Thinking of You

I want to hate you but i can't.

I despise the fact that I can't get your face out of my head. I despise the fact that you are on my mind at 4 am in the morning and I haven't slept for a moment. I despise the fact that I can not despise you. I have not have a moment of where I haven't thought of you. You are always some where even if you are not here, even if you are with her.

I am jealous of her. She took away the only light in my dark world. I envy her and the fact that she will always be better than me. I envy the fact that her heart is not broken unlike mine. I envy her that she has you and i don't. Sometimes I wish I was her. But I know I will never be good enough.

Sometimes I cry about the fact that this is true. That you will never come back to me. Sometimes I cry so much that the tears don't come anymore.

I miss you but I hate you.