Diary of an Obsessive-Compulsive Blonde
Chapter 4: Well, Spiders Are Scary!
10:23 October 23, 2007
Nurse's Office
Dear Diary,
Yeah, I'm in the nurse's office right now. Why, you might ask? You'll understand when I tell you what happened in biology today. But first, I'll tell how the rest of my morning went:
I woke up this morning to my extremely annoying alarm blaring. I hate that thing, but it's the only thing that can wake me up from my hibernation. I turned off my alarm, rolled off my bed onto the floor with a loud thump, and screamed in frustration when I saw what time it was. This just earned me angry shouts from my neighbors telling me to shut up. I lifted up my head, shook my hair out of my eyes, and got up. I opened up my closet door and surveyed my clothing options. A lot of my clothes (the nicer ones) are hand-me-downs from Danielle or Amber's half-sisters. Most of the hand-me-downs were barely ever worn. Some of them still have their tags on them when I get them! I guess Danielle and Amber's half-sisters are so rich that they can decide that they don't want that $800 sweater right after they buy it.
I pulled out my favorite pair of light blue, distressed jeans and a pink t-shirt with a picture of Edie Sedgwick on it. I quickly put my golden blonde hair up in a messy bun. Then, I hurriedly swiped on some mascara, foundation, and lip gloss. I grabbed my purse and ran into the kitchen, where I grabbed two pop-tarts from my mom and sprinted outside, down the stairs, and over to the bus stop just in time to catch my bus.
"Hello, Owen," I said to the bus driver.
"Good morning, Barbie. You were cutting it pretty damn close this morning," He told me.
"I know, I know," I took a seat at the back of the bus.
The bus was pretty empty because most of the students of BHHS feel that they are 'too good' to take the bus and many have chauffeurs like Danielle. I took out my English book and began reading "Romeo and Juliet." I was really behind and we had a big test on it in English today. I totally bombed it.
When I got to school, Amber and Ryan were making out in front of my locker again. I walked up behind them and cleared my throat. They kept on going at it. I cleared my throat again, louder this time. Still sucking each other's faces off. I cleared my throat a third time, this time so loud it sounded like a chainsaw. They were still unfazed. Finally, I slapped both of them across the face.
"Ow! What the hell, Barbie?" Amber asked, rubbing her cheek.
"What have I told you every fucking day since you guys got together? Make out in front of your own damn lockers!"
Amber rolled her eyes and said, "Sorry, jeez." She then kissed Ryan and walked off to her own locker.
Ryan leaned against Danielle's locker and said, "Hey. What's up?"
"Not much. You?" I replied.
"Same. So where's your first class?"
"I've got English in room 204 first."
"Cool. That's on the way to my History class. I'll walk you there," Ryan offered as I shut my locker.
"Oh, thanks! You know, Amber mad a good choice. You are quite the gentleman," I told Ryan as we walked down the hallway.
Ryan laughed, "I like to think so."
We joked around for a while until we reached my English class. Ryan gave me a one-armed hug, said goodbye, and walked away to his history class. Somewhat puzzled, I entered my English class and sat down next to Danielle.
"Hey! Did you get #14 in last night's homework?" Danielle asked frantically.
"Uh, Danielle, when was the last time I actually did my English homework?"
"Oh, yeah, sorry, I forgot," Danielle mumbled before turning around to ask the kid behind her.
Not much happened in English class. I doodled even more in my notebook and Ms. Winston yelled at me a few times. You know, the usual. Not much happened in Geometry either. However, I actually took some notes today, which just served to remind me why I never take notes and always copy off the kid next to me on tests. That shit is hard!
Anyway, it was biology when things started to get interesting. I sat down next to Parker, who seemed to immediately brighten up. I waved to Amber, who actually in class on time today. Then, once class started we continued our experiment from yesterday. All of a sudden, I saw the thing I'm most scared of in this world, a spider. So, naturally, I let out an ear-splitting scream, and fainted. I don't remember anything after that, as I was unconscious, but Amber and Danielle told me what happened.
Apparently Parker caught me when I fainted, and said, "What the fuck?"
The whole class went into chaos and people began yelling, "Is she ok? Is she dead? Someone call 911!"
Amber and Danielle calmed everyone down, then ran over to Parker and me and Danielle asked, "Where is it?"
"Where is what?" Parker asked, completely bewildered.
"The spider," Amber told him.
"She fainted because of a spider?" Parker asked in disbelief.
"She's arachnophobic," Danielle informed him, "Come on, we need to find it before she wakes up."
"Found it!" Amber exclaimed triumphantly, the spider in her hand.
She walked over to the open window and placed it outside. Then, when I didn't wake up, Parker got worried and he carried me to the nurse's office, Amber and Danielle at his heels. Once inside, he laid me on the couch and Danielle explained to the nurse what had happened. At that moment, I began to regain consciousness.
