Sweet Like Sugar

Nothing. There was absolutely nothing there.

I feel over my smooth underarms yet again, hoping with shear hope and concentration I can make at least one hair grow. Then I wouldn’t feel like such a baby seal. God damn it.I bet Finn already had armpit hair.

I flex my arms growl a little at my reflection. Then I try a few different poses. I had to practice being tough. I couldn’t let Finn find out that I was actually as lame as I came off.

“Sup?” I nod and tilt my head with a scowl that tough boys always have. “Not much. Just chillin. Bro. I’m chillin, bro. Broski. I’m chillin, dude.”

“What are you doing?”

I jump at Zoe’s reflection in the mirror and turn around covering up my bare chest area. “Jesus Christ, Zoe! You can’t do that to people.”

“Oh my god.” She leans against the door frame pleased. “Are you seriously checking yourself out in bathroom…and why are you covering up like you have tits to show?”

“Get out! You are completely invading my privacy.” I crouch down and hide my face which was probably red by now.

“If you wanted privacy, you should have locked the door,dummy.” She laughs some more. “You are so embarrassing, Shug. I’m actually embarrassed for you right now.”

“Your face is embarrassing.”

Thank you quick wit. You’re a lifesaver.

I mentally high five myself before standing, pushing past her in the doorway, and going into my room across the hall. When I’m in, I make sure to lock the door this time.

After I’m dressed, I pack of my art supplies and Finn’s picture and start to head out.

“Where’re you going?” My mom asks practically grabbing my shirt and stopping me at the door.

“Out.”

“Specify please?”

“I’m hanging out with my friend. Mom, let me go, I’m going to be late.” I wasn’t really going to be late. I made sure to leave 20 minutes early just because I couldn’t stand sitting in my room and waiting anymore. But I still didn’t like being stopped and questioned.

“With Finn?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you have your inhaler?”

“I don’t need my inhaler. I’ll make sure to not do any heavy running.” I say trying to pull away from her death grip on my shirt. “Mom. I’m late. Does that mean anything to you?”

“Sugar, if you try leaving this house without your inhaler, I will for sure drop kick you.” She finally lets me go. “Get it. Now.”

“Well that was an unnecessarily violent thing to say.” I mumble before running up into my room and rummaging through my desk drawer before finally locating my dust covered inhaler, stuffing it into my bag, and running back.

“Okay. I’m leaving. Be back whenever.”

“Wait.” I’m stopped again just before crossing over the threshold of the front door and groan.

“What now?” I tilt my head impatiently.

“I put in a small grocery order at Buckley’s. Can you be my favorite person and pick it up for me?” She says handing me a twenty dollar bill.

I groan in response and she smiles because she knows that means yes. “Can I please leave now?”

“Yes, have fun. Be back before dinner please?”

“Maybe.” I say finally exiting.

“Don’t make any bad decisions.” She yells behind me.

“Ehh…I’ll think about it.”

The field was only a few blocks away so I took a slow walk there. I didn’t want to be too early and come off as pathetic but I was starting to get a little nervous. I didn’t know what to expect. I wanted so bad to know every single thing about Finn. It was ridiculous actually. Serendipitous things like this weren’t supposed to happen in real life.

It was stupid to think it was a date, I know. But honestly, it was probably the closest thing I was ever going to get to a date with him, so I was going to call it what I wanted.
When I get there, the field is empty just like I expected it to be so sit down in the shade under the tree, and wait.

After a few minutes of picking grass out of the ground, keeping my hands busy, and counting all of the cars that passed by, a total of 5, I decide to pull out my sketch book. I free draw a little and then a leaf falls into my lap and I try to draw that. The picture of the leaf turns out better than I expected but I decide it’s too boring, so I add a village with tiny citizen who lived on the leaf and before I knew it, I had an entire tiny leaf creature civilization drawn on the paper. When I’m done with my leaf, Finn still isn’t there so I turn to a new sheet of paper and I draw him. It’s not a good drawing, just a little cartoon doodle but, it looks like him and I even draw a tiny soccer ball next to it. I want to draw myself next to him but I choose not to, and end up drawing Talia. By the time I done drawing her, I can hear footsteps approaching and I look up to see Finn slightly jogging in my direction. He wearing a different version of what he always seemed to be wearing, a plain t-shirt and some gym shorts. This time the shit was white and the shorts were black with white stripes going down the sides.

