I Will Always Care for You

Despite not getting an earlier flight, Hayley couldn't be happier to be back in Tennessee. Though it was great that their new album was released and they did all these different interviews, photoshoots, and performances, she was glad to have some time to see her family. A week ago, she called her mother, Cristi, to tell her that she would be visiting and her mother went on and on about how delighted she was at the news. It was about time Hayley got some relaxation. Jeremy and Taylor were also planning on coming home as well, but they'd be there in a few days after her.

She wanted to be there in the morning so she'd have the whole day to spend with them, but the flight she ended up with wasn't so bad. It wasn't like it was too late and she got there a little before sunset, so it was no big deal. As long as the plane touched the ground safely, everyone was cool with it. Apparently, Mrs. Williams kept the visit a secret to Erica and McKayla because when Hayley got picked up at the airport, the two girls had surprised looks on their faces and joyfully screamed. They jumped out the car, ran over to their sister, and pretty much tackled her with hugs.

As they embraced her, they repeatedly yelled "I can't believe you're here!" and just squeezed her tighter. After being pried away by their mother so she could also hug her daughter, the girls told Hayley that Cristi said to them that she was going to pick up their aunt and that they needed to come along. Hayley laughed at this, secretly wishing that she videotaped their reactions. She grinned widely as she put her luggage in the trunk and listened to her sisters planning out all the things they wanted to do with her. It was great to be home and she missed them all a lot.

"So, how was your flight?" Cristi asked as everyone got back into the car.

"Oh, it was good. Went by pretty fast," Hayley put her seat belt on and turned to her sisters in the back. "Sorry I couldn't come earlier, guys. I wanted us to have the whole day together."

"Hey, I'm just glad you're even home," Erica grinned. "Better to have you here late than not at all."

"Aw, if we knew we were going to pick you up," McKayla pouted. "We could've brought your new album along to listen to it in the car."

"I'm actually surprised you girls didn't," Cristi chuckled and then lowered her voice to speak only to Hayley. "They've been listening to it non-stop. I'm not even sure if they've listened to anything else in the past few weeks."

"Well, when we get home, we'll definitely listen to it," Hayley assured them with a smile.

They were her biggest fans and that always brought a smile to her face. Her father and mother, too. Not to mention, Cristi was also the best life coach she could ever ask for. Just her whole family was so supportive and that was the main thing she missed about living in Franklin. Los Angeles was nice and all, but it would never compare to the place she truly called home.

Finally, they made it to the house and Hayley was looking forward to the next few days the more she thought about it. Erica and McKayla were telling her all about their opinion of the album, raving about all the songs and which ones were their favorites. Hayley also decided to mention that Jeremy and Taylor were going to be joining them as well and the girls got excited all over again. When they got out the car, they gave her more hugs and once again told her how great it was for her to be there before helping her get her stuff.

While they were doing this, Hayley saw that there was a car parked across the street. It was blocking the driveway of the house it was in front of and there appeared to be a figure inside it. Whoever was in the car, the person looked as if their head was turned toward her and she had a feeling she was being watched. Her eyes narrowed, trying to distinguish who they were, but the streetlight created a glare and she couldn't get a proper view of their face. For a moment, she could've sworn she caught a glimpse of them when their head moved.

Is that…

"Hayley?"

She spun around to see her mother standing in the doorway of the house, her arms crossed and a puzzled expression on her face. Her sisters were already in the living room and she realized that she was the only one outside.

"Yeah?"

"Are you coming inside?" she asked.

Hayley nodded and turned to face the car again, only to find that the person inside it had started the vehicle and drove off. She watched it leave until it was no longer visible and then headed into the house, trying not to think about who that could've been.


Josh knew he wasn't supposed to be there, but he couldn't stop looking at her. This wasn't just her picture on some album cover or magazine advertisement or her in a music video. Hayley was here, in person, in Tennessee. This was pretty much the first time in three years Josh was in close proximity to her. If he were to get out the car, all he had to do was walk about twenty steps to get to her and they'd be face to face.

And then she'd most likely slap him. Or punch him. Or both.

