Eye's Like a Car Crash

"I hate to admit it but this is actually really good."
"I told you'd like it."
Josh ate most of the pizza only leaving behind two slices for Hannah. He really must have liked it.
"Want me to show you some of my songs now?"
"Sure why not"
He took out his phone and went straight to the music app.
"They're rough demos but I'm really proud of them, this first ones Bite My Tongue. It's one of our faster tracks."
For the first time heard Josh's ability to sing and this kid has some sick pipes. He put on another song, The Swarm I think it was. Then he put on a soft, slow placed song, Crash. When he sung slowly and softly it was enough to make you want to cry. Well at least it was for me. Josh sat there across from me grinning widely, happy that I liked his songs. They are really good, him and his band has a lot of potential. It's amazing to see his eyes sparkle, the way he talks about his music really shows his passion for it. His face lights up and he waits for your approval. It's really cute if you ask me.
"Now that you've heard mine. Can I see what you've written?"
Up until now I've never really shown any one what I wrote. I did show some verses to the band I was in but we always ended up practicing other peoples songs. I never even let Hannah read them. They can be dark and really personal, and sometimes people don't know how to take that. I guess he could be an exception. After all he did show me his and to show someone what you're most proud of takes guts. I went to my room to get my beat up notebook and flipped the pages trying to find the perfect song to show him. I just decided to let him look through it.
I handed it to him and he opened up the worn out leather book.
"Oli I-"
"You don't like them do you? It's okay they're kinda dark I get it"
"No no they're amazing. Chelsea smile is beautiful. Honestly you've got talent"
"You really think so?"
"Yes I mean have you read any of this? you've got a mouth like a razor blade it cuts so deep kiss my neck my wrist give me eternal sleep. It's morbid but beautifully dark, kinda like a Tim burton film"
"Thanks Josh that means a lot to me"
It was nice to be able to hear that someone likes what I write. Maybe I will call up the guys and see if they want to get the band back together.
"Hello to my two beautiful boys!"
"Hey Hannah" we said at the same time.
"I smell vegan pizza, work of Oli I guess"
"Well Josh did help me by carrying the bags so give him some credit"
"As long as you saved me some I will"
I decided to grow a pair and tell Hannah what I did. I didn't want to but Josh was right, she needed to know. She helped me through it once so she can help again. As much as I thought that she'd be mad, she wasn't. She was understanding, but she did want to punch Austin. Multiple times. The only annoying thing is now, I was on watch. Josh and her had to keep an eye on me to make sure I didn't slip back into old ways.
"It's for your own good Oli pop"
It was late by the time we finished talking and eating. Han was asleep on the couch with the tv on. I put a blanket on her and turned the tv off. She was bound to fall off of it at some point in time and go to her bed anyway.
In the bathroom I inspected my arm. I rewrapped it to make sure it wouldn't get infected. That's the last thing I wanted. It's funny how some people can be responsible for the amount of pain they put you through. Even the amount of pain you put yourself through.
"I'm sleepy Oli, I'm gonna go to bed. You'll be fine?"
"Yea, I'll be there in a bit"
I couldn't stop thinking about how we kissed. His lips were soft and it was perfection. I was scared to get close to Josh, I really do like him but I don't want to get hurt or hurt him. He was in my bed and I didn't know what to do. I can't tell him to go on the couch again that'll just be rude. Maybe I could just make some space between us.
Josh was fast asleep, facing the wall he pulled the blanket up to himself. Josh is really cute, the slightest things he does can make me smile. He had the blanket all to him self and it was adorable. Like a little kid cuddling his teddy bear. I slipped into bed and pulled a bit of the blanket off of him. He warmed it up. Josh cuddled into me. His head was resting my chest and he had his arm wrapped around me. I put my arms around him and ruffled his soft brown hair. Thankfully the pain in both arms had subsided.
"G'night Oli"
"Night Josh"
*Josh's POV*
I was trapped in a jungle of blankets when I woke up having to use the bathroom. Oli was spread across the bed and his right leg rested on mine. He was a messy sleeper.
"Oli wake up I have to piss"
He was a heavy sleeper too. I started to shake him and he just turned around to face the other side and sleep some more.
"Oliver god damn it wake up before I pee on you"
He still wasn't waking up. I restored to my last hope. I pinched his nose and he woke up flailing his legs and gasping for air.
"What the fuck is wrong with you Josh?"
"I just really have to pee"
"So you decided it'd be a good idea to suffocate me?"
