Caught in the Middle

'John: You're coming to Kennedy's tonight, right?'

Of course I was going to Kennedy's, what else did I have to do to fill my time? John and I had basically returned to normal after our talk, but things with Garrett were yet to look up. John said that he had tried talking to him, but since before the tour John hadn't been one of Garrett's favourite people either. I wasn't exactly looking forward to Kennedy's since Garrett was still with Lauren, and now that Pat and Alecia were back together they would disappear into a quiet room at the beginning of the night and not emerge until the next morning.

I sent John a message back.

'Yeah, I guess I should make an appearance. Not really looking forward to Garrett being a little bitch though.'

I glanced at the clock, noticing it was nearly five and I probably needed to start getting ready to go to said gathering. I didn't know why I was putting in an effort though, I wasn't going to hook up with John and Garrett was bringing Lauren with him even though they weren't officially dating, but I still needed to put in an effort and wear something other than sweats.

I picked out a pair of jeans and a nice shirt, brushing my hair and swiping on a small amount of makeup, not even caring how I looked. To be completely honest, I just wanted the night to be over already and I hadn't even left for Kennedy's yet.

I grabbed the bottle of tequila I had bought the day before, just begging to be opened, and got in my car to go to Kennedy's.

The whole drive there I was contemplating turning around, stopping at the grocery store for a tub of cookie dough Ben and Jerry's and getting in my pyjamas for a Gossip Girl marathon, but I knew that John would be expecting me, as would Kennedy.

The only cars at Kennedy's were Kennedy's own little hatchback and John's pickup and I felt somewhat thankful that there was no-one else there. I needed a little private time with them before we were interrupted by everyone else getting drunk.

I began opening the bottle of tequila and took a sip of it as I opened Kennedy's door, needing to get drunk before too many people showed up so I could pass out earlier.

"Whoa, settle down Jessy, you have all night," Kennedy said from the armchair, holding a half-empty bottle of beer. I just rolled my eyes and joined him and John, who was sitting on the couch with a beer as well. I took another sip of the tequila before resting my head on John's lap. It didn't feel quite as awkward as it did before, now that we had both confirmed that we would be friends and nothing more.

"Why did I even come tonight? I have way better things I could be doing," I moaned.

"Yeah right, watching Serena and Blair have new boyfriends every two episodes isn't any better," John rolled his eyes at me.

"I don't even wanna know how you know that, I might have to revoke your man card," I teased him.

"Jessy I spent an entire month with my mother as my main company, don't underestimate her ability to marathon the entire series in a week." I giggled, imagining Jenny and John glued to the screen, discussing what was happening on the show.

"If it's Garrett you're worried about, he's not gonna be around until later, Lauren has some kind of dinner thing that he's going with her to. By the time he gets here you probably will have passed out if you keep drinking that tequila like you are," Kennedy pointed out.

"Kenny, you act like that isn't what I'm trying to do."

We watched TV and drank while talking casually until Pat and Alecia showed up. As soon as she saw me, Alecia pulled me into Kennedy's kitchen to talk to me.

"So, I have the perfect plan on getting you and Garrett together," she said excitedly. I gave her a puzzled look.

"What are you talking about? Me and Garrett?"

"John told us everything that happened over the last few weeks."

"Remind me to punch John in the balls once we're done with this conversation. Anyway, whatever you're planning won't work because it'll require Garrett to actually associate with me and that's not gonna happen any time soon."

"Well, looks like I'm going to have to help him with that. I'm going to get you two wasted and alone and basically play seven minutes in heaven with you. You can go and talk in Kennedy's room and neither of you are leaving until you do." Alecia seemed triumphant at her plan.

"How are you gonna convince Garrett to be in the same room as me, let alone be the only ones in the room?"

"We'll just make up some kind of excuse. Don't worry, it's all going to work out and I can guarantee that once he knows how you feel about him he's going to come crawling back to you."

I rolled my eyes at her 'brilliant' plan. "Alright, if you can stage this master plan then I owe you a coffee date."

Alecia beamed. "Deal."

* * * * *

A couple of hours later and the party was in full swing, but still no sign of Garrett. I had drunk two thirds of my bottle of tequila and I began to worry that by the time Garrett got here I would be too sober to want to face him.

Just as I was contemplating hiding, Garrett stepped into Kennedy's house, holding Lauren's hand. I recognised her as the girl who sat on my feet at John's house, the one that looked like me. I took another swig from my tequila bottle and went to find Alecia.

"He's here," was all I said to her and she understood immediately.

"Alright, I'm gonna wait another ten minutes before I go speak to him. Go up and wait in Kennedy's room and I'll send him in soon." I nodded and headed to Kennedy's room, gulping down the tequila to calm my nerves.

Like she promised, ten minutes later I could hear Alecia and Garrett talking outside the door.

"No, Kennedy had something he wanted to show you, but I can't find him so I'll just show you," she lied to him.

"Maybe I should wait for Kennedy then," Garrett said.

"No it's okay, he said I could show you. But you have to go in first," Alecia convinced him.

The door opened and Garrett stepped inside, seeing me and turning around to leave. He pushed against the door but it wasn't budging.

"Alecia, what the hell do you think you're doing?" he shouted through the door.

"Garrett this is for your own good, now shut up and listen to Jessy," came John's voice. I guessed that Alecia had asked him to help keep the door closed so Garrett couldn't escape.

