Status: Active
Never on My Lips
oo2.
Janie loved toying with the zippers on my jackets. It was a consistent habit of hers while I was driving. After the first few weeks of noticing this action, I had gotten used to it and learned to ignore it completely. She was like a child, and her innocence drew me in.
I pulled into the first parking spot I could find, and almost instantly, Janie pulled away. This was how it was going to be for the rest of the day, and whether we liked it or not, it was going to continue that way until we felt like we could tell people about… the way we were.
We had reputations to uphold. And while we were the head strong type of girls (at least, I was), neither of us could fathom the changes we’d have to face if we came out—not just to the school, but to our parents, to ourselves, to everyone. We just couldn’t risk the change.
“I’ll see you later, okay?” I slipped to Janie before she exited my car. She nodded with a small smile.
“Homework at my place tonight?”
I agreed before watching her run up to her other friends.
A somber sigh slipped passed my lips. Relationships shouldn’t put such a stress on my shoulders. We’re so young, and yet we’re hiding the biggest aspect of who we are from… everyone. By now, I couldn’t tell if I had just grown used to the feeling or numb to the anxiety.
The random gushes of students rushing passed my car never surprised me. At this point, I just needed a few minutes in my car every morning to let some things about the day set in: what I was going to do in between classes, who I needed to see, if I needed to worry about my lunch, and, on the off chance, if I got to see Janie today. This was the norm.
The hordes of students today were normal. The stranger wandering in front of my car was not.
He was obviously new. No one at this school bothered to stand and stare at the building anymore. It was old, and we all knew it inside and out. He turned his head just barely enough for me to see his side profile, and suddenly it all dawned on me.
Brendon Urie had come back.
And while I wasn’t shocked at first, I was pretty sure I had a visual reaction that was somewhat obnoxious. I had to duck down to the side to make sure he didn’t see me. Only bad things could come from this, and I was nowhere near prepared to figure out what they were or how I was going to handle them.
This was going to have to wait.
**
I rushed to my first class, sitting in the first seat I could find. My focus was to just get through the day, and pray that I could have a nice quiet study session with my girlfriend. That was truly all I wanted to happen today.
“Class, we have a new student.” My French teacher stood at the front of the class. “He’s not here yet; he should be on his way back from the principal’s office, in fact—“
On cue, the door swung open, and I could not have been more unprepared.
“Everyone, please welcome Brendon Urie.”
Brendon flashed a small smile followed by a gentle wave of his right hand while the left gripped onto the strap of his backpack. His eyes glazed right over me to the wall at the back of the room.
“Now, I know the first day can be nerve-wrecking, but I want you to know that everyone here is more than willing to show you around.”
He shook his head. “I was here for part of my freshman year, so I hope the school hasn’t changed much. And if I do need help, I can always find a familiar face.”
Damn those eyes of his. It wasn’t as if he didn’t have looks, no, those looks of his were hauntingly mesmerizing. It wasn’t fair that a face like that could harbor so many memories that I just needed to let go as soon as possible.
Forgetting things about Brendon would be much easier if those fucking eyes didn’t look directly at me.
My face burned a deep shade of red, and suddenly, I couldn’t even attempt to conjugate the simplest verb all class period. Things are just about to get interesting for me, and something's telling me that it's not going to end well.
I pulled into the first parking spot I could find, and almost instantly, Janie pulled away. This was how it was going to be for the rest of the day, and whether we liked it or not, it was going to continue that way until we felt like we could tell people about… the way we were.
We had reputations to uphold. And while we were the head strong type of girls (at least, I was), neither of us could fathom the changes we’d have to face if we came out—not just to the school, but to our parents, to ourselves, to everyone. We just couldn’t risk the change.
“I’ll see you later, okay?” I slipped to Janie before she exited my car. She nodded with a small smile.
“Homework at my place tonight?”
I agreed before watching her run up to her other friends.
A somber sigh slipped passed my lips. Relationships shouldn’t put such a stress on my shoulders. We’re so young, and yet we’re hiding the biggest aspect of who we are from… everyone. By now, I couldn’t tell if I had just grown used to the feeling or numb to the anxiety.
The random gushes of students rushing passed my car never surprised me. At this point, I just needed a few minutes in my car every morning to let some things about the day set in: what I was going to do in between classes, who I needed to see, if I needed to worry about my lunch, and, on the off chance, if I got to see Janie today. This was the norm.
The hordes of students today were normal. The stranger wandering in front of my car was not.
He was obviously new. No one at this school bothered to stand and stare at the building anymore. It was old, and we all knew it inside and out. He turned his head just barely enough for me to see his side profile, and suddenly it all dawned on me.
Brendon Urie had come back.
And while I wasn’t shocked at first, I was pretty sure I had a visual reaction that was somewhat obnoxious. I had to duck down to the side to make sure he didn’t see me. Only bad things could come from this, and I was nowhere near prepared to figure out what they were or how I was going to handle them.
This was going to have to wait.
**
I rushed to my first class, sitting in the first seat I could find. My focus was to just get through the day, and pray that I could have a nice quiet study session with my girlfriend. That was truly all I wanted to happen today.
“Class, we have a new student.” My French teacher stood at the front of the class. “He’s not here yet; he should be on his way back from the principal’s office, in fact—“
On cue, the door swung open, and I could not have been more unprepared.
“Everyone, please welcome Brendon Urie.”
Brendon flashed a small smile followed by a gentle wave of his right hand while the left gripped onto the strap of his backpack. His eyes glazed right over me to the wall at the back of the room.
“Now, I know the first day can be nerve-wrecking, but I want you to know that everyone here is more than willing to show you around.”
He shook his head. “I was here for part of my freshman year, so I hope the school hasn’t changed much. And if I do need help, I can always find a familiar face.”
Damn those eyes of his. It wasn’t as if he didn’t have looks, no, those looks of his were hauntingly mesmerizing. It wasn’t fair that a face like that could harbor so many memories that I just needed to let go as soon as possible.
Forgetting things about Brendon would be much easier if those fucking eyes didn’t look directly at me.
My face burned a deep shade of red, and suddenly, I couldn’t even attempt to conjugate the simplest verb all class period. Things are just about to get interesting for me, and something's telling me that it's not going to end well.