I try not to smile but it’s to no avail because I’m beaming like an idiot by the time he’s actually in proximity. I stand to great him and I decide against going in for the handshake hug; I wasn’t confident in my ability to execute it correctly, so when he finally stops in front of me, noting happens and we both just stand there for a few seconds.

“Hey. Am I late?”

“No. I’m just early.” I place my sketch book back into my bag and put it back on.

“Cool. So…do you want to get started or…”

“Yeah…wait actually do you think you could come with me to Buckley’s. My mom asked me to pick up
something for her.”

“Sure.” He shrugs and places his hands in his pockets.

“Thanks.”

“No problem.”

We walk in silence for a few minutes and I want to say something but I’m scared because I always end up saying the wrong thing in front of him. Also, I hated small talk. I didn’t want to small talk with him. I really didn’t care how this particular day was going or if he liked the weather, I wanted to know his deepest darkest secrets and if he believed in ghost or not. So of course I just stayed quiet.

Every once in a while I would glance over to my right at him walking. We weren’t that close and he still had his hands in the pockets of his shorts and he looked ahead, or at the ground, or the sky, but never me. Pretending he was searching for the words to say to me as well, and that he was just as nervous as I was and it made me feel a little better.

Finally, just the sound of our feet scraping up against the asphalt becomes too much for me and I decide to just ask something stupid like how many pair of gym shorts he owned, but thankfully he beats me too it.

So…I’m really sorry about what happened last night.”

I look up at him expecting for him to still be looking ahead but he turns at the same time and we sort of lock glances for a few seconds before I can’t take it and look back down.

“The part where you puked on me or when your friend tried to fight me?”

“Uh…both I guess.” He rubs the back of his neck. “I didn’t even remember but Peeps called me and basically threatened to kill me if I didn’t apologize to you right away. God, I feel so stupid. I don’t usually get like that. And Mark is...well...to put it in simple terms, he’s an asshole.”

“You’re telling me.” I try to ignore the fact that Peeps called him, but it kind of reiterates the fact that they were closer than I thought and I still knew so little about him

“He can get a little carried away at times.”

“I’m pretty sure he hates me.”

“Don’t think about it too much. Mark kind of hates everyone a little. He’s older than most of us on the team so he sort of thinks he’s superior or something. Besides, he’s just jealous of you and Peeps.

“Me and Peeps?” I accidentally snort. “You don’t actually think there’s something going on between Peeps and I, do you?

He shrugs. “I don’t know. You two have been hanging out quite a lot recently.”

“Because we’re friends. We’re definitely not dating or hooking up of any sort.”
He gives me a questionable look.

“I’m serious.” I convince and he just laughs. “Why doesn’t anyone believe me?”

“I know Peeps, and she has never been just ‘friends’ when it comes to boys.” He does air quotes around friends and shakes his head in disbelief.

“Well we are. There’s a first for everything.”

“You don’t make out with just your friends.”

I feel my face start to heat up. “She told you we made out?”

“No. But you just did.” He laughs and elbows me in the arm. “Wow. I can’t believe you fell for that.”

“I...” I look down and away pretty sure that my face looks like a cherry. “It didn’t mean anything. We still just friends.”

“Sure you are.”

I hesitate because I was pretty much losing my argument. The only way to get him and every other person in Timbercreek to believe me was to explain that there was no possible way that Peeps and I could ever date. And I definitely wasn’t going to do that. Also, without even noticing, all of my nerves had somehow vanished into thin air. We even walking closer.

“I’m the one that should be questioning you about Peeps. You two seem pretty close. Why isn’t Mark all over your ass, too?”

He scoffs as if it was the most ridiculous thing he’d ever heard. “Dating Peeps would be like….dating my sister, if I had one.”

“Really?” I was actually glad to hear that but I didn’t let it show.

“Yeah. I’ve known her since before I was even born. Our moms were really close when they were pregnant or something. We basically grew up together. Don’t worry though, she’s pretty much hated me since we were 12.”

