A Mighty Need

The saying that time flies when you’re having fun had never been truer. In the last six days since Christmas there was always something going on, even if it meant staying in and playing board games until three in the morning. The day after Christmas, Noel took Audrey and Austin out for dinner and drinks, the day after that they went to the Tate Modern, then on a chilly boat ride on the Thames before dinner at Claridge’s. Over the weekend that followed, Austin was snatched up, so to speak, by Mike; the younger Fielding taking the younger Woods along to a club he had a DJ gig at. Part of Mike’s reasoning was simply because he was interested in hanging out with the Austin, but the other reason was to give Austin something to do so Noel and Audrey could be alone in the house for a while. Austin never returned back to Noel’s house on Saturday night; instead crashing at Mike’s flat whenever they got done partying. That was just fine for the couple because they had decided to make good use of most of the surfaces in the living room and front hall after a cheeky game of Truth or Dare, the X-rated version.

Sunday night, Noel ordered Chinese takeaway for himself and Audrey, just as their respective brothers showed up with dark circles under their eyes, making mention to the fact that they hadn’t gotten to sleep until seven that morning and quite literally just woke up. Not knowing when Austin would be back, they hadn’t ordered extra food, so they had their brothers fend for themselves. All four of them wound up sitting around the living room, eating and eventually moving on to play a few rounds of Cards Against Humanity which took them until just after ten at night. Austin, nowhere near exhausted, remained downstairs to watch television while Audrey and Noel decided to end their Sunday night by sharing a warm bubble bath together.

Early on Monday, the day before New Year’s Eve, Noel went off by himself to do some shopping. Audrey offered to go with him but he insisted she didn’t have to and to just relax. She felt a little put off by it, but refused to let it get to her. She didn’t want to read into it, but part of her did anyway; making her wonder if she was annoying him or being clingy. Maybe he wanted some alone time without her. Was she overstaying her welcome? What exactly was he going shopping for anyway? There seemed to be enough food in the house for the three of them.

By the time Noel had returned, Austin and Audrey were watching a movie on Austin's laptop. The Brit was carrying three heavy-looking bags up the stairs while he took to the steps two at a time; managing to do so in his dark red-colored Chelsea boots without falling backward and killing himself.

Audrey stood up, telling her brother not to bother pausing the movie, and followed after Noel. He was already in his room by the time she reached the doorway and was shoving the bags into his closet. He turned around, shaking off his jacket, in time to see Audrey standing there with her hands on the door frame and knitting her brow at him.

“So, where did you go shopping?”

“Oh, here and there,” he replied.

His failure to give a straight answer was disconcerting. “What did you buy?”

“A little of this, a little of that.” He tried to flash a smile at her but it fell flat when he saw the blank look on her face. “What?”

“Why are you being evasive? Is there some big secret I’m not supposed to know?” She walked over to the bed and sat down on the edge, staring up at him with her hands between her knees. “I’m not being clingy or anything; am I? Do you want me to take Austin and go out sightseeing or something; give you some time alone to do whatever? Do you just need a break from your guests?”

Noel began to shake his head at her. “Now why in the hell would you think that?” he seemed a bit amused at her line of questions.

“Because you’re,” she gestured to his closet, “clearly hiding something. I mean, you won’t even tell me what you bought plus, with you wanting to go shopping alone, I just figured I’m starting to cramp your style. Seriously, I can take Austin with me and go somewhere for a few hours if you need some peace and quiet in your own home.”

Scratching at his head, Noel looked perplexed. He paced a few steps in front of her before coming to a stop and sitting down on the chair across from the end of his bed. “I invited you to come stay here with me. It’s the holidays. I want you to be here, with me, not anywhere else. If anyone would’ve been cramping anyone’s style it would’ve been me when I dropped in on you, unannounced, on Thanksgiving and stayed for a week. That was unplanned and kinda rude of me. I really should’ve called and given you a heads up.”

“But you did.”

