Sweet Like Sugar

Dear Sugar,

I can't believe how much I miss you. I can't believe how weird it is that you're not here. You should know I'm writing this to you before I even write my parents. I don't particularly like this place but I don't particularly like any place. This is the first time I’m ever been homesick. I’m homesick for Timbercreek. It’s ridiculous. I’m losing it.

There isn't a lot for me to say since it's only been a week and not a lot has happened but at the end of summer we're putting on a huge play for our parents and some big talent scouts from L.A. This could be my big break. There’s even a possibility that I can be a shoe in for the lead role. We’re not sure what play it is but it’s not important.

In other news I literally can't stop thinking about you. Can you send me some of your drawings? Are you okay? Is your summer going well? Have you made any other friends yet? I hope so. I'd hate for you to spend all summer alone. This is so weird. Not being able to see you or hear your voice every day. Have I ever told you I love you? Because I really do. Like a lot. More than I thought actually. Please write me back soon and wish me luck.

Love, Talia

“Sugar, please don’t tell me you’re still crying over that stupid letter?”

“I’m not crying.” I say pulling my covers over my head so she couldn't see that I actually was still crying. “There must be dust in here or something. I think I’m allergic.”

“Sure there is.” Zoe walks into my room and I fell her sit down on my bed next to me. I just knew she was rolling her eyes. As if being sentimental was the most annoying thing for her. She rolled her eyes at everything. My mom used to tell her that they’ll roll right out of her head one day.

“Shug…are you okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Then why have you been moping around all day?” She tries pulling my covers off of me but I just hold onto them even tighter.

“I’m not moping. Leave me alone.”

“You are moping. I know how you get when something’s bothering you so just tell me what it is, okay?”

“Nothing’s bothering me.”

“It has to be something. You’ve been all depressing ever since you came home last night. Did something happen at the party?”

Well my crush threw up on me, I got attacked by some psycho soccer jerk, and came to terms with fact that I’m a big gay baby. Everything just really sucked. And I missed my best friends like crazy. I couldn’t stop reading her letter over and over. Every time I read it I just got more depressed. I couldn’t discuss any of how I felt with anyone but her and she was 1000 miles away. I wasn’t used to feeling so alone with my thoughts.

“Nothing happened.”

I didn’t even want to think about last night. It just made me sick to my stomach. I wasn’t the one for being gloomy but every once in a while I got like this. I think about telling her. There were different possibilities about how she would react though. But since I had a slight feeling she would freak out and tell our parents and as a result, they would start bombarding me with questions I didn’t even know how to answer yet, I decide against it.

“Fine. Be that way. Don’t say I didn’t try to help.” She stood up and I finally remove my covers to look at her. “I’m calling in reinforcements.”

There was a rule in our house. No one could be sad for more than one night. If you are, then the other family members in the house must do anything in their power to make the other person happy again.

This rule was established six years ago after Zoe got dumped by her first boyfriend when she was 12, and cried for three days straight. We all got so sick of her moping around that we held her down and coated her in two cans of whipped cream.

When my dad lost his publishing gig with his first book, we pummeled him with water balloons. When my pet turtle died when I was eleven, I got a bucket of ice down my pants and a pie in the face. Basically the rule was to make the other person forget why they were so blue for a little while and remind them that we were always here.

“You wouldn’t dare.” I squint my eyes at her and she just smiles.

“Oh…I would.” She looks down the hall and nods before my mom shows on her side up holding a water gun and her hair pulled back into a pony tail.

“You guys are insane.” I laugh and hold my hands up over my head. “Don’t shoot.”

Zoe does a fake evil laugh and pulls a water pistol from her back pocket and points it at me. “You made us do this, Shug.”

I slowly crawl off my bed with my hands still showing, but making sure to keep a pillow in a close distance. “You can’t do this to me. Don’t I get a fair trial? It wasn’t even a full night. I’m innocent, I tell you. Innocent.”

“Save it. It’s all over now.”

“Mom,” I plead. “You can’t let her do this to me. I’m your only son.”

“I’m sorry, Sugar. I love you, but you’ve left us no other choice.” They both walk further into my room and she lowers the water riffle and points it at me. “Say your prayers, buddy.”

Before she could shoot I quickly grab a pillow from behind me and threw it at them both, before sprinting out into the hall and down the stairs.

“DAD, GET HIM!” I hear Zoe yell from behind me and just when I make it outside the front door, I’m grabbed from behind around my shoulders, and pulled down into the grass.

