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Forever; The Devil's Angel

Final Words

6 Months Before


Desperation? Maybe that was the word for what she was feeling at the moment. A desperation to find the truth, to know what actually happened. She was scared and she admitted it to herself. If Katherine wasn't who she thought she was, then she would really be alone in this world but having no friend was better than having one that would betray you the moment things got out of hands but then it was Katherine she was talking about, she would never let things get out of hand and that was the crux of her problem.

Even if she found out that Katherine was using her, what was she willing to do about it? Katherine would still want to use her for whatever thing she had to use her for and that would be the ultimate problem. Maya shook her head. She was going crazy and how ungrateful she was to think that way about Katherine, the only person who was ever there for her, who held her hand through darkest of times and supported her. She was ungrateful and she was selfish but God, she still wanted to know.

She hadn't been here a lot, just a couple of times with Katherine and of course, she wasn't the one that did the talking, or any kind of talk for that matter. She just stood at the back and smiled occasionally and glared frequently at the Vanessa girl that was really a pain in the ass which was why she was sure that she wasn't on the welcome list and definitely on the kick out if ever shows up list.

Maya sighed as she entered the room, her gait was casual as ever but her eyes were doing a critical analysis of about everything that held her attention. "What are you doing here?" the voice reached her ears and Maya turned around, that little bounce in her shoulder as she gave her the best smirk she was capable of.

"And wonderful to meet you too," she paused, "Vanessa, was it?"

Vanessa rolled her eyes, "What do you want?" she asked.

"You actually want to help," Maya was in shock as to speak, "I thought you would..."

"Not everyone is a bitch," Vanessa replied as she went forward to stack the books that were lying on the floor, "Honestly, I just want you out so, the quicker we get to the matter, the better," she shrugged her shoulders as she kept arranging the books on the floor according to their serial number.

"Fair enough," Maya mumbled as she bent down to sit beside her and quietly started to arrange the books with her. Vanessa watched her in shock for a moment before she blinked her eyes.

"Are you ok?" she asked and Maya was taken aback. She really wasn't the bitch she thought as she looked at her.

"Yeah," Maya shrugged, "Yeah, I'm fine. I just...I'm sorry for before," she said and realized how easy it was to apologize and how much better she felt already without Vanessa even acknowledging her apology.

"You're creeping me out," Vanessa replied, her eyes narrowed at Maya who gave her a small smile and a nod. She knew that. She felt creepy just saying the words but it still felt good. For a moment there, she heard the very Mia like part in her, the good one and frankly, that scared the hell out of her. She didn't want to be the person that Mia was. That would be just insane and pathetic but she was a nice person.

It was official. Her brain was fried and was backfiring her every sane thought. Just peachy, she thought. "I don't exactly know what I'm doing here," Maya admitted, "I was just here because..." she paused, "I don't know. I felt like maybe," Maya closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She was not the type to get tongue tied or not answer anything that was on her mind. She was pretty outspoken but right now, she felt so small, like a child who knows what they want but can't communicate and end up crying and wailing because the parents think they're hungry while all they want is that toy they played with four days ago.

"Everytime, Katherine need answers, she comes here and she knows exactly what to ask. I, on the other hand, don't know what to ask," Maya finally opened up and saw Vanessa look at her with total understanding which was surprising to her.

"I know," She replied, "Isobel and Katherine. They know all the right questions to get all the right answers," Vanessa chuckled.

"Isobel?" She gaped at Vanessa, "You know Isobel?"

Vanessa looked at her like she had lost her mind, "Isobel, yes," she said, "It's her library. She did all the research here," she looked around at all the book stacks and research papers and Maya followed her gaze.

"I didn't know that," she replied looking around her in awe. Her mother was a genius researcher. She felt proud and happy at the fact but the questions and doubts in her mind exceeded her thought capacity. "So, when did Isobel did all this work?" she asked.

"While she was in college and even after that," she replied, "She was always looking for something even after her marriage," she told her.

"Her marriage?" Maya was curious. The way she talking about Isobel, Maya got a pretty fair idea that Isobel didn't die after she was born and Mia might be right about that one.

Vanessa smiled, "Yes, she married Alaric. They were like total sweethearts," her smile just got bigger and Maya raised her eyebrows and drew in a long breath, digesting the information.

"When did they got married?" she asked.

"Right after college," Vanessa replied absentmindedly as the books captivated all her attention. She sighed, "But then she died and Alaric came here with some of his friends, the one that looked like Katherine..."

"Elena?" Maya questioned, "Alaric knew Elena?"

