Status: Rated PG-13 because of language used in later chapters and Abre (main character) isn't just a character to me, as she has helped me see my own light, which seems ridiculous I know. But it's true.

Imprinted Years


There were no tests to evaluate my skills today though, not like how Jessica had tested me with my detecting humans, or how Molly unknowingly tested me with my sudden skills of bravery, as I didn’t wish to stay so long with Eric, yet I did. Silica was different and I didn’t know at the time whether that was a good thing or not, as in a way I liked being tested, because it made me grow in a sense.
Now, walking through empty, lifeless and almost depressing streets alongside her, I didn’t feel like I was learning anything. Well, apart from learning how to follow a leader. I was instead becoming blind, needing someone, rather something else to think, act and speak for me in a sense. I of course could actually physically do those things, but mentally I was now lacking those skills.

We now neared Edinburgh City Prison, where we’d travelled over 5 miles to get to and I now looked over to Silica, there was no fear, suspicion or shame in her eyes. Her face brimmed with confidence and eagerness. Was this the truth of what would be revealed within the next mile or so? Or was she simply stronger than average whereas fear and shame is concerned? I hoped for it to be the first, but I knew it must’ve been the latter.

“S-so, what are we going to do, say, act?”

I was nervous, therefore I stuttered, which only made matters worse, as now she knew I was even weaker and more pathetic than she’d anticipated. This would be delicious for her, something she’d wish to savour. Remember. She’d now on see me as this broken, small child, even though I was taller than her. It wasn’t my physique or build that gave her this opinion to use against me; it was simply my word, my shivers and my cold, shamed glances I darted to and from her eyes and face.

“Hmm,” was all she said to break the ice surrounding us and she then forced my now paranoid eyes to fixate on hers, which took some force on my own part. I was afraid, as I knew I couldn’t fear whatever would follow this, but I couldn’t discard it as well. I couldn’t hide it away, or else it’d be a lie, as I’d have no joy whereas this life is concerned. I knew and I still know now, I couldn’t give up so easy. “You do, say and act however you like. I will do all three how I usually do, as I’m no actress where life is concerned.” I laughed at the last part.

“No actress” were the exact two words she’d spoken, which was ironic, as she must have acted even slightly to become what she was. She would’ve had to act to herself for a short while, pretending what she was doing and who she was becoming was correct. But then again, was I right to accuse her of “acting”? Because for all I knew, she could’ve genuinely thought it right to become what she had, as she seemed to hide no shame when I looked over to her.

“What amuses you so?” she demanded in a harsh, yet distant tone, as if she wasn’t bothered by my sudden laughter, which I’m guessing she knew was mockery. I knew that it did bother her, even though she didn’t admit it, which is why I continued laughing, but came to a halt when her deep blue eyes turned to coal black again. I then remembered what this serpent represented and how, even when I believed her to be relatively relaxed, I should be wary of my words and actions.

“Nothing, just a though I conjured up. Not important.” I was being extremely vague, but I preferred it that way. Too much detailing in my white lie would make my dishonesty seem nearly as obvious as branding it on my forehead.


This would be my marking, my entity, myself in what some humans call a “nutshell.” I was a liar, but I believed I was that way for the right reasons.

“Oh,” her smile drifted, as she obviously didn’t get the answer she wanted. That I did actually mock her that I did laugh at her, in both physical and psychological ways.
She wanted my honesty, which would’ve fulfilled her, as she’d see me more clearly than I currently let her see.

She wanted to know me, but why I didn’t know. She wanted to have me tell her the truth, instead of me hiding behind my pathetic, foreseeable lies.

She wanted me bare, so then she could evaluate my character as a whole. I was an experiment to her and nothing more. Without me bare, I was nothing to her.

“We’re close, only a few more minutes,” her voice had rose in depth, giving her an edgier feel, “right around this corner, Abre. On the left.” I smiled half-heartedly at her and continued on, I wanted to see this criminal, as I wanted to hurt him now. I wanted to be ruthless, cruel, hurtful, towards those who deserved it, or whom I believed deserved it, anyway.

I wasn’t going against all of my morals, as my current morals were to inflict karma on humans, whether it be bad or good. I wanted to watch him suffer, squirm, scream and I wanted to laugh, snigger and glare condescendingly at him.

I wanted to overpower such a demon, such a disease, such a monster, but I never saw through the monster I should’ve been concentrating on all along.

The monster that was…


Without thinking about Silica or her actions or words, I ran towards the corner of the street we now walked on. It was only a few hundred metres away, so I kept running and didn’t once even consider turning or even looking back at where I’d come from. I closed my eyes for a moment, embracing nature, which I still believe to be assuring, whereas truth is concerned. Nature never lies; instead nature can be a comforter in many different forms and senses. Mine right now was air.

