You'll Never Really Find Those Perfect Words

The speaker finished her speech and everybody started to go to the cafeteria.

I just don’t want to attract attention for being the new kid so I made the smart decision of enter there in last…
Can I say, Worst.idea.ever?
Because everyone is just staring at me.

If you didn’t notice yet I do not like to be the center of the attentions. I just think too much and I got nervous. Very nervous. I get all shaky and stuff and it’s awful because the normally awkward me gets even worst. And that’s how I am right now. Me, just even worst; nervous, shaky, awkward and clumsy. Yeah, I get why everyone hates me and makes fun of me so much…
When I notice all my food was on the floor.
Great, just great Noah. Got so nervous that spilled all your food on the floor, don’t you want to give them even more reasons to make fun of you idiot?
I quickly get to the floor and start picking everything up at light speed.
And then I saw a pair of feet in front of my eyes. He just lean down, helped me picking everything and then helped me to my feet.

I crashed against him and WhatTheFuck is made of what? Stone? And why isn’t everyone worshiping him? He is like a god or something. It may sound cheese but I completely get lost in his beautiful blue eyes. WhatTheActualFuck he is so incredibly hot, why is he helping me? Is this some sort of joke or anything? I could feel everyone staring at us. I looked around quickly and what was that? Why is everyone in shock?
I just whisper a quite “thank you” and he looked down at me and…
“You’re welcome! I’m Dennis by the way.” OH.MY.GOD. He is actually talking to me? What is this? A prank? Is he going to do something humiliating and then his friends are going to came out with a camera? For the shock looks in their faces I guess not but who knows.
“Noah” I whispered quietly, why am I telling him my name? He didn’t ask, he probably doesn’t want to know, OhMy-
“Okay Noah, see you around” he cut my trail of thoughts and I had to control my mouth so that I wouldn’t open it and broke my jaw. Why is he talking to me, what is happening?
“See ya” I whispered again and he turn around and got to his seat. He sits next to a girl that is actually really pretty. She looks very shocked, so probably she is his girlfriend or something.

I take a seat in a table, alone. I am used to it by now. I can still feel everyone’s eyes on me. This is going to be a big lunch hour…

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After that long, awful luch hour I was finally having a class. I think I was never this excited about having economic's class. Don't get me wrong, I actually like school, and classes and learning stuff but economic? Really? This is boring as hell and I am pretty shure I will never use this in my life, no matter how short I think it is going to be...
I'm just really thankfull the teacher didn't felt the need to introduce me. That luch hour, whatever it happened there, it was already weird as fuck. During the whole hour I could hear whispers and I could feel people eyes on me. They were judging me like everyone always does, and I think Dennis helping me just made it an whole lot worse... And if people already make fun of me without even knowing my name, imagine what could happen if I had to introduce myself? I could die just with the stress of having to do it...

"Mr. Wilson, can you please pay attention to the class?"

I looked up to see who was the person my teacher was talking to. It was him. Dennis. Dennis Wilson apperently. God he really is hot. Why can't I look like that? Like oh my god how is that even possible? I want that... (no, not in that way you perverts)

"Yeah, actually can I go to the bathroom please?"

I saw the teacher rolling his eyes and giving him the pass so that he could leave the classroom. OK, for the million time, he really his hot. That body, that face, how can someone be that perfect? I want to touch those muscles and just let him embrace me with those strong harms...... OK NOAH CONTROLL YOURSELF, he is probably straight, with an hot girlfrien, popular. Even if he was gay he would not have anything to be with you, ok? Okay, so stop crushing on him and pay attention the the boring class...

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The class was passing by and Dennis wouldn't come back from the bathroom. And no, I'm not cheking the door every two seconds to see if he is back, I'm not that crazy obsessed with someone I saw for the first time this morning. But I have to admit. I don't know if it is all physical or if it has to be with him helping me, but I am kinda gaining a crush on him. And this is not good!

"What is taking Dennis so long? God dammit, new kid, go search for him"

The teacher gave me a corridor pass. Ok, not so much with the whole not attracting attentions to me. Why the fuck the teacher sent me? I'm new, remember? I know shit about this school you stupid dumb ass...
The first thing I have to do is search bathrooms, right? It won't be that bad... Let's see...
There is one there, so please he would be passed out in that one so that I can save him and be his saviour and don't have to search in any more places...

As I got closed to the bathroom I heard moans. This is not good, I'm going to interrupt a very bad thing. Let's just hope that I just have a very pervert mind and that is nothing what I'm thinking about. I slowly oppened the door and I really can't believe my eyes. Dennis was there, fucking some random guy against the wall. Well I guess I really don't know him or anything if that matters about him or this school so I don't know if that is his boyfriend or a random guy. But I really though he was dating that pretty girl he spent the lunch with... Was he cheating on her? With a guy? Well, there is some serious closed case, ok?
As I turned to leave, already imagining what excuse I was going to sell to my teacher, I feel over my own foot and it made SO MUCH NOISE. Why do this things keep happening to me? I just wanted to have a new benning, in a new school, where I could go under the radar. But no, I'm me. Of course this would happen to me. As they turned around, alarmed by the noise, I got on my feet, whispered a quiet thank you, and ran away from there. And I really mean ran. I just wanted them to continue with whatever that was and to don't kill me because I saw it...
Although I am going to have to say it... It kinda hurt me, I don't even know why because I barely know the guys, but it kinda of did hurt me for some reason...

I felt an hand in my harm and as I turned around I almost had an heart attack. It was Dennis, there looking at me, with, amusement? in his eyes. The son of a bitch is going to kill me and think thats funny!?
I kept looking at him with wide eyes and hopping he couldn't read my eyes, and then, I started apologizing again... Just hope he doesn't kill me, just hope that!

"I'm so sorry. I swear I won't tell anybody, I won't even tell your girlfriend dude, I swear. You really shouldn't be doing this behind her back but I swear I am not going to tell anybody... Shit my first day at this school and I just fucked up everything again, I'm so sorry dud-"

He put his hand over my mouth, probably because he wanted me to shut up because was already annoying him. That's now. I'm going to die. I could see what looked like confusion in his eyes. I don't really know why, but it was there. By the way, ugh his hand is on my mouth and he doesn't look like someone that plans on taking it away... Just ugh I now where is hand...

"First of all, stop apologizing. I don't have a girlfriend, I'm gay, and I'm not cheating anyone, I don't know where you got that idea. And you didn't fuck anything Noah, you just get in that bathroom with the wrong timing, very wrong timing"

Does this means he is not going to kill me? I mean he doesn't sound mad about it and, is he trying to what? confort me? I don't know but he doesn't sound mad so i'm realived about that... Second of all, what the actually fuck, this god is gay, whatt.the.hell. what about the girl? She looked like his girl...

"But you didn't fuck anything else, just relax dude, this is High School not a lion cage"
Of course he thinks "this is just High School" he is handsome, and popular, and actually has a life and friends. To me this is a lion cage!
"Ohh, dude I'm sorry I just... You wouldn't understand"
He really wouldn't understand why this is a lion cage for me... and I'm the little rabit, the lion food that they can kill with just a roar.
"That’s fine dude, now let’s get back to class because I suppose that's why you came after me"

I just nodded and went with him to class. Why is my life so difficult? Why can't I just be happy and have friends like everyone else? Why am I always the fucked up, weird kid? I wish I could be Dennis. Handsome, popular, just relaxing and enjoying my life. But I can't be. Because that just not for me...