"Oh my god! Where is it? Where is it?" I exclaimed hysterically as I sat up.
Danielle put her hands on my shoulders and said, "Don't worry, Barbie. The spider is gone. You're in the nurse's office. You're safe, honey."
I took a couple deep breaths and calmed down, but was still shaking. "Okay, good, good, good. I'm fine. The sp-spider is gone."
Parker put his arm around me and said, "Don't worry, Barbie doll. The spider can't hurt you. I'll keep you safe."
I completely froze. Had I just heard what I thought I heard? Did Parker Cole just put his arm around me and say that he would keep me safe? I couldn't believe it. So, of course, I just sat there like an idiot. It seems like I always do when I talk to him. I hate that he can do that to me!
All of a sudden, he chuckled.
"What?" I asked.
"So, you're pyromaniac, obsessive-compulsive, and arachnophobic. Anything else I should know?"
I thought for a moment and then answered, "Well, I have ADD."
Parker looked up at the ceiling and then turned back to look at me, "Wow. You must be on some serious meds."
"Nope. None. My psychologist doesn't believe in drugs."
"You have a psychologist?"
"Yeah. My next-door neighbor. She doesn't even charge me or anything. She just counsels me because she's afraid I'm going to burn down our apartment building someday, or become a psychopath or something."
"Wow. Wow. Wow. You're even crazier than I thought, Barbie doll."
I smiled weakly, "Yeah. That's what everyone says."
After that, Parker went back to class and Amber and Danielle told me what happened while I was unconscious. I was absolutely mortified when I heard. I had to be an absolute retard if I thought that Parker Cole actually might like me, even a little bit. I'll admit, it was a thought at the back of my mind, but I must have been temporarily insane. Actually, I think I'm permanently insane. Well, at least I can plead insanity if I ever do become an arsonist. I guess my disorders may come in handy someday. Then, Amber and Danielle went back to class and I lay there for a while, a pack of ice on my head.
Suddenly, I heard loud voices as Chris Rinehart and Davey Windsor were dragged in, their hands and faces bloody.
"Jesus H. Christ," I muttered. They seriously needed to get over this. This was getting pathetic.
So, I decided to take this whole mess into my own hands. I walked straight up to the two boys as Ms. Lowe, the nurse, cleaned them up.
"Alright, I've had enough of this," I saw Mrs. Lowe nodding her head and I said, "We've all[i/] had enough of this. You're acting like children fighting over a toy. Davey, don't you see? This isn't all Chris's fault. Plus, he was totally wasted. He probably didn't even know who he was making out with."
I paused and Chris nodded his head in agreement. I continued, "This is Jessica's fault. She's the one who cheated on you. I know it's hard for you to admit it, but it's true. Now, say sorry to Chris."
"Sorry," Davey mumbled.
"Say it like you mean it," I ordered him.
"Sorry, dude. I was way out of line," Davey told Chris.
"Now, what do you say to Davey, Chris?" I asked him.
"I forgive you. We were both totally wack," Chris said.
Both boys began joking around and I smiled triumphantly and walked back to my couch.
"Are you kidding me? How the hell did you accomplish that? Those guys hated each other's guts two minutes ago, and now they're acting like best friends," a girl who had not noticed before in the corner said incredulously. I immediately recognized her as the shy freshman who sits behind me in Geometry.
I shrugged, "Teenage boys have the maturity of five-year-olds. If they insist on acting like children, then they should be treated as such."
"Wow. You should be a psychologist or something," the petite Vietnamese girl said, impressed.
I burst out laughing and the girl said, "What? What's so funny?"
"You obviously don't know me," I said. "I'm the school freak. I have OCD, ADD, arachnophobia, and pyromania."
The girl's eyes widened and said, "Well, you're very nice."
I laughed and said, "Thank you. What's your name, by the way?"
"Emily Nguyen."
"Barbie McBride. So, you must be pretty smart if you're in geometry as a freshman," I said.
"Yeah, I guess. My friends call me the human calculator," Emily said sheepishly.
I laughed, "What's your GPA?
"4.33. What's yours?"
Now it was my turn to be shocked, "Uh, no comment?"
Emily laughed a sweet, high-pitched giggle that made me smile.
"So, what are you in for?" She asked.
"I saw a spider in biology and fainted. What about you?" I asked.
"I have a fever," she said.
"That sucks. I hope you get better! Um, if you'll excuse me a minute, I have to go wash my hands," I told her.
I went into the bathroom and washed my hands thoroughly. When I reemerge into the nurse's office, Chris and Davey had left and Emily was being signed out by her mom. I waved goodbye and took out this diary to write. I'm bored now, so I think I'll go to Spanish class.
