as Brendon walked away.

William stretched as he looked around his room; it was surprisingly tidy considering how chaotic he felt. The bed wasn’t made, but that was natural. He considered going back to his books before eating but decided against it. The tightness in his chest wasn’t worth it. Just as he began to straighten out his sheets, the phone rang.

He knew Gabe had no way of contacting him, but still, his heart made itself known to him. William didn’t hesitate. “Hello?”

“Billll,” the voice on the other end whined. Who else. “Let’s go to the liquor store, yea?”

“I can’t right now, man. I’m eating with my floor soon – “

“I’m coming over,” Ryan replied, and the line went dead quickly.

Ten minutes later, Ryan was at his door. As soon as William opened it, Ryan was inside, plopped down in William’s desk chair before he could even get a word out. “So when’s dinner?”

“Dunno. They said in an hour at – “

“Who said?”

William’s lips curled; he’d never seen Ryan so interested in a meal before. “One of my residents… Why?”

Ryan shrugged, shook his head and pulled off his gloves. “Just making conversation. How’s the boyfriend?”

William sighed, exasperated. “Ryan. We’re just studying. You know – “

“I know, I know,” Ryan cut him off as he rolled his eyes and made air quotes around his words. “You’re not.”

While he wanted to be frustrated, he smiled. He remembered the first conversation they had, when Ryan told William he was beautiful. Only slightly less drunk, he kept telling Ryan, “You’re nice, but I’m not – “ or, “I’m flattered, but I’m not – “ and never finishing his sentence. Ryan continued to challenge him, and William had never really been able to word what he wasn’t. They knew, of course. Or at least, Ryan knew.

“So like, who is this guy, anyway? Is he one of your residents?” Ryan continued. William could tell Ryan was chewing the inside of his cheek – a nervous tick Ryan didn’t think was noticeable.

“No, it isn’t. It’s just this guy in my history class. No big deal. His name’s Gabe.”

Ryan smiled and bit his lip again. “He’s a senior, right? Gabe Saporta? Oh, Bill.”

“What?”

“Oh, Bill.” Ryan covered his mouth but composed himself quickly. “I know him, is all. That’s where I’m going tonight, actually. You’re sure you can’t come?”

William frowned, crossed his arms over his chest as he leaned against his door. “You know I can’t. Why should I want to? I don’t know this guy, Ry. And I’m not particularly interested in knowing him either.”

Ryan squinted his eyes and stared at William for a second, as if judging his statement until he’d made up his mind. “I know him. He’s a good guy – he’s fun, and he’s nice, and he’s…I don’t know, cool? But not like, cool kids cool, y’know? Just like, calm-cool. Follow?”

He didn’t, but William nodded, not making eye contact with Ryan.

“Well, he’s going to help me study. Or we’re going to study together. I’m not sure about what’s going on.”

“Call him now!” Ryan exclaimed, and quickly tucked his legs beneath him. “Call him right now. Forget dinner, I’ll eat with your floor. Just like, tell him you’re hungry and – “

“Ryan, I – “

“Alright, so maybe not,” Ryan. “We’ll all eat then. But then you should call him and have him come over. And y’know, study.” Ryan wiggled his eyebrows again, but William just laughed this time.

“Alright, fine, if you say so…” William shrugged, and Ryan beamed back at him in response. There was no need for such excitement, not that William could tell, but he wasn’t about to interrogate his friend on his joy. “Alright. I’m going to check on Adam and – “

“I’ll come,” Ryan said. He rose automatically, cracked his knuckles and made his way for the door. “I don’t think I’ve met your residents yet anyway.”

“Yea, well I’ll make sure to announce your arrival to them,” William joked, smiling slyly. He ignored Ryan as he rolled his eyes.

In the hallway, Brendon stood pounding on his door just two rooms away. “Adam, I swear to God if you don’t let me in – “

“Hey!” William put on his RA voice, and immediately captured Brendon’s attention. “What’s with the raucous?”

Brendon turned and huffed. “I left my key in the room and Adam won’t let me in.”

“Sisky!”

As soon as his name was called, Adam opened the door and entered the hallway, both keys in hand. “Hey, Bill. Erh. Sorry.” Brendon snatched his key from him, but smiled.

