So Now, Run

I turned around to my left, and who else but Nick was sitting at a small table right inside the door. I was in pure shock to say the least. Jen looked at me with a perplexed look. I just pat her arm with a look that said I would explain later. She nodded reluctantly, and took her place in line, telling me she’d get my order.

I stepped away from her, and joined Nick on the other side of the table he was sitting at. “Oh my god Nick! How the hell are you? I had no idea I’d be seeing you this soon!”

“Ha me either! It’s so great to see you!”

“I uh, don’t mean to be rude, but uh, why are you here? I mean, don’t you live in Tempe?”

“Nah, it’s not rude at all. I actually live around here. Have for the last few years. The band, we uh, all live around the Tempe area…some a little further than others, like myself. Ha, but uh, yeah. This is actually my favorite coffee shop. I come here almost every morning and have for the last three or so years.”

“You’re shitting me right now.”

He furrowed his brows and looked side to side, “Uh…no. I don’t think so? I’m being totally serious.”

“I mean, I live just three doors down from this coffee shop and come here all the time and have since my freshman year and I’ve never seen you in here.”

“Oh, well uh, I guess it was fate’s way of telling us to wait until this weekend to meet up, though as amazing as this weekend was, I don’t understand why we would have to wait this long. I wish it was sooner…”

God I forgot how charming he could be.

I felt the blush creep across the back of my neck and make its way to my cheeks as I bit my lip and quietly chuckled at his statement, in complete agreement with him.

Our moment was interrupted by Jen coming up to our table with both our coffees. She sipped from hers as she handed me my drink, and casually asked, “So uh Char, you gonna introduce me to your friend?”

If my blush wasn’t noticeable before, it was deepened by her question, slightly nervous at her response to realizing that Nick was sitting in front of me.

“Jen, this is my friend Nick that I met this weekend. Nick, this is my roommate Jen.”

Jen began to extend her free hand towards Nick until she realized the sheepish look on my face, and realization crossed her features as she discovered that this was the Nick I went on a date with this weekend. Once hers and Nick’s hands connected in a handshake, she gave him quite the mischievous grin as she greeted him. “Ah! Nick! I’ve heard oh so much about you! It’s so nice to meet you! Just uh, don’t be bashful about keeping the ride open all night alright?” She winked at him and nudged me a bit hoping I would catch on to her less than subtle innuendo.

I rolled my eyes at her as Nick looked back and forth between me and Jen with a confused expression. “I uh, okay?....”

Wanting to diffuse this awkward situation, I quickly jumped in, “Don’t worry about it Nick. It was uh, great seeing you and I hope we can hang out again soon. I need to head to class actually so I’ll catch you later. Jen, let’s go.” I glared at her as I said her name and grabbed her elbow and dragged her out of the coffee shop behind me. She looked back over her shoulder and waved to Nick as we were leaving the coffee shop.

As soon as we got outside and the door had closed, Jen opened her big mouth. “Hot damn he is fine! Dude! You never told me your boy Nick was such a babe! If you don’t jump on it I definitely will.”

I stared at her incredulously. “Oh my god. I can’t believe you! Could you be anymore crude?! What the hell? What has gotten into you?”

“Well obviously he had no idea what I was talking about, but you certainly did. I mean, c’mon. I was just tryin to help a sister out. Help my girl get some game!”

“Ugh, thanks but it’s really not needed. My ‘game’ is just fine. Pretty sure I got a date with him without your help and crude remarks. God, you really are just like John.”

As soon as the words left my mouth I instantly regretted it. That was a low blow and I knew it. I didn’t mean it. I mean, she does take after him in terms of her crude remarks and the mouth she’s gained from him. Granted I can’t say anything because I’m just as bad but still. She’s not a douche like he turned out to be. Comparing her to John like that was the ultimate insult and I’m afraid I may have just severely damaged my one solid friendship in my life over some guy.

Jen’s expression became blank, and I could tell she was trying to hold back tears. She just nodded her head a little and meekly spoke. “Oh, I’m sorry to interfere. I didn’t realize I was being such a hindrance and was acting like a total douche. My apologies.” With that, she gave a brief bow before turning to head towards the bus stop. “I need to head to work. I’ll see you later.”

God, now I feel even worse than before. I groaned. “Jen please wait. That was a low blow and I know it. I’m sorry. Can we please talk about this?”

“You’re gonna be late for class and I can’t be late for work. I’ll see you later.”