"Yes," she smiled, "And Damon Salvatore," she looked up at her and smiled, "He's such a hottie but a total jerk," she raised her brow and shook her head, "Still, I enjoyed the interaction," she shrugged.

"Hmm," Maya sighed. She remembered that one but as much as she liked to talk about Damon, he wasn't the important one now. She had to meet this Alaric guy, "So, where do you think I can find Alaric?" she asked.

"Alaric?" Vanessa looked up at her and furrowed her eyebrows at her, "Why are you so interested in Alaric anyway?"

"Wrong," Maya said, "I'm interested in Isobel but she's...dead and I want to know about her and the life she lead and..."

"Why?"

"Because," Maya paused and wondered if it was such a good idea to let it out, "Because I'm her daughter," she finally said.

Surprise didn't even begin to cover what Vanessa felt at her words. Daughter? Isobel's daughter? "I didn't know she had a daughter," she mused, "Alaric never mentioned it and he came here a lot after her death. He wanted to find something which obviously he never told me about," she said almost in her own thoughts, "Maybe, he was looking for you," she said and then suddenly got up, "He lived in Mystic Falls, the last I heard of him. He never returned back though," she went to the last cabinet and pulled out a small wooden box, "Here," she handed her a letter, "After he visited for the last time, I found this letter addressed to him and I thought I would give it to him when he comes back but like I said, he didn't return," she shrugged.

"Umm," Maya was speechless. This girl was such a talker, "Thanks."

"No problem," Vanessa shrugged, "Give it to him when you find him and you look a little old to be their daughter by the way," she said finally looking at her properly, "But you do look like her, a little."

"Uh," Maya started, "I don't think, I'm Alaric's daughter either but I'm willing to look for him," she said, "When did...when did she die?"

"Oh," Vanessa stared at her, "You don't know that?" she asked in disbelief.

"No," Maya replied firmly, "She let me go before her marriage to Alaric, I suppose," she sighed, "I just started looking for her," she gave herself a nod.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Vanessa stated at her sob story, "It's been four years, I guess."

"It's alright," Maya said as she waved the letter in her hand, "Thanks for the help," she smiled at her as she started to make her exit, "And I'll say your regards to Alaric when I find him," she said and Vanessa smiled at her.

"Ok," she said, "Take care," she waved her hand.

Maya felt the burden falling back on her the moment she exit the building. So, it was true. The things that Elena had told her at Elijah's house. Isobel was alive all that time and had died just a few years ago and if Elena's story was really true, then it meant that Isobel was a vampire and killed herself, in front of her. It also meant that Fiorella, Mia's mother was really innocent and had no hand in killing her mother and all those years that she hated her and Mia was a total waste. Who knew, maybe, her father was an innocent victim in all of this too. Maybe, he never really knew that she existed and Katherine...?

Katherine had lied all her life because she knew that Maya was the only one that could overthrow the real angel and she also knew that she would never betray Katherine which made her the perfect player in Katherine's game. It hurt a lot more than she expected to know that Katherine was really using her and it hurt a lot more to know that her mother abandoned her on her own will and the people she hated weren't worth that kind of hatred that she had harbored in her heart for them. It hurt a little more to know that Mia and Elena were both right and that she had just made a fool of herself in front of them.

She kept walking in oblivion as she came across an empty parking lot and sat down, her head in her hands as she waited for the tears to hit the floor but none came. She was almost numb but the pain of betrayal was too loud to be completely silenced as it roared to life time and time again and as each second ticked by, she felt the enormous weight in her pocket, the letter that rested there. She was impatient, way too curious to know what that letter said, what Isobel had to tell Alaric. Sighing, she brought the letter from her pocket in front of her and stared at it for a long time, her mind clogging with questions.

Putting a finger inside the opening space of the envelope, Maya tore open the seal and took out the letter with a trembling hand. Her heart rate kicked up a notch as she eyed it. Somewhere inside of her, she had to find that courage to read it, to be a part of whatever truth her mother had written and she knew it wasn't right, wasn't her place to just open and read but who knew where Alaric was or if he even cared and if knew Elena, then it meant he knew Mia and with that, Maya was sure he wouldn't give a damn about her. She encouraged herself, talked herself into it because she just 'had' to know.

Dear Ric,

There's so much I have to say but...
I'm so sorry. I don't even know where to start...
I wish things would be different...


If this letter is in your hands, then it's really sad because it only means that I've gone for good but it's a blessing too for now you're free, away from the world that I was a part of and I wish you would stay away because that's all I could ever ask for.

