Caught in the Middle

I didn't talk to Garrett for the next week, for numerous reasons. The record store announced they were closing down at the end of the week so when I was on my shift it was too busy for me to text him, and once my final shift was finished, I went over to Tim's and asked him about working with him, selling merch and helping in the warehouse. Thankfully, he agreed so I was once again employed.

The other reason why I didn't talk to Garrett was because I was sorting out my feelings and figuring out where they belong. As much as I still wanted to be with John and win him over, my feelings for Garrett were growing by the day and this week of silence was proving that to me.

The boys were planning a tour to take place just after the album was released, meaning I now had a limited time to win John over, which at this rate was beginning to look easier. After I had messaged John asking what was wrong on Saturday night, he replied saying that he would come over and talk during the week, and I was woken up on Thursday morning by John crawling into my bed.

"What are you doing?" I asked as John curled up beside me, wrapping his lanky arms over my body.

"I'm pretending that the last seven years of my life didn't exist and that things are back to how they were before you left," he mumbled into me, closing his eyes. I closed my eyes again, but the erratic rhythm of his breath made me look back down at him.

"John? Are you okay? What happened?" I asked, sitting up.

"Things are so shit right now and I don't know what to do," he whimpered, letting a tear fall onto my bed.

"Why don't you start by telling me what's going on," I said, pulling him into my lap and stroking his hair like a mother would to a child.

"My relationship with Rachel is falling to pieces. We rarely see each other anymore and any time that she sees you and Garrett together she gets in a really bad mood and doesn't talk to me. The other night at the cinema was the first time we'd seen each other in over a week. All we do is fight and we haven't had sex in weeks which is really not like Rachel," John moaned.

I felt a sinking feeling in my gut. I knew that if Rachel wasn't having sex with John then she was having sex with Halvo, however I wasn't about to tell him that, no matter how much I didn't like Rachel or wanted them to break up.

"I'm sure she'll come around," I lied, trying to make him feel better, "Maybe you need a little time to yourselves to make sure it's what you both want. She'll realise how much she loves you and she'll make it up to you, I swear."

John sighed, playing with the edge of my blanket. "Sometimes I feel like it would be better for us to just give it up and move on with other people, but I don't really have anyone else to move on with."

"You have the band, you have me, you have all your amazing and dedicated fans, the best thing you can do is to move on and grow from it. You'll always have people behind you, backing you up, and you know that."

John sat up and I pulled him into a hug, him squeezing me tight.

"Sometimes I just feel so lonely and all I need is my best friend to say things will be okay and give me a hug," he said in a small voice. I hugged him tighter, a small smile slipping onto my face when I realised I had my best friend back.

* * * * *

Tim called a formal meeting for the band on Sunday to discuss the upcoming album and new merch designs, and demanded that as the newest addition to the crew I was needed as well. It was also the first time I'd seen Garrett since the kiss a week ago and I knew he'd want to talk to me while I was there so I was mentally preparing myself for that too.

I could feel Garrett's eyes on me the whole meeting and once it was over I tried not to show any emotions as he approached me.

"Hey, where have you been all week?" Garrett asked me.

"I've been super busy, the record store just shut down so we've been swamped, I was looking for more work and then I was catching up with John, sorry Garrett," I apologised, faking a blasé attitude as I pushed the thought of Garrett's lips on mine from my mind.

"That's cool, I was just a little worried when you didn't return any of my calls or messages."

"Oh yeah, I kept going to reply and I'd get caught up and I forgot, sorry again."

Garrett frowned slightly at me and was silent for a moment. "Are you sure you wanna keep doing this thing, whatever we're doing? You don't really seem that into it."

"Garrett, you do realise that we're not actually dating right?" I said in a low voice, making sure no-one else could hear me, "I'd be a little worried if I did get too into it because that's not supposed to happen."

Garrett's face fell slightly and he bit his lip. "Yeah, you're right. Fuck. Um, okay. Well I'll talk to you later and we can hang or something." He rubbed the back of his neck as he walked towards his car and I let him go. I had to reassure myself that John was the one I wanted and that distancing myself from Garrett would be good and stop either of us from getting hurt.

John jogged over to where I was standing as Garrett drove away and ran his hand through his hair.

"What was that about?" he asked.

"Nothing, just catching up. Come on, you want a ride home?"

"Considering Garrett was supposed to be my ride and he just left, that would be great thanks."

John climbed into my car and I began to drive towards his house. After a silent car drive, I pulled up in his driveway, but he made no move to get out of the car so I turned off the engine.

"Just say whatever you want to say John."

His brow was still furrowed, conflicted over whatever he was thinking so hard about.

"I just still don't like you and Garrett together. Don't get mad at me again, but it's just that you were never that into each other back in high school, so I don't really get why you're doing this now? It's just confusing me and I can't figure it out."

"Things change John, you of all people should know that. I never expected you to end up with someone like Rachel, but here you are. Sometimes time will do things to people and spending a lot of time away from people can make you realise things about them that you used to look past."

"I don't know if I can live with making such big mistakes in my life before. I made the worst mistake of my life years ago and that's a consequence I still live with today."

"Wait, what do you mean? What mistake?" I asked him. He shook his head.

"It doesn't matter. I'll see you around Jessy, you're still going to the launch party at Kennedy's next month, right?" he asked me, getting out of the car.

"Yeah, I wouldn't miss it for the world. But that's over a month away, why are you asking me now?"

"I know you're gonna get busy with packing orders with Tim, I saw the schedule he has lined up for you, and we're gonna be busy with putting the finishing touches on mixing the album and stuff, so we might not see each other until then."

My heart sank as I realised how lonely the next month was going to be. If I wasn't going to have John around, it was likely that I wouldn't have Garrett, Kennedy or any of the guys around.

