Caught in the Middle

The first show went off without a hitch, however Garrett's irritable mood was noticeable and he didn't bother to stay outside with the rest of the guys as they signed things and took photos with fans, opting to head straight onto the bus instead. The boys all covered for him, saying that he wasn't feeling well enough to stay outside.

Meanwhile, I was busy selling merch; not having a spare moment to worry about Garrett or John or anyone else other than whoever the teenage girl in front of me was and what they wanted. I got several stares and weird looks as people recognised me as Kennedy's friend, but thankfully not as Garrett's girlfriend/ex-girlfriend.

By the time the last fan had exited the venue, it was nearly 11pm and the boys would be stuck hanging out with fans for at least another half hour, if not more, then we'd be on the road to the next venue of the tour.

Once I had packed up all the remaining merch and Tim had helped me carry it out to the trailer, there was only a few people left outside and the boys were starting to wrap things up with them.

I headed onto the bus, past Garrett's bunk with the curtain shut, to the bathroom to change into something more comfortable before the boys took over the small room and made it smell of sweat and beer.

Kennedy stepped onto the bus as soon as I left the bathroom, giving me a small smile and a wave before walking up the back.

"You heading to bed?" he asked, referring to my pyjamas. I nodded.

"Yeah, I'm pretty tired, having an early night might be a good idea."

Kennedy went to hug me, but pulled back. "I'm kinda gross right now, you probably don't wanna hug me."

I rolled my eyes and pulled Kennedy into a hug, ignoring his sweaty shirt as he returned the embrace.

"Goodnight Kennedy."

"Goodnight Jessy."

I went into my bunk, hearing the rest of the guys boarding the bus now, and closed my eyes at an attempt of sleep.

* * * * *

I woke up feeling disoriented and groggy, forgetting that I was on a tour bus and not in my own bed. It was still dark, however I put that down to my bunk being closed off from any light. I checked my phone and nearly audibly groaned when I saw it was only 3am.

I knew I wouldn't be able to get back to sleep yet, what with the bus being in motion, so I wandered to the mini fridge and poured myself a glass of water and headed to the back lounge. I nearly dropped the glass when I saw a figure sitting on the couch and I tried to regain my breathing as I realised it was only John.

He looked up as he saw my shadow enter the lounge and gave me a half-smile, his face illuminated by the glow of his laptop.

"I didn't wake you up, did I?" he whispered as I took a seat next to him. I shook my head.

"I can't fall back asleep now that the bus is moving," I whispered back, to which he chuckled.

"I was like that the first time we toured on a bus. You'll get used to it soon, I've grown more used to sleeping in a moving vehicle than I have in a still room."

I sipped at my water as he turned his attention back to his laptop, watching the movie that was playing out on the screen. A shiver ran down my spine as I finished the cold water, feeling the cool air from the early morning even in summer. John glanced over at me then reached behind him and handed me a soft blanket that I vaguely remembered being draped over the back of Jenny O'Callaghan's couch in high school. I mumbled a thanks and tucked my legs up under my body, draping the blanket over my curled up body. It still smelt faintly of Jenny's laundry powder, and I breathed in the familiar scent as I tried to get comfortable on the couch.

I kept fidgeting as I tried to get into a comfy position, however trying to sit upright while not cutting off circulation to my legs was proving difficult. In the end, I gave up and leaned my head on John's shoulder, watching his movie with him from this position.

He jerked back slightly from the sudden contact, but after a moment lifted his arm up over my shoulders, pulling me closer into his body so my head was now resting on his chest.

We sat in this position for a while, not speaking, just watching the movie. I felt my eyes begin to grow heavy and I closed them momentarily, finding myself falling back asleep in John's warm embrace.

* * * * *

I could hear voices when I woke up, but they were all saying things too low for me to comprehend this early in the morning. I blinked my eyes open, squinting at the sun coming in the window, the first thing I see being Kennedy glaring at John, who was glaring back with his arm still around me.

"I'm not stupid, Kenny," John whisper-yelled at him, "Jessy and I have known each other for years, I don't get what your problem is."

"John the problem is that you've hurt her before, so badly that she completely cut off contact with any of us for seven years. I don't want her to get hurt again."

"Kennedy do you honestly think I'm stupid enough to fuck up my relationship with her again?"

"You haven't even been broken up with Rachel for a week and now you're getting all cosy with Jessy?"

"It's not like that, Kennedy."

I decided to make my awareness known and I stretched myself out against John's body, feeling stiff from being curled up in the same position for a while. John and Kennedy stopped their conversation, John loosening his grip around my shoulders while still keeping his arm in place and Kennedy offering me a small smile that didn't reach his eyes.

"You sleep okay?" Kennedy asked me. I nodded.

"I woke up around 3 and couldn't get back to sleep so I came out here and found John," I explained, hoping that it would make Kennedy loosen up on John.

"You were looking pretty cosy when Garrett and I came in here about half an hour ago. He just went out to go get some coffee." In other words, Garrett got angry seeing John and I together so Kennedy sent him out to cool down while he talked to John. I sighed at this thought and sat up, pulling myself away from John's body.

