Forever; The Devil's Angel

"You can go to hell," Damon muttered in his mouth frustrated as he threw the book to the wall which landed with a thud on the floor. He closed his eyes as he took a deep breath. Getting up, he opened the curtains and stared at the black sky with million stars twinkling at him. The moon hung low on the sky, bathing everything in its silver glow, illuminating otherwise dark night.

"Who are you?" he asked nobody, looking at the sky but the image of her as a live feed was etched in his brain. Her eyes, her hair, her perfectly sinful lips, the way she tilted towards him, the way she tried to make him understand something important with her deep, magical eyes. He groaned again.

It had been a week now and he had never been so focused on learning magic as he was now. He had decoded a hundred spells and even performed the harmless ones but the one he needed was the one he couldn't find.

After seeing the bar girl, he knew he had some personal mind problem. He just couldn't remember whatever it was and that's what frustrated him and he knew that the girl that made his heart beat fast and uncontrollable was somehow a part of that.

Taking a sip of cold water, he went to pick the book again as he started searching for it again. He kept flipping the pages when his eyes fell upon the word, he was looking for. Quod perierat praeteritum. He stared at the words in front of him when they clicked something in him. He smiled to himself and shook his head in disbelief.

He may have found it. He may have actually found it. Taking the grimoire in his hand, he went out of the room. He ran his eyes around the living room and sighed in relief when he didn't see Aaron anywhere. He was not in a mood for one of their question answer therapy lessons. He smiled as he slipped through the door and made his way to the lake in the forest.

The forest was a dark place but there was a blanket of safety and comfort there which told him that once, this place wouldn't have been so barren and alone. It could still have essence of life in it, he thought. He went to stand beside the lake, its midnight blue water reflecting the glowing, silver moon. He touched the wetness on the grass beside the lake and closed his eyes, taking in the peace it offered.

He sat down and crossed his leg under him as he ran his hand through the same sparkling midnight blue water and sighed. He was going to find it and once he was finished, he would know everything he wanted to know. He opened the book to the same words. Quod perierat praeteritum. "The Lost Past," he murmured the words to himself and smiled.

Just like many of the spells required, he drew the circle on the ground beside the lake and placed candles all around it. The ritual required white and red candles with alternate sequence. With the candles placed according to the order, he situated himself in the middle of the circle.

"Paratus sum," he whispered, closing his eyes. With a loud crackling voice, the area lightened up as all the candles started to burn around him, flickering in the moonlight. He waited for a few seconds, focusing his energy to a single focal point as he inhaled calmly through his nose and exhaling it through mouth like they taught in meditation and yoga.

He wrote the spell written on the corner of the page of grimoire and folded it. He clutched it tightly in his hands as he started to chant the spell, his eyes closed, his brows knitted in concentration, his hands as fists at his side. He had almost lost himself in the magic that surrounded him.

[c]"Nunc dicam ad praeteritum,
clara futura sit.
Induxero me egrediebatur a tenebris,
et arbitraris me ad lucem."[/c]

The candles were flickering, their light fading in and out as they burned brighter casting a shadow on his face which was twisted in concentration. He could feel the energy flowing freely around him giving him a sense of euphoria and satisfaction. He kept chanting it, his voice getting louder with every word he uttered, the force and magnitude of his will evident in his tone and power of his voice.

[c]"Ne praesens de praeteritis imperium meum,
nox obscurum non sit futura.
Ego mihi in occursum cum aperta armis,
et iterum in lucem movere."[/c]

Once, the candles held themselves at a constant burn, without flickering, Damon threw the paper on which he wrote the spell into the fire in front of him. He could feel the heat of on his face, the raw energy of unknown and anticipation of the reward he awaited. Opening his eyes, he stared in the fire with undeterred expression, his eyes held the same focus, same will and passion as he spoke the last words of the ritual.

[c]"Potentiis et passionibus alligatam,
ubi est cor eu latet.
Auxiliabitur ei per suum laborem,
Benedicite eum in memoriam eius."[/c]

The flames rocketed to the sky with the speed of light, catching him with surprise as he stared at them in awe and wonder. Slowly, it seemed as they were enveloping him in themselves and he let them, taking the heat and magic it gave him. He closed his eyes and absorbed the power he was offered. Come to me, he thought, come on. Come to me.

There was nothing but darkness behind his closed eyes. He waited for the images to come but nothing. He saw nothing. He couldn't even hear anything and all he could hear was like white noise, irritating and pointless.