"Desperate times call for desperate measures"
He got up and let me out and I ran to the bathroom. His bed head was adorable. I wanted to make breakfast but because he was vegan I didn't know what to make. I think coffee for now would be good I want that hungry anyway.
"Is there any for me?" Oli asked still with a groggy voice.
"Yea there's enough"
"So anything planned for today?"
"Yea I have to go to work in a bit and after I have band practice why?"
"I don't know I just don't want to be bored today"
"How about you come to band practice with me and you can meet the guys"
He smiled and his brightened when I said that.
"Yea that'll be fun"
"Alright I'll pick you up after work and we can go"
"I'll be waiting"
I took a quick shower and hummed the tune of one of my songs. My shift was bound to go by fast because the breakfast and lunch rush was enough to make four hours seem like two minutes. Once it was past four it starts getting slow. Only a few customers, mostly older people came for an early dinner. I took my break and ate some mozzarella sticks. I was playing on my phone as it buzzed with a message.
"Are you almost done? I'm bored, it's Oli by the way"
I smiled while I typed my answer and hit send.
"Just an hour an a half left not to long"
"We'll hurry!"
"Patience is a virtue babe"
"babe? ;)"
Did I really just call him babe? I really need to monitor what I write before I actually send it.
The time passed by and only one annoying customer made my life difficult. Their kids kept throwing the chocolate chips from their pancakes at me. To make up for it their parents gave me a good tip. I was exited to get to see Oli and be able to show him what my band can do. Well mostly excited to see him. I picked him up back at Hannah's flat and we headed towards the house Dan and Max shared. We talked about the most random things, one minute about Oliver's love for dinosaurs and then how he wants to have his own clothing line one day. He really has some great ideas and some odd things he likes. It's really nice to see him smile. I hate seeing him upset it physically hurts me and I'm not sure if that's love or something else, but whatever it is I guess it's good. We arrived to the house and I knocked on the door obnoxiously.
"I'm not going to let you in if you can't knock normally Josh"
"Aww come on Dan humour me"
He opened the door and gave me a stern look.
"One day you're going to break the fucking door"
"And I'll kiss it to make it all better"
"Who's your friend?"
"Oh this is Oli, Oli meet Dan, Dan meet Oli"
"Hey Oli, you come to watch us play?"
"Yea Josh showed me your demos you guys are really good"
"Awww you're nice, come in leave Josh outside though"
"Go fuck yourself Dan"
I led Oli inside and he was looking around observing the house. He had his finger around the belt loop of my pants like a little kid does to his dad. We made our way into the spare room we used to practice in. The rest of the guys came in and picked up their instruments.
"Aren't you going to introduce us to your new friend Josh?" Matt asked looking towards Oli.
"Oh right sorry, this is Oli, he came to watch us practice, Oli this is Max, Chris, and Matt."
"Hey nice to meet you all" Oli said biting his lip and playing with the hem of his shirt. He must be a bit nervous.
"Josh this is band practice for band embers only why is he here?"
"Chill Max I invited him to hear us"
I gave Oli a chair and we did our warm ups.
"Alright we'll start with Loverboy"
The tune filled the house as the music picked up. We were all doing what we did best. I kept glancing as Oli to see his expression. He had a smile on his face and was tapping his foot while drumming along on his knee. The song was over before I knew it and I was amazed at how good it came out. Usually we'd stuck up somehow but today the song came out perfectly. After Loverboy we picked up with a Crash. The entire time I was singing I couldn't help but think about Oli. The way we kissed filled my bones with ecstasy and it was enough to make me lightheaded. I looked at him and he bit his lip causing me to blush, which didn't go unnoticed by the guys.
"Aww little Joshy's gone all red" Chris mocked
"Looks like someone has a crush" Dan added
"Shut the fuck up, can we just go on with practicing and not focus on Josh's fucking face"
"Damn Max the hell has you by the balls" I said rolling my eyes at him "Start with bite my tongue, asshole"
There was something wrong with Max because he never acted like this. He always contributed to making fun of me, in a playful way of course. From the corner of my eyes I could see him giving the death stair to Oli, of course causing him to lower his head.
"Let's take a break. Max can I talk to you?"
"Whatever"
We walked out the room and I followed him into the kitchen where he got himself a water bottle.
"What is your problem? Why are you being such an asshole for?"
"No reason Joshua"
"Max don't be a dick, really what's wrong?"
