Paradise

Friday, August 2

I walk up the two steps to Axel's house. I didn't even knock. I pushed the door open and kicked it shut behind me. Axel was in the kitchen putting ice in the rest of the coolers. Casta was downing a beer. Zane sat on a stool looking high as ever. Jensen was fixing his shirt.

"You good man?" I eye Zane and he nods and has a big goofy grin on his face.

"I'm good bro." He laughs. He leaned back and his head was on the breakfast bar and his butt on the stool and his back had no support so I'm counting down till he falls.

"Everybody will be here soon." Jensen says nervously.

I roll my eyes. He's probably worried about his girlfriend showing up. He didn't tell her where he is at.

I go to grab a beer and twist it open. "I'm getting fucked up tonight." I mutter.

"Hell yeah." Casta grins. His eyes dart around the room quickly but go back to staring at the empty bottle in his hands.

Zane tumbles to the floor. He laughs and stumbles to the bathroom.

"Fuck I should've used it before ." I mumble. When Zane is drunk forgets how to pee so he'll be there for awhile.

"Use mine and Estees bathroom ." Axel says nodding to the set of stairs. Casta's eyes light up and watches me walk up the stairs.

I walk and I'm in the hallway and I hear a voice singing,

"The mirror's image
Tells me it's home time
But I'm not finished
'Cause you're not by my side
And as I arrived I thought I saw you leaving
Carrying your shoes
Decided that once again I was just dreaming
Of bumping into you."

Her voice is soft and sweet. Tempting.

"Now it's three in the morning and I'm trying to change your mind
Left you multiple missed calls until my message you reply
Why'd you only call me when you're high?
High, why'd you only call me when you're high?"

I peek around the corner and see Estee standing in front of the bathroom mirror in a bright blue towel. Her wet brown hair drips down her back as she continues to sing,

"Somewhere darker
Talking the same shite
I need a partner
Well, are you out tonight?
Gets harder and harder to get you to listen
More I get through the gears
Incapable of making alright decisions
And having bad ideas"

I now hear music playing in the background. Bean holds Estees phone. He glances up at me. I put my finger to my lips as a "ssshh," gesture.

He smiles and puts a finger to his lips.

"Now it's three in the morning and I'm trying to change your mind
Left you multiple missed calls until my message you reply
Why'd you only call me when you're high?
High, why'd you only call me when you're high?"

Estee is singing to bean as he smiles and watches his older sister dance. Naked. Well she has a towel on. But she's still pretty naked under there. I'm almost positive I saw her ass as she bent down to pick up the comb that was on the floor.

"And I can't see you here wondering where am I?
Sorta feels like I'm running out of time
I haven't found what I was hoping to find
You said you gotta be up in the morning, gonna have an early night
And you're starting to bore me, baby
Why'd you only call me when you're high?"

She does a little dance while she sings.

"Why'd you only ever phone me when you're high?
Why'd you only ever phone me when you're high?
Why'd you only ever phone me when you're high?
Why'd you only ever phone me when you're high?"

She smiles and curtseys. Bean smiles big and claps.

"Arctic monkeys." I say stepping away from the wall I was hiding behind.

Estee let's out a little scream and jumps. She clutches her towel tighter around her.

" what are you doing?" She asks a little out of breath.

"I need to use the bathroom and Zane's in the other one so Axel told me to come up here. " I say staring at her.

Her skin was still wet from her shower I'm guessing she took since the mirrors are all fogged up. She licks her lips.

"Jeez, you could've just said that and not watch me sing." She says holding out her hand for Bean who grabs it and jumps from his spot on the toilet. He runs past me into Estees room which was across from axels straight from the bathroom.

I block the doorway so she's stuck in the bathroom.

"Your voice is amazing. " I say. But it comes out as a whisper.

Her cheeks go red. "I don't like singing infront of people. "

"Bean?" I raise a brow.

"Only for bean." She whispers. I barely heard her as she shoulders past me into her room. I watch her walk away.

I shake my head and quickly use the bathroom. I walk out of the bathroom and Estee is dressed now in gray sweats and a blue v neck. She pushes me against the door. It shocks me.