She didn’t even turn around and got on the bus as it pulled up. She didn’t even acknowledge me. Barely. Not that I didn’t deserve it though, but fuck. Would I ever get anything right? It’s like I’m never able to have any constant or stable relationship with anyone. When I had such a strong bond with Jenay, I was in the midst of strained and estranged relationships with my brother and friends from home. I came home and began re-establishing some of those relationships, with the not so much of a sacrifice lack of relationship with John. No loss there, but just an annoyance that I have to be around him and we can’t stand to be in the same room. Wonderful. I meet Nick and establish an amazing bond, and it begins to put a bit of strain on my newly refreshed relationship with Gare and Pat. Now it’s starting to affect my relationship with Jenay. Can I not have healthy relationships in all areas of my life for once? I’m so sick of dealing with all of this shit.

***

I had gone to my classes for the day and was walking to one of the small diners on campus for a late lunch when I heard my phone ring. I looked down, and smiled when I saw Garrett’s name flash across the screen. I swiped my finger across the screen to answer his call.

“Hello?”

“What the hell did you do?”

“Wh-What?”

“Don’t play stupid Char, I know you’re not an idiot. What did you say?”

“Gare, I swear, I have no idea what the hell you’re talking about!”

“To Jenay dammit! What did you say to her!”

Shit.

I was quiet for a few moments, listening to his labored breathing on the other side of the phone as I could tell he was trying to reign in his anger.

“Gare—”

“Dammit Char! I was really hoping this wasn’t true! Why the hell did you compare her to John?! I know he’s kind of a douche, well, whatever you know what I mean, but really? How could you be so insensitive?”

“Excuse me but first of all, how the hell do you even know about this? It’s none of your business.”

“When I get a phone call from one of my high school best friends and she’s in tears, I have a problem. Especially when it’s caused by her roommate best friend and my sister. You know I love you and will always be on your side, but you gotta also know that I’ll put you in your place. What the hell was that about?”

How did she get Garrett’s number? Not important right now. I’d have to figure that out later. Right now I just needed to clear the air here, though I really don’t deserve to explain myself. That was a pretty shitty thing I said.

“Look Gare—”

“Fucking save it. I don’t wanna hear your excuses.”

“Gare—”

He hung up on me. There went my day.

I continued the short walk to the diner while trying to suppress any tears threatening to make their way down my face. I walked in and went to sit in my normal booth in the back corner of the diner. For once in my life, I was glad my usual booth was a bit secluded from the rest of the paying customers. Even though this diner was on campus, students weren’t the only ones that ate here even if they did make up the majority of those seated in here.

I had barely set my bookbag next to me and opened up the menu when I heard someone tisking me just to my right, standing at the end of the table. I look up from the menu to see who it was. “Ms. Jackie! How are you!”

“Hey baby! How’s my girl doing?”

I forced a smile, hoping my stress wasn’t evident on my face. “Oh, ya know, just living a day at a time.”

“Ah, so it’s one of those days. Sounds like you need my pick-me-up special. I’ll put the order in. Don’t worry hun, today it’s on the house.” She smiled and gave me a wink as she wrote down my order and made her way to the kitchen to put in my order.

Ms. Jackie was like my mother these four years at school. She took me under her wing when I stumbled in here after receiving my first failing grade fall semester my freshman year. That day was complete shit and I was a complete wreck. The failing grade unfortunately wasn’t the worst part of my day, but it certainly didn’t help.

I couldn’t believe this was happening. How the fuck did I get an F on that project? I worked my ass off and for what? Nothing. Dr. Huff had some sort of vendetta against me and had since the first day of class. I don’t know why, but for whatever reason, I made it on his list which was a place you didn’t want to be.

If that didn’t suck enough, I was severely missing the guys today. Today was Ken’s birthday, and despite not being that close to him, this would be the first time since I’d known any of the guys that I would miss one of their birthdays. I’d only been at school a little over a month and I missed them more than I ever thought possible. It wasn’t like when they’d go on tour because I was at least talking to them then. By this point I hadn’t spoken to any of them since I moved down here. I miss them, especially Pat and Garrett. Though Garrett was almost two years older, we were like twins. We had this unbreakable bond. But Pat though, god I missed him the most. I know, the fact that I miss him more than my own brother is wrong, but can you blame me? He’s the first serious relationship that I’d ever been in and I couldn’t help but miss the kid. For as much as Garrett and I understood each other, Pat always understood me better. I think that’s why we worked so well, and why it was even harder for the both of us when we decided to break up for the sake of my schooling and their recording and touring.

So on top of getting my first F in my life and missing the guys that have become like brothers to me over the last few years, I also managed to oversleep past my alarm because it never went off because the battery died due to the short in the charging cord. So I’d have to buy another cord to charge my phone. I went to get ready, realizing I was running about half an hour behind. Of course, all of my clothes were dirty and I had absolutely nothing to wear other than my workout clothes. Terrific. So I was stuck wearing yoga pants and one of my older, ratty white shirts. Luckily I didn’t have anyone to impress. I quickly threw my hair up into a ponytail, not worrying about makeup or my appearance in general by this point, and ran out the door. It was only after the door closed that I realized I forgot to grab my keys off my desk. Shit. That would mean I’d have to take the bus and pray I would get to class on time.

