These Words to Her

As I was changing my naval piercing in front of the mirror, I heard a knock at the front door downstairs and knew straight away who it was. Hannah was arriving today and from what I've heard, she's staying for a minimum of two weeks which let me know that there was a hidden agenda to her being here despite what Brian and Michelle tried to convince me. They didn't like her enough to willingly let her stay for a fortnight because she'd barely stayed over for three nights in previous years.

I screwed the top ball of the piercing in as I heard talking downstairs before Michelle called up to me. "Hannah's here, Nicole!"

Pulling my top down, I made sure that it was raised at the sides before leaving the room and bounding downstairs to where Hannah, Michelle and Val were standing in the entrance of the house. "Hannah!" I exclaimed, embracing her tightly. Every time I came to my parents' house I always missed Hannah, even though I spoke with her every day on the phone.

When I pulled away she gave me a clip round the head, something that I was expecting. "Heard you were being a nuisance for your parents," she scolded, shaking her head at me.

"What did you expect?" I shrugged. She sighed and I just grinned. "Did you bring it?"

She reached into her bag and pulled out an envelope which I took from her hand and turned back towards the stairs. I was only two stairs up when Michelle spoke. "What's that, Nicole?" she asked, her eyes on the envelope.

"Porn," I deadpanned.

"Don't be rude," Hannah snapped making me roll my eyes. "I have something else from him that I won't give you if I hear another bit of rudeness."

That spiked Michelle's attention and she turned back to Hannah. "Him?" she questioned.

"You haven't told them?" Hannah said, looking at me.

I just shook my head. It wasn't their business to know about Peter, and even if it was, I still wouldn't tell them about him because he was important to me despite how I sometimes acted towards him. He knew about my anger management and how it was hard for me to be truthful to people because of my parents, but he still decided to stick around – at least, until he finds out I'm sixteen. I'm not sure what he'll do when he finds out because my birthday's soon and he thinks I'm turning nineteen when I'm actually turning seventeen, and even though I don't think two years is that big of a deal to lie about, I know he won't be thrilled when he eventually finds out the truth. Despite my ability to keep lying to him, I always knew he'd one day find out the truth.

"Told us what?" Michelle asked, looking between Hannah and me. I knew that Hannah wouldn't tell her or Brian because she believed that things like this were down to me and if I didn't tell someone then it wasn't her business to do it either. But I also knew that I wasn't going to tell them either so the chance of them actually finding out wasn't that high.

Hannah tutted. "It's not my place to say, but I expected you to have told them, Nicole," she chided.

I just shook my head, turned on my heel and continued upstairs. They were still talking in the entrance when I reached my room and went inside, making sure to lock it behind me because I knew that I didn't want to be interrupted while opening this envelope.

When I had apologised to Peter the other night he had told me that he'd dropped something off with Hannah that he knew she would be able to give to me, and even though we still spoke during the conversation, I was curious and slightly worried about what the envelope might contain. I knew that I'd been a bitch to him often during our relationship, and I hadn't exactly been too honest with him either, but I don't know what I'd do if he decided to break up with me, especially in a letter. After everything he'd helped with I appreciated him a lot even if I never really let him know I did.

Sitting on my bed, I opened the envelope and pulled out an invitation and a short note. My worries went straight out when I saw the invitation and I didn't fear reading the note now. At least he wasn't breaking up with me. The invitation was to his sister's wedding on the 30th of June and the note was just him explaining how as he was obliged to attend he wanted me to as well, and although he's had the invitation for a while, he had held off giving it to me because he didn't want to get hit because he knew that it wasn't something that I would have taken willingly. I hated going out to places where I had to dress up. Being forced to go out for a dinner was bad enough with Michelle and Brian, but a wedding? That was just ridiculous, especially as it was in two weeks and only five days after me turning seventeen.