"Whatever you do. Tell Casta I'm sleeping. " she points at me.

I nod.

She stares at me for a minute and pushes away from me and shuts herself in the room.

I walk down the stairs as people start to arrive and Zane makes his way out of the bathroom.

Why does she care about what Casta says? I peer off into space as Axel waves his hand in front of me.

I blink "what?"

"What the fuck is your problem?" He asks sliding me a beer.

I lean against the counter. "Nothing." I think twice as out it. I quickly chug my beer and Axel hands me another. "Why does Casta always ask about your sister?" I finally ask.

Axel looks surprised by my question. He glances around at the people drinking around us.

"They dated.. Kinda.. No."

He scratches his head.

"Fuck. I'm not sure how to explain it." He mutters. "Casta wants to date her but she doesn't. She really has a thing against all stoners and drunks." He lifts his beer to his lips and downs it.

I grab another and down that. How many was that ? I don't care. Nothing can stop me now. Casta sits next to me and passes me a blunt. We share it and next thing you know I'm doing shots. Body shots. Off of this blonde. She giggles as I stand up straight. My eyes were trying to focus. I quickly pat my pants in search of my phone. Nothing.

"I'll be right back." I slur. I walk out the house in the straightest line I could possibly make in the state I'm in. My foot gets stuck and I go face first into grass. I groan and stay there. The grass is wet. My eyelids heavy and I am engulfed into the darkness.

"C'mon now." I hear. The voice helps me up. My eyelids won't open. I feel my feet moving and sounds. I can't make them out but I know the party is still going on.

I get pushed and I fall on something soft.

"Not on your back." I hear the voice. The voice rolls me on my side. I have to puke.

"Puke." I mumble. The voice quickly sits me up and puts a container in my hand and I throw up. Hopefully in the container. My mouth is dry. I fall back to the bed and clutch the container to my side. The voice rolls me over on my side and takes the container. As I fall back asleep the voice sings.

"Don't break me down
I've been travelin' too long
I've been trying too hard
With one pretty song

I hear the birds on the summer breeze,
I drive fast, I am alone in the night
Been tryin' hard not to get into trouble,
but I, I've got a war in my mind
So, I just ride, just ride,
I just ride, just ride. "

There's the worst pain in my head. A voice is humming. Coldplay?

"Ugh what time is it?" I groan and roll onto my stomach.

The voice stops humming. "6:43" it says.

I peel my eyes open and see Estee sitting on a computer chair. She sat cross legged. Her hair in a bun and a book in her lap.

"Where the fuck am I?" I ask and look around.

"My room." She said and spins herself in the chair.

I sit up and look around. "What the fuck happened last night?" I scratch my head and my mouth is really dry. I look around.

Estee points to a water bottle on the nightstand. "You were pretty bad last night.

I grab the water and chug it down leaving nothing left. Bean walks into the room with tears in his eyes and a ball in his hands. He isn't wearing any pants so we see his pull ups and he's wearing a blue shirt. He sniffles loudly.

Estee gets up quickly and picks him up and kicks the door closed. The little boy curls himself into his sister and hides is face in her neck. She rocks him and she glances around. She climbs over me onto the bed and places bean down next to me. She covers him quickly and she shushes his sniffles and sobs. She jumps over me and sits on the seat in time for her step mother to pop her head in.

"Where the hell is he?!" She demands.

"This doesn't concern you." Estee says and raises an eyebrow waiting for a response.

Her step mother glares at her and slams the door which causes bean to son louder.

Estee quickly grabs bean jumping over me again and runs out the room and appears seconds later.

"what just happened?" I asked. Am I dreaming?

Estee shrugs. "My step mom treats bean differently and it pisses me off."

"Why?" I ask. I squint to block some light out

Estee shuts the blinds and turns her lamp on low. She shrugs.

I sigh in relief.

"Your phone has been ringing all night." She says and hands me my phone.

I get up and grab it. 23 missed calls. Fuck. Alyssa, Axel, my sister dawn.

I rub my face "thanks for watching me last night Estee." I say and look at her. She watches me from her chair with big brown eyes. She nods and I walk out of her room