‹ Prequel: Regret
Sequel: Words
Status: Drabble/Complete/Finished

Solitude

Solitude 1/1

Image

I see you five days a week, thirty minutes a day, five minutes after every lesson ends, and only at school break. You are a lonely girl who is always alone, trying to hide from life. You let your dyed, dark red hair fall freely on your back as you smoke, and like every other day a bunch of silver rings and bracelets are on your hands as well as a tattoo of a crying angel on the right side of your back. The angel looks like you and it feels like you are the one crying.

I can't imagine how much hurt you carry inside your heart and soul, but I want to know how you cope since it seems you're hanging on by the end of your rope. And then again, there are times when I see you crying while holding your mobile phone close to your ear. I hear you saying sorry over and over again, telling that person how much you love him, yet he isn’t responding to your feelings. And I’m always there, watching you from afar.

Despite the smatter of warm rain, your heart stays cold and dry. No one can warm you up, because the keys to your heart are lost. When there is a crowd near you, you keep everything to yourself. You hide your crying face behind sunglasses and look at the floor. And I want to end your pain…only because I hate seeing your tears fall like rain.

I know how you can't trust anyone and how you don't trust yourself. I know you’re a junkie but I love you no less, and secretly I hope that God will bless your lost soul. I know there's never really been anyone there for you other than those one night stands which are just to have someone to hold on to. I know how worthless you think you are afterwards and the pain of feeling a loss. I know you give in to those moments of weakness but girl; everyone has something they are not proud of.

I always watch you and I’m trying to see through your eyes without even really knowing you. We never really talked but still… I wish I could help you but these small wings of mine cannot create miracles, like giving you wings to fly. All I can do is watch as you fall apart while you are smoking your addiction. And to think I even know the sound your Converse shoes create when they touch the ground, those welcoming sounds signalizing you’re near me.

We are just a few steps away from each other but while I want to give you everything, you'll give me nothing. I love you, and you don’t give a damn.