“I’m not worried.” At least not in the way he thought. “And I don’t think she hates you. She seemed pretty concerned about you last night.”

“Yeah…that’s her problem.” He stops for a second to gather his thoughts. He was acting similar to how Peeps started acting when I asked her about him. “She just gets so…I don’t know. She treats me like I’m some baby that she has to take care of all the time, and she yells at me about stupid things like she’s my parent or something and it’s just…annoying. She annoys me sometimes.”

“Oh…” It was senseless to be jealous of Peeps in this situation but judging by how they both acted, I could tell he probably loved her. Not in the same way I wanted him to love me, but it was definitely love.

We continue talking and he goes on to tell me about stories of Mark and Peeps getting into confrontations before that because it seemed to happen quite a lot. We’re so wrapped up in our conversation, we almost walk right past Buckley’s.

The only thing that stops us is someone yelling out his name.

I look up and I’m surprised to see Mark and his apparent partners in crime, Rowland and a few other boys from the soccer team. I even see Ben. There’s at least five of them just loitering around the entrance of the store. I get a little tense, because after last night, I wasn’t too fond of them anymore and I was almost positive Mark still wanted to kill me.

They’re doing what they always do because they obviously never had anything better to do than kick a ball around with each other and Mark waves Finn over to him.

I hesitate as Finn starts walking and when he sees I’m not with him he comes back and asks what’s wrong.

“I have a feeling if I go over there I’m going to get jumped.”

“What?” He sort of laughs. “They’re not going to do anything to you. Trust me. They’re really cool once you get to know them.”

The things was I didn’t want to get to know them. Enough of their personalities had come out last night and I wanted nothing to do with them. But I had to go into the store anyway so I just followed behind Finn like a lost puppy over to his group of friends.

“Sup Ferg?” Mark speaks up giving him a stupid head nod. “Whatcha doing?” He glances at me when he asks that and I’m sure he means ‘what are you doing hanging out with him?’

“Just hanging.” He shrugs “What are you guys up to?”

“Not much. About to go in and pick up some snacks. Funny seeing you two together.” Mark glances at me yet again and if I wasn’t such a coward, I would’ve asked what the hell his problem was.

“Yeah...well we were just about to go in too, actually. Albie picking up something for his mom.”

“Are you, Albie?” Mark mocks and the other guys laugh a little. “Well we might as well go inside together right?”

I roll my eyes and follow them all into the store. I wasn’t too hot about being back here anyway, since the whole magazine incident. Worst case scenario, the grandson would recognize me as the person who stole and have me arrested. I knew it was highly unlikely, but I didn’t want to be caught off guard by anything.

Luckily, it’s Mrs. Buckley behind the cash register this time and she greet us all by name as we walk into the store. I was pretty sure she knew that name of every person in this town and their parents. She was a nice old lady with long silver hair that she always had braided down to the side.

We greet her back as a group before I break off and go to pick up the order for my mom.
Ms. Buckley is pleasant about it and already has the order ready for me, so all I have to do is give her the money. She hands me a brown bag with a small carton of eggs, a bag of flour, a small bag of sugar and a carton on almond milk, and then my change.

When we’re all done with the exchange I thank her and then head back to the group of guys. I find them all in the furthest corner of the store, completely out of sight from Mrs. Buckley and gathered around in a group.

Rowland is leaning against an ice box with his arms folded and they all look pretty frustrated.

“My pockets are too small.” Finn says as I walk back behind him and Mark groans.

“Well I can get caught again or I’m going to juvie so someone else has to do it.” His arms are full of various snacks, and waits for someone to speak up but no one does. I still have no idea what’s going on.

“How about you, Shug?” Ben says and everyone turns to look at me. “No one would ever suspect you.”

“Yeah you’re right.” Rowland kicks off the freezer and walks toward me. “He even has a bag already.”

“Do what?” I asked confused.

“Nothing much.” Mark says with a devious smirk. “Just put all of these into your bag for us and walk out the store.”

“Uh...okay. Who’s going to pay for it though?”

Mark laugh along with the rest of them. “No one. That’s the point.”

“You’re stealing?!”

