Eye's Like a Car Crash

Austin left and I was home alone, nothing to entertain my self with. As much as I wanted to call Josh I couldn't see my self doing it. I couldn't do it in the mood I was in. Right now the only thing I wanted to do was sleep and never wake up. There was nothing on TV, nothing on Netflix so I decided I'd clean the mess of our small flat. I got my iPod and connected it to the surround sound. "Devils Night" by Motionless In White echoed throughout the small house. I sang and screamed along to it to the top of my lungs. Letting the anger and sadness leave my system.
"What can you take from me? When there not a single fucking day I haven't fought to stay alive!"
I broke out into song, pretending like I was performing a huge crowd yelling my name.
I soon felt a relief that only music could give me. It was peacefulness that nothing else could compare to, it gave me a sense that things would be okay and the way things are going I really need it too.
Once I was finished cleaning the bathroom, kitchen and bedroom, I made my way to the bed to see if anything was on TV. Of course nothing so I decided to slip on a move I had laying around. I made some popcorn and got into my bed. It was nice being alone. Usually I could never blast music and just sing along because Austin would get a "headache"
The movie finished right around midnight and my eyes started to droop so I put my bowl away and hugged the covers close to me and fell asleep.
Hours later there were noises coming from the kitchen. I got up to see if it was Austin. The clock marked 3:24 in the morning. A drunk Austin stumbled towards me his words were slurred.
"Oli what are you doing up? It's past your bedtime" he said jokingly
"I just wanted to make sure it was you Aus come to bed you look tired"
He walked closer to me and the stench of alcohol lingered from his body as if he showered in a keg. He took me by my waste and started to kiss me. The flavor of his mouth made my stomach churn and flip.
"Aus stop"
I tried to push him off of me but he forced himself onto me. Pushing me against the wall, he forced his mouth onto mine and shoved his tongue down my throat. As much as I tried to pry his hands off of me I couldn't, he was stronger and always overpowered me.
"Austin please stop please" I begged and begged but he just went on. He threw me onto the couch and ripped off my shirt. Undoing his belt buckle I squirmed under him trying to get loose from his grip.
"Aww come on babe you know you want it"
And that's the thing. I didn't. Not like this.
"Austin get off of me!" I yelled tears now rolling down my cheeks, my voice shook fearing of what he might do to me.
He bent down over me and put his hands around my throat, cutting off the air.
"I thought I fucking told you to watch you tone Oliver. Now you fucked up now you'll get it."
Releasing my throat, I gasped for air, closing my eyes and feeling a tightly clenched fist collide with my face. He picked me up and threw me to the ground like a rag doll. It's a lethal combination when he's drunk and angry. He pulled me up and pushed me into the wall. I heard my arm crack as I collided with the wall. Dust from it came flying down to the floor with me.
"This is the last time I'm going to tell you Oliver! You watch what you say to me, if I tell you something you respect it am I clear?"
His voice echoed through the dimly lit house.
"I said am I clear?"
Conjuring up the little voice from my broken body I whispered to him
"Yes sir, we're clear"
This time he hit me harder than before. He's never thrown me and I'm sure he broke my arm. There's no use in going to the hospital without having a good excuse. No one can find out about this.
"I can't stand to be near you right now you worthless cunt"
Austin got a jacket from the closet and walked out the house slamming the door as if it were me.
"Shit, he really fucked me up this time."
It took me a good five minutes to be able to get up off the ground because of the amount of pain I was in. My arm was starting to swell and an excruciating pain shot into it. It was definitely broken or at least badly sprained.
Austin was gone and I had no car to be able to get to the hospital to be checked out. I limped over to my night table to get my phone and call my best friend Hannah. I knew she'd take me.
"Hello? Oli? You do know what time it is right?" She spoke groggily into the phone.
"I'm sorry Han but I need you to take me to the hospital it's an emergency"
"Fuck Oli I'll be right over just give me twenty minutes"
In the time Hannah took to get to my house I came up with an excuse as to how I got hurt.
Hannah's light knocking came as a relief. I opened the door revealing a tired yet smiling girl.
"Oli what happened to you love?"
"I was coming down the stairs from my room to go to the kitchen for some water and I missed a stair and went down hard."
"Alright come on let's get you fixed"
It was a cold night but I didn't bother getting a hoodie because with my broken arm it wasn't a choice. Hannah's car was warm so I was good once I got into it. It smelled like her various perfumes, which I didn't mind. All the houses were dark and the only source of lights were the street lights and Hannah's car lights. It was quiet, a peaceful silence blanketed by darkness. The roads were empty so it didn't take so long to get the hospital.
Right now the emergency room wasn't as packed as it would be during the day.
"I'll go sign you in, go sit down for now alright love"
"Thanks Han"
That's what I loved about Hannah she always took care of me when I needed her. The time I had the flu she stayed with me for a week, made me soup and made sure I didn't die, which is nice.
She came towards me, yawning and stretching her arms out and preceded to sit down.
"So you fell?"
"Yes, down the stairs"
"Then how'd you split your lip and get a bruise under your eye?"
Fuck. I didn't think about that.
"Uhh I thought I told you I hit my face on the railing"
She seemed satisfied with the answer until she came up with another question.
"Wait why didn't Austin take you?"
"He's not home right now"
"Where is he then?"
"Why are you asking so many questions? he's just not home okay"
"I just wanna make sure everything's okay Oli don't fucking get mad about it"
"Sorry I, it's just my arm hurts and I'm tired"
"Oli please I know there's something wrong, you're hiding something. I know you like the back of my hand, did you and Austin fight?"