Yep, this next month was looking to be as lonely as ever.

* * * * *

I was washing up the dishes in the sink while my parents were at work the next day, when Garrett sauntered into the kitchen, taking a seat at the breakfast bar.

"Thank you for notifying me of your arrival," I said sarcastically as I put the dish I had dropped into the sink on the draining rack.

"I figured that you wouldn't let me in the door so I had to make sure I could see you."

I rolled my eyes at him. "Garrett, I'm sure that I would have let you in. Why would I not?"

Garrett sighed. "Look, I'm sorry for making things awkward and weird last weekend and bringing it up yesterday. I should have just left it and not try to look too far into things. I think I just kissed you so you could make up your mind about where you wanted to go with whatever it is you're doing. So, I'm sorry."

"Garrett, its fine. I feel like I've been getting carried away the last few weeks and the last week has let me cool off and get back down to business. I'd forget that we're not actually dating, but I talked to John and I can now see that what we're doing is working."

Garrett's eyebrows shot up into his hairline. "Really?"

I nodded. "Apparently every time that Rachel sees us together she gets all frustrated with John and doesn't talk to him. The only bad thing is that it's taking its toll on John and he's not coping all that well."

"Maybe we should stop this then."

I shook my head. "Rachel is poisonous for John. Even at their best, she sucks the life out of him. I've never seen him so miserable when he's with the person he supposedly loves. If we stopped this, then Rachel would continue to hurt him. We can't stop this until she stops hurting him."

Garrett nodded. "And until then?"

"Until then we keep pretending we're dating until one of them gets rid of the other."

* * * * *

During the week, the band had the photo shoot for the album, all painted as skeletons, and Tim and I finalised the designs for the pre-orders and sent off the stock order. The most hectic day had arrived: the beginning of pre-orders.

"Now Jessy, don't get too overwhelmed, but there's gonna be a hell of a lot of orders come through in the next 24 hours. Your job is to sort them into piles of which pre-order bundle and order them from size extra small to extra large. You think you can handle that?"

I nodded as he took his seat at the computer. "Alright then, let the mayhem commence."

Within five minutes, orders began flying through and I was struggling to keep up with them. The office door opened and two figures walked in.

"What are you guys doing here?" Tim asked them. I looked up momentarily to see John and Garrett standing by.

"We guessed that things might get a little crazy around here so we came to give you some help," Garrett said, taking a seat next to me. John sat on my other side and started writing sticky notes to put in front of each pile for easier sorting.

We worked as a team, Garrett and I sorting the orders into their respective piles and John would continually sort them into their sizing. After half an hour, Garrett plugged his phone into the speakers and we listened to his music as we worked, occasionally singing along. Garrett's hand would brush mine every so often and we'd glance at each other, sly smirks on our faces, but when I turned to John he would have a scowl on his face.

We took a break a few hours later as the orders began to slow down and John practically demanded that he needed a cigarette. Garrett went down to the corner store to get us some water and snacks, giving me a small kiss on the cheek before he left. I still had a smile on my face when I turned to see John scowling at the ground.

"What's wrong?" I asked him, moving in closer so my side was leaning against his. He stiffened and pushed himself slightly away.

"You know when you really like someone but they're with someone else?" Don't I ever. I just nodded and he sighed.

"But what about Rachel?"

"I don't know. I've barely seen her the last few weeks, I think we're nearly done for good. I'm almost certain that just before tour she's going to break up with me and that's gonna be it."

I rubbed his arm supportively. "If you ever need to talk about it, I'm always listening."

The side of his mouth curled upwards in an attempt of a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. "Thanks Jessy."

John finished his smoke as Garrett returned and we went back inside to start sorting out the orders that had come through.

* * * * *

Another hour and a half later and the orders had finally slowed to a trickle and Tim let us go home.

"Pre-order stock should be arriving in about a week and a half so I'll give you a call when it comes in because all the orders need to be sent out a few days before the release date so it's gonna be a few long, hard days getting them all packed."

We said goodbye to Tim and Garrett walked me to my car while John stood by the passenger door of Garrett's car.

"I feel like I haven't seen you in forever, do you wanna come around and hang out?" Garrett asked me. I nodded happily.

"I don't really have anything else planned."

He smiled at me and leaned in my window to kiss my cheek. "Drive safely, I'll meet you back at my place."

I got to Garrett's place first since he was still taking John home, but the door was locked so I had no option but to sit in my car as I waited for him to return.

A knock on my car window made me jump. Garrett had a puzzled look on his face as I opened the car door.

"Why didn't you go inside?"

"The door was locked, there's no one home."

He took my hand as we walked to the front door and he lifted the pot of one of the plants by the door, pulling out a little silver key and handing it to me.

"This is yours now, if I'm not home and you just wanna come and hang out, go for your life. My parents love you so I know they won't care."

He unlocked the door and pushed it open, gesturing for me to enter first.

"So what are we going to do this afternoon?" I asked him.

"Well, I just got the new Call Of Duty game so I was planning on playing that for a while, unless you wanna do something else?"

I shook my head. "No, that's okay. I'm fine with just watching you play."

I sat on the couch while he put the game in and he started playing, his face screwing up as it got difficult. I felt my eyes begin to close as the exhaustion from today's activities began to catch up with me.

I rested my head against Garrett's shoulder as my eyes closed and I fell asleep, waking up a couple of hours later with my head resting in his lap as he continued to play the game on mute. I lay in silence as I watched him play and I pieced together the words John had said this afternoon with his mood today.

"You know when you really like someone but they're with someone else?"

John liked me still. And I was causing him pain by continuing to be with Garrett, who I had accidentally fallen for.

This had gotten too complicated and it needed to be ended very soon before we all got hurt.