Ghost
I Need You Tonight
I watch you with your arms beside her wrist. I watch you holding her so close to yourself that I’m afraid she'll break. I watch you kiss her senselessly, like she's the diamond that makes your eyes shine. I watch you share with her every emotion that you're feeling. I watch you whisper in her ear that you love her more than everything, and I know that it's all pretends. Because I know that the part of you that is hiding, the part of you that is so frightened by the fear of losing her, wants to do all of those things to me.
I know because you told me more than once. I know because at a time, I used to be the one that you shared all of this with. I know because I was the one whom you were holding close at night. I was the one that you were whispering your love to in their ear. I was the one that you showed your love to, without any fear crowding the back of your eyes. I was the one that had the ultimate chance to be held close to your heart. It was me that he would tell his love and all of his beautiful words to. You just had to believe with how much sincerity he was putting in them.
You were mine before; all mine before you realized that being with a guy wouldn't be good for you. We both were so young and so in love. We still weren't that open. We were so afraid that we would be lost in the sea of people around us if we told them how much we truly love each other, but now with all the time that passed, I know that it wasn’t your biggest fear. Now I know that you were too afraid that being with me would destroy every popularity that you could ever have. I know that being with me scared you down to your bones, and I regret ever feeling so much for you. Because for me, it was my feelings for you that scared me down to my bones. So strong that I would had done everything to be in your arms all the time. I would had given up my entire life to be the one in public with you. Still to this day, I would do everything that you asked me, to the most degrading thing, to the most beautiful one, to be her. I would be your slave if it meant that you would take me back. I would do everything to be your everything, just like you're trying to make everyone believe that she is your everything.
I wonder if your heart beats as fast as it did with me, when you're holding her so close to you that you bodies almost make two, or if you're just faking it so she doesn't worry about your love for her. I wonder if you get tears in your eyes when she kisses you so much that you forget how to breathe and admire her intensely. I know you always did with me. I wonder if you have the urge to hold her close to you all the time, no matter if it's just cuddling, kissing or way more than that, because when we were a whole, you had to had me beside you. You had to or you would explode and feel like crap. I know that you're always taking her in your arms, but I also know that it's bullshit. I can see the look in your eyes, the one that tells me that it's not exactly what you want. I've been with you for more than a year. I can decode you gesture by gesture. I know that there is a little glaze that often shows in the back of your eyes when you feel it all inside of you that it's not the right thing to do, but you still do it, for whatever purpose it is.
I can see it by the way you bring her close to you. It's rushed and not done by your heart. I can see that you need to force yourself to make it while smiling at the best of your possibilities. I can see it by the way your eyes don't completely close when you kiss her. I can see that you would rather be kissing someone else. I can see by the way that you tell everyone about her, with so much joy and hope. I know that you much rather keep the ones you truly love secret in fear that someone else realize how good they are and that they get taken away from you.
I wrote down the question that is hurting me so much, the only one that even matters anymore What's her name? What's she like? Does she know that you'll never treat her right? all over my notebook and torn apart the pages before throwing them everywhere, hoping that one day she finds one of those and understands that the angel she thinks she is dating is actually the demon.
I know because you told me more than once. I know because at a time, I used to be the one that you shared all of this with. I know because I was the one whom you were holding close at night. I was the one that you were whispering your love to in their ear. I was the one that you showed your love to, without any fear crowding the back of your eyes. I was the one that had the ultimate chance to be held close to your heart. It was me that he would tell his love and all of his beautiful words to. You just had to believe with how much sincerity he was putting in them.
You were mine before; all mine before you realized that being with a guy wouldn't be good for you. We both were so young and so in love. We still weren't that open. We were so afraid that we would be lost in the sea of people around us if we told them how much we truly love each other, but now with all the time that passed, I know that it wasn’t your biggest fear. Now I know that you were too afraid that being with me would destroy every popularity that you could ever have. I know that being with me scared you down to your bones, and I regret ever feeling so much for you. Because for me, it was my feelings for you that scared me down to my bones. So strong that I would had done everything to be in your arms all the time. I would had given up my entire life to be the one in public with you. Still to this day, I would do everything that you asked me, to the most degrading thing, to the most beautiful one, to be her. I would be your slave if it meant that you would take me back. I would do everything to be your everything, just like you're trying to make everyone believe that she is your everything.
I wonder if your heart beats as fast as it did with me, when you're holding her so close to you that you bodies almost make two, or if you're just faking it so she doesn't worry about your love for her. I wonder if you get tears in your eyes when she kisses you so much that you forget how to breathe and admire her intensely. I know you always did with me. I wonder if you have the urge to hold her close to you all the time, no matter if it's just cuddling, kissing or way more than that, because when we were a whole, you had to had me beside you. You had to or you would explode and feel like crap. I know that you're always taking her in your arms, but I also know that it's bullshit. I can see the look in your eyes, the one that tells me that it's not exactly what you want. I've been with you for more than a year. I can decode you gesture by gesture. I know that there is a little glaze that often shows in the back of your eyes when you feel it all inside of you that it's not the right thing to do, but you still do it, for whatever purpose it is.
I can see it by the way you bring her close to you. It's rushed and not done by your heart. I can see that you need to force yourself to make it while smiling at the best of your possibilities. I can see it by the way your eyes don't completely close when you kiss her. I can see that you would rather be kissing someone else. I can see by the way that you tell everyone about her, with so much joy and hope. I know that you much rather keep the ones you truly love secret in fear that someone else realize how good they are and that they get taken away from you.
I wrote down the question that is hurting me so much, the only one that even matters anymore What's her name? What's she like? Does she know that you'll never treat her right? all over my notebook and torn apart the pages before throwing them everywhere, hoping that one day she finds one of those and understands that the angel she thinks she is dating is actually the demon.