Just Another Doll

“Mom, it’s not that far from home,” I joked as I kept my arm slung around her shoulder.

My mother pulled back with tears welling up in her blue eyes, catching in her forming crow’s feet before dripping down her cheeks. Despite my desperate desire to get out of the house, I could almost choke up the same urge to cry like she was, but I wanted to spare myself the humiliation.

“Oh, I know that. But it’s just... you’re so grown up now.” I was pulled into another hug by the inescapable woman, a light sigh leaving my lips as she spoke the horribly cliched words to me.

True, yes; I was grown up... but were the mushy sentiments entirely necessary? Only hours ago she was nagging against my taste in radio stations.

Finally, she pulled away from me, her eyes now flooded with salty tears, and smiled. It took a few moments, but she gave her departing “I love you,” and got into our beat-up sedan, driving away with a heavy heart and fervent waving. Of course I would miss her. She was my only companion growing up -Dad left as soon as I came and Mom never remarried. But I liked it that way. It meant we just had each other to look out for, but now we only had ourselves.

Hell, I was used to that by now. I had a few drifting friends in high school, but we kept our relationships going on within the school walls only. I kept in touch with only one girl by the time our freshmen year of college rolled around, although she went all the way to UCLA, and I stayed in cruddy Indiana, going to a standard (but slightly prestigious) liberal arts school.

“Well, that’s that,” I muttered to myself, grabbing my final suitcase and box and moving towards my dorm building. Most of my stuff was already up in my room, but mom insisted I took the remaining things, even though it was just a bunch of embarrassing memorabilia. It was impossible to say no to her, though... especially at a goodbye such as this one. Seven hours apart was the widest gap we ever shared, but I was more than ready for it.

No one knew me at this college, and that in itself was the single most exciting thought ever.

By the time I reached the elevator, my arms were feeling weak, but I edged in, just wanting to get to my dorm.

“Hey, hold that door!”

A thick Irish accent filled the elevator and I quickly shoved my foot in front of closing door, watching as it reopened. A gorgeous blonde waltzed in, holding his own set of boxes and flashed a smile in my direction, white braces on his slightly crooked teeth.

“Thanks,” he said with a wink, settling beside me. “The name's Niall Horan, and what's your's?”

“Fletcher Owens,” I answered coolly. “I'd make an attempt to shake your hand, but that wouldn't work out too well right now.”

Niall laughed, looking at me with blue eyes, “Well you owe me one later then. I see we're goin' to the same floor anyways.”

The elevator stopped and Niall let me walk out first, my arms going numb under the weight of my box and suitcase. I smiled at the blonde as I went down to my room, but he was trailing directly behind me. Stopping in front of the door, I eyed him as he went to the room right across from mine.

“Well, that's a lovely coincidence,” I chuckled, juggling my belongings to one arm in a struggle to open the door.

Somehow I managed and stepped inside the tiny living and kitchen portion of the dorm, quickly moving into one of the two large L-shaped rooms that I shared with a girl who hadn't arrived yet. In fact, I was the first of all my future roommates, which I was glad for. It meant I got first pick when it came to one of the four beds. I chose one in the last turn of the L, secluded from the rest of the room. I hoped it wouldn't cause too much drama -who got what bed, that is.

Dropping my boxes, I returned to the hallway, finding Niall standing outside his dorm with his braced smile flashing towards me. He wasn't alone -at his side stood a boy equally as attractive. He was tall, lean, and looked remarkably like a model, which astounded me. Did I unknowingly apply for a college straight out of some teen television drama, full of beautiful people? It made my frizzy hair and short stature feel like impeding flaws that stood out like a sore thumb.

“Fletcher Owens, meet Liam Payne,” Niall introduced enthusiastically, nodding at the boy beside him.

Liam grinned at me, stepping forward and holding out his hand, “Pleasure, love.”

“First an Irishman, and now someone from England?” I pondered aloud, heavily amused with their accents. “Did you guys make plans to fake accents before you came here?”

“Nah, we're all natural,” Niall stepped forward for a handshake of his own. “We can't have too many Americans running around this school can we?”

“I guess not...” I trailed off, eyes wandering back and forth between each boy. “But how do you two know each other?”

“We don't,” Liam stated with a smirk. “We're just roommates. 'Got two other lads comin' in as well, but they're both from here. Sorry you're missin' out on more foreign action.”

“How will I ever cope?” I asked dramatically, putting one hand against my heart and the other palm-out against my forehead.

Niall tilted his head back and let out another infectious laugh which echoed down the hall. More people began coming through the long hall, carrying their things to their rooms and introducing themselves among others. Liam and Niall eventually trailed back into their dorm to unpack, and I followed suit, going into my own portion of my dorm.

It was weird seeing my things in boxes. Mom and I never moved or traveled, not even once. We had to go to the nearest Walmart to buy me a suitcase due to the fact we never even needed one. Being outside of my hometown was remarkable, however. Even if I was just a curly-haired, average student back there, here I was whoever the hell I wanted to be.

I heard the dorm door open and excitedly shot up, rushing to the small living portion to see which roommate it was. I had videochatted with all the girls I'd be sharing space with, and already messaged them more than a few times before move-in day. Looking out, I saw it was a girl named Sadie Holmes, one of the girls I spoke to the most, having a lot in common.

“Hi!” I eagerly greeted, unable to hold back my smile.

Sadie's brown eyes met my own, and she returned the grin, “Fletcher! It's so good to finally meet you.”

“I know,” I replied, taking one of her boxes from her so she could walk easier, “it feels like centuries since we first were assigned roommates.”

