Caught in the Middle

As Friday grew closer, my confidence in seeing John had waned. On Tuesday I had convinced myself that we'd be good friends again by the time they left for tour, on Wednesday I told myself that we'd at least be friendly and civil and by the time Thursday morning came around I had assured myself that I will have spoken to him by then.

On Thursday afternoon while my parents were at work, someone knocked on the front door. I furrowed my brow as I stood up to answer the door. Everyone would have know that my parents were at work and no-one knew that I was back home, except for...

Kennedy's friendly face greeted me as I opened the door, reminding me of the party the next night which made my anxiety spike.

"Kennedy, what are you doing here?" I asked warily, stepping aside to let him in.

"Just thought I'd pop in, catch up with you before tomorrow night, which you're not allowed to back out of," he said, flopping himself down on the couch as he kicked off his shoes.

"Make yourself at home," I mumbled as I headed into the kitchen. "Did you want something to drink?" I called out as he began flipping through TV channels.

"Any beer?" he asked hopefully. I rolled my eyes as I pulled out two bottles and opened them before going back to the living room and handing one to him before taking a seat in the armchair next to the couch where he was sprawled out watching some horrible daytime TV show.

"So what did you really come over here for? I know it wasn't to watch my TV and drink my dad's beer because you could have done that at your own parents' house."

Kennedy sighed and took a sip of his beer before looking me in the eyes. "How are you Jessy? And don't give me that 'I'm fine' bullshit because after seeing you in the store the other day I know you're not."

I sighed and took a long scull of my beer, needing the alcohol to muster up the confidence to spill everything to Kennedy.

"To put a seven year long story short, I walked into my apartment to find my boyfriend cheating on me and seeing as I had finished school, had no job or other close friends to share a place with I was forced to move back home," I said, looking wistfully down at the beer bottle in my palm.

I heard Kennedy shift to the end of the couch before his hand was at my shoulder. "I'm sorry Jessy, if I'd have known that I probably wouldn't have gone off at you like I did the other day. If you wanna talk about anything, I'm here for you, okay?"

I nodded softly, still looking down at my hands. The silence was becoming unbearably awkward so I quickly changed the subject.

"So, tell me about your band."

Kennedy sat back with a smile on his face. "Well, we're called The Maine. A year after you left we were signed to Fearless Records and we released two albums with them. Then when we wrote the third, they didn't like it so we left the label and released it by ourselves. Now we're about to start writing our next album and we're gonna record it here at the 8123 studio."

"8123?"

"Yeah, that's Tim Kirch's management company. You remember Tim, Pat's brother?"

I did indeed remember Tim and all my memories of him weren't exactly pleasant. He was always incredibly sleazy, especially when he'd get drunk at the parties I'd attend. There were several occasions where John would have to pull him off me as he tried sticking his tongue down my throat.

"Other than that, we're on tour for most of the year, it's weird being home for this long," Kennedy laughed. "We mostly tour around the States but we've been to a heap of overseas places as well."

Sounds like not going to college really paid off for them. They were living the life while I was drowning in student debts due to my unemployed state. I couldn't help but think of the irony of the situation, I'd always tell John he should go to college because the likelihood of the band making it was slim to none and if he went to college he'd be able to get a real job.

"That sounds really awesome, I'm glad everything worked out for you guys," I said softly, wondering what my life would have been like if I hadn't gone to college.

Kennedy put his second empty beer bottle on the coffee table, pushing his feet back into his shoes and standing up.

"Well, I'd better get going, I'll see you tomorrow? No backing out now," he joked. I rolled my eyes as he moved to give me a hug goodbye.

"Yeah yeah, I'll be there, sadly," I said sarcastically. He chuckled at my comment.

"I'll see you then, take care Jessy." He turned and walked out the door just as my mother's car pulled up in the driveway.

I took our empty beer bottles to the trash as she walked into the kitchen.

"Hi honey, was that Kennedy I just saw leaving?" she asked.

"yeah, he just came around for a visit, we had a little talk and a couple of beers," I said nonchalantly.

She pursed her lips, furrowing her brow slightly. "It's good that you're catching up with him honey, but I'm not too sure you should get too attached."