“Yeah,” Noel replied with a snort. “Less than an hour before I arrived on your doorstep like some orphan lookin’ for handouts.” He leaned forward, resting his forearms on his lap and clasping his hands together. “I didn’t want you to come shopping with me this morning, because what I was buying is a surprise and if you were with me, the surprise would be ruined. I put the shit in my closet so you wouldn’t see it and I won’t tell you what it is because, again, the surprise would be ruined. Alright?” Noel grinned hopefully at her. “Can you live with a surprise lurking ‘round the corner like a pedophile waiting in the wings of a school play?”

Audrey rolled her eyes and made a face at the imagery. She looked down at her hands and then across at his before glancing up at him; his blue eyes taking her breath away every damn time. “You’ll let me know if I ever get annoying or clingy, though; right? I don’t wanna be that girl.”

“I like clingy.” He bit his lip and gave her a mischievous glare.

“That’s not the clingy I meant.”

“The fact that you know exactly which clingy I meant, though, says something about you.”

“Yeah, it says that my mind is forever stuck in the gutter.”

Noel smiled and got up off the chair, only to take a few steps and kneel down on the floor at her feet. They were eye level so neither had to look up or down. He cupped the sides of her faces and pulled her in for a kiss. “I love your mind in the gutter,” he murmured against her lips. “Don’t take it out.”

“Never, ever?”

“Never, ever,” he repeated. After a few more quick pecks on the lips, he sank down to sit on the heels of his feet, this time having to look up at her as he placed his hands on his legs. “What do you wanna do today?”

“Aside from you at some point?” Off his chuckle, she continued with a shrug. “I dunno. I feel bad having Austin stuck inside. Maybe we can all go somewhere and do something.”

“That was so incredibly specific,” he teased.

“Just taking a page from your book; Being Evasive 101.”

Noel tutted at her and grabbed at her calves to give a slight tickle; all the while biting down on his bottom lip. “Maybe we should ask your brother what he’d want to do because what I want to do is not leave this room, and you haven’t the slightest idea anyway,” he snickered.

“Sounds like a plan.”

Getting to his feet, Noel took Audrey’s hand and had her stand up with him. “Let’s go ask him then.”

As they left his room and made it to the first step at the top of the stairs, they found Austin happened to be walking up at the same moment. All three stopped and looked at each other.

“I was just coming to talk to you,” Austin said to his sister and Noel.

“Same here,” Audrey replied; her hand gripping the banister.

“Mike texted me; he said there’s a pre-New Year’s party he’s going to tonight and he invited me along. If you don’t mind me jumping ship, I’m gonna take him up on the offer. It sounds like fun.” He looked at Audrey, then to Noel.

Noel shrugged. “Yeah, by all means, go have fun.”

“You’re my twenty-four year old brother, not my fourteen year old son. You don’t need my permission to leave and go somewhere without me,” Audrey added with a smirk. “We were actually just about to ask if there was anything you wanted to do today since we don’t have plans either. Now you have something so all the power to you.”

Austin gave a nod of his head. “Cool. I’m gonna grab a shower and change. I’m gonna brave it on my own and take the subway into Camden and meet Mike at some pub called The Elephant’s Head. He and some of his friends that I met on Saturday are grabbing dinner there first.”

“Alright,” Audrey said. “But it’s called the tube on this side of the pond, bro. Not subway. You don’t wanna stand out like a sore thumb too much.”

Austin simply rolled his eyes and smacked his lips as he began to continue his way back up the stairs. “Yeah, whatever,” he smirked. Once he passed the couple on the stairs and neared his room, he turned back around to look at them. “This frees the two of you up to moan and groan all you want again without me having to accidentally overhear.”

“Well, that was on the itinerary, anyway.” Audrey looked at her brother, and then took Noel’s hand. “Well, now what do we do?” she asked him once Austin disappeared into his room.

“Why don’t head into the city and wing it,” the blue eyed comedian suggested as they made their way down the rest of the stairs.

“We could call for a cab and tell the driver to just let us off anywhere,” Audrey added.

“Yeah, exactly.” Noel gripped the bottom of her shirt and, as soon as they were at the bottom of the stairs, he pulled her over to him and kissed her behind her ear which made her giggle. The feeling of his lips against her skin tickled quite a bit.

She turned around and faced him, poking a finger into his stomach as if he was the Pillsbury dough boy. “Don’t start that shit,” she remarked.

