Drunken Confessions

Vic let out a sigh as he looked out the window of the tour bus, hearing the sounds of a party coming from the A Day to Remember tour bus. It was the last night of the House Party tour, and there was a huge party to celebrate, but Vic wasn’t in the usual party mood so he decided just to stay on the bus and tweet with the fans.

It had been about an hour and a half since the party started when Vic heard knocking on the bus door, and the handle sort of jiggling. Vic rolled his eyes, thinking that it was probably one of the guys who was drunk off their ass and forgot the bus code. He stood up and walked over to the steps of the bus, reaching down and popping open the door. The music got a bit louder, and from where he was standing he could hear laughter and shouting coming from the bus that was about 800 feet away.

“You gunna let me in?” a very drunk Alex slurred, as he staggered sideways slightly. His hair was messed up and his face and his eyes were red, and if Vic didn’t know any better, he would’ve sworn Alex had been crying. Vic nodded and stepped away from the stairs so Alex could come up them. After a couple minutes Alex was on the floor by the side couch on his knees. He had his hands on his face, and his shoulders were shaking.

“Alex?” Vic murmured, feeling a little confused. He took a step forward, and reached out to put a hand on Alex’s shoulder.

“I fucked up man. I fucked up so bad!” Alex all but sobbed, shrugging Vic’s hand off of his shoulder. Vic walked around Alex and knelt down in front of him.

“What happened Alex?” Vic asked softly and Alex took his head out of his hands to look at Vic. Tears were streaming down his face, and he looked so broken.

“J-Jack… I-I told him that I-I still loved him and he-he,” Alex hiccuped and shook his head and continued sobbing. Vic frowned and put his hands on Alex’s shoulders.

“What did Jack do Alex?” Vic whispered and Alex shook his head, biting his lip.

“He told- He told me that he didn’t-he didn’t love m-me, ever. And-and he s-s-said ‘h-how c-could I love someone who is such a mess?’ I don’t u-understand! He said he’d love me forever,” Alex said, his voice shaking as he quoted Jack. Vic let out a sigh and hugged the younger, and very drunk man.

“We all say things we don’t mean when we’re drunk Alex. It’ll be fine. Why don’t you just get some sleep okay?” Alex followed Vic to the bunks, and as he was about to show Alex which one he could sleep in, Alex pulled Vic close, and kissed him. It was sloppy and Alex tasted so much like alcohol that it almost burned Vic’s mouth. Vic tangled a hand in Alex’s hair and they kissed for a few seconds, before Vic realized what was going on. He took his hand out of Alex’s hair and gently pushed Alex away. Alex frowned and came closer, but Vic just pushed him away again.

“Alex stop,” Vic said, as Alex came forward once again. Alex grabbed Vic’s hands and put them at his sides, kissing him again. Vic broke the kiss, turning his head to the side and freed his wrists from Alex’s weak grip.

“Stop Alex,” Vic said again, but this time he was more firm. Alex frowned, and hung his head for a few moments, before looking up at Vic again.

“D-Don’t you l-like me?” Alex whimpered and Vic sighed, walking closer to Alex. He took Alex’s hands and kissed his forehead.

“I love you Alex. I really do, but you’re drunk and obviously not over Jack. It wouldn’t be fair to either of us Alex. I would be taking advantage of how drunk and heartbroken you are, and in the morning I would feel guilty, and you probably won’t remember a thing. So why don’t you just go to bed. Everything will be fine when you wake up,” Vic whispered to Alex and Alex nodded, climbing into the bunk. He was asleep the moment his head hit the pillow.

Vic let out another sigh and glanced towards the front of the bus, and shook his head looking back at the broken man. He’d heard about what happened with Alex and Jack in Winnipeg a couple nights ago when Alex had stumbled into the bus, drunk. Alex drank a lot more than he used to, and it worried everyone around him. Except for Jack, who seemed to give anything but a fuck for the man. Sure, maybe Alex had broken Jack’s heart, but there was no reason for Jack to act like he didn't care at all, or say such horrid things to him.

He thought about that night for a different reason as well. Alex had told him how much Jack had meant to him, but also how much he, himself meant to Alex. Vic disregarded it though, because Alex was drunk out of his mind, and couldn’t remember the conversation the next morning. Actually, he couldn’t remember they even talked at all that night now. Alex didn’t know how much he meant to Vic, and Vic was dying to tell him, but he knew that he couldn’t because it would destroy Alex. He wasn’t over Jack and Vic had a feeling that he would never actually be over Jack.