"No and I'm not hiding anything"
"Then explain to me why you're wearing make up."
"I have bad under eye circles"
"Then why is it on your cheek?"
"Hannah stop! There's nothing wrong with me, there's nothing wrong with Austin and I, everything's fine so stop with this interrogation"
Before she could reply to me a small nurse appeared asking for me.
"Oliver Sykes, we're ready for you"
"Don't think we're done with this conversation Oli"
At some point in time she was going to drag it out of me. I've avoided her finding out for the longest time but this time I could feel my self on thin ice. My world would come crashing down suffocating me under the rubble.
We were led into a small white room with a bed and medical supplies. I went towards the bed and the nurse came to me. She asked what had happened and what hurt. Explaining what happened, Hannah's gaze burned into my body.
A doctor soon came in to see what was wrong and said I'd need X-rays to see if my arm was broken or sprained. He and the nurse left and told us to wait until they came to take us to the X-ray room.
"Oli?" a worried tone in her speech.
"Yes Han?"
"Are you, um"
I could tell what she was going to ask by her eyes.
"Are you hurting yourself again?"
"No Hannah, you know I wouldn't do it again you made me promise"
"I know I did but it's just lately you've been really quiet and we don't hang out as much, you're wearing long sleeves again and when we talk you always sound so sad, Oli please don't lie to me"
"I'm not lying to you Hannah I told you if there was something wrong with me I'd tell you"
She walked over from where she sat towards me and looked me in the eyes.
"Oliver Scott Sykes I know you're scared to tell me, just like you were when you told me about your self harm. I loved you then and I do now all I want to do is help you, Oli please I don't want you hurting"
She put her arms lightly around me making sure she didn't squeeze me and hurt my arm. I rested my head on her shoulder and before I knew it I was crying historically into her. This is my one and only chance to get away from this life and make it better. No matter how hard or how scared I was I had to tell someone because I couldn't do this alone.
I looked into her eyes and started to talk.
"It's Austin"
"What happened with Austin love?"
"He doesn't mean to he just gets mad sometimes"
"What do you mean Oli? Does he?"
"Austin hits me Hannah, and really badly. He came home drunk and he wanted to have sex but I said no and he tried to force me but he got mad and hit me and left"
"Oli oh my god my poor Oli you don't deserve this, I'm going to kill Austin. I'll make him wish he never even met you"
"No Hannah! You can't! Please he'll just take it out on me I know it!"
"Oli you can't do this any longer look at you, you're in the hospital because of him. Let me help you break up with him. We can get your stuff when he's not home, you can stay with me I have space. But please Oli you can't go back to that I don't want you to get hurt"
"Can I come home with you when we leave? I can't see Austin with a cast on my arm"
"Of course you can Oli"
Three long hours past and I had a cast on my arm. My gut was spinning inside me and I felt light headed as anxiety coursed through my veins. On one hand I told someone what was happening and on the other I was terrified to see its outcome.
"Let's go get some breakfast Oli, my treat"
"Alright where to?"
"Amy's, your favourite"
Great, most likely Josh will be there and ask about my arm and I wasn't up for giving an explanation. Maybe he wouldn't be there just maybe.
"Welcome to Amy's would you like a booth or table today?"
"Booth please"
It was filled with older people because of the early bird special. They all just starred at us as if we were from another planet. I'm guessing they did so because they were looking at two young tattooed people and one had a broken arm.
We sat down at our booth and I looked around to see if Josh was there, and he was. He was walking towards us and I ducked my head just a bit so he couldn't see me. Great just who I wanted to see. Hannah jumped out of her seat and ran towards him, arms open. I guess she knows him.
"Joshy! I didn't know you work here"
"Yea I started not to long ago, what are you doing here so early? You're never up before ten"
"I had to take my friend to the hospital and we just got out so I'm treating him to some breakfast, wanna meet him?"
"Sure"
Shit. Fuck. Shit. Mother fucking shit. I really wasn't in the mood to even look at Josh right now.
"Josh this is Oli, Oli this is Josh my cousin"
"Hi Oli, I've met him Han he came in with his boyfriend and then we met again at the super market"
"Hey Josh, sorry I didn't text it just things haven't been going to well as you can tell from my arm"
"It's okay looks like it hurts what happened?"
Hannah interrupted "He fell that's all no big story to it"
"Josh" an older man approached him. "You're here to work, not to socialize so take their order and put it in, now"
"Yes sir, sorry about that my boss can be a dick sometimes, so what do you guys want to drink."
"Coffee please" Hannah and I said in unison.
Josh went to get our drinks and soon returned with them.
"I get off at five today, you guys wanna catch a movie tonight? Austin can come too Oli"
Just hearing Austins name made my head spin. I did not want to confront him anytime soon.
"Sure Josh, Oli and Austin really aren't on good terms right now so it'll just be us three"
"Great see you at the theater around 5:40?"
"Sounds good Joshy"
Josh walked away with a smile from ear to ear.
"Really Hannah? You didn't even let me speak, and did you really have to go and tell him Austin and I aren't talking right now? I don't want to go and besides I smell like hospital and I don't have clothes so it's a no from me"
"Oli the reason I said yes is because I want you to get to know Josh, he's cool I know you'll like him, and I wanna get your mind off things because I care about you. And I'm sorry about the Austin, thing you're right it wasn't my place to say and you do have clothes at my flat, you always have had clothes there."
"Alright fine we'll go but I wont enjoy it."
"You can be so difficult, you know that right?"
Making a kissy face to her I said "But you love me"
Five forty was a while from now and hopefully time went by slow because I have a bad feeling about this.