“Don’t start what?” He was playing innocent, narrowing his gaze as if he was trying to subtly undress her with his eyes or knew a very raunchy secret he wasn’t about to tell her about.

“Oh, you very well know.” Audrey swatted his hand away, which was starting to creep underneath her shirt. “You keep that up and one thing will lead to another and we’ll never get around to setting foot outside this house at any point today.”

Noel shrugged, as if weighing his options. “Well, it’s not like that’s a bad idea.”

“But the plan was to actually leave.”

“We still can. Later.”

“Or, we can get going now and put off coitus for later; the anticipation will help fuel the fire.”

“You said coitus.” Noel snickered. “What is this; sex education class?” Biting his bottom lip he tried sauntering up to her and nuzzling his nose against her cheek, but she kept backing away from him with a smile on her face. “Oh, come on. Not even a quickie?”

Audrey just casually shook her head, grinning up at him and trying not to laugh. Eventually he gave up like a boy being told he had to wait to eat his dessert until after dinner; no pun intended. He called for a cab shortly thereafter and then went up to tell Austin they would be leaving soon and to just lock the door behind him when he left. Noel also suggested that Austin borrow Mike’s key to Noel’s house just in case Austin got home before the lovebirds.

It was three when the black cab arrived, and they told the driver to drop them off anywhere in the heart of London. While they sat in the backseat together, they held hands and stared out the same window at the scenery going by. Around twenty minutes later, the black cab came to a stop in front of St. Paul’s Cathedral. The cabbie looked over his shoulder at them and, in the thickest Cockney accent ever, asked if the location was okay or if they wanted to continue on elsewhere.

They were okay with where they were, Noel paid the fare and then they got out of the cab. There was a white, Rolls Royce parked not far away and a bride was stepping out of it with a woman, who appeared to be her maid of honor, helping with the train of the dress. Apparently a wedding was about to take place, on a Monday and day before New Year’s Eve. The bride was holding her bouquet and wore a thick shawl around her shoulders to keep the cold at bay. She looked beautiful and Audrey said as much to Noel, and that she was tempted to sneak into the church to watch the nuptials.

Audrey (and Noel) didn’t, however. They walked away from the church and headed west on Ludgate Hill until it turned into Fleet Street and until it became The Strand. By that point, their feet were starting to ache and their stomachs were growling. They had spent the entire time they walked hand in hand and talking about minor things or window shopping. They stopped at the first ideal restaurant they came upon which was a Pizza Express. Since it was “Meatless Monday” they both decided to try two slices of Giardiniera pizza each. To drink, Audrey had a glass of Billi Billi Shiraz and Noel chose to try a bottle of Aspall Cider. After their stomachs were sated, they left and continued further down on The Strand, soon coming upon the Savoy, where she had been staying two months prior. They stopped and looked up at the main entrance, both possibly thinking about their first time together, which took place in the Claude Monet suite.

Noel flashed a knowing look at her, pressed his lips to her temple and gave her hand a squeeze as they continued on. It was starting to get dark and the lights were coming on around them, glittering like stars in the sky that was city life. As their feet began to ache again, they found themselves reaching Trafalgar Square. They went to find a place to sit by the fountains in front of the National Gallery for a few minutes while the cold air attacked them without much warning. Out in the open as they were, not as blocked by buildings as they had been before, they were more prone to the elements. Noel wrapped an arm around Audrey’s waist as she shivered and he suggested they catch a cab so neither caught their deaths from frostbite.

They headed close to the street and walked along toward Northumberland Street where, after a few minutes, they flagged down a hackney carriage. Sliding in as quickly as possible, Noel leaned forward, asking the driver to take them to The Groucho Club on Dean Street.

As soon as they arrived, and got inside, it seemed like a veritable Who’s Who of London’s Arts, Publishing, Film, Music and Advertising crowd. That is, mostly to Noel. For Audrey, there were only two faces she recognized even if it belonged to people she’d never met before. Actor Damian Lewis was seated near one of the member’s only club’s three bars and beside him was the actress Audrey was positive portrayed Draco Malfoy’s mother in the Harry Potter films. She was at a loss for a name, though. Audrey did, however, know Damian’s. She’d never watched the Showtime series Homeland before but Audrey recognized him from being its male star and had seen his name plastered over magazines in the States before. Noel would later tell her that the actress was Helen McCrory and was Damian’s wife.