“Call him now,” Ryan shout-whispered to William, grabbing at his sleeve. He furrowed his brow and cocked his head in response as Ryan continued. “I’ll take the little ones to dinner. Call him before he has people over. Trust me.” Ryan marked an X over his chest quickly before the other two boys meet them, and William knowed exactly why once they were all together.

“Who’s your friend, Bill?” Adam asked, nodding at Ryan.

“Oh, guys this is Ryan. Ryan, Adam and Brendon.” Ryan quickly raises his eyebrows at both boys in response, and his eyes caught Brendon’s briefly. The latter smiled back.

“I’ll meet you guys over there okay? I’ve got a phone call to make.” As they left, Ryan mouthed a Thank you to William, who chuckled.

Once inside, he grabbed his phone and receipt and pressed the numbers gingerly, as if afraid to startle them. Once the phone had begun, his thoughts got going. I should hang up I should hang up don’t pick up don’t pick up don’t pick up no no please pick up please pick up what’s my number what’s my number why isn’t he picking up pick up pick up no no don’t don’t pick up –

“Hello?”

“Uh – “ William coughed on his end, completely forgetting how phone conversations went. This was a normal occurrence, of course.

“Uhm, hello?”

“Hey,” William responded once he had stopped sputtering. “Uhm. Hey. Gabe?”

“Yea? Who is this?”

“It’s uhm, me. It’s William. From history?”

“Yea, hey! I didn’t think you were gonna call.”

Shit shit you weren’t supposed to call now he thinks – “Yea well, I was just looking over the notes and… well, shit.”

Both boys laughed, and a little of the tension broke. “Well, you started, that’s cool. I haven’t opened my note book. Where’re you living? You said McShain right?”

“Mm-hm.”

“Alright cool. I’m gonna come over soon, is that alright? I’ll see how I can help you.”

“Great, thanks,” William responded before making a connection. “Say… Were you in class today? Do you have the notes? I missed a couple.”

“Well uh, funny story…” Gabe laughed, his words jumbled in his throat. William smirked.

“Right, I thought so. Come over whenever and I’ll give you the notes you missed.”

“Ah, thanks man. See you soon,” Gabe replied, and the line went dead.

William considered trying his notes again, at least organizing them in some cohesive manner, but thought better of it, and went back to making his bed.

“So, was it everything you dreamed and more?”

“Ryan – “

“I know, I know.”

Ryan sat across from William in the small, darkened smoothie bar (it wasn’t dark for ambiance – a few lights had gone out since classes started two months ago and no one had bothered to look into fixing them apparently), Ryan drank some caffeinated smoothie and William drank nothing. He had one more class until he was done for the long weekend. The only way he could have been happier was if he didn’t have this midterm looming over his head.

“But really, how was it? What do you think of him?” Ryan sipped his drink, checking his phone for the fifth time in ten minutes.

“It was fine,” William replied smoothly. “I gave him some notes and that was it. We talked a little. Really, nothing at all. He didn’t stay long – you were at his house weren’t you?”

“Yea,” Ryan responds as his lips curled slowly. “I brought your floor out too.”

“Oh, Christ Ryan,” William muttered. He covered his face with his hands, rubbing his eyes. “I thought Spencer was going to die this morning; he told me he had the flu. You know he’s never drank before?”

“Yea well, sorry.”

William shook his head, checking the time again. Ten more minutes, and then fifty more, and he would be done. “So you enjoyed your dinner date?”

Ryan froze, only his eyes moving to find William’s face. “I don’t know what you mean. I ate with your floor. No big deal, right?” William chuckled in response. He knew Ryan wasn’t outright with his feelings, but shit, he was awful at being sneaky. “Shit Bill, is this what it feels like? It’s awful.”

“Oh, no, this isn’t what it’s like, because I’m not secretly invested in anyone.” William laughed as Ryan narrowed his eyes and swatted at him, hissing that someone would hear him. “Y’know I could help, if you’d just – “

“No thanks,” Ryan responded coyly, looking out the window to the quad. “Listen, I’ve got to go. Train to catch. Will you call me though, really? Like, if you need anything,” Ryan added, eyes changing. “Like if it gets quiet or whatever, call me. Or y’know, if you find out you are—“

“Ryan – “

“Bill?”

William sighed, smirking back at Ryan. He appreciated his help, he really did. “I’ll call you if anything happens; or doesn’t. Have fun at home, man. And uh, don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

“Are you kidding?” Ryan turned as he walked out the door. “I’m going to do everything you wouldn’t do!”