"Your new boyfriend that's what! You think you can bring him along and clearly sing Crash while you make lovey eyes at him and it's okay? Well it's not Josh it's fucking rude"
"He's not my boyfriend and if he was I can bring him anywhere I want and besides I didn't know you'd be mad. I thought we'd come to agree to see other people, I though we were over each other by now. I'm sorry"
"No Josh you're over me, and it's obvious you love him. Just leave me alone"
"You know what I do love him and you have no right to treat him like you did"
I walked away and went into the room where the other guys were in sitting silently.
"Come on Oli we're leaving"
He got up and waved goodbye as we made our way to the door. I slammed it shut and it made Oli flinch a bit.
"I'm sorry about that Oli. Exactly how much did you hear?"
"All of it" he began to speak again but stopped himself.
"Do you really love me?"
"Yea, a lot actually"
I got into the small car and we just looked at each other.
"Do you wanna go somewhere. Just us two?"
"Is this your way if asking me out Josh?"
"It kind of is"
I drove to a small coffee shop that was near the campus I stay at. It's really homey there it kinda reminds me of the coffee shop from Friends. I parked and put some change in the meter. Oli came up behind me and placed a kiss on my cheek.
"I love you too, but I'm scared"
I turned to face him. His eyes were sad and dark.
"Are you afraid to be hurt?"
He nodded his head.
"I get it Oli. You've been through a lot of shit but I promise you I will never hurt you, physically or mentally. I don't want to see you cry because it kills me, I only want to make you happy, I'll never treat you like Austin did"
He wrapped his arms around me tightly and buried his head into the crook of my neck. I could feel how fragile he really is.
"Josh you're amazing"
We walked hand in hand to the entrance of the small shop and headed to confer to place our order. We both got coffee and some pastries they had in display. We sat on the couch and cuddled into one another. There were only a couple of students in there studying and minding their own business. The small cafe was playing some old tunes I didn't know the names too, but we're good enough to relax to. I put my arm around Oli and he got closer to me. Our bodies felt like one as warmed each other up. Nothing could ruin this moment.
"Josh is our relationship going to make you and Max fight? I don't want to interfere with your bands music. It'd be okay if we just stay friends"
"Don't worry about it love. Max will get over it I promise"
*Oliver's POV*
Being pressed up against Josh and just relaxing on him made me feel something I haven't felt in a while. I was happy at the moment. And not the happiness you fake to be able to ignore the sadness, genuine happiness. But that's what scared me. I don't want to base my emotions on one person. I really do love Josh but I'm afraid to get close, I'm afraid that if I make one mistake I'll loose him. I'm still in the healing process of my last relationship and I can't tell if it's to soon for me to be in another relationship. He is a good guy, he's been there the times I've needed someone and he really cares about me. Maybe I just need to bite the bullet and take a chance.
His head rested on mine and everything seemed so unimportant. His hand slowly rubbed my back in a protective manner and that's what made me want to take a chance. His little gestures showed his love for me which is what Austin never did. Josh, he's different and I need something different in my life. Even if it's to soon.
"Josh" I said sitting up and focusing on his eyes "I've known you for such a short time yet I feel like I've known you all my life. I guess what I want to ask you is if you'd want to be more than just my friend"
"I'd love that"
His smile brought one to my face. I placed one small kiss on his cheek and he took my hand in his. We got up and made our way to the exit and then to the car. My arm around his waist and his head on my shoulder. Like the gentlemen he is, he opened my door and closed it once I was in. We drove off to a park and went onto the swings. It was getting late so there wasn't that many people there. We slowly swung while in silence. The stars were out and we decided to lay in the grass and gaze at the infinite night sky. We laid there for what seemed like hours just talking about the smallest things. Our hopes, dreams and other things that made me see Josh in a whole new light. Before we knew it, it was midnight and the park security was kicking us out. The streets were still bustling with people heading to the nearby clubs and bars.
"Let's go home and watch a movie, yeah?"
"Sure sounds good"
The flat was quiet and I went to Hannah's room to make sure she was there. She was sound asleep lost in a forest of blankets. Josh made some popcorn and got some drinks for us. We sat down and I laid my head on his lap. Throughout the movie Josh was running his fingers through my hair or just rubbing my back. His touch made my stomach flutter with butterfly's. I sat up to cuddle into him. Josh's eyes were starting to droop and I could tell he was going to fall asleep. Before the movie ended he was knocked out. I took the blanket and laid on the two of as I rested my head on Josh's chest. I feel asleep to the soft sound of his heart breathing and the movement if his chest as he breathed.
My heart was pleading to not be shattered once more. All I can do is hope for the best.