With his hand on her back, Noel led Audrey straight toward one of the lounge-y areas that had blue sofas and red sofas paired with small tables and red chairs or blue ottomans. On the sofas were green, blue or yellow throw pillows; depending on the sofa. The walls were white, the floors were a light wood (possibly white oak), and on the walls were pieces of artwork by celebrated artists. There was an empty seat on the red sofa underneath a Damien Hirst spot painting. They had checked their coats as soon as they came in and Noel was able to get her in as one of his guests since she, herself, had not a membership. She considered that maybe it might be something she would consider trying to get at some point if she liked the place enough. She also knew not just anyone was given a membership, so who really knew if they’d give her one even if she applied, no matter how successful or American she was. Maybe it was just for UK patrons. She had no clue.

Noel left her for a moment to get them some drinks from one of the bars while she sat alone, taking in the other members deep in conversation with each other. While seated and lost in daydream, she heard an unfamiliar voice trying to get her attention. She looked up and found herself staring into the face of a rather skinny man with black hair styled similarly to Noel’s and plenty of tattoos visible on his exposed forearms and hands. Suddenly she remembered his face, but not his name.

“Oh, sorry; I was daydreaming,” she apologized. She smiled up at him and then made a lame hand gesture. “I know you from somewhere, don’t I? Halloween? Were you the other one present at the Camden Head? I know there was another guy whose name I couldn’t remember.”

The guy smiled and nodded, offering his hand to reintroduce himself to her. “Yeah, I’m the Rev. I was the other one dressed like a vampire.” After Audrey shook his hand, he added, “And you can just call me Paul, it’s probably less pretentious than having to call me the Rev.”

Audrey shrugged. “Well, you could be like the Doctor. That doesn’t sound pretentious.”

“Point taken.” He gestured to one of the ottomans. “Mind if I sit?”

“Be my guest. Well, technically, I’m Noel’s guest, so be his guest.”

“Yeah, I thought I saw him.” Paul looked over toward the room’s entrance. “You’re here with him, right? We’ve hung out a few times in the last couple weeks since two of you went official on Twitter.” He winked at her. “That was pretty funny stuff.”

“The kiss photo, you mean?” Audrey blushed, running her fingers through her windblown hair.

“That and the subsequent photos that followed both online and in person.”

“Photos in person?”

“Yeah, photos that Noel showed me on his phone; ones he took in Philadelphia that he didn’t tweet.” Paul then gave her a devilish look. “He showed me a pretty candid one of you asleep.”

Audrey stared agape at him. “He has a picture of me asleep?”

Paul nodded and took a swig of the beer in his hands. “Yep.”

As she rolled her eyes with a smile, she spotted Noel returning out the corner of her right eye. He had a Heineken bottle in one hand and a glass filled with some mixed drink in the other. When he noticed Paul, he threw a nod in the direction of his friend and a smile.

“Hey, I thought I saw you,” Noel greeted as Paul stood up. The two embraced in a friendly side hug before Noel moved around to sit down beside Audrey on the red sofa and hand her drink over. “It’s a sex on the beach,” he said to her. “Let me know if you want something different.”

“No, this is fine,” she assured. “Paul, here, was just telling me how you took a photo of me while I was sleeping and showed him.”

Noel winced with a sheepish grin, trying not to chuckle as he looked from his girlfriend to his rocker buddy. “Oy, that’s bro code or summat you broke, mate.”

“I thought she knew,” Paul laughed.

“Clearly she didn’t.” Noel shrugged and leaned in to kiss Audrey on the cheek before saying, “Yeah, I took a picture. It was night before I flew back here.”

“Aww,” she muttered, teasingly.

After winking at her, Noel turned his attention to Paul. “So, who’re you the guest of tonight or did the club finally give you a membership?”

“Nah, I’m still just a guest; here with Alex James. We met recently and we were talking lately; said he was hitting this place up tonight and invited me along. So, yeah, here I am.”

“Who’s Alex James?”

“He the bassist for Blur,” Paul replied.

“Oh, the ‘woo hoo’ song,” Audrey nodded. “That was one of my jams during my last year of high school.”