“Please,” she whispered and Damon's whole body tensed at the sound of that voice. He knew that voice. His heart started to pound as he felt the thrill of his memories returning. Her voice was the first thing that he heard over that noise, caressing over him like a sweet, forbidden touch.

“I…I can’t,” she said. What was she talking about? What was she saying? Her voice was so familiar, it left goose bumps on his skin but he still couldn't see her. The heat increased burning him, he could feel the warmth trickle down his lips. He felt empty, drained as suddenly the fire died down and he collapsed on the ground, breathing hard to catch his breath.

He willed himself to remember but he came up blank. He clenched his eyes as he recalled her voice. "Please. I...I can't." Her voice calmed things down, took away the frustration with the level of care and empathy it held. Slowly and gradually, he fluttered open his eyes.

He squinted his eyes as the bright light attacked his sight. He licked his lips as he sat up to see the lake beside him, the grass in its vibrant green color. He could hear the soft murmur of the wind, the buzz of the bees, even the warmth of the sunlight.

It was morning. He had stayed unconscious through the night. A useless night. He tried so hard to find the spell and then he found it and he tried it but he still got nothing. Nothing except that voice. He could place that voice to the face he saw in the bar but he would never be sure. He would never remember it. The force on the other side was way too strong for him to break.

He gathered all his things as he made his way home, overthinking all the things that had happened. He was hopeless and he was frustrated and there was nothing he could do about it. He slammed the door shut when Aaron ran to him. "Are you ok?" he asked quickly and then gasped which brought Damon back to the Earth as he raised his eyes to look at Aaron.

"Why is there blood on you, Damon?" He asked concerned, "Did you...what did you do?" he raised his eyebrows.

"Stop it," Damon screamed, "You're not my damn father," he threw the stuff he held in his hand to the farther corner and Aaron flinched.

"Besides, nothing works. None of the friggin' damn spells work," he was screaming now, trying to let out his frustration in the only way he knew how since he couldn't go on a killing spree now.

"Which one did you try?" Aaron asked calmly and softly.

Damon groaned, "It didn't work. It doesn't matter. Don't you see? It doesn't friggin' matter," he paused, his eyes wide with pain and hurt, "I still can't remember her," he said brokenly, "I still can't remember."

Aaron couldn't speak a word. What the hell was he talking about? Couldn't remember? Couldn't remember her? He gasped as the realization set in, "You were trying the memory spell, to bring it back," he said in disbelief.

"What do you know about it?" Damon snapped, his eyes searching Aaron's for the answer.

"Nothing. Nothing at all," he shrugged, "I just...I just figured that's what you were doing since you said," he cleared his throat. Damon wanted to call him out on his lie but decided against it. He wouldn't get any of his answers, of that he knew and the quicker he accepted it, the better for his sanity.

He shook his head, "I'm exhausted," Damon said, "I'm gonna go...catch the bed," he waved his hand in dismissal, "I'll see you tomorrow." He needed it but he knew it beforehand he wouldn't get any sleep or rest or a moment of peace. It just wasn't for him. He also knew that Mia girl, if that's her real name will haunt him if he did manage to sleep and he didn't know how to feel about that.

Aaron watched him go, he was almost dragging himself upstairs. He had been worried sick about him when he didn't return last night, only to know that he had been performing a memory spell. How could he know, he didn't had his whole memory intact? How did he figure that out and how in the world did he know it had something to do with ‘a her’?

He waited for Stefan to pick up the phone. "Hello, Aaron" Stefan answered at the second beep.

"Stefan. It's Damon," Aaron said as he picked up the book Damon had thrown and his eyes landed on the spell.

"What happened? Is he ok?" Stefan asked urgently.

"Not entirely. I don't know what's going on with him here but he's asking questions about Mia. I don't know what to do. I-I think it's better if he comes to Mystic Falls."

"What did he do? What did he ask?"

"He's been trying the spell to regain his memory back and it didn't work and he just returned. He was really out of it, Stefan. Scared the hell out of me," he paused, "It's better if you call him back. I'll see if there's something here that triggered it...that he felt the need to try this spell. Just to be on safe side, I'll send him to you," Aaron explained.

"Ok, then. Ask him to come home," Stefan agreed as he ended the call and sighed. He had no idea what was happening. Elena was at his side at once. "What happened? Is he alright?" she looked at Stefan with concerned eyes.

"Yeah," Stefan shrugged as his lips curled into a smile, "Damon's coming home."