Well, maybe she wouldn't do something as violent, but at the sight of Josh, her reaction wasn't going to be a positive one. It wasn't like they would immediately chat and laugh as if it was only a few days since they've seen each other. They hadn't talked in three whole years and it was because he was unhappy, left the band, and posted a blog to explain why he was upset in full detail. He burned bridges; it tore the fans apart. People took sides, Zac didn't know what to think, and it was such a surprising event that hardly anyone could live it down.

It took him a while to decide this, but he tried to rebuild that bridge and it was unsuccessful so far. This dated back to almost a year ago when he went over to Zac's place, telling his brother that it was about time he made amends. He was still going to stand by what he believed, but he didn't want there to be any tension. He wanted to move forward and make peace with them, even though he was their least favorite person in the world.

He still hadn't talked to them. He tried to contact them numerous times, but got nothing. Making peace was harder than he thought and Josh started to think that he deserved to be getting the silent treatment. He wasn't exactly saying he was wrong for what he had done, but he realized that maybe he could have dealt with it differently without causing so much damage. And because of this damage, he couldn't just open that car door and walk out to her. She wouldn't want to talk to him, no matter how hard he tried. So all he could do was sit in silence again and look out the window at the girl who was once so important in his life.

This was cut short when he noticed that she was staring in his direction, a look of a curiosity in her eyes. When she took a step forward, Josh turned his head the other way in fear that she would be able to see his face. He panicked a little when she took another step, but then heard the sound of Mrs. Williams' voice that caused Hayley to turn around and gave a Josh a chance to start his car and drive away from there as quick as possible.

Josh breathed a sigh of relief that she got called inside at the last minute. He couldn't imagine how messy things would have gotten if he got caught. Then again, did she already catch him? Did she see his face? It was obvious that she suspected something because she looked like she was going to walk up to the car and that was a very close call. He cursed under his breath for doing a stupid act that day and he had no idea what was the point of him going there when he didn't even do anything.

When he was at a stoplight, he decided to check his phone for a moment to push all thoughts of what just happened out of his head. He frowned when he saw that he got a few missed calls from Jenna and even more missed calls from Zac. Seeing how many times Jenna had called actually made sense because he didn't tell her that he was out, but he didn't know why Zac was trying to get a hold of him. However, it also made sense that she probably gave up on calling Josh and called his brother to see if Josh was over there.

They were probably worried about him, which made him want to get home even faster. Upon arriving home, he saw that Jenna's car wasn't the only one parked in the driveway. Right away, he recognized the car as Zac's and he reluctantly stepped out of his car. He was hesitant to walk through the front door, sensing that things were not going to get any easier for him tonight.

He unlocked the door and slowly got inside. "Uh, hello?"

At hearing his voice, Jenna came from the living room and was followed by Zac. The both of them walked over to Josh and that's when she wrapped her arms around him while Zac just stood there with one hand behind his back.

"Thank goodness you're home!" she exclaimed. "We've been trying to call you and you didn't answer. Where have you been?"

"Oh, I-I was just, uh," Josh stuttered. "I was just running a bunch of these errands I had. They, uh, they took a while to finish."

Jenna let go of him and raised an eyebrow, slightly tilting her head to the side. Zac looked away and ran his hand through his hair.

"Look," Zac finally spoke. "I think we need to talk."

"Talk?" Josh repeated, hoping he wasn't going to hear the worst. "Talk about what?"

At his question, Jenna and Zac just exchanged glances before Zac finally revealed what he had been hiding behind his back: the album.

"It was on the couch when Jenna came home," his brother said. "We're guessing this is the reason why you've been gone all day."

Shit. Josh's eyes went wide and his knees started to feel weak. Did he start to sweat, too? It was definitely not a good night for him. He wanted to open that front door again and run away from the house as fast as he possibly could. Of all things to happen, this was possibly the most awkward situation he could be in and he was mad at himself for leaving that stupid CD out in the open where someone could find it. If he was actually smart, he would've hid it somewhere and the rest of the day would have ended fine.

"Josh, are you okay?"

But he had to be honest with them. It wasn't right for him to lie and if there was anyone he could talk to about what he had done earlier that day and how much it affected him, it would be them. It wasn't like him to hide something from Jenna and Zac was his brother and was always understanding. Without a word, Josh walked into the living room and sat down on the couch. They followed him back into the living room and sat on both sides of him.