I frowned at her. "Mom, it's not like we're gonna date or anything, we're just hanging out."

"I know, just be careful please? I've heard a lot of stories about what he's like with girls and I don't want you getting hurt again."

"Mom, don't." I gave her a look that told her not to press the topic further and she left it at that and didn't bring Kennedy up for the rest of the night.

* * * * *

I woke up the next morning feeling nauseous about the events of the coming night. I'd have to face everyone that I had left behind with only Kennedy to act as my buffer between their most likely anger and myself.

I spent the day preparing myself, physically and mentally, as I washed and blow dried my hair, applied makeup and picked out an outfit for the night. There were several moments during the day where I had picked up my phone and found Kennedy's name in my contacts to tell him that I wouldn't be coming to the party, however I knew that it would just result in Kennedy coming and picking me up beforehand.

I could barely even eat my dinner that night, gaining worried glances from my parents.

"Are you sure you wanna go to this party Jessy? You're not looking too well right now," my dad worried.

I nodded my head. "Yeah, I wanna go, I'm just a bit nervous about seeing all the guys again," I reassured them.

Once I had eaten as much as I could, which admittedly wasn't much, I went upstairs to give my makeup a final touch up and run my brush through my hair before slipping on my shoes and grabbing my bag.

I walked slowly down the stairs, trying to calm the nerves that had started.

"Are you gonna be okay to drive there?" Mom asked me as I picked up my car keys.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. I'll drive home if I don't drink and if I do then Kenny will give me somewhere to sleep," I convinced her.

"Okay, have fun and be careful please, I know what those boys can get like," she worried. I rolled my eyes.

"Mom, you're forgetting that I used to go to these parties all the time in high school. I'll be fine." I was trying to convince myself more that I'd be fine instead of my mother to be perfectly honest.

I started up my car and headed down the road on my way to Kennedy's place, the nerves growing more and more as I neared the familiar house.

You could tell that Alison was feeling the need to fill her spare time with something now that Kennedy was off with the band, the once scarce front garden was now vibrant and neatly trimmed, looking as if it was attended to each day.

I could hear the voices of many people and a lightly thudding bass line coming from inside the house, a clear sign that the party was in full swing. I took a deep breath and pushed the door open, the music and voices becoming louder. I looked around the room, not seeing many familiar faces until I looked straight ahead of me as Kennedy came walking down the hallway.

"Jessy, glad you made it! Come on, let me get you a drink." He grabbed my hand and pulled my towards the kitchen. He began filling a cup with beer for me as a familiar figure clapped him on the back.

"Kenny, where'd you put those chairs?"

"They're out in the garage. Oh, Jared, you remember Jessy?" Kennedy said to him, gesturing to me.

I'd only met Jared a handful of times in high school, mostly when the boys had a party or the couple of times that I went to their band practices, but he was always nice and fairly quiet, which was a nice change considering I'd be dealing with John and Kennedy's loudness all the time.

"Yeah, I remember you. You were real close with John, right?" he asked.

"Uh, yeah, something like that. I just need to go to the bathroom real quick, I'll be back down soon," I said, taking my beer and heading up to the main bathroom, gaining a few weird looks as friends from high school began to recognise me.

I ran into someone coming out of the bathroom, who I identified to be Garrett Nickelsen, nearly spilling my beer all over the two of us in the process.

"Jessy?" he asked as I pushed my way into the bathroom and closed the door, locking it behind me. I set my beer down on the sink and sat on the floor, resting my elbows on my knees and putting my head in my hands. I couldn't handle all these familiar faces, reminding me of when my life was actually good and I wasn't avoiding certain people.

I took deep breaths, trying to avoid myself from panicking and freaking everyone out. The last time I was at a party was in fact the last party I went to in high school, where Kennedy and John did body shots off me and the 'accidental' kiss happened.

Thinking about John and that kiss brought over a fresh wave of panic and I took a long gulp of beer to try and help calm myself.

There was a knock on the door. "Jessy? You okay in there?" came Kennedy's voice.

I drank the rest of my beer and headed to the door, opening it to find Kennedy, Jared and Garrett all looking at me.

"I need another beer. And possibly some kind of hard liquor," I replied to his question. He looked at me with a smirk.

"Jessy's back."