A Mighty Need

Audrey and Noel woke up together November 6th in his bed. They hadn’t gotten in until two in the morning, having gone to Stephen Fry’s Bonfire Night party, which had been more of a soiree, really. They enjoyed some drinks, interesting conversations and joined plenty of the guests to catch some fireworks displays in the distance. They stayed until about one in the morning and cabbed it back to his home in Highgate since most bars were closed by one on a weeknight. He grabbed a bottle of vodka from a cupboard in his kitchen along with a carton of orange juice and they went to his studio where he made them simple mixed drinks and turned on the radio so they had some music to listen to.

Sitting on the floor amongst his artwork, they drank and played 20 Questions to get to know each other better. Audrey wisecracked that they had gotten to know each other quite intimately already, to which Noel responded with a simple, “You know what I mean.”

When they made it to the bedroom, they made love again. It was less urgent than all the other times; more languid and gentle. It was as if they were trying to savor every moment of it. They never got to a second round; they were so tired from barely getting any sleep the day before and with the alcohol running its course through their systems, they fell right into a deep sleep.

It was around noon when they woke up. They took turns sauntering into his master bath to use the toilet before deciding to start the day by sharing a bubble bath together. Noel filled the tub and poured in some foaming bath powder that smelled of citrus. Audrey disrobed (literally — she was wearing only a robe) and climbed in first, resting with her back against the end of the tub opposite from the faucet, which brought a frown from Noel. Since he was still naked from the night before, he had nothing to take off before stepping into the warm, foamy water. Before he could sit down uncomfortably with the faucet at his back, Audrey shook her head and told him no. She had him sit down between her legs so that his back rested against her chest.

Noel slid down slightly so he could tilt his head back onto her left collarbone, while she ran her sudsy hands through his hair; wetting it down. She had leaned upward to grab his shampoo and conditioner and, of her own volition, proceeded in washing his hair; scrubbing his scalp in a way that made him so contented he could’ve easily fallen back to sleep. Using the shampoo and conditioner, however, conflicted with the bubble bath, causing the foam to dissipate. Noel offered to wash her hair as well, but she declined. She would grab a regular shower once their bath was over. And when it was, Noel hopped out and wrapped himself in a towel, telling her to meet him downstairs when she was done and also to help herself to any clothes in his closet she wanted to borrow until she got back to her hotel room later in the day.

Audrey drained the tub and ran the shower, letting the warm water beat down on her face while she let her mind wander to what would happen when she returned home to Philadelphia. The last week had pretty much been like a vacation from reality. When she went home, she’d see her family and friends again. She’d be sleeping in her own bed, taking showers in her own bathroom and taking care of her cat. She would return to writing in the peace and quiet of her condo, sitting at her dining room table that had a large window which looked out at the heart of Center City and the Delaware River beyond that.

As much as she loved traveling and seeing new places, it was always nice to go home where she had her usual comforts. If she traveled alone, she usually couldn’t wait to see her family and friends again. This was the first time, though, despite the few times she’d received text messages from those people, that she hadn’t really thought much about them. She hadn’t missed them as she normally would. She hadn’t thought about home. Actually, she was not ready to go home. Audrey had been enjoying herself so much in the last two weeks and London was starting to feel like home. She had gotten around in the city by herself without so much as a hitch, she’d driven around and come out on top, and she’d made friends so she didn’t feel alone.

And, of course, there was Noel.

She wasn’t sure where they stood with each other. Was this just a multi-night stand; something akin to “what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas”? Would they just remain friends once she returned but go their separate ways? Could a long-distance relationship work? Were they even in a relationship? What were they? If a long-distance relationship couldn’t survive between him and his ex-girlfriend, who lived in New York now, why would it work with her, who lived about two hours away by car in Philadelphia?

As soon as she was showered, Audrey dried off and threw a towel around her head before putting Noel’s robe back on. She walked back into his bedroom where she picked up her clothes from the night before and carried them downstairs with her. She would just use his washer/dryer combo in the kitchen to clean them so she could have at least clean underwear to put back on when she did get dressed, whether or not she put on her clothes or something of his.

When she stepped into the kitchen, she found Noel, still wearing only the towel around his waist, busy as a bee, making breakfast; never mind the fact that it was past one in the afternoon. She saw there was bacon also frying on the stove and toast already buttered and set on plates he had set out on the table. Audrey smiled and watched him before he noticed she was there. He smiled back and told her to take a seat, but first she needed to use his washer/dryer. She figured out how it worked and once her clothes were churning away, she sat down just as he plopped a few pancakes on her plate. He went to the fridge and asked if she wanted tea, coffee or orange juice and she just cringed at the idea of orange juice. After the night before, she’d had enough of that beverage for a while.