A hand covers my mouth fast. “How about you say that a little louder, huh?” Rowland hisses.

“Mmm.” I pull away and glare. “Get off me. And no. I’m not going to help you shoplift.” I was not going down that road again. I had already atoned for my sins.

Rowland shushes me again. “Who the hell even invited you?”

“Exactly. Finn, why are you hanging out with this guy?” Mark grimaces in my direction.

Finn sighs from beside me. “Albie...just…help em’ out okay?”

I can’t even believe what I’m hearing. I defiantly didn’t know a thing about Finn.

“Please? Just trust me on this?” Finn continues and I want to scream at him. Why? Why was he being like this? Why would he try to get me to steal for his delinquent teammates? No wonder he got along so well with them. He was just like them. He definitely wasn’t the person I thought he was. I was clearly blinded by fascination of him to see that. I was so upset and so disappointed. I didn’t want to get to know him if all I was going to find out was that he was a horrible person. I would have rather lived with my ignorant portrayal of him being perfect.

Still, his face was hard to say no to, so I handed over the bag and let Mark dump all of the things inside, but I didn’t look at Finn anymore. I couldn’t.

A few of them thank me and pat my shoulder and we all walk out of the store as if nothing had happened, and Ms. Buckley waves at us with the same cheerful smile as when we came in. It makes me feel nauseous.

Once we’re all out, everyone huddles around my bag and grabs their specific snack and I’m clearly irritated.

“Thanks, Sugar.” Rowland teases. “You’re a big help. We should do this again sometimes.”

They all start to walk off in a group again and leave just Finn and I at the store. I turn once to look at him, just to show how freaking upset I am, and then I turn to walk away.

“Wait. Where are you going?”

“Home.” I bluntly state not bothering to stop walking to talk to him.

“Why? I thought we were hanging out. Please, wait.”

“I don’t want to hang out with you anymore.”

“If you would just wait and let me explain….just stop please.” But I don’t, no matter how much I wanted to, I keep walking.

“Albie.” He grabs my wrist and spins me back around. “You’re not giving me a chance to explain myself. Please come back to the store with me.”

“So I can help you steal some more? No thank you. I thought you were different...but you’re just like them.” I try to pull my wrist away again but he has a tight grip around it. I remember this isn’t the first time this has happened and maybe if I wasn’t so mad I would’ve made a big deal over it.

“I’m not. If you would just come back with me I can show you that.”

He starts to pull me back and I struggle at first but give up soon being way too weak to break free of his grip. He pull me silently back down the sidewalk and into the store.

“Oh hello Finn.” Mrs. Buckley greets him again. “I was starting to think you weren’t coming back this time. And Sugar. It’s nice to see you again too.”

He lets go of my wrist and walk up to the checkout. “Sorry, Mrs. Buckley.” He then proceeds to dig into his pockets and pull out a fifty dollar bill. “That should cover everything they took. I’m really sorry, again.”

“Oh Finn that’s way more than enough. Let me at least give you change.” She starts to open her cash register but he stops her.

“Keep it, please. I insist.”

I start to get a sinking feeling in my stomach after realizing what was going on.

“You’re too good to me, Finn. Please just tell friends to keep out of trouble.”

“I’ll try, Mrs. Buckley. See you around.” He waves goodbye to her and then turns back towards me with a smirk.

“Oh.” I look down at my toes.

“Oh? That’s it?”

“Well…how was I supposed to know you were going to pay for it?” I fold my arms defensively. “What did you expect me to think?”

“I told you to trust me.”

He opens the door and we walk back outside. “Well…why don’t you just tell them you pay for it?”

“Because, if I told them, they wouldn’t feel like they’re doing anything bad. Then, they would have to go find other bad things to do. Things worse than stealing snacks.”

“Well that’s stupid.”

“Yes it is…but it works.”

“Sorry I accused you of being like them.”

“It’s fine. They’re all kind of assholes.”

“Are all of your friends assholes?”

“Uh…”He taps his chins for a few second and then turns back to look at me. “You aren’t.”

I don’t know why but it makes me blush and I pretend to examine what’s inside of my bag again just so I don’t have to keep looking at him.