I know that I've always been a mystery to you and as much as it was part of my appeal, it also meant grave danger for you, something I didn't account for when I met you, got to know you and eventually fell in love with you because I'm a selfish person and you made me so happy for all the little things you did for me, the way you cared and looked at me...even stalked me that I couldn't talk myself out of it and I fell hard.

You were the first person with whom I could be myself even if I had to hide an entire part of myself from you but that was all because I thought I was protecting you and maybe, I did. I hope I did. I hope, I kept you away from all my stupid thoughts about supernatural but that hope vanished the moment I saw you in Mystic Falls trying to look for the one you thought had killed me but the simple truth is that I'm not dead and nobody killed me even though I feel that moment might be coming soon.

Ric, I always wanted to be honest with you which is why I'm writing you this letter, to let you know because I don't think the truth will hurt you now. Maybe, it doesn't make sense...me writing it now but I owe it to you, Ric. I owe you the truth and you certainly deserve it. I hope you understand and forgive me all in due time and I hope that you'll still see me as the Isobel you loved after learning the truth.

It all started when I gave birth to Elena Gilbert, the girl I know, you know. I had her at a time when I wasn't ready but it never meant that I didn't love her. I did. I loved that little angel in my arms so much but I had no idea what having her meant. I'm a Petrova, you see. My daughter meant the survival of my bloodline. My daughter meant that she might be the next doppelganger in the world and I didn't want that. I didn't wish that kind of life upon my daughter because I knew what that meant. So, I hid her in the best way I knew, in the best way I could even if it meant that I never got a chance to see her but knowing that she was safe meant everything to me.

I didn't even tell Katherine about her, though she was my best friend but I knew Katherine. I knew if Elena turned out to be the carbon copy of Katherine, she would use her to get away from Klaus and I couldn't let her use my daughter as a bait to earn her own freedom. So, I let her go and thought about her every day and it pained me but I had to be a better mother to her.

I don't know but during that depressing period in my life, I got closer to Katherine than ever because she honored the importance of trust and secrets. She just made me feel safe and protected and I craved that feeling more than anything. It was during my stay with her that I met Antonio. Katherine had met Antonio in a bar drinking his troubles away and she brought him home. I didn't know at the time but now that I think about it, I can't believe I was so stupid and blind that I couldn't see the way she was trying to set me up with him. She kept repeating that he was a Markowitz, like it was something important but I couldn't care about who he was.

I just knew that he was lost and it made me want to help him. He looked so vulnerable sitting in front of me, it was hard to resist for me to know more about him. He was also gorgeous so, that was also the plus point. I remember we both talked for hours that day and I felt lighter than I had in years. His presence alone was calm and soothing and I reveled in that feeling of being close. He was the most knowledgeable and inquisitive person I had ever met and that drew me to him putting aside the fact that he was married and the troubles in his married life were the reason that he was in the States.

He was just a friend that I never I had and I was always comfortable with him, well, as long as it was just me and him but I remember as soon as Katherine came over, she always used to refer to us as the most beautiful couple she had ever seen. I should've known then but I was scared and I didn't want to lose him yet. I just wasn't ready to let him go.

I regret the day that I revoked my friendship with him. It was my fault. His wife had called him, asking for divorce and he spent the entire day in the bar, drinking and when he came to me as a friend, I just jumped him. I blame my own sorrow because it was Elena's third birthday that day and I was an emotional wreck but it was no excuse to what I did. I hated myself for it in the years to come.

Just to gain some consolation of what I did, I urged him to mend things with his wife and eventually he left asking me to keep in contact with him but very soon I found about my pregnancy and I couldn't bring myself to tell him the truth because, in all honesty, I was ashamed and embarrassed. I didn't want him to judge me so, I never called him, never kept contact and he never came back to the States. We were done but Katherine was over the moon and I often wondered why? She always told me that Mia was like a daughter to her, the one she had lost so long ago and at that time, I believed her.

My Mia was a year old when I first met you and Elena would've been four at the time but you made me feel like a sixteen year old who came to realize that the most popular guy in school was interested in her and that made me feel giddy with happiness. You were just...you with that charming smile and that crazy song you sang to me outside the campus but I knew my life and I thought you would just run away once you get to know me but you were way too adorable for a guy in mid-twenties and kept on trying.

I remember that I filed restraining order against you...Twice because you were so persistent but I missed not having you around me and I lifted the ban. I just couldn't stop myself and that was the best thing about you. You made me want to open up and live. You gave me hope and inspiration and I loved you. I want you to know that I love you. I want to love you. I always will love you.

You were the best thing that happened to me and I hated that I had to lie to you. You deserved so much better than me but when I saw you with Jenna...I was jealous and it hurt but I'm glad you have her. I hope she gives you everything I held back. I wish she becomes everything to you because you love deeply and truly and you deserve someone who can do that without hesitation.