Audrey settled on a nice cup of tea, deciding to take advantage of one more very British thing before it was back to the harsh light of American life. Noel sat down across from her and they sat in relative silence, occasionally playing footsie under the table and smirking at each other. When the meal was quite finished, Audrey leaned forward on the table with her elbows while resting her chin in one of her hands.

“So, I have to check out of the Savoy by noon tomorrow, but my flight home isn’t until four-thirty,” she mentioned, taking a sip of her tea.

“What do you plan to do between then?”

“Well, I figured I would get to Heathrow no later than two-thirty, but that leaves two and a half hours to kill, which will be annoying since I will be lugging around my suitcases and carry-on.

“You know, you’re welcome to kill that time here.”

Audrey just smiled. “If I checked out earlier, I would have more time to spend here. I’ll have to make sure I’m packed and everything tonight so I have next to nothing to do tomorrow morning.”

“You also know that I’m gonna keep you to myself the rest of today though? That was part of my condition for going with you to Stephen’s fancy to-do last night.” He bit off a piece of his bacon and pointed the remainder at her as he chewed.

“Yeah, I know,” she smirked. She couldn’t pretend being with him was a chore. He was just so lovely to be around. “Do you wanna come back with me and help me pack?” she asked with a laugh.

“No,” he shook his head. “I mean, I’ll come back with you, but I’m not packing your shit. You wanna leave, you gotta pack.”

Audrey made a face of mock pain, placing a hand to her chest. “You make it sound like I’m abandoning you on purpose.”

“You kinda are.”

“My trip was booked as such before we even met, bucko.” She narrowed her eyes. “You were just a—”

“Just a what?” he interrupted.

She paused, and then smiled. “An added bonus.”



After breakfast, or lunch (whatever it was), they scraped what food remained on their plates into the waste bin and then Noel shoved the dishes into his dishwasher. They wandered back into the living room, with him still only in the towel and her only in his robe, and sat down on the couch to watch some television until her clothes finished washing and drying. They never got around to actually watching anything, though. As soon as he was seated, she climbed up on top of him, sinking into his lap after undoing his towel.

They made love right there on the couch and once more on the floor before they both got dressed for the day. Audrey had only wore stockings and that sweater dress the night before, so she borrowed a pair of Noel’s pajama pants again and a Rolling Stones T-shirt. She borrowed his brush and threw her hair up in haphazard bun which he bopped a few times. By four in the evening, Noel had taken care of his cats again; making sure they were fed and had clean litter boxes. They left his home and went back to the Savoy where she jumped on packing right away so she could have the rest of the night to relax.

Despite having said he wouldn’t, Noel wound up helping Audrey pack; tossing her items she needed or helping to shove items in that were being a bitch. By seven in the evening, they were eating dinner from room service in the sitting room, the curtains wide open so they could stare out the window at the view beyond. After eating, they disappeared into the bedroom and had sex yet again, this time getting a bit more adventurous with techniques and positions. There was plenty of headboard gripping and cries of euphoria going around as they went to town on each other.

By the end of the night, they tucked themselves away into bed and watched the movie Step Brothers that was airing on Channel 5. They talked themselves to sleep a little while after the movie was over, waking up briefly in the middle of the night to shift around; resulting in Noel spooning Audrey with his face buried in the back of her neck.

She received her wake-up call at eight in the morning, and both got up and grabbed a shower together. Noel just threw the same clothes back on that he had changed into the day before and when she went to hand him back his Rolling Stones shirt, pajama pants as well as that gruesome Mickey Mouse sweater she’d worn on Monday, he shook his head, telling her to keep them; they’d be a reason for her to come back. She opted to put on the Mickey Mouse sweater to wear on the plane, and then put on the same pair of leggings she had worn on Tuesday. She wanted to be as comfortable as possible on the plane later on that day.

Once she was sure she had everything packed and ready to go, she called for bell staff to come up and help with her bags. She went downstairs with Noel, carrying her laptop case over her shoulder, which would be her one carry-on, and her purse on the other shoulder which would be her one personal item. She had the two suitcases; the larger one contained mostly clothes, and the other smaller one had shoes, toiletries and some souvenirs she was bringing home.

“I hope I didn’t forget anything.”

“I’m sure you can let the front desk know that if anything is found when the cleaning staff goes through, that they can send it to you or something.”

“Yeah, I suppose.”