“Totally. Wanna share a room?” Sadie questioned me, flipping her choppy black bangs out of her face. “I figure the other two will want to be together.”

I nodded and lightly kicked open the door to our side of the dorm. I walked over the empty bed and placed down her box.

“I hope you don't mind that I took the bed back there,” I motioned towards my belongings in the corner of the room.

Sadie shrugged, “Not at all. I really wanted the bed by the window anyways. B-t-dubs, did you see the freaking gods in the dorm across from ours?”

“Niall and Liam? Yeah, they're so friendly,” I answered, hopping on my bed and turning to face her.

Sadie nodded in agreement, “If I didn't already have a boyfriend, I'd probably crap my pants at the sight of those two.”

A male voice called from the hallway, yelling out Sadie's name.

“Speaking of the devil,” she giggled as she left the room.

Sadie returned a second later, a huge smile on her chubby face as she beamed at the boy behind her. He was thin as a rail, which contrasted with her full figure, but his lanky arms carried multiple boxes -the rest of Sadie's stuff, I assumed. He put the things down and turned to me, his full lips turned upwards.

“I'm Walter,” he waved lightly as Sadie began unpacking her many boxes. “'In the room right down the hall.”

“Fletcher,” I replied, giving my own small wave.

The afternoon stretched on and eventually the other two roommates came at the same time -identical twin sisters. I struggled to remember which was which, but thankfully they reminded both Sadie and I.

“Anandi,” explained the shorter one, her gorgeous black hair flowing down her shoulders. “I'm the one with the beauty mark on my cheek.”

“And I'm Preeti,” the other told us shortly after. “The pretty one.”

Anandi gasped and playfully shoved her sister, but Preeti just laughed and rushed away to hide in their room, Anandi hot on her trail. I felt a slight pang of jealously, wondering what it was like to not only have a sister, but someone here with you that you knew better than anyone else. Shaking my head at their antics, I retired to my bed, which was finally made alongside most of my stuff being unpacked before the two showed up.

“Think they'll make us some curry?” Sadie asked as she flopped down on her bed.

“Sadie,” I scolded, throwing one of my pillows at her. “No racial stereotyping allowed.”

Sadie burst out in a fit of chuckles, launching my pillow right back at me. We shared a bit of small talk before she left the dorm to go be with Walter. I appreciated the alone time, although the sounds of Preeti and Anandi bickering on the other side of the wall was easily heard. I listened as they argued about who got what bed and just laughed to myself, rolling onto my side and looking at a few of the posters I hung up.

A part of me was still astounded that this room would be my new home for the year, especially after spending an entire lifetime under the roof of the old house that I grew up in. I wondered how close my mom was to home at this point in time, knowing she still had a few hours ahead of her on the drive back. I wondered if she was still crying, mourning the fact that she was finished raising me. The thought made me sick, picturing her going back to an empty home.

Why was I so quick to shoo her out of my life on campus? I sighed and felt a pang of guilt. Pulling out my phone, I shot her a quick email that she'd read when she got home, expressing my gratitude for her and telling her to call me when she got the message.

“Knock knock?”

I looked up and saw Liam standing at the foot of my bed, and yelped at the sight. Not one part of me noted his arrival, so he startled me quite a bit.

“'Didn't mean to scare ya,” Liam said, sitting on the foot of my bed. “Your two crazy roommates let me in.”

“Oh,” I rolled my eyes. “Those two are hilarious.”

Liam chortled and shook his head, leaning back on my bed with his elbows. He glanced at me with his eyebrows raised, “Fancy goin' on a walk? I just needed to get out for a bit. Already feelin' the cabin fever in there.”

“Definitely,” I replied, rolling off the bed and yanking on my shoes. “Anything to get my mind off my mom.”

“You miss your mum?” Liam asked me, following me as I left the dorm and started the walk down the hall. “Me too.”

I stopped in front of the elevator and looked at him, “That's crazy to think about. She's on an entire different continent.”

“Yeah, well,” Liam shrugged. “Let's not dwell too much. I don't want to have a proper cry in front of a bird like you.”

The elevator door opened and we stepped in, alongside two other boys. It was already headed to the main floor, so Liam and I just stood on the side of the elevator, but I let my eyes wander to the two already on it. One had a gorgeous, dark complexion, but the brightest set of grey eyes I'd ever seen, and the other was looking back at me with brown eyes, a small smirk on his angular face.

A part of me wanted to introduce myself, but I suppressed the urge and instead just smiled back lightly. The elevator stopped and Liam and I walked out and left the building. The sun was just starting to set on campus, making a sky a gorgeous mix of sherbert colors, melting onto the flat horizon.

The campus was the reason I fell in love with the school. Gorgeous trees were liberally spread out along the long grass fields, amazing statues and art pieces were sprinkled about, and each gorgeous brick building was made by some of the finest architects. It was like another world spilled out from the pages of a story book. It radiated the lightest sense of home, something I really needed in my life at that point.

“Truly fantastic,” Liam sighed, pausing to stare out at the campus. “And people say America's just made of food and banks.”

“Well, to be fair, we do have lots of those too,” I stated, beginning to walk down one of the winding sidewalks. “But at least none of that seems to be a huge statement here.”

Liam nudged me with his elbow and grinned, putting his hands in his jean pockets and continuing to walk. We ended up on one of benches until the sun set completely, talking about where we came from and how different it was from this college. It was easy to be comfortable around everyone I met so far, and I couldn't tell if it was because I truly fit in, or if it was just sheer dumb luck.

Either way, I could get used to it.