Sweet Like Sugar

It was almost six on Friday and should’ve left for Finn’s game an hour ago, but instead I was scrubbing the kitchen floor. A lot of things had happened earlier in the day but when it all balled down, it was all Zoe’s fault. I look up from scrubbing just to shoot her the finger from across the room, only to have it returned with a cunning smile.

Rewind to a few hours ago when our parents were still at work.

Zoe, Luke and I had initially come into the living room together to watch a movie but they had been making out on the couch for almost an hour now. I never really understood how two people could literally sit and just kiss for so long, but maybe I just not an expert yet. Or maybe I’ve just never kissed anyone I’ve actually liked. Anyway, that’s off topic. The movie wasn’t good and just as I realized that, Peeps called whine to me the top 40 reason why shouldn’t have to get braces again. I listened to her silently, sketching little images of Finn, Lia and other various people I liked in my sketchbook. I think being a sort of emotional dumpster for my friends was my hidden talent. I secretly loved when people vented to me. It was nice when people liked you enough to tell you their problems and besides if I was listening to her, I didn’t have to hear the gross sounds Luke and Zoe were making.

Before we hung up, we made plans to meet at the field later together before the game and that was what I really excited about. I wanted to see Finn again as soon as possible. I made my heart race just thinking about it. He touched my hand, I know he did. I didn’t care if I was being stupid, and I knew that there was no possible way of him being gay, but still…I just craved so much more. Besides, there’s nothing wrong with unrequited love. If drunken hugs and hand touches were all I could have, then that’s more than enough for me.

When I came back from hanging up the phone, Zoe and her idiot boyfriend were staring directly at me with bucked eyes.

“What?” I wiped my face just to make sure there was nothing on it. I hated when people started at me, it always made me feel self-conscious.

“Sugar’s got a girlfriend…” Zoe sang in a mocking tone while cuddling back up into her boyfriend.

Mind you, the intervals in between me hearing this mocking statement or assumption were becoming shorter and shorter as the days passed. It stopped being funny to me a long time ago.

“Look at em’ he’s blushing.” Luke laughed. “So who’s the lucky lady?”

Before I can even deny anything Zoe answers for me.

“It’s Peeps. You know the little pretty one and she always wears the preppy ponytail?”

“Oh wow. You scored her? She’s hot.”

Zoe folded her arms across her chest and gave him a stern look.

“…I-I mean for a middle school-er you know. I don’t think she’s hot. I just…she’s a good catch for you brother, babe.”

I just rolled my eyes and Zoe did the same.

“I already told you, she’s not my girlfriend.” I sat back down in my spot on the floor to continue my sketches. “You know it’s really annoying that girl and boys can’t be friends without someone assuming that they’re dating. If it isn’t Talia , it’s Peeps or vice versa. Maybe I don’t even want a girlfriend.”

For some reason Luke took this as a cry for help and proceeded to tell me his advice for getting girls.

“Listen dude, you don’t have to worry about catching em’. It seems you have no problem in that field. Your problem is reeling them in. It’s a delicate process because girls are crazy and they don’t know what they want. You have to make them think that you’re what they want. You have to make them think it was their decision all along.”

Zoe hit Luke’s arm. “Can you not turn my sweet little brother into a womanizer. Besides, that’s not how you got me.”

“Sure it isn’t sweetheart.” He smiled and kissed her cheek but as soon as she turned away he used his hand as a barrier and mouthed to me See? Crazy. which resulted in him getting another whack in the arm from her.

“I’m not trying to reel anyone in. Peeps is just one of my friends.”

“Which makes it even better.”

“Is it so hard to understand that I just do not want to go out with her? Jesus.”

“Well why not? Don’t tell me you’re a fag or something.”

“Luke!” Zoe snapped.

