Please, Take Me Home

Her?

Her.

Her?

Her.

I got it. My dry eyes blinked stupidly. My gaze never flickering from Hannah and her swishing hair as she left the apartment.

I knew what the her meant. It was the kind of 'her' that's not 'oh, yeah her with the black hair.'

No. this was the kind of 'her' that meant, 'her, her who could never be as good.' It also meant, 'I am most obviously better, come on just look at me.'

Oh yes, I had heard that 'her' before.

I didn’t notice Jack leave the room, silently brushing past Dave. It didn’t register until I shivered and looked to him, as in reassurance that she didn’t say that. But he was gone.

Not out of the apartment, Jack would never chase someone. Just gone from normal people world. Maybe I should go see about Mr. LalaLand.

"Way to go, Sally." Dave scoffed, his arms crossed.

Again my eyes were stupefied.

"This isn’t my fault." I bit, contrary to my facial expressions my words were sharp.

"Right, Sally, right." He gave me a dismissive look, before turning back to the dank hallway.

"What do you mean?! It was all Jack! I di-didn’t do anything!"

"Right, Sally, right." He repeated like a broken record. He wasn’t looking at me, but I could tell me was frustrated.

"No Dave! Stop it!" I was almost in hysterics. I was pretty sure Jack was in his room hating my already twisting guts, as was Hannah, but she didn’t like me to begin with so I wasn’t too concerned about that, but what had I done to Dave!?

"Just go away Sally." His shoulders were tense, he still wouldn’t look at me.

"I didn’t do a thing to you!" I stomped past him towards Jack's room.

"He actually liked her! Did you know that? But you had to ruin that didn’t you, like always!" He shouted to me, his hands clenched tightly at his side. If we had been in any situation other than this it would have made me laugh to see Dave this flustered, usually only puzzles and the occasional candy bar frazzled him this much. With his hair sticking up on one side like an erupted volcano and his shirtless chest heaving heavily, it was completely out of character, yet completely un-funny since his expression was of pure wrath.

"I didn’t do anything!" I shouted back, not as loud but with enough force.

"Yeah right, you were jealous! Admit it!" His teeth were clenched even tighter than his hands.

"I was not!" I said indignantly not bothering to yell.

"Right, Sally, right." He was a broken record. I ignored him and his freak out, opening the creaky door to Jacks lit up room.

For a person that appears so dark to most people, his room was oddly light. Not girly light, it just had fluorescent lamps with white shades. The walls were a stark white that stopped abruptly at the neglected-gray looking carpet, Jack was clean, but he wasn’t a house-wife. I'm not sure they owned a vacuum…

Jack was sitting at his muggy window half hanging out of it, a thin brown butt of a nearly gone cigarette was softly held in his fingers. His sock clad feet were resting on his made bed. His socks matched, mine never match… I don’t think Dave wears socks.

"Hey." I mumbled quietly, closing the door with a thud that was entirely too loud for the atmosphere hanging around us.

His eyes remained narrowed to the wind. He wasn’t in a mad posture. His shoulders were in their usual slightly hunched position under his thin blue shirt. Jack was skinny, almost too skinny but somehow it fit him. Somehow it added to his looks, sculpting out sharp cheek bones and large dark blue eyes. He didn’t have a pinched look that his small-ish nose and poutty lips usually brought out in people, he didn’t have a broad face either. It was bony and in no way model like angular, it was more gaunt, but not dark… Jack was full of contradictions it seemed…

"That's bad for you." I said breaking the silence we had blanketed around ourselves.

He snorted, in a dignified way, that shouldn’t be, but it was…

We continued on the empty conversation, he threw the butt out of the window, flicking his dark bangs out of his eyes.

I realized that the window was open and he was only in a t-shirt.

"Aren't you cold?" He didn’t answer, just recined into a more comfortable position against the wooden edge.

I took it as a no.

I stared at him a little longer, from his elongated fingers to the way his pants rested so perfectly right at the top of his foot, not showing an inch of ankle and never touching the ground.

Oh no.

Stop. Staring.

I do that a lot don’t I?

Oh no.

"Ja-ack." I mumbled, gripping my fingers tightly, shuffling my feet together.

He played with the inside of his cheek, biting it absentmindedly.

"I'm- I'm sorry." I whispered, leaning against the door, wishing I was smaller. Dave was right.for once.

I was jealous… that's why I didn’t like Hannah, that’s why I had a nasty habit of staring at Jack instead of into space. That’s why being with him was comfortably awkward.

Oh no.

Fuck you Dave, fuck you.

He glanced at me, standing up with a measured jump off the sill.

"Really?" He asked in a unquestioning way. More of an offhanded way.

I gulped, brushing my dry tongue over the roof of my sticky mouth.

"Yeah."

"Really?" One eyebrow was higher than the other.

"Yeah."

"Really?"

He was just being cruel now.

"Yes! Jack I REALLY am sorry!" I raised my voice, putting my hands on my shaking hips.

"Okay." He said bored like, sitting on the edge of his bed, crinkling the previously smooth sheets.

I sat down next to him, we both stared at the opposite bleached wall.

"Jack?"

"I know you're sorry."

"No..not that…" I started twisting my hands again. He didn’t make any recognition, I took that to go on.

"Did you, did you like her?"

Nothing.

"Jack?"

"I'm not deaf."

If you didn’t look close enough you would think he was still remaining emotionless, but you just had to know where to look. His knees were pressing tightly together, the bones probably crushing the thin skin.

"well-"

"Sally- go away."

My eyes widened in shock.

He still didn’t look at me.

I bit my lip, waiting a second longer, before leaving without a goodbye.

This seems to happen a lot.