I tucked the invite and note back into the envelope and had just opened the drawer of my bedside unit when there was a knock at my door. "We're going to a restaurant for dinner tonight," Michelle said through the door. "We're leaving in two hours so please make sure you're dressed appropriately." I didn't reply and listened to her go down the hallway. I knew that they had Hannah here for a reason and it was obvious that going to this dinner was going to be where they broached whatever topic it was that they had on their minds. Hopefully they weren't dumb enough to ask me to live with them. They asked me that once when I was thirteen and it certainly did not go down well.

To waste time, I rung Peter up and spoke to him about the invitation and told him that I hoped I could come but couldn't guarantee anything, although I was banking on it being a yes. I then decided to have a shower and slowly blowdry my hair so that the majority of the two hours were wasted already. Getting changed wasn't a problem because it was just jeans and a nice blouse that I wore to dinners with my parents. It wasn't like I was going to dress up fancily just to eat food.

By the time I was pulling my shoes on Michelle was back at my door telling me that it was time to leave. I wasn't sure what they'd want to talk to me about so I left my room without dreading it too much. The ride there didn't contain much talking and by the time we got there I was fairly bored. It didn't help that Brian had to leave us in the car park for a few minutes while he went and got some money out to pay for the meal, and when we actually entered the restaurant we were seated immediately. Unfortunately for me, I was seated next to Michelle rather than Hannah and was sat opposite Brian. A starter and drinks were ordered before Brian cleared his throat to gain my attention.

"Your mother tells me that there's a boy in your life," he said, eyes burning into mine almost as if he was outraged that I'd have such a thing happen to me and keep it from them both. It wasn't like it was life-changing.

"Hannah knows about him," I told him, sitting back in my chair.

He raised an eyebrow and glanced to his side before looking back at me. "Who is he?"

I laughed and rubbed my forehead. "Jeez, Brian, what is this? It's not like you know anyone in my life other than Hannah, and even then you don't like her so why the hell would you think I would ever want to introduce you to anyone else in my life?"

Michelle cut in before I'd finished. "He was just asking a question, Nicole. We just want to know whether you're being safe or not. And if he means a lot to you, well, I'd like to meet him."

"Yeah, that ain't ever going to happen," I snorted, shaking my head at the two of them. "Hannah likes him, Hannah knows him and Hannah will tell me if she ever thought I was putting myself in danger."

This time it was Hannah who sighed and shook her head at me. "Don't be like this, Nicole," she reprimanded.

"Whatever," I muttered, glad that the waiter was coming back with our drinks and starters. All conversation stopped after that until we were finished with our starters and our main courses had been ordered. Even though I knew that there was some hidden agenda behind Hannah having been invited to stay, the actual reason had never crossed my mind.

So when Brian laced his fingers together in front of him, rested his elbows on the table and spoke, I was shocked by what he said. "Your mother and I have spoken to Hannah about how we don't always see eye to eye with you, and how sometimes we don't really know who you are as a person. It's something that we want to fix and Hannah agreed that it'd be a good thing to do. However, we thought about how we could do such a thing and your Aunt Val came up with a brilliant idea."

"You're kidding me," I deadpanned, knowing full well what he was going on about. How could I not? She'd been going on about a family retreat for days, thinking that it'd be the best thing for her sister.

"We're not," he said, pausing while our main courses were delivered. He resumed when the waiter had left. "I've phoned up a few retreats and there's one in California itself that I think would be beneficial for us all to go to."

I looked at Hannah, bewildered. "And you're okay with this?"

She nodded. "I'm coming with you."

"Well I'm not," I retorted, stabbing at my chicken with more force than necessary.

It was Michelle who spoke next. "We're all going. It's already been arranged. We're heading out tomorrow and all phones and electronic devices will be left home except for an emergency phone. The retreat is for eight days and we have a little cabin that we're staying in as a family. There's also activities running for the entire eight days that we're going to be participating in," she explained, seemingly happy about having to attend this retreat.

I, however, wasn't thrilled at all. "This is ridiculous," I spat. "Way to treat me like I'm seven."

There was no way these eight days would be good for us in any way at all.