Everything and Nothing

"Spit it out, Michael."
"WecalledMamaPerry,don'thateme!"
He covers his face with his hands and I stand up.
"MICHAEL WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO THAT? I AM OKAY, SHE DOES NOT NEED TO KNOW!"
"IT WAS ALL VIC! HE CALLED HER BEFORE WE GOT HERE! IT IS NOT MY FAULT!"
"MIKE YOU COULD HAVE ST--"
The door bursts open, and in walks Mama.
"Anastasia!"
"Mama...."
I was expecting a scolding, an angry woman. Not this. She has tears in her eyes, and pulls me into a hug. "What happened?"
"I, uh, I--"
"She fell. Me and her were walking and she slipped on some ice and fell."
I look at Mike from my position in Mama's arms. So they didn't tell her?
"Oh, sweetie. Are you okay?"
"Uh...Yeah..YEah I think so."
"Good. Now, why did Vic call me here?" She pushes me away gently and turns to Mike. "Michael, I assume you know."
"Well...You have medical background and we need to make sure that...Um...That...Uh."
I give Mike my I-Will-Cut-Off-Your-Dick-If-You-Speak look.
"Michael, spit it out!"
"Anastasiaispregnantandweneedtomakesurethatthebabyisokay."
"Mike!" I snap.
Mama turns to me, her jaw on the floor. "¿Qué quiere decir? ¿Estás embarazada? [What does he mean? You're pregnant?]"
"Sí..."
"¡Dios mío! [Oh my God!] Voy a ser una abuela? [I'm going to be a grandma?]"
I nod my head. "Sí..."
She hugs me tightly. "No puedo creerlo! ¿Por qué no Tony me dijo? [I can't believe it! Why didn't Tony tell me?]"
"Él ... Él, uh, no sé ...[He...He, uh, doesn't know...]"
"¿¡Qué! [What?!]"
"Mama ... Él no quiere un niño todavía .... No sé qué hacer. [Mama....He doesn't want a kid yet...I don't know what to do]"
"Tienes que decirle, niña [You have to tell him, baby girl]."
"Mama, No puedo [I can't]"
"Puedes y lo harás. [You can and you will]"
"¡Sí! [Yeah!]" Mike yells, his fist in the air.
I look down at the ground. They're right. I have to tell him. But he won't love me if I'm pregnant...He doesn't want a kid.
"Okay...."
"Vic!" Mike yells running toward the door. "I told you she'd say yes!"
"!Vete a la mierda, Mike! [Fuck you, Mike]"
"Anastasia, lengua! [Language!]"
"Lo sentimos, Mama [Sorry, Mama]."

I sit in Mike's car. He immediately took me to my house after Mama left, just in case I changed my mind. Which I have. But it's not like he's going to let me wimp out now.
"You can do it, baby girl."
"I know....He's going to hate me."
"No he won't."
"Yes he will! He doesn't want a child...It's my fault."
"It takes two to tango." He winks at me, then gets out of the car and opens my door. "Now let's go."
"Okay..."
I get out, he shuts the door, and we begin to walk towards the house. Where does Tony think I am? It's almost midnight...Why hasn't he called anyone? Or is he still drunk and doesn't care?...
"Mike, maybe we should wait until tomorrow..."
"No, now or never."
"What if--"
"Look, Jaime's here, it'll be okay."
"What if it isn't, though?"
He stops walking and pulls me into his chest, "Then I'll be here for you. We all will."
The front door opens, and I can tell by the silhouette that it's Jaime. "Anastasia." He snaps.
I push away from Mike and step closer to Jaime. He looks pissed. "Jaime, what's wrong?"
"I don't understand how you can just leave Tony like you did! I mean, what the fuck is wrong with you? Do you not realize that he gets hurt easily by the things people say? And you just up and left him in the dirt! And for what? Mike? Are you kidding me? I thought you were better than that, Anastasia, I really did. This is just...Pathetic. What the hell do you want?"
"Tony's....Tony's hurt?" My voice barely above a whisper.
"Don't act like you wouldn't know that."
"Hey, Jaime, why don't you shut the hell up until you know what went on? Huh?" Mike says getting into his face. "Maybe if you would know what the fuck happened then you wouldn't be," his voice grows into a yell, "SUCH AN ASS TO HER!"
"Mike, get the fuck out of my face."
"Make me, bitch. Come on, talk low to me just like you did to her. Talk to me like I'm nothing!"
"Mike, I'm warning you..."
"Jaime, you and I both know that nothing's going to fucking happen. Apologize to her."
Jaime looks past Mike to me. "She doesn't deserve it."
"Mike...I knew it. I knew it was a bad idea to come here."
He turns to me. "No it wasn't, you are going to talk to Tony whether you want to or not!"
"Are you kidding me? Mike, open your eyes! It's clear that if Jaime hates me this much, Tony will hate me more! I don't want to face that!"
"Oh, boo hoo, poor little Anastasia is going to use her crocodile tears on us now. What a shocker."
I shove Mike to the side and slap Jaime in the face. "Did I shock you now, Jaime? Huh? Did that hurt?" I punch him in the stomach, I think it hurt me more than him since he didn't flinch. "Did he tell you WHY I ran out? Did he tell you WHY I chose to go out by myself tonight?" Jaime's silent. "Guess not! Go figure his drunk ass would forget to mention that he was being an ass to me, and made me feel awful! Fuck you, Jaime. Fuck. You!"
My breath catches in my throat. I feel like I'm being cornered again....Like in high school. Being pushed to the point of breaking, and past that. Funny how things never seem to change, isn't it?
I feel someone hug me, rubbing my back up and down, soothing. It's not working, though. Between the crying and...this, it's impossible to breath normal again.
Tony hates me...I hurt him...He hates me.
"Jaime, what the fuck is goin' o--Anastasia?"
He'll never forgive me. I wish Mike didn't follow me.
"Anastasia, what's wrong?"
I wish I chose to die and swam away from him.
"Baby, it's okay, it's okay."
I wish I decided to die that one night on the roof.
Someone else holds me and begins to hum in my ear the only song that can calm me down. "Through the Glass" by Stonesour. Only Tony knows that. But that's impossible, he hates me.
"Tony, don't--"
"Jaime, shut up."
Tony?
I look up and see that it is him. His eyes are bloodshot and puffy, like he's been crying, or sleeping, or both. I did this to him. "It's okay, Anastasia, you're here now, that's all that matters."
"Tony...I'm...I'm--"
"I know, I know...But you don't have to be sorry....I am the one who should apologize."
"Tony...I--"
"Please forgive me." "I'm pregnant." We say at the same time.