I definitely wasn’t expecting that and I don’t know why, but it hurt. If I was a strong person I could’ve said something cool like “Yes I am, is there something wrong with that?” like the confident gay guys in the movies I had watched with Peeps lately. But I wasn’t strong, and every single moment I had like this reminded me of that. All I knew is that I could feel my eyes burning but I couldn’t cry. I had to hold it back, because if I cried, then that would be that same thing as saying yes and I had to deny, deny deny. I had to deny it until I died. I looked to Zoe to see if she’d heard it too but of course she’d heard it. She was sitting right there. God, I hated him. I hated him so much.

“No, I’m not. Why would you even say something like that?” I say trying to quickly mask my fear with anger.

“Dude, chill out. It was a joke. I don’t actually think you’re gay.”

I looked to Zoe again and I wanted to scream at her too. She was just staring at me like she was confused and I knew that everything was finally starting to make sense to her and I knew that it made me feel like I was going to throw up and I needed to get away from this as soon as possible.

“Well it wasn’t a very funny one and you’re an asshole.” I stood up ready to leave.

“Shug, calm down okay. He didn’t mean it. Luke, tell him you didn’t mean it.” Zoe finally spoke trying to ease the tension that had so swiftly filled the room.

“Fine, I didn’t mean it. Gosh, I was joking, doesn’t anyone know what that is anymore?” He shrugged and leaned back into the couch, picking up his jacket. “Maybe it’s time for me to leave.”

“Forever?” I folded my arm across my chest, giving him a death glare.

“Shug!” Zoe snapped at me placing her hand on Luke’s shoulder. “It’s fine, okay? You don’t have to leave. Sugar, apologize to him.”

“I’d rather drown myself in the river.”

In the end Luke ignored Zoe’s pleas to stay and they walked out the front door together.

I was still so angry. If it wasn’t clear that he’d unquestionably kick my ass, I would’ve decked him a few good times. I kicked the pillow that was on the ground to let off some steam.

A few minutes later I hear his car crank and the door slam behind Zoe after she walked back inside fuming.

“What is your problem?!” She yelled. “We had plans to hang out all day. You know I rarely get to see him since he’s so busy with his band and you’ve just ruined everything!”

“I didn’t ruin anything. He was the one who left. Besides, maybe that shows you shouldn’t date assholes like him.”

“You are the only asshole here, Shug.”

“Did you hear what he said to me?! He’s a jerk.”

“He apologized and beside he was just joking. You didn’t have to get so upset.”

“Well I am upset. You didn’t even stand up for me. You care so much about your stupid boyfriend than me. You don’t care if he insults me as long as he can stay here and tongue wrestle with your a little longer.”

“I did stand up for you. I made him apologize.”

“That was the shittiest apology ever and you know it. How are you dating someone who even thinks for a second that it’s okay to say things like that to people. Even as a joke. You can do so much better.”

“You know...I am so sick of you and Mom and Dad and everyone else telling me that I deserve better.

Have you ever thought that maybe I don’t want better? Maybe, here’s a shocker, I actually love my boyfriend. God, if I had to come around people who openly don’t like me, then maybe I’d be sort of be an asshole too. I am happy with him and that’s enough for me, but clearly that’s not enough for everyone else. The least you could do is show him some respect.”

“That idiot doesn't deserve my respect.”

“She picked up a pillow and threw it at me. “You are so infuriating. If we break up over this, I am going to kill you!”

I threw the pillow at me feet back at her. “Well in that case, I hope he dumps you just like all of your other idiot boyfriends.”

This time she came over and pushed me down. “Grow up.”

“You grow up.” I got back up and pushed her back from behind making her fall down as well.

Now I would just like to disclaim that I love my sister very much and for the most part we had a very good sibling relationship but when we fought, we fought hard.

“Let me go!”

“You let me go!”

“Get off me!”

“You get off me!

We had been rolling around and tackling, hitting, scratching and even biting each other for about five minutes before our dad walked in and separated us. If he would've never came, we would’ve probably killed each other.

And that brings us back to the present time, where we both were grounded for the night, unable to leave the house or use any sort of electronic and stuck doing chores. So of course, I had to miss Finn’s game.