Due to my dead phone, I had to resort to wearing a watch, which luckily I purchased and brought one with just in case. I waited impatiently at the bus stop as I saw that my first class started in about 10 minutes and the bus ride was about 20 minutes since class was across town and I missed the earlier bus due to oversleeping. The bus of course was about 15 minutes late, so I missed the first 35 minutes of class by the time I walked in, completely out of breath. I tried to walk in as inconspicuously as possible, but of course luck was not on my side today. Even though her back was to me as I walked in due to writing on the board, my professor definitely noticed my late entrance.

“Ah, so nice of you to grace us with presence Ms. Nickelsen. I’m sure whatever you had going on that caused you to be late to my class was definitely more worth your time than anything I had to say. Please stay after class to talk.” She said all of this while still writing on the board.

I couldn’t fucking believe it. Turns out she wanted me to write a 5 page essay to turn in next class on the importance of punctuality. What a joke. I took my punishment, and of course my next class was my computer class with Dr. Huff. I absolutely abhorred this class with every fiber of my being, but we were all required to take a basic computer class. I had been pulling all-nighters on the project for this class. It was by far my hardest class this semester and I put more effort into this class than any other. Unfortunately my effort was for shit because he flunked me anyway. He fucking accused me of cheating! Apparently another student’s work resembled what I turned in and he questioned my work, not believing it was my own, and asking me to explain how I did my project. I did, and went through my thought process. He flunked me anyway because apparently it wasn’t done the way he wanted it done. I followed the syllabus for the project so I don’t understand what the hell more he wanted from me. By the time that class was over, I decided to just skip my last class. There was no way this day could get any worse.

I was hungry and decided to walk across campus to grab some food from the campus diner. I was about 50 feet outside of the academic hall from Dr. Huff’s class when I heard a rumble of thunder. I slowed my steps slightly, praying that it wouldn’t rain on me. God had it out for me that day because as soon as I thought it, it poured on me. I’m talking torrential downpour. And naturally, I’m wearing an old white t-shirt with no umbrella or jacket to put on. At this point in my day I could only laugh. I was fucking miserable. I made my way to the diner and quickly spotted an empty booth at the back corner. I made my way there as quickly as I could.

I was greeted by an overly cheerful waitress, Jackie.

“Hey baby, what can I get for you?”

“I ugh, um…”

By this point she had looked up from her notepad and took in my appearance.

“Oh honey child. You look awful! Let me just order you my pick-me-up special. On the house honey. Looks like you need it. I’ll be right back.”

She came back a few minutes later with a mug of coffee and an old blanket.

“The coffee is to help warm you up and the blanket was from the back. Wrap it around you and try to dry off dear. I’ll be back with your food shortly.”

I just looked up and smiled at her. She pat me on the shoulder and went to take care of her other tables.

She came back about 15 minutes later carrying a plate with one of the biggest hamburgers I’d ever seen, fresh french fries, and a giant chocolate chip cookie.

“Now I know what you’re thinkin baby, ‘what’s so special about a hamburger and fries?’ Well, take a bite of both, and you’ll see what I mean. Best burgers and fries in a 50 mile radius. It’s all my special sauce. Here ya go. Oh, and the cookie is homemade and is fresh outta the oven. Warm and gooey. If you need anything else, just holler at me.”

After I finished eating what I was sure was one of the best meals I had ever eaten, she came back to take my plates and just before she left, she asked me how my day was. I heaved a deep sigh, and she signaled to hold on for a moment. She quickly took my plates to the back, and came back a few minutes later sans apron and notepad. I assume she clocked out. She then sat across from me.

“Alright baby, tell Momma Jackie here what happened.”

I began to tell her about the hellish day I’d had and by the time I finished my story, she patted my arm and signaled that I follow her. She gave me her cell phone number in case I ever needed a mother to call and she drove me back to my dorm room.

As I sat in the booth, memories of that god-awful day came rushing back. I couldn’t help but feel like that pathetic freshman from four years ago. As much as that day sucked though, I was so glad to have Ms. Jackie. She really did become like a mother figure for me, making up for my current lack of one. I went to her for everything from boy advice, to how to make some basic foods. She was really there for me over these last four years, and there’s no way for me to ever repay her for how wonderful she’s been to me.

