Lumos

He could see her across the clearing. Watched the life drain out of her, almost; watched her fall backwards, down and down until her body hit the floor. It seemed to arch up from the ground, her hand lolling off to the side, fingers outstretched as though reaching for something.

It made sense for him to fall, too. He felt it hit his chest; a flash of light and then a feeling of emptiness; the sound of cackling laughter in the distance. His body hit the ground right beside hers, and with all that he had left in him he turned his head to the side and watched her.

She looked peaceful. And he thought to himself that maybe they could have it — they could still have peace elsewhere; still that whisper of an unwanted romance that filled every part of him; failing to drain out even with the life that left him.

Harry would do it, he thought to himself. Teddy would be okay — he would have a home, he would be loved, he would know that his daddy loved him more than anything. And maybe they’d tell him stories some day of a monster, but for now it was okay. Because they were safe. All of them. And the fight would continue, and Teddy would grow, and only Remus would be gone.

It was becoming hard to hold on. He wondered why she’d disappeared so quickly while he was left staring at his broken life; watching it fall apart at the seams and disappear. With his remaining strength he held his arm out — stretched it to reach hers. But their fingers remained inches apart.

God, he thought to himself. I need more time with her.

And for once in his life, God listened.

———————————

He knew where he was immediately. It was an image that must have come from a distant memory, one hidden in the back of his mind, prodding at him now as he stood there.

He stood there wordlessly staring at the closed door for a few moments, his palms beginning to sweat as he waited in silence. Eventually he gained the courage and stepped up onto the doorstep, reaching out with hesitant fingers and tapping his knuckles against the wooden frame.

It swung open almost immediately. A tired woman stared back at him, black hair in messy locks upon her shoulders, and when she saw the man in front of her she frowned. “Can I help you?” she asked almost curtly, lips slightly pursed as she surveyed him.

He knew what he must have looked like. An old, weary man that was standing on her doorstep, as pale as a ghost and probably more nervous than he should have been. But he smiled, holding his hand out in front of him. “Remus,” he greeted, “Remus Lupin. I’m an… erm… friend of Sirius.”

The woman frowned, glancing at him up and down with an uncertain look on her features.

“His Professor,” he added quickly, forcing a timid smile as he allowed his hand to drop back to his side.

She she continued purse her lips for a moment or two before she softened. “What do you teach, Professor Lupin?”

It felt odd to be called that again. He thought of Harry — wondered how he was doing, though somehow knew that he was and would be okay.

“Defence Against the Dark Arts,” he said with a slight smile before he lowered his voice. “I’m a part of the Order, too,” he said quietly.

This seemed to be all she needed as she smiled widely and pushed the door open for him. “Andromeda Black,” she greeted kindly, welcoming him into her home. “It’s lovely to meet you, Remus.”

He smiled softly. “You too, of course.” He glanced around for a few moments, eyeing the pictures on the walls with a heavy feeling in his stomach. “You have a lovely home.”

She laughed, waving her hand at him as she led him into the kitchen. “Please,” she said, “it’s a rotten mess and I know it.”

Pulling out a chair for him to sit in, she walked over to the bench and flicked on the kettle. “So tell me, Remus,” she started, glancing at him with light eyes, “how much of a nightmare is that cousin of mine to teach?”

He was unable to stop himself from grinning as he thought about his grey-eyed friend, a warm feeling pooling in his chest as he remembered sitting in the classroom beside him.

“One more shot, Moony,” Sirius would say, dark eyes full of laughter as James snickered beside him. “Let me try to get it in his knickers.”

The memory faded as quickly as it came. The memory of what Sirius had yet to go through replaced it, and he felt his throat tighten and his hands begin to quiver slightly.

“An absolute nightmare,” he responded finally, letting out a quiet laugh. “But I’ve never met anyone with such dedication.”

She smiled, eyes crinkling at the corners as she leaned down to grab two mugs from the cupboard under the sink. “That’s Sirius for you,” she laughed, glancing back at him. “Loyal as a dog but as downright mischievous as one too.”

His lips curled at the corners. “Couldn’t agree more,” he told her quietly.

After pouring the boiling water and placing tea bags inside each mug, she walked over to the table and placed one in front of him. “Not the best stuff,” she said, nodding at the tea. “Ted’s out of a job at the moment, you see.”

The name caused something to tug at his stomach. “I’m sorry,” he said.

She smiled, pulling out a chair and sitting beside him. “Not to worry,” she amended, waving off his words. “Ted isn’t all that bothered. It means that he gets more time with Dora, I suppose.”

His stomach knotted.

“S’pose I better check on her, eh?” Andromeda said, letting out a slight laugh that broke him out of his thoughts. “Always seem to forget I’m a mother when I sit down. Doesn’t happen all too often, you see.”

He smiled slightly and placed his mug back on the table. “Enjoy your break while you have it,” he said, giving her a kind smile. “I’d be happy to check on her if you like.” At her skeptical look, he swiftly added: “Sirius has mentioned her a few times. He seems to care about her rather a lot.”

The woman looked unsure for a moment and then she smiled. “Why not?” she said eventually. “Are you a father yourself?”

His lips quirked ever so slightly. “I have a son,” he said with a small smile, before clearing his throat and looking down at the table. “We call him Teddy.”