"I'm not okay," Josh began. "Actually, I'm all over the place right now. I went to the store today and the CD was right there on the shelf. I tried to ignore it; I really did. But once I saw it, I couldn't stop thinking about it and so I bought the album. I took it home and listened to the whole thing and I just…I didn't know it would hurt so much, but it did. And the reason why I was gone? I drove around town and ended up at her old place, almost as if I was going to do something. When I realized that I wasn't, I decided to come home and here I am."

He didn't bring up that one crucial detail of Hayley being there just yet. Instead, he buried his face in his hands, out of breath from saying so much and exhausted from driving himself crazy the whole day. He just wanted to get things over with already and get the rest he deserved. Though he needed sleep, he also needed to talk to someone. He had no choice but to talk at the moment anyway.

Zac put on hand on his shoulder, wondering what he could say to his brother without his words sounding useless. Jenna simply held his hand and gave him a look of concern.

She opened her mouth, speaking in a gentle voice. "I know it must've been hard for you to listen to that CD."

"She had so many things to say to us," Josh murmured. "I heard it all. And yet I have so many things to say back and they don't even want to hear it."

"Sooner or later, you'll be able to talk to them," Zac told him. "I don't know when, but you will eventually."

"I think I could talk to her now. I know I could."

"What do you mean?"

"I saw her."

"What?" Zac said in disbelief. "You saw her today? Here?"

"When I went to the house, I saw her with her family when they got home," Josh replied. "She's visiting."

Zac was overwhelmed with everything that Josh was telling him and this was something big. Deep down, he knew what his brother was intending to do now that he found out Hayley was in town. Josh saw this as his opportunity to finally confront her and if that was what he really wanted to do and if Jenna was okay with it, he wasn't going to stop him.

"I was right there," Josh went on. "I could've gotten out of the car and talk to her. I could've done what I've been trying to do for a while. But instead, I…drove off."

"Josh," Jenna lifted her hand to cup his cheek. "I think you should talk to her."

He looked at her. "R-Really?"

"You've been bothered by this for months," she said. "Maybe not so much that it's obvious, but a small part of you has been thinking about it. I know how you've been wanting to set things right and in order to do that, you have to talk to her. Do what you have to do. I understand."

He pressed his forehead to hers and managed to give her a weak smile. "Okay."

Their lips met and he felt a little bit relaxed. He was thankful that she was also understanding and he was glad that he was honest with the both of them. Zac gave him a look that said he agreed with her and Josh nodded back, letting his brother know that he really meant what he said.

He was going to go through with this.


It was nice to know that Hayley's old room was still kind of her room in a way. While she took all her pictures and decorations with her when she left for Los Angeles, the things that were too big for her to bring were still there. Like the mirrored vanity table set that she loved so much where she used to experiment with all kinds of makeup. It was still in the same place, right next to her bed and when Hayley went into her room to put her luggage in it, she saw that her sisters put their own pictures at the top of the mirror. Old pictures of them together that she didn't have and even more recent pictures of Hayley performing on stage.

Her mother kept the room nice and clean, which was something Hayley wasn't really good at. The furniture was dusted, the bed was made, and the floor was vacuumed. She enjoyed the feeling of a clean room and sat down on her bed. The same comfortable bed she slept on for years.

As she was looking at the pictures on the mirror, there was a knock on the door and in came her sisters. McKayla sat on the chair in front of the vanity table while Erica sat down on the bed beside Hayley.

"Looking at the pics we put?" Erica asked.

"Yeah, I love them," Hayley pointed to the concert pictures. "I like how I don't look as sweaty in these."

McKayla laughed. "I picked those out. We wanted to decorate this mirror because we thought it looked boring."

"Well, I'm happy you guys decorated it," Hayley smiled. "It reminds me how much I love to be home and how much I missed you two."

"You should just move back here," McKayla joined them on the bed. "That way you won't have to miss us anymore."

Hayley put an arm around McKayla. "I wish it was that easy. But I had to move away and I had to figure myself out. I had to grow up, but you know I'll always be here for you."

"Some of us have to grow up sometimes," Erica said as she leaned on Hayley's shoulder and they all laughed, realizing that she just quoted one of Paramore's songs.