Paul began to laugh heartily at that. “The ‘woo hoo’ song; oh, that’s great. Here I thought I was the only one who called it that.”

“What’s it really called, anyway?” Noel piped up. “I can’t remember.”

“Song 2, I think. Don’t tell him I said it with uncertainty. He might have me kicked out of here.” Paul took another swig of beer and glanced in the direction of the room’s entrance again as if Alex James were about to walk in and do as he just mentioned.

“If he tries, I’ll claim you as another of my guests. Members get up to four at a time,” Noel assured.

The trio carried on talking and drinking a while more, eventually moving toward the nearest bar to get more drinks and socialize with other members and their guests. Audrey got introduced to Damian Lewis and his wife Helen McCrory finally, and a while later Matt Bellamy from Muse walked in with his fiancé, actress Kate Hudson, who Audrey had actually met once, but very briefly, last year at a charity dinner in Los Angeles she’d been invited to. Kate didn’t seem to remember but was pleasant and very cheery when they were reintroduced with each other, and then Audrey’s named dawned on the actress, mentioning how she had seen her books and heard her name being passed around recently; something to do with Audrey’s first book being adapted into a TV series.

“Yeah, that’s something that’s been in the works for almost a year, now,” Audrey had mentioned to the Hollywood actress. “Whether or not if finally happens is beyond me. Paramount bought the rights to option it either as a film or television series. It was a lovely paycheck, indeed.”

Eventually Matt and Kate moved on, as did Damian and Helen, leaving the initial trio at the bar once again to revel in pre-New Year’s cheer. As Audrey felt the alcohol slowly shoving her inhibitions away, she noticed Noel as he tensed up and did his best at acting nonchalant about something. Whatever it was, Paul seemed to catch on. It was something going on behind Audrey so she turned around with her current drink in hand to steal a look.

Walking toward the bar room was a man and a woman; the woman Audrey quickly recognized from having Googled her. Her hair was dyed blonde but she had dark roots coming in. She was rather pretty, dark-eyed and tanned, and she spotted Noel almost immediately. Awkward tension began to hang in the air above all their heads as the woman approached Noel with a polite smile.

“Hey,” she greeted weakly.

Noel turned more fully to her and gave a nod. “Hey, Lliana. Home for the holidays?”

She nodded as well. “Yeah, but I just got in,” she replied. “I was home for Hanukkah last month, but couldn’t afford the time off from work to be gone as long this time for Christmas and New Year’s. I had to fill in for another DJ who went on holiday over Christmas, but was able to grab the next few days to come back now.” She cast a glance at Audrey who was now feeling just as awkward. “Hi, I’m Lliana.” She offered her hand.

“Audrey,” the current girlfriend said to the former, shaking the hand that was extended.

“Yes, the writer from America. I’ve heard all about you.” Then she braved, “My successor,” with a guarded laugh.

Before Audrey could respond, Noel cut in. “How’s your new boyfriend?”

“How’d you know I was seeing someone new?” Lliana questioned with a smirk.

“I didn’t unfollow you from Twitter when we broke up.”

“Oh, well, that was a short-lived romance, if you could call it that. A rebound after you, I guess.” Lliana shrugged, glanced briefly at Audrey and then down at her feet. She then brought her eyes back up to glance at the guy she had come to The Groucho Club with, club member David Wallace, who (Audrey would later learn) knew Lliana from XFM London. “Nice to see you’ve been able to move on, and with a long-distance relationship, no less.”

“Yeah, it’s been work, but it’s been worth it.” Noel bit his bottom lip. Without saying anything further to Lliana, he just offered a polite smile and placed a hand on the small of Audrey’s back. “I think it’s getting late. We need to get back in case my brother didn’t give your brother the key to get back into my house. Don’t want Austin standing out in the cold.”

Audrey didn’t bother to say anything further. Noel bid adieu to Paul, promising they would talk soon, then nodded goodbye to Lliana and David. They walked together to get their coats and, while standing outside in the cold, ignoring the two paparazzi lurking nearby, Noel began digging feverishly through his pockets for something only to curse when nothing was retrieved.