Adios,
Barbie
Nurse's Office
Dear Diary,
Yeah, I'm in the nurse's office right now. Why, you might ask? You'll understand when I tell you what happened in biology today. But first, I'll tell how the rest of my morning went:
I woke up this morning to my extremely annoying alarm blaring. I hate that thing, but it's the only thing that can wake me up from my hibernation. I turned off my alarm, rolled off my bed onto the floor with a loud thump, and screamed in frustration when I saw what time it was. This just earned me angry shouts from my neighbors telling me to shut up. I lifted up my head, shook my hair out of my eyes, and got up. I opened up my closet door and surveyed my clothing options. A lot of my clothes (the nicer ones) are hand-me-downs from Danielle or Amber's half-sisters. Most of the hand-me-downs were barely ever worn. Some of them still have their tags on them when I get them! I guess Danielle and Amber's half-sisters are so rich that they can decide that they don't want that $800 sweater right after they buy it.
I pulled out my favorite pair of light blue, distressed jeans and a pink t-shirt with a picture of Edie Sedgwick on it. I quickly put my golden blonde hair up in a messy bun. Then, I hurriedly swiped on some mascara, foundation, and lip gloss. I grabbed my purse and ran into the kitchen, where I grabbed two pop-tarts from my mom and sprinted outside, down the stairs, and over to the bus stop just in time to catch my bus.
"Hello, Owen," I said to the bus driver.
"Good morning, Barbie. You were cutting it pretty damn close this morning," He told me.
"I know, I know," I took a seat at the back of the bus.
The bus was pretty empty because most of the students of BHHS feel that they are 'too good' to take the bus and many have chauffeurs like Danielle. I took out my English book and began reading "Romeo and Juliet." I was really behind and we had a big test on it in English today. I totally bombed it.
When I got to school, Amber and Ryan were making out in front of my locker again. I walked up behind them and cleared my throat. They kept on going at it. I cleared my throat again, louder this time. Still sucking each other's faces off. I cleared my throat a third time, this time so loud it sounded like a chainsaw. They were still unfazed. Finally, I slapped both of them across the face.
"Ow! What the hell, Barbie?" Amber asked, rubbing her cheek.
"What have I told you every fucking day since you guys got together? Make out in front of your own damn lockers!"
Amber rolled her eyes and said, "Sorry, jeez." She then kissed Ryan and walked off to her own locker.
Ryan leaned against Danielle's locker and said, "Hey. What's up?"
"Not much. You?" I replied.
"Same. So where's your first class?"
"I've got English in room 204 first."
"Cool. That's on the way to my History class. I'll walk you there," Ryan offered as I shut my locker.
"Oh, thanks! You know, Amber mad a good choice. You are quite the gentleman," I told Ryan as we walked down the hallway.
Ryan laughed, "I like to think so."
We joked around for a while until we reached my English class. Ryan gave me a one-armed hug, said goodbye, and walked away to his history class. Somewhat puzzled, I entered my English class and sat down next to Danielle.
"Hey! Did you get #14 in last night's homework?" Danielle asked frantically.
"Uh, Danielle, when was the last time I actually did my English homework?"
"Oh, yeah, sorry, I forgot," Danielle mumbled before turning around to ask the kid behind her.
Not much happened in English class. I doodled even more in my notebook and Ms. Winston yelled at me a few times. You know, the usual. Not much happened in Geometry either. However, I actually took some notes today, which just served to remind me why I never take notes and always copy off the kid next to me on tests. That shit is hard!
Anyway, it was biology when things started to get interesting. I sat down next to Parker, who seemed to immediately brighten up. I waved to Amber, who actually in class on time today. Then, once class started we continued our experiment from yesterday. All of a sudden, I saw the thing I'm most scared of in this world, a spider. So, naturally, I let out an ear-splitting scream, and fainted. I don't remember anything after that, as I was unconscious, but Amber and Danielle told me what happened.
Apparently Parker caught me when I fainted, and said, "What the fuck?"
The whole class went into chaos and people began yelling, "Is she ok? Is she dead? Someone call 911!"
Amber and Danielle calmed everyone down, then ran over to Parker and me and Danielle asked, "Where is it?"
"Where is what?" Parker asked, completely bewildered.
"The spider," Amber told him.
"She fainted because of a spider?" Parker asked in disbelief.
"She's arachnophobic," Danielle informed him, "Come on, we need to find it before she wakes up."
"Found it!" Amber exclaimed triumphantly, the spider in her hand.
She walked over to the open window and placed it outside. Then, when I didn't wake up, Parker got worried and he carried me to the nurse's office, Amber and Danielle at his heels. Once inside, he laid me on the couch and Danielle explained to the nurse what had happened. At that moment, I began to regain consciousness.