"I like that song," McKayla grinned. "Your album is the best."

"Well, I don't know about it being the best," Hayley said. "But it's nice to know you like it."

She admitted, it was hard at first when she left. To move all the way to California was a really big step, but it gave her a different perspective. She liked the choice she made, even if it meant being far away from the people she cared about. Growing up was hard and terrifying at times, but it was worth it. When she grew up, she also became a lot stronger.

"Come on," Hayley got off the bed. "Let's go listen to it now."

They played it in the living room while Hayley decided to help her mother out with dinner. One of the things she learned to do when she started living on her own was how to cook a meal for herself and Cristi was impressed by how her daughter was more experienced when it came to being in the kitchen. It was a nice dinner they had together. She told them how things were like when they were in the studio recording the album while they told her how things were at home. Her mother told her how things were going great with life coaching and her sisters went on about school.

Hayley offered to wash the dishes since it was the least she could do. The girls continued to play the album and her mother suggested they watch a movie afterwards. She was excited about all of this, already enjoying her time there and being with family.

Just then, the phone rang. How her mother still had a house phone, she didn't know and it was surprising that someone would be calling it. Since no one was around and the phone was in the kitchen, she turned off the sink and decided to answer it herself.

"Hello?" she said when she put the phone to her ear.

There was no immediate response at first, but she did hear breathing. Maybe it was some stranger who got the wrong number or something.

She still stayed on the phone. "Hello? Who is this?"

The voice spoke. "Hayley…"

She knew that voice. How could she possibly forget that voice? At the sound of her name coming from this person's mouth, her hand started to shake and she almost dropped the phone on the floor. This couldn't be happening. Not when it's been three years and especially not after she thought she would never hear this voice again.

It was Josh. Josh Farro was on the phone.

Not only was she shocked, but she was also confused. After all these years, what would cause him to suddenly call the house and didn't he know that she no longer lived there? She was close to putting the phone back on the receiver, just ending the call right there because she wanted to react in many different ways.

"Josh?" she breathed after contemplating whether she should speak or not. While hanging up was her first option, she didn't want to get off the phone either.

"I-I just want to…" he tried to say, but fell silent.

"You want to what?" she asked.

He was still silent, but she knew he didn't hang up yet. He was breathing hard and muttering incoherent words. Since things weren't really going anywhere, she reluctantly spoke again.

"Why…why did you call me?"

When she asked her question, he spoke clearly again. "I shouldn't have done this. I-I have to go."

"No, wait…"

"I have to go. Forget I did this."

Before she could say anything, he hung up and she leaned against the counter, dumbfounded.

Cristi then entered the kitchen. "Who was that?"

Hayley slowly put the phone back on the receiver and turned to her mother. "It…it was Josh Farro. He called, barely said anything, and just hung up."

The familiar name made her mother frown and she walked up to her daughter. "Well, what do you think he wanted?"

"I don't know," Hayley shook her head. "I really have no idea."

How could he do that? He couldn't just randomly call up her house after three years and then suddenly hang up on her. It didn't make sense and she badly wanted to understand why this just happened. Why would Josh, of all people, just call like that and how did he even know she was home?


The next morning, Hayley convinced herself to brush that strange phone call off. She wasn't going to let Josh affect her anymore because she knew better than to dwell on him. Last time he got to her, she almost gave up on Paramore and she wasn't going to let things get bad again. Instead, she woke up feeling refreshed, got ready, and made breakfast for everyone.

Erica was the first one to walk into the kitchen. "Morning."

"Morning," Hayley said as she placed the food she made on the table.

"You okay?" her sister asked.

Hayley just looked at her. "Yeah, I'm okay. Why?"

"Because I overheard you telling Mom about the phone call you got," Erica said. "Did he really call you?"

"Yeah, he did," Hayley nodded. "But he didn't really say anything. He just kept stuttering and hung up on me."

"What do you think he wanted to say to you?"

Hayley shrugged and went to get the dishes and utensils. "I don't know what he could possibly want to say to me and I'm not really worried about it anyway. I doubt it was anything important."

"But what if it was important?"

