Everything and Nothing

"What the hell, Anastasia?" Vic screams when Mike closes the door.
I flinch at his voice. It's laced with hate, I can tell.
"Can you tell me what you were thinking? I mean....JESUS!"
He gets up, grabs me by the shoulders, and shakes a bit. Tears well in my eyes as I try not to cry. Vic will never forgive me. And Tony...Oh God...
"Vic, that's enough."
"Mike, you have no--"
"VIC, that's ENOUGH!" Mike yells from behind me, grabbing Vic's arms and shoving them off of me.
"Mike, stay out of--"
"NO, you listen to me, big brother," Mike gets in his face, "Leave. Her. Alone. Now."
Vic looks at me, and sighs, shaking his head. I know what he's thinking, it's written all over his face. He's disappointed in me. I can see that. But he's hurting, too.
"Did she not tell you...?"
My eyes grow wide. No. He wouldn't.
"Tell me what?"
A laugh escapes out of Vic's mouth, making him shake his head even more. "This is too great...Wow, Anastasia, I can see that you were going to leave...without telling him. Wow."
"Without telling me what?"
"Vic....I can't believe you." I push past him into Mike's room, slamming the door shut behind me.
I run a hand through my hair, but realize that I need to get clothes on. I go to Mike's dresser and pull out shorts and a tee, slipping them on shortly after. An argument is going on downstairs, but I tune it out. Maybe Vic would just tease Mike that he knows something....No. Mike would force it out of him.
A few minutes go by, and I curl myself up under Mike's comforter. Tony's going to hate me. That's why I needed to go...
The door opens slowly. Mike stands in the doorway, his face paler than Snow White's. He comes and kneels by me, but I turn away.
"Tell me what Vic said wasn't true. I know you, Anastasia, and you wouldn't do that."
I'm stupid.
"Anastasia...Babygirl, talk to me."
"Mike," I choke out, "Please....Don't hate me...Please."
I feel him rub my back in a circle motion. "I could never hate you. But tell me why. Why would you do that if...?"
"I were pregnant?"
"Yeah."

///Flashback///

Vic is still eyeing me, holding the test in his hand. "Are you going to tell him?"
I nod my head.
"When?"
"I don't know, Vic."
"Anastasia, you have to tell him!"
"I said I will!"
He pulls me into a hug, rubbing my back. "I know, I know. But hey, congrats."
I smile. Yeah, congrats.

TIME SKIP: One Month Later:

I still haven't told Tony...I mean, how could I? He's been busy with the tour, I've been staying in from the long nights out, just in case I am pregnant. That's right, I don't know if I am for sure, though it's safe to assume.
I've taken five more tests since then.
They've all said positive.
I'm freaking out.
Arms wrap around me, and I turn my head. Angie? "Hey."
"Hi."
"Um...Are you going to let me go?"
"Not unless you come out with us."
I roll my eyes. "I told you no."
"I say you should. You haven't gotten drunk--or laid, for that matter--for a long time."
"There's more to life than that."
"I know, but, you're married, it's different for you."
I'm pregnant, so, yeah it's different. "I know, but I don't feel like getting drunk right now."
"You never do anymore!"
I can't believe she's getting mad at me for not wanting to get drunk.
"Anastasia, I don't know what the hell is going on with you, but come ON!" Angie says, clearly getting annoyed judging by the way she let go of me.
"Calm down, it's not a big d--"
"It is a big deal! You're not the same girl that I knew, Stas, you've changed! It's stupid. I mean, come on! What happened to the little spit fire? Huh? You're a boring person, and it's starting to piss me the fuck off."
I stare at her.
"And you have no back bone....Lovely. I'm done trying. Have fun alone."
She waves her hand and walks out of the bunk room. My chest feels heavy.
I lay down in my and Tony's bunk, and curl up into a ball. "Anastasia?"
"Hm?" It's Tony, that I know, but why?
"Are you okay?"
I nod my head.
"Babe, you don't need to lie," he wraps his arms around me as he lies down.
"I know."
"What happened?"
"She got mad at me."
"Why?"
"Because she says that I've changed since I don't want to go get drunk."
"Ah..."
"You think I've changed, don't you?"
"A little, but I don't care, I love you. Change is good."
"Tone."
"It seems like it came out of nowhere, but I think it's fine."
This is it. "Tony?"
"Huh?"
"When are we going to start a family?"
I hear him chuckle. "Not for another year, at least. I'm not close to being ready for one."
My heart breaks at his words. "Oh..."
He can sense I'm upset. "Hey, hey, hey, if you want to have one now, we can totally do it! I mean, whoa, wait. No. I did not mean it like that. I'm not ready for THAT, and it takes, like, nine months for that baby to grow...So...yeah."
I smile. "You're so weird."
"I know. But, I am being serious. If you want to have a kid now, we could."
I shake my head. "Nah, it's fine."
"You get where I'm coming from, right? Us not being ready, I mean..."
No. "Yes."
"You don't, I can tell by your voice." He sighs. "I'm traveling like crazy, I wouldn't be there for you."
"But Tony, you could take a little break after this tour and--"
"Anastasia, it's not that simple. I would. But we have the other guys to think about here, not just you."
Not just me...Wow...What a slap to the face.
"Wait, no, I didn't mean it like--"
"You did, Tone, and it's fine. I understand. Don't let your WIFE get in the way. Go. Have fun tonight."
I roll over and hope that he won't go. When people say that women test their men with these things, they're right.
He sighs, and gets up. "I will. Love you."

///End of Flashback///

"He doesn't want this kid, Mike...I felt cornered. I still do! He doesn't know about the baby."
"How? It's been--what?--two months now?"
I nod my head.
"How hasn't he noticed, is what I'd love to know."
I shrug. "I feel like he knows, but is in denial or something."
"Why haven't you've told him?"
He'll hate me. "Because I feel like he'll think it's my fault."
"It'd be his fault, too, since....well, it takes two to tango."
I nod my head. "I know, Mike."
"Babygirl?"
"Whiskey?"
"I love you, you know that, right?"
"I love you, too."
"Good. So, when I say this, know it's coming from the heart..."
I face him, and stare. "What did you do?"
"Well....We, uh, we..."