After she checked out, wincing at the bill, she thanked her lucky stars she could afford to pay it. It would be the last time in a while she would treat herself so extravagantly. The first class round trip flights alone had set her back $17,000. The hotel stay was about £40,000; converted to US funds it was nearly $65,000. In total, flight and hotel alone was costing her just over $80,000. That didn’t even include all the travel fare and food and shopping.

Even Noel grimaced at the damage. “Next time you come to London, fly economy and you can stay with me.”

Audrey just shrugged it off as best she could. Sometimes she let big purchases get to her before realizing she could afford it. Granted, she knew her accountant might have something to say and she knew she would never tell her parents how much she spent, whether or not she was a thirty-two year old grown woman who lived on her own and didn’t have to answer to anyone.

“It was worth it,” she insisted on the cab right back to Noel’s house, which he insisted on paying for. “This has been my favorite work vacation to date.”

Noel responded by putting his arms around her shoulder and giving her a side hug.

They got to his home by ten-thirty and had a bowl of cereal for breakfast. She left her suitcases and everything so that it was easier to take everything back outside to the cab that would drive her to Heathrow. They went up to his studio once more and she watched him paint for a short while; it was his typical abstract work and it looked to be some sort of mouse being held by a rabbit.

Audrey furrowed her brow. “What is it supposed to be?”

“Little Bunny Foo Foo,” he replied. “Didn’t you ever hear that song as a kid?”

Audrey smiled. She had.

“Little Bunny Foo Foo, hopping through the forest, scooping up the field mice,” he sang, gesturing to himself, “and bashing them on the head.”

“Down came the fairy and she said,” Audrey sang back at him. “Little Bunny Foo Foo, I don’t wanna see you, scooping up the field mice and bashing them on the head.” Then she spoke the rest of the fairy’s part. “I'll give you three chances, and if you don't behave, I will turn you into a goon!”

The two of them laughed and Noel just gestured back to the painting with his paintbrush in one hand a cup of coffee in the other. “I’m the field mouse, obviously, and you’re Bunny Foo Foo.”

“Because I bash you on the head?” Audrey was confused.

“No, because you fuck like a rabbit,” he teased, “and you got a cute tail.” Noel hip-checked her and planted a kiss on her cheek before finishing the painting.

Once he was done, he hung it up away from the floor to dry and so that if his cats wandered up they wouldn’t mess with it. By one o’clock, they were naked in his bed again, staring up at the ceiling and not saying anything. They were a tangle of limbs and bed sheets and bathed in an afterglow. But something was weighing down on them like a heavy weight on their chests; a feeling of dread.

“I’m gonna have to figure out how to Skype so I can see you once you’re back stateside,” he said quietly. “But the sooner you can come back to visit, the better.”

“You can come visit me, too, you know?” Audrey turned her head and looked at him.

“Yeah, I suppose,” he flashed a cheeky smile at her.

A half hour later, they were dressed again and Noel had called for a black cab to be at his house by two to take her to Heathrow. The last thirty minutes they had together felt like watching what it had to be like in centuries past when people ascended a scaffold to be executed. There was a bundle of anxiety and nerves deep in their chests as time ticked away and they tried to play it off and joke around. For Audrey, it had felt like the two weeks she was in London would’ve dragged on forever, and now that it was over, she realized how quickly it had went by, especially the last week with Noel. If anything, she had wished it would’ve been the week to go the slowest.

Eventually, the cab had arrived and Noel helped her carry her suitcases outside. The driver opened the trunk and placed them inside before opening the back passenger door for her. Audrey didn’t hop in right away. She stood at the stoop to Noel’s home and looked up at him, and he at her.

Leaning forward, not caring about who saw him outside with her, he kissed her full on the lips and pulled her in for a tight hug.

“Call before you board and when you get in. I don’t care if you wake me up.”

Audrey nodded. “Okay.” She felt like tears were about to sting her eyes, but she blinked them away and just smiled. “I didn’t see your cats, but tell them I said goodbye.”

Noel chuckled. “Yeah, I will. Though I don’t think they’ll notice you’ve gone. Sometimes I don’t think they notice when I go anywhere.” Then, as an afterthought, he added, “Don’t say bye. Just…take care.”

“Okay. Take care.” Audrey reached up and kissed him on the tip of his nose before walking away to slide into the cab.

The driver shut the door and tipped his head to Noel before, moments later, driving away with Audrey. She had turned around to wave at Noel as the cab went up his street and he waved back, standing there in the gradually waning daylight and barefoot. As soon as the cab disappeared from view, Noel turned and walked back into his house. He looked around at the interior and scratched his head.

Suddenly, everything felt quiet and empty. Or maybe it was just him.