"I think I'm going to go get some coffee as well, last night was pretty rough." I folded up the blanket and placed it on the edge of the couch, standing to go change into something appropriate for me to wear down the street.

I almost ran into Garrett around the corner from the bus and he looked up at me with a scowl, moving to walk around me. I caught him by the arm before he could leave and he sighed as he faced me.

"What do you want Jessy?" he asked me flatly.

"What's your problem? Why are you being such a dick to John and I?"

Garrett laughed humourlessly. "Do you really want me to answer that? We'd be here all day if I did. Look, Jessy, what you did to John, Rachel and I was horrible and I'm surprised that John and everyone else were able to forgive you for what you did."

I furrowed my brow. "What I did? What the hell did I do?"

"You fucking played me, and you made John and his girlfriend break up for your own selfish reasons," Garrett exploded.

"Okay firstly, I was doing John a favour by making them break up, she was sucking the life out of him and I haven't seen him this happy since high school," I defended myself, "And secondly, I told you exactly what you were getting yourself into with that fake relationship. You knew that I liked John and that I was only pretending to date you. You knew that this was going to happen, so why are you acting like it was such a shock?"

Garrett was stunned into silence, then he turned away, stunned into silence.

"Well, good luck and have fun doing whatever it is you're doing with John. Judging by the way you two were looking on the couch this morning, I'd say that it's working."

Garrett stormed off towards the bus and I stomped off to the nearest Starbucks to get myself a coffee and when I arrived back at the bus, Kennedy was on a war path.

"What did you say to Garrett?" he spat out, not bothering with a greeting.

"I'm really not in the fucking mood, Kenny," I spat back.

"Neither am I, but we have a show to play tonight and I need to fix whatever you said to him before we play that show or else neither him or John are going to make it on stage because they'll both be carried away in body bags. What did you say to him?" Kennedy repeated. I sighed, pulling on his arm to lead us both out of the bus and away from everyone else.

"Garrett and I were never actually in a relationship," I admitted to him. A look of surprise flashed across his face.

"Wow, uh, okay? Are you sure?"

I nodded. "It was really convincing. So convincing that I actually managed to convince myself that we were dating and that I had feelings for him."

"Do you?"

I shook my head. "I don't know. I don't think so. And that's how things got complicated. We were only pretending to date so he could help me show John how awful Rachel was to him but something happened along the way and it all ended badly and now we're in this awkward mess."

Kennedy narrowed his eyes. "It sounds like Garrett has feelings for you, and maybe you have feelings for Garrett."

I shook my head quickly. "I don't have any feelings for him, and I doubt he has any for me. He, uh, he kissed me once, just to see what it was like, but that was it. Nothing ever came of it."

"Wait, he kissed you? Man, Garrett has it bad. No wonder he's acting this way."

"Yeah right, he's acting like this because..." But I couldn't finish my sentence. Everything began to click into place. Why else would he be so jealous and irritated by seeing John and I together? Why else would he have made such a big deal over us ending our fake relationship? Not to mention how he acted around my parents, and when he met Dylan.

"Because he likes you, and it's making him go crazy to see the girl he likes with someone else, especially one of his close friends."

I opened my mouth to speak, but closed it when I couldn't find the words. Surely Garrett didn't like me like that? He took me to dinner a few times, but that was to spy on John and Rachel, or to plan our next move. He kissed me, but like he said, it was just to see what the rest of the boys liked about it.

I walked away from Kennedy and back onto the bus, taking in Garrett's scowl as I walked past him to my bunk as I got clothes to change into for the show, finding John sitting in the back lounge with a scowl that matched Garrett's. They'd obviously been fighting and sent to opposite ends of the bus.

I started setting up my merch desk in the venue when Tim confronted me.

"Jessy, did you say something to Garrett?" he asked me, crossing his arms. I sighed.

"Look, Tim, Kenny already gave me the talk so save your breath," I replied, not feeling like an argument with Tim after this morning.

"Jesus Christ, Jessy, the one thing I told you not to do on this tour was start shit with the guys and it's the second day and you've already made Garrett and John get into a fucking screaming match. Can't you just do what you're told?" Tim argued.

I crossed my arms at him. "Well, maybe you should suggest a better way to remove the log that's been firmly jammed up Garrett's ass because I tried and it's not budging. I really don't wanna talk about any of this now or else I'm gonna end up snapping at some poor girl that doesn't deserve it, alright?" I practically yelled at him. He exhaled loudly and stalked away from my table. I had to close my eyes and take a deep breath to calm down enough that I didn't just throw it all back into the box and head back to Phoenix by myself.

I finished setting up the table and I turned around to see John striding towards me, the scowl from earlier still gracing his features. I sighed and addressed him before he could open his mouth.

"If you're going to be the fourth person to have a bitch at me today, then you can just turn around and walk your ass back to the bus right now."

"All I wanna say to you is thanks for having Garrett turn his back on me, y'know, it's not like I have to play in a fucking band with him," John shot out sarcastically. I rolled my eyes.

"Like I said before, if you're here to yell at me, just leave. I don't have the patience to deal with it today."

John turned back around and left the venue as I slumped to the ground and put my head in my hands. This tour was going to be an absolute nightmare.