Now, as I come to think about it, it wasn't until I had started doing my research while leaving Mia with Katherine that I came upon the Markowitz family history. It was the day that I realized the meaning of her continuous ramble about Antonio being a Markowitz. They were the pure bloods, the family in which the next Guardian was to be born and I soon understood that my daughter was the one of the twins that had the power to become an angel and all that while Katherine knew it. She was the one who pushed me to pursue a relationship with Antonio...just to gain an upper hand.

By the time I found all of it, you and I were married and I had already given up Mia because Katherine really loved her and in between all the twisted things that my life was, I wanted her to have a normal, happy childhood. I went over to Katherine anyway and we fought about the dirty game she played with me and all her vicious plans regarding my daughter. I cried like a baby that day because it was really pathetic to have your both daughters left to the devices of other people while you watch and do nothing. She wouldn't let me have her. She wouldn't let me have Mia and she had told her that I was dead. My two year old daughter thought I was dead.

I didn't know what to do, Ric. I was so desperate and sour afterwards that I thought the only one who could help me take revenge from Katherine was the one she was truly afraid of. I wasn't thinking and I thought I made the biggest decision of my life that day when I started to look for Niklaus Mikaelson. Katherine disappeared with my Mia and I tried to track her but couldn't find her and then when I had enough resources, I didn't want to find them. I wanted Klaus to do that for me and I wanted my daughter come to the realization herself that she was lied to her whole life.

I wanted my girl to be strong enough to handle the truth, to be bold enough to do something about it. I wanted to know that her mother wasn't some slut who slept with people and abandoned her children. I wanted Katherine to tell her herself that she had played us all. I wanted her to hear the truth from Katherine herself as she lost at her own game. I had it all planned out, Ric. How I was going to tell you the truth? How was I going to bring Elena and Mia together as sisters? How was I going to meet Antonio and tell him about his daughter and letting his daughter Maya Markowitz befriend my girls?

I wanted to atone for my mistakes. I wanted to set things right. I wanted to bring the people I loved together but it all changed just because I wanted a revenge. It is poison, I know that. Katherine always said that 'Revenge is sweet.' I realized soon that it was poison. It took away lives and dreams, destroyed hopes and aspirations. It was a monster but I should've known it already. I should've known better than to follow Katherine's words.

I found him after so many years. After tracking him down for a decade, I finally got hold of him. I knew, I couldn't tell him about Elena because she looked more like Katherine every day and I was scared for her especially after I found about the sacrifice, the sun and moon curse which was the reason Katherine was running from him in the first place. I told him about Mia though and how I felt betrayed by Katherine and I told him that I wanted her dead. He listened to me so carefully and made me feel special. He ensured me time and time again that he would make her pay and I believed him every time.

I was a human that time and well, as expected by a feared vampire, he asked me to do him favors, to not tell anyone anything and get close to Katherine. I had started to follow Damon Salvatore because he was looking for Katherine. Poor guy was under the illusion that Katherine was in the tomb. I guess, she made fool out of everyone. I found that he was back in Mystic Falls and good for me, Katherine was following Damon and I reunited with her, became her friend like Klaus asked me to but in the meantime, I started to feel weak with Klaus and his gang of vampire friends which is why I asked Damon to turn me.

I thought being a vampire might give me a edge but despite me being a researcher, I didn't know that the Originals could even compel a vampire which is exactly what Klaus did. He found out about Elena and thought I wasn't loyal to him. He has me under his spell, Ric. There's nothing I can do. I can't even talk about it with anyone. Thankfully, I can write and obvious enough, you're the only one I wanted to talk to because I know that you're the only who would understand.

It was during that time, I gave you the Gilbert ring. You were entitled to it. You were Elena Gilbert’s stepfather after all and you were in danger because of me. When I became the vampire, I was afraid that I would hurt you in some way and I disappeared, letting you think that I had died for which I'm truly sorry. I didn't want to do that, to cause you that sort of pain but you and I both know that it was for the best. You met Elena and Jenna who are both amazing women.

It started out simple enough but there are so many people involved and Klaus will do anything and everything to break his curse. He has agreed though for the time being that he wouldn't hurt Elena and he wants me to give him Katherine. He said that he would make her suffer like he promised me. He also promised me that he would set me free but I think we all know what that means and to be honest, I'm ready now. I'm tired, Ric, of all the games and planning and immortality isn't as nice as I thought it was. It has changed me into a darker version of myself. I hardly recognize myself in the mirror anymore but you...You always pull me back from becoming my own worst nightmare. Every time, I look at our ring, I'm reminded of you and I want to honor that. I try to honor that.