Andromeda let out a loud laugh, tilting her head to the side as she looked at him. “What an odd coincidence,” she laughed. “Maybe some day him and Dora will be friends.”

He glanced down at his fingers, his lips curling at the corners into a tender smile. “Some day,” he agreed.

The woman continued to eye him softly for a few moments before she spoke. “Go on, then,” she said teasingly, nudging at him with her finger. “Up the stairs and first door to the right.”

He was unable to stop himself from grinning, and he quickly nodded his head, pushing his chair backwards and standing up. “Right,” he exclaimed, patting down his jacket mindlessly. “I’ll be back in a minute, then.”

She grinned at him, lifting her mug of tea to her lips. “She can be a bit of a nightmare, just so you know.” He simply smiled. “Got a loud mouth on her for a four year old, she does.”

Remus laughed, a warmness pooling in his stomach. “I can imagine.”

With that said he began to climb the stairs slowly, a heaving feeling of anticipation pooling in his stomach as he walked. When he made it to the top he hesitated; fear gripping at his heart, the memory of losing her almost too much to bear.

He had to see her again, though. One last time before they awakened wherever they were to awaken.

He pushed open the door, his heart pounding as he stepped into the room. She was there, of course, playing with her hair from her position on the rug, giggling as she changed the colour and looked at it with her fingers.

“Dora,” he greeted softly, and the child glanced up, staring at him in confusion. “I’m Remus. I’m a… friend of your cousin.” At the child’s wide, doe-eyed stare, he rambled on. “You probably don’t even know what a cousin is, do you? Never mind, then. Androme— your, ah, mother sent me up here.” A pause. “What are you… erm… what are you doing there?”

Good Lord, he was awful at this. He briefly wondered whether he would be just as horrible at it with Teddy, or whether it would come naturally. With a tired sigh he reminded himself that it wouldn’t matter.

“Ree-mus,” came a voice, startling him out of his thoughts.

His lips quirked into a large smile. “Yes,” he told her. “You’re very smart, you know.”

The young child grinned at him. “What are you doing here?” she asked him. “Where’s mummy?”

Remus choked back a laugh. “Always the blunt one,” he muttered to himself before smiling and walking over to the girl. “I’m here to play with you. My… is your hair purple?”

Dora giggled, pressing her fingers against her lips as her hair changed to green. Remus let out a dramatic gasp. “Green now? You must be magical!”

The child gave him a toothy grin. “Mumma says I am. Are you magical too, Ree-mus?” she asked him, seeming to soften up to the older man.

Giving her a slight smile, he pulled his wand out of his pocket and pointed it at the cup of water sitting on her bedside. Muttering a spell, the child gasped as the water transfigured into chocolate milk. Scrambling to get herself off the floor, Dora stumbled a bit as she reached for the cup. When she turned back to look at him, beaming, he pressed his fingers against his lips. “Shh,” he told her, smiling behind his finger.

Pressing her finger against her lips, Dora replied, “Shh.”

After she finished her chocolate milk, the young child settled herself down beside him. “Will I be magical like that one day?”

Remus smiled. “I’m sure you’ll be wonderfully magical one day.”

Dora beamed, banging her hands against the carpet. “Lots of chocolate milk!” she exclaimed.

His lips quirked at the corners. “You’ll have to share some with me,” Remus told her earnestly.

The child bit her lip and nodded, before letting out a giggle as her hair changed colours again.

Remus let out a dramatic gasp. “Pink!” he exclaimed loudly, trying to overlook the heaviness in his stomach. Trying not to remember the way she’d looked beside him. “Can you teach me how to do that?”

Dora giggled and shook her head. “You’d look silly with pink hair,” she told him through her giggles.

Remus’ lips curled into a large smile as he reached out to touch his hair. “No,” he told her, fighting back a smile, “I think I’d look very pretty.”

Dora laughed again, fingers pressed against her lips. “No,” she told him. “You’re a boy.”

Remus laughed. “A very old one.”

It started happening before he knew what it was. The room began to jumble a little, the paintings on the wall tilting on their sides, the paint on the walls losing their colour. He began to panic a little, looking out at the child in front of him, knowing that he’d been given his chance.

“I have to go now, Dora,” he whispered to her.

The young girl frowned, lower lip jutting out as she sat down beside him. “Will I see you soon?” she asked him.

His lips quirked a little at the corners. “Sooner than you can imagine,” he promised her.

“Where are you going?” she asked as he started to fade.

His throat tight, he pressed his finger against his lips. “Magic,” he whispered. And then her room was gone.

———————————

He was beside her again. Her pink hair was laid in ruffles about her head, wide eyes staring out at nothing. A warm feeling filled his chest as he looked at her, feeling the life fading from him. He could barely hear the sounds of the war going on around him — could barely feel the breeze as it trickled against his skin. Harry would win, he told himself. Teddy will be safe.

He looked at his wife again. Felt his heart fading, the room spinning again, though knew that he wouldn’t be waking up at the doorstep this time — knew that he’d had his chance. And he was thankful for every minute spent with her.

“Sooner than you can imagine,” he whispered to her, stretching out his fingers as his eyes fluttered shut.

Their hands touched and then the life left him.