“Betrayed. By my own father.” I shake my head still trying to wiggle free but there was no escaping his grip. “How do you sleep at night?”

“Sorry, son. I just do what the ladies tell me.”

Zoe and my mom walk outside and with satisfied smirks. “That was a dirty trick you pulled there. Too bad it was your last.”

We really needed to stop watching mob movies as a family.

They shoot simultaneously and my dad lets me go but I’m soaked with seconds. My dad comes back with a huge bucket full of water and proceeds to dumb it over my head and all I could do is sit there and take it. The only thing truly hurting me were my abs from how much I was laughing. I never doubted my family’s methods in cheering up because somehow, they always worked. I also never doubted their methods of embarrassing me but somehow they always seem to amaze me.

“Ahem.” The sound of someone clearing their throat comes from behind me and we all stop and look up and I swear, I could have died right there. Without any explanation at all. That’s just how embarrassed I was. Why did things like this have to happen to me? I was a good person. Why were the gods working against me?

“Hi.” Was all he said and I wanted to lower my face into my knees and disappear.

“Who are you?” Zoe asks pointing her gun at him.

“Uh…I’m Finn.”

“I remember you.” My dad speaks up. “You’re the one that came to see Albie the other day, right?”

“Yes sir.”

He called my dad sir. I didn’t even call my dad sir.

“Sugar has friends?” Zoe teases now spinning her small pistol around on her finger.

“Shut up, Zoe.” I stand up and brush some of the grass of me, turning back to face him. “I have plenty friends.”

“Oh Yeah? Since when?”

My mom gently elbows her and she made a sour face at me.

“Hi Finn.” I finally said, still feeling like a huge joke. “Uh… This is my sister Zoe and my mom. You’ve already met my dad. We were just…goofing off.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Finn. I’d shake your hand but mine’s pretty wet.” My mom said in her most polite voice.

“It’s fine. It’s very nice to meet all of you. Sorry…I didn’t mean to interrupt your fun.”

“Oh you’re not interrupting. They were actually just all leaving….right?” I try notion to them to get lost but no one picks up on my subtle hints.

“No we weren’t.” Zoe places a hand on her hip.

“Yes, you were.” I hiss and turn to make a slight shooing motion with my hands.

“No we w—”

My mom elbows Zoe yet again and then pulls her away. “Right. We were leaving. We’ll just be inside if you boys need anything.”

When they’re all gone, it’s just Finn and I standing in my front yard, and water is still dripping form my hair and clothes and I still feel like the biggest idiot. I think crushes did that to people.

“How much of that did you see?”

“Just about all of it.”

“Oh my god.” I cover my face with my palms. “I’m so sorry. We aren’t usually that weird. I mean…we’re pretty weird, but not publicly.”

“I seriously wish my family was that cool.”

“Mehh…they’re alright. Uh...so…what’s up?” I couldn’t look him in the eye so I sort of shift my gaze from my hands to my feet and even the sky occasionally.

“Actually, I came to apologize about yesterday but, I also wanted to see if you could to hang out?”

“Hang out?” I finally look at him astonished. “Me?”

“Yeah. Who else?”

“Like…now? With you?” I had to bite the inside of my bottom lip to keep from beaming.

“Yeah. Unless you’re busy. You got my picture right? I thought maybe we could work on the drawing today.”

“O-okay…sure um, do you mind if changed first?” I say motioning to my soaked clothing.

“Nah. I was actually on my way home to change myself. I’ve been at practice all morning. I was thinking we could meet up in about an hour at the football field?”

“That sounds great. It’s a date….I mean not a date date...clearly, because we’re both boys and boys don’t go on dates…okay, I’m going to stop talking now.” I look down at my feet again. I wanted to slap myself. I always said the wrong things. My word vomit never failed.

“Dude you say the craziest things, I swear.” He places his hands in his pockets and laughs. “But I'll, see you later, right?.”

"Definitely."

I stay put while he walks off just in case he turned around to another wave, but he doesn't, and when he's disappeared around the corner and I was no longer in his range of sight, I fall the ground and burying my face into my hands.

“Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod.” I kept repeating the mantra to myself over and over trying to slow down my stupid heart before I went back inside. It was beating so fast I could hear it in my ears.

I was hanging out with Finn. He wanted to personally hand out with me. Alone. Together. Finn and I.

I didn’t care what anyone said to me right now.

It was so a date.