Its night right here in Mystic Falls and I just returned to my quarters after visiting Elena. She was sleeping. She looked so beautiful, don't you think? I think her beauty will only grow though I'm scared for her, I know that she will be fine. She is surrounded by people who love her and care about her. I would like to confess that I'm not a big fan of the Salvatore brothers and their obsession gets to dangerous limits but it is clear that they are concerned about her which is why I think they will help her be safe.

Elena is so young and naive right now and I hate that she has been dragged into this whole supernatural world. I worry for Mia. As much as I want her to stay away from it, I know Katherine would put her in the middle of it, right in the center of her drama filled life and I can only hope that Mia is sensible enough to stay away. Alaric, if you ever find it in your heart to forgive, I would like you to find Mia. I would like you to tell her that I loved her and I wanted only the best for her but I wasn't exactly the best role model there was to offer with all the wrong choices I made.

It was all my fault. I drove the people who loved me away because I couldn't let go and because I was insecure and scared. I felt that the life dealt me all the wrong cards at the all the wrong times but it's unfair to life. I made my own choices and it was a fair share of mistakes. I'm no saint and I deserve whatever my destiny has planned for me but my daughters and you...you don't deserve it. You don't deserve the pain and sufferings I've brought on you and for that I'm sorry.

I love you, Alaric.

I know how much you love to hear that from me but I don't say that only because I know it's what you want. I say it because when I say it, I feel good. It feels good to say the one thing with purity from my heart. It feels good to tell you the one truth among many lies that I wove in your life. I'm really, really sorry that it has taken such terribly long time for me to tell you the truth and I want you to forgive me because I know, I wouldn't be able to get any peace without it. I need it, Alaric. I need your forgiveness.

I always found it hard to understand what it meant to love someone after you've died many deaths but finding you after losing both daughters, I finally understood what love meant and what it felt like, to hold someone, to comfort, to share and take care. I have loved you in so many different ways at different times. I have regrets, Ric. So many of them and I feel all of them in full circle with full force because I know what tomorrow brings and I don't want to be alone tonight.

My hands are tired but I can't stop. I don't want to stop. I want to tell you over and over again that I love you and that I'm sorry and I wish that I would've done things differently but there's no time travel and world is not a wish granting factory so, I guess I'm stuck here. Don't think for even a moment that I not talking to you was somehow your fault. It wasn't. The decision was mine completely and you were the only person I wanted to be honest with.

Now, don't feel bad that I'm gone. Feel relieved and hope that you stay away from the kind of darkness that was me. I don't know what happens after death. What is afterlife and what it feels like but if it is some place where I can see you, be sure that I will. I will watch over you and help you if I can and if I can't then, I'll just wait by the door for you to come when you live out to be a hundred year old with fun, joyous, and fulfilling life.

If I look back at my life and pinpoint the highlights of it, you, Mia and Elena would make it to the top. Having you as a husband and a lover was the most colorful period of my dark life and Elena and Mia, my beautiful daughters were the splashes of the color that lead me to you. Know that I've loved all three of you with a complete heart and eternal, bottomless and ever blooming love that knows no bound and reaches no limit because what I feel for you is final and all encompassing, a being of its own.

Watch out for each other. Love and protect each other. Forgive each other.

Life's a bitch but enjoy it anyway.

I'm sorry to all three of you.

Yours eternally,
Isobel.


Maya wiped away the tear with her index finger and sniffled. Truth was powerful and no matter how much you treat it as water, it always prevailed like oily layer in the glass, depressing the water in which it was present. Katherine? Oh, no matter how much she tried, she couldn't believe that Katherine was the true villain amongst them and with everything clear in front of her, for the first time in her life, Maya knew what to do with her life.

She had to redeem herself and for that, she would have to lie, deceit, make everyone believe in the wrong but in the end, she knew it would work. It had to do. It was the only thing she knew how to do now. She had caused so much damage and now she had to offer a remedy for it. She had to think of the parties involved and what she could do for them. Very slowly as she thought about it, a perfect plan formed in her mind and she smiled at herself. Now, all she had to do was wait for the right time and then strike, taking all the wrong ones down to let the right ones rise and live the way they deserve.

She could only hope. Hope that no matter how far she had gone in the realms of evil, she could still turn around and do some best of things through which people could remember her by. She had made mistakes but she was ready now to admit them and going through her plan was the only thing that could help her escape the past, to give her the power to break the chains of hate, bitterness and resentment she felt after learning the truth.
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There you go. One last chapter to go. Hope you're as excited as I am.