"Oh my god! Where is it? Where is it?" I exclaimed hysterically as I sat up.
Danielle put her hands on my shoulders and said, "Don't worry, Barbie. The spider is gone. You're in the nurse's office. You're safe, honey."
I took a couple deep breaths and calmed down, but was still shaking. "Okay, good, good, good. I'm fine. The sp-spider is gone."
Parker put his arm around me and said, "Don't worry, Barbie doll. The spider can't hurt you. I'll keep you safe."
I completely froze. Had I just heard what I thought I heard? Did Parker Cole just put his arm around me and say that he would keep me safe? I couldn't believe it. So, of course, I just sat there like an idiot. It seems like I always do when I talk to him. I hate that he can do that to me!
All of a sudden, he chuckled.
"What?" I asked.
"So, you're pyromaniac, obsessive-compulsive, and arachnophobic. Anything else I should know?"
I thought for a moment and then answered, "Well, I have ADD."
Parker looked up at the ceiling and then turned back to look at me, "Wow. You must be on some serious meds."
"Nope. None. My psychologist doesn't believe in drugs."
"You have a psychologist?"
"Yeah. My next-door neighbor. She doesn't even charge me or anything. She just counsels me because she's afraid I'm going to burn down our apartment building someday, or become a psychopath or something."
"Wow. Wow. Wow. You're even crazier than I thought, Barbie doll."
I smiled weakly, "Yeah. That's what everyone says."
After that, Parker went back to class and Amber and Danielle told me what happened while I was unconscious. I was absolutely mortified when I heard. I had to be an absolute retard if I thought that Parker Cole actually might like me, even a little bit. I'll admit, it was a thought at the back of my mind, but I must have been temporarily insane. Actually, I think I'm permanently insane. Well, at least I can plead insanity if I ever do become an arsonist. I guess my disorders may come in handy someday. Then, Amber and Danielle went back to class and I lay there for a while, a pack of ice on my head.
Suddenly, I heard loud voices as Chris Rinehart and Davey Windsor were dragged in, their hands and faces bloody.
"Jesus H. Christ," I muttered. They seriously needed to get over this. This was getting pathetic.
So, I decided to take this whole mess into my own hands. I walked straight up to the two boys as Ms. Lowe, the nurse, cleaned them up.
"Alright, I've had enough of this," I saw Mrs. Lowe nodding her head and I said, "We've all[i/] had enough of this. You're acting like children fighting over a toy. Davey, don't you see? This isn't all Chris's fault. Plus, he was totally wasted. He probably didn't even know who he was making out with."
I paused and Chris nodded his head in agreement. I continued, "This is Jessica's fault. She's the one who cheated on you. I know it's hard for you to admit it, but it's true. Now, say sorry to Chris."
"Sorry," Davey mumbled.
"Say it like you mean it," I ordered him.
"Sorry, dude. I was way out of line," Davey told Chris.
"Now, what do you say to Davey, Chris?" I asked him.
"I forgive you. We were both totally wack," Chris said.
Both boys began joking around and I smiled triumphantly and walked back to my couch.
"Are you kidding me? How the hell did you accomplish that? Those guys hated each other's guts two minutes ago, and now they're acting like best friends," a girl who had not noticed before in the corner said incredulously. I immediately recognized her as the shy freshman who sits behind me in Geometry.
I shrugged, "Teenage boys have the maturity of five-year-olds. If they insist on acting like children, then they should be treated as such."
"Wow. You should be a psychologist or something," the petite Vietnamese girl said, impressed.
I burst out laughing and the girl said, "What? What's so funny?"
"You obviously don't know me," I said. "I'm the school freak. I have OCD, ADD, arachnophobia, and pyromania."
The girl's eyes widened and said, "Well, you're very nice."
I laughed and said, "Thank you. What's your name, by the way?"
"Emily Nguyen."
"Barbie McBride. So, you must be pretty smart if you're in geometry as a freshman," I said.
"Yeah, I guess. My friends call me the human calculator," Emily said sheepishly.
I laughed, "What's your GPA?
"4.33. What's yours?"
Now it was my turn to be shocked, "Uh, no comment?"
Emily laughed a sweet, high-pitched giggle that made me smile.
"So, what are you in for?" She asked.
"I saw a spider in biology and fainted. What about you?" I asked.
"I have a fever," she said.
"That sucks. I hope you get better! Um, if you'll excuse me a minute, I have to go wash my hands," I told her.
I went into the bathroom and washed my hands thoroughly. When I reemerge into the nurse's office, Chris and Davey had left and Emily was being signed out by her mom. I waved goodbye and took out this diary to write. I'm bored now, so I think I'll go to Spanish class.
Adios,
Barbie