She came back after a few minutes and brought out my standard coffee and blanket. The blanket wasn’t essential, but it served as a security blanket of sorts. I had an odd comfort from it, which is why anytime I needed a pick-me-up special after that first time, Ms. Jackie always made sure to bring one out to me.

She then came back and brought out my food. “One pick-me-up special. I clock out in about 45 minutes. If you don’t have anywhere to run off to, stick around and we can talk about it okay sweetheart?”

I smiled and meekly nodded in response as she made her way back to the kitchen.

I was about to dig into my burger when I was interrupted.

“Well well well. Look who it is.”

I looked up to find Nick standing next to my table, smirking down at me. My eyes bulged out of my head. First the coffee shop, and now the diner? What the hell?

“Nick?”

“Uh no. Actually it’s tall, dark, and handsome, but I can understand your confusion.” He smiled and winked at me.

I rolled my eyes and gestured to the booth across from me, offering him to sit across from me.

He nodded and slid into the bench across the table from me. “So, what are the odds that we run into each other twice in the same day?” He asked playfully.

“Oh I don’t know. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were stalking me.” I teased.

His cheerful demeanor faltered slightly as he replied, “Wh-what? Stalk you? Why would you say that?”

“Nick, I was just kidding.”

His face relaxed and he laughed a bit nervously, “Oh. Ha. Yeah, that would be kinda ridiculous huh?”

He anxiously rubbed the back of his neck with one hand while looking at me through his lashes.

I just nodded and chuckled in reply.

“So what brings you to the diner?”

He just chuckled. “Same as you I suppose, to eat. I mean, that’s not so strange right? Ya know, for a human to eat lunch?”

I looked down at my phone. “Well, for a college student that has class all day, eating lunch around 3:00 isn’t so strange. For a musician that does nothing during the day, I have my suspicions.” I narrowed my eyes at him with a mischievous smirk.

He rolled his eyes. “Well excuse me miss college student. No I don’t have a day job when I’m not touring or recording, but hey, I still live off that schedule since it takes up so much of my time.”

“Dude Nick, chill. I know. Ha. You forget, I live with two musicians.”

He looked at me questioningly.

“My brothers.”

His face relaxed.

“Oh, I uh, thought you may have been referring to…”

“Ha ha no. I promise. The girl you met this morning, Jen, she’s my roommate. No guys. Promise.”

His grin widened.

Ms. Jackie then came back to my booth about to bring me a refill on my coffee when she noticed that I was no longer sitting there alone.

“Hey baby, my name is Jackie. Can I get you anything?”

He mused for a second before answering, “I could go for a really good burger and a chocolate milkshake.”

She nodded as she wrote it down in her notepad before winking at me and going back to the kitchen to put in his order.

“She seems nice.”

He had no idea. “She really is. She’s like a second mother to me, and has been the entire time I’ve been in college.”

“That’s really awesome. So, I hope you don’t mind me infringing on your lunch…”

“No, really, it’s okay. I’ve had a shitty day and I could use the company.”

“Wanna talk about it?”

“Honestly, not really. But thanks just the same.”

I just looked down at my plate, and picked apart my food into small bites and occasionally popping a piece into my mouth.

Nick picked up on my less than conversational mood.

“Are you sure you’re alright? You’ve barely looked up since I sat here. Honestly, if you’d rather be by yourself right now, I get it. We can hang out some other time.”

I looked up at him and saw the sincerity in his statement. I felt absolutely terrible about this. He’s genuinely trying to help me out and I’m doing nothing but giving him the cold shoulder. I knew if we were to hang out today, though it would improve my mood momentarily, I wouldn’t be good company. I needed to set things right with Jen and after I got some wisdom from Ms. Jackie on what I should do, I would go back to the apartment and do just that.

“Nick, believe me. I would absolutely love to spend time and hang out with you, but now just really isn’t a good time. I would be terrible company.”

He nodded in understanding. “I’ll flag Jackie down and get my meal to-go. See ya around.”

He then got up and I saw him talk to Ms. Jackie briefly before she nodded and walked into the kitchen. She came out a couple minutes after with his food and drink in Styrofoam containers.

I slid further down in my booth when I heard my phone vibrate on the table. I reluctantly look at it to see who it was. My face lit up a little when I saw it was Pat.

Pat: Hey, so….I hear things are a bit rough for ya right now. You have my number if you need to talk.

I smiled despite my mood. He was a much better friend to me than I deserved and I hated that we never attempted to make anything work between us, but time and distance does crazy things to a relationship.

I eventually finished off my food and waited on Ms. Jackie to clock out so I could talk to her. I was in a tough spot with not only Jen, but now Garrett. Nick is in the mix and then there’s Pat. I have no idea what to do and I felt more lost now than I did when I first moved here four years ago. Here’s to getting older.