“Fuck,” he grumbled. He then looked around up the street, possibly for a black cab, then placed a hand on Audrey’s arm and told her to wait there. She was only standing by herself for a moment when he popped back outside to join her. “I asked a club worker to call for a cab.”

“I could’ve called.”

“No, I had to go back inside anyway.”

“For what?” she asked apprehensively.

What he had been looking for, exactly, happened to be a cigarette, which he now held between his thumb and index finger. He tapped a fellow smoker, who was also standing outside, on the shoulder and asked for a light and all but cooed after his initial drag, bringing the nicotine into his lungs and expelling it in an opaque cloud of smoke and breath. He caught Audrey’s eye and frowned.

“I’m sorry for this.”

She was a bit confused. “About what? About running into your ex? I thought you handled it pretty well.”

“What? No, well, yeah, but…no, I meant smoking.”

“Yeah?” She still seemed a bit confused. A camera flash distracted her momentarily, but her focus was on Noel, not on the photographers trying to get the best shots of the pair deep in conversation on the sidewalk.

“I hadn’t had a cigarette since before I went to Philadelphia. I was trying to quit,” he commented, sheepishly, tapping the burning cigarette’s ashes onto the ground but not bringing it back to his lips. “I just…my nerves got the best of me in there, I think. I needed this, but I had given it up; for you.”

“I don’t want you to give it up for me, Noel.” She shivered and walked up to him, grabbing the collar of his jacket and forcing him to lean down so she could give him a kiss. Audrey could instantly taste the cigarette on his lips but it didn’t bother her. Her father had been a smoker all his life until a few years ago when he decided to quit cold turkey after a health scare. Kissing a smoker wasn’t a big deal; having to breathe and smell the smoke was. “If you’re gonna quit, do it for you. That’s the only way you’ll stick to it.”

“I feel guilty.”

“Don’t be. It’s one cigarette and so far you’ve only taken one drag.”

“Oh, no,” he shook his head. “Sorry, I’m jumping from one subject to the other. This time I meant about back inside, with Lliana. What she said; it made me feel guilty.”

“What she said about what?” Audrey wondered. Her hands were freezing so she shoved them into his coat pockets as he took another drag from his cigarette and blew the smoke away from her.

“Basically how I’m making a long distance relationship work with you but couldn’t with her.” He cast his blue eyes over Audrey’s shoulder and down the road somewhat to keep an eye out for their cab. He caught the eye of one of the paparazzi but failed to give the guy a smile at all. “I think she might resent me.”

“But you said you and her were drifting apart before her job offer was even on the table,” Audrey commented, looking up at him. “She was the one worried about a long-distance relationship, right?”

Noel nodded. “Yeah, she wasn’t sure how we’d manage to stay together while being so far apart. She wouldn’t be able to travel back and forth to see me both because of her work and money being issues. There were so many factors going into us splitting up, but I thought we’d parted as friends. Back there it just seemed like she hated me a bit.”

“I didn’t get that vibe.”

Noel peered down at Audrey. “What vibe did you get, then?”

“Aside from awkward?” she smirked. “Regret, on her side, and not to sound smug or anything but maybe a little envy. From the short amount of interaction I just had with her, I think she still loves you and regrets letting you go or letting you let her go.” Audrey looked down at his chest and moved closer to him. He was blocking the cold wind from her which was very welcomed. “Worst case scenario for me, is Lliana moves back to London by next summer, since you mentioned she was considering working that job in New York for only a year, and then tries to reinsert herself back into her life while I’m not here and back in Philly instead.”

Seeming to sense her fear over something quite unrealistic to him, Noel tossed his cigarette to the ground and stepped on it before wrapping both his arms around Audrey’s back and resting his chin on top of her head. “That won’t happen. I made my peace with Lliana being out of my life just before we met, and I’ve moved on,” he assured, “with you.”

In less than a minute later, a black cab pulled up and the driver rolled the window down. “Cab for Noel?”

Noel nodded. “Yeah, that’s me.” He opened the door for Audrey to slide in first into the backseat and then slid in after her. After giving the cabbie his address, he leaned back and pulled Audrey against him so that she ended up resting her head on his shoulder. “Take the longest way you can think of,” he said to the cabbie, and then leaned his own head against Audrey’s.