She stopped what she was doing and turned to her sister. Hayley then let out a sigh and sat down at the table. "Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't. But like I said, I'm not going to let myself worry about it."

Erica pulled out one of the chairs and sat down with Hayley. They just sat there quietly for a few minutes, Erica twiddling her thumbs while Hayley looked the other way.

"Do you ever think about him?" Erica turned back to her.

Hayley looked at the floor. "Of course I still think about him. I think about his brother, too. I can't just not think about them, you know. They were my two best friends and they were important people in my life. I can't just think of them as nothing. It's just, my relationship ended badly with them and he chose to leave me out of his own life. He's moved on, started his own band, and is doing what's best for him. Although it hurt me that he did that, I also decided to move on and do what was best for me. I'll always think of them. I'm just not going to dwell on them."

"So are you really okay?" Erica asked again.

"Yes," Hayley smiled at her. "I'm okay."

They both got up and hugged each other, Erica smiling with her. She was telling her sister the truth and truly felt happy. There was no need for her family to worry about her anymore because she was focused on moving forward and improving herself.

Their nice little moment together came to an end when the doorbell rang. Hayley let go of her sister and told her that she would answer the door. While Erica helped set up the table and went to get McKayla and Cristi, Hayley went to the door and opened it.

When she opened the door, her smile immediately disappeared the moment she saw who it was. Her green eyes were met with brown ones and her jaw dropped. Right there, standing right in front of her was a familiar face.

Josh's face.

She walked out and closed the door behind her. Looking up at him, she just stood there speechless and folded her arms across her chest. The reason why she crossed her arms was because her hands started to shake again and she still struggled to make words come out of her mouth. Josh wasn't feeling any better than she did because his knees had that weak feeling again and he tightened both of his hands into fists.

They were finally face to face for the first time in three years. It was already nerve-wracking for him when he spoke to her on the phone, but now that he was there with her in person, that brought it to a whole new level.

"What are you doing here?" she finally said.

He rubbed the back of his neck. "I-I heard you were in town and I just thought I could…"

What was he doing there again? Oh yeah, it was because he listened to her new album and sat outside her house and happened to stare at her when she got home. Then he somehow ended up calling her home and failed to say a word to her, which led to him standing outside her front door.

"I came here to talk to you."

"To me?" Hayley raised an eyebrow. "Josh, we…you left the band and didn't want to have anything to do with me after that. Then three years later, you show up and suddenly want to talk?"

Josh sighed. "Three years ago, I was angry and emotional and I know I could've said and done things differently. Hayley, I just need to talk to you. I know I'm the last person you want at your door right now, but can we please talk?"

She stared at him with a blank expression and Josh had a feeling this was going to happen. Even in person, she didn't want to talk to him and he couldn't do anything about it except deal with her reaction. His expectations of her agreeing to talk were hit by the harsh reality and he just backed away from her. "I see you don't want to talk. I guess I'll just go…"

He turned around and tried to quickly get out of there, but ended up tripping over his own feet and stumbled onto the grass. He hit the ground pretty hard and mentally slapped himself for being so clumsy. Not only did he hurt himself, but he also completely humiliated himself right in front of her and that was just another reason for him to want to disappear. This whole weekend just really wasn't going so well for him.

"Josh," she had rushed over to his side when he fell and dropped down to her knees. He had fallen flat on his face and it was a pretty nasty fall, so she wanted to at least make sure he was okay and helped him up. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," he brushed off the grass. "Thanks for helping me up."

After brushing off most of the grass from his shirt and jeans, he proceeded to walk away from her, only to feel her hand grab his arm.

"Wait," she squeezed his arm a bit. "You don't have to go."

He eventually turned around to look at her again. Hayley let go of his arm and bit her lip, looking like she had something to say. So far, it seemed like all they did was stutter and have awkward silences. Though that was expected to happen between two people that had a lot of history together and lost contact for a while. If only it were easier. But when it came to their relationship, things never came easy. Maybe if Zac had come along with him, this would've been less difficult for all of them.

That had to stop. He shouldn't expect things to come to him so easily. This wasn't going to be simple at all and he had to accept that. So he waited there until Hayley took a deep breath to speak up, wondering what else she would say that would cause another pang in his stomach.

"We do need to talk."