Garrett gave me a glare and sat down next to me on Kennedy's bed. "This had better be good, Lauren's already waiting for me."

I took a deep breath. "Garrett, you know that a couple of weeks ago I hooked up with John, right?"

"Yeah, you came around to Kennedy's afterwards. What does this have to do with me?"

"I told John, and Kennedy, that I couldn't be with John because I didn't like him in the way I thought I did. When he kissed me, it just didn't feel right. All I could think about was how you kissed me in your car that time, and that was when I realised that during the time that we pretended to date, I had developed real feelings for you. I'd just been trying to deny them for so long because I was still so convinced that I was in love with John, when really I was, and still am, in love with you."

Garrett sat in silence, just looking at me. His silence was making my nerves grow more and more.

"Please, say something Garrett."

"Okay."

I stared at him dumbfounded. "Okay? I just told you that I'm in love with you and that's all you can say to me? I spent weeks trying to figure out why I felt so upset about you not talking to me and all you can say is 'okay'? You know what, Garrett? Maybe I should have had sex with John. Y'know what, maybe I should have dated him. I would have been a hell of a lot happier than I am knowing that you want nothing to do with me. And unlike you, even though John knows that I don't want to be in a relationship with him, he is still friends with me and is still doing things for me. Do you have anything more to say?"

There was a pause. "No," Garrett said quietly.

I sighed. "Alright, I'm done. You can go and find Lauren now. I'll leave you alone since I've said what I want to say to you."

Garrett stood up and walked towards the door.

"Just one more thing, Garrett." He turned and looked at me. "You wanna know why I picked you to help me get to John?" He didn't answer. "Because ever since that night at Kennedy's before I went to Chicago, I knew that you would help me and be there for me. I'm not as strong as everyone thinks I am, I need someone to depend on. It was stupid of me to think that you could be that person."

Garrett looked at me wistfully. "I'm sorry, Jessy-"

"Just leave."

Garrett walked out of Kennedy's bedroom and I felt the tears start up in my eyes. John walked in and just the sight of him made me burst into tears. He pulled me onto his lap and held me as I soaked his shirt in my tears.

"Come on, I'm taking you home. I've only had a few beers. Let's stop by the gas station on the way back and get some ice cream and we can watch every episode of Gossip Girl that exists, okay?"

I didn't speak, only nodded. He helped me stand up and we walked quickly downstairs and grabbed my bag, leaving before anyone could ask what happened.

"I'm just gonna text Kennedy and tell him it didn't go well and I'm taking you home, okay?" I just nodded again, not wanting to talk.

John stopped at the 24/7 gas station on the way back, coming back with a tub of cookie dough Ben and Jerry's and we snuck back into my house, not wanting to wake my parents and try explaining everything to them.

John set up the first season of Gossip Girl on my TV and handed me a spoon for my ice cream. I stabbed my spoon into the ice cream, looking at it before slowly eating it.

Within half an hour, John and I had finished off the carton and we were quietly watching Gossip Girl and holding each other.

"Hey John?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

John kissed the top of my head. "Anytime, Jessy. You're my best friend, nothing will ever change that."

* * * * *

I woke up the next morning and John was gone, a note on the space where he had slept.

"Sorry for leaving without saying goodbye, my mom needed me to help her at home. I'll pick up your car from Kenny's before I go home. If you want to talk or need me for anything, I'm only a phone call away.
Love John xx"

I picked up my phone, expecting a few messages asking where I had gone. Sure enough, I had one from Alecia, and surprisingly one from Garrett as well. Just as I opened up his message, a new one from him came through.

'I'm coming over today, I need to talk to you now that you're sober enough to function properly.'

I felt a pit of dread grow in my stomach. I wasn't prepared to talk about this with Garrett now, although I doubted I would ever want to face Garrett again after last night.

I got changed and made myself some breakfast, needing to eat something after drinking almost a whole bottle of tequila last night.

I had just finished washing the dishes when I heard footsteps in the house. I froze, my heart beating fast as I looked around me for something I could attack the intruder with should they come near me.

Before I could find something, Garrett stepped into my kitchen with a determined look on his face.

"Jesus Christ, fucking knock next time-" Garrett silenced me by kissing me long and hard, holding my face in his hands.

"I'm in love with you too, Jessy," he said after he finally pulled back. I stared at him from a moment, then raised my hand and slapped him across the cheek, taking in his shocked face before pulling his face back into mine to kiss him again. He wrapped his arms around my waist as we stood there, doing nothing but kissing each other. I rested my head on his shoulder after I he pulled away.

"I'm sorry I was a dick to you and I ignored you, I was trying to convince myself that I could live without you but honestly, I can't."

"What about Lauren?"

"Lauren was to me what Rachel was to John, except I wasn't stupid enough to let it develop into an actual relationship."

"John said that she was boring."

"She really was," Garrett chuckled, "Then again, I'd have a hard time finding a girl who could compare to you."

"I'm not sure why, but that gives me a sense of satisfaction. Please inflate my ego some more."

Garrett laughed at me. "Okay then. Remember the first time we kissed in my car?"

"Yeah?"

"I kind of lied. I kissed you because I liked you, not because I wanted to see why everyone else was kissing you. And it was way more than alright."