Air that brushed against my skin and cooled my racing heart. My feet hurt, as they were strained from walking, but I no longer cared for their comfort or discomfort, as the wind, oxygen and particles of air were enough to keep my breathing even and steady. I’d run until I got there, which I knew was only a minute or so away from me now, so I looked up from where my head faced the grey, quickly moving ground and spotted the prison. I let my pace quicken as I felt myself near the gates and smiles with eagerness, as I received the mental image of the criminal I needed. His face pale and empty, his eyes dark and hollow, his hair dirty and mud coloured and his senses shameful and distrust.

He deserved to feel shame, he deserved to feel pain, which were two aspects I’d gladly let him take in.

I reached the door of where the demons and monsters lay locked up within, taking a deep breath of a quick, yet powerful adrenaline rush and went to twist the doorknob, when a hand on my left shoulder stopped me. I guessed it was Silica, wondering why I’d ran off ahead, but I only knew for sure whether it was or not when I turned to see the pale face and empty dark eyes that greeted me. At first, with the almost identical crease in this man’s hairline and deep, saddened look, I believed this being, this human being to be the man I searched for so desperately.

Whom I so desperately wanted to hurt, kill if that was necessary and torture. I laugh to myself inside at the though of him perishing at my wrath, but then focus on the man ahead of me.
This isn’t Kaeo, the criminal.

This was Berao, the criminals, or much better nicknamed, the hollow’s brother.

How did I know this? I knew it the same way I knew everything else that I did at the time and still know now. My skills that Jessica, my one true guardian, had brought to life were the reason for my success in life. Whether others notice them or not; I’ve succeeded. But I’ve also failed.

“Where do you think you’re going, little princess?” he asked in a penetratingly teasing tone, which made me just wish he saw the entire so-called little princess I was. I snorted a nervous, yet supposedly confidence laugh and met my gaze with his own, almost depressing one. I thought to hit him, beat him, or try, at least, but my urges were controlled by my senses.


Was all she needed to say when we were with Becky Harrow and it was all I needed to remember now to keep hold of my cool. I instead smiled maliciously at this Berao, but then tried to make it slightly casual, as I didn’t yet have any evidence or reason to see him as a threat. With the exception that he was a child murderer’s brother, but that was only his relative, not him exactly.

Therefore I couldn’t judge him on that.

“I’m going to see… someone.” Not suspicious at all! But I couldn’t enlighten my lies, well, dishonesty even more than I’d already done so. I laughed it off and turned for the door behind me again, but this time he shoved me into it with full on force, smiling a sick, almost sadistic smile after doing so. Which was something I would do. Maybe he wasn’t like his brother like
I’d guessed; maybe he was more like me.

I didn’t find this attractive, or even remotely inspiring or anything like that, but I did find it strange how I found a being, not of my own species, but who seemed to be of my own species. Maybe their species and ours are more alike than I believed back then. I still didn’t know whether to see this realisation as an extremely terrific thing, or a compulsively disastrous one. So, instead I tried not to let this tiny seed grow into the largest tree in my mind of distrust and unevenness.

Which was harder than it seems.

He grasped my hair with his left hand and pinned me to the door now behind me with the other hand, making me gasp a little, which I tried to contain but I couldn’t in time. I smiled at him, as if this didn’t matter to me, like I did with Silica, but it did matter. Only a month or so my life was what I believed to be normal, as I didn’t know anyone to hurt me in either a physical or a mental sense and I’d never known myself to let any of this kind of pain inflict me so harshly.

The harshest, most brutal pain I’ve ever encountered was of my own doing, but it seemed to hurt me more and if not so, then she must be hurting so much that it’s almost unbearable. I’ll never forget the words “no going back” as they were and still are the marking of how I was the one to choose this. My choices to leave, hurt, cry and bleed out my sorrows.
But I wouldn’t cry now.

“Ha-ha!” I laughed hysterically to Berao, as I knew he wouldn’t like me laughing over something he wished to use against me. Pain. This was a sign that I wasn’t going to give into it and I’d sustain whatever hell I had to to prove it.
Maybe this was wrong of me, as I was being strong for the wrong reasons in the wrong circumstances, but it still helped me to escape for a while, I guess. “You find this funny, do you?” he sneered at me, his wide eyes revealing what seemed to be psychotic impulses, but I knew he wasn’t like his brother, as he didn’t have the damaged, insane atmosphere about him. He was crazed with angst, as I already guessed from the hand that’d moved from pinning me backwards to clasping at my throat, but he wasn’t insane.

I knew that much.

“Y-you’re the g-good one, aren’t you?” I tried to spit through strangled vocals, but he then let me free, as what I’d said, well tried to say, had stirred suspicion within him. Again, this made me sense he was like myself, as I also was easily lead into the hands of suspicion.

“What has that got to do with a weak, pathetic being like yourself?”

Weak? Pathetic? I wasn’t going to hold back like I knew I should’ve done. How was it fair for him to strangle, pull and push me, without me even retaliating? So I then pushed him backwards, so he nearly fell onto the path behind him, as he was steady enough to stop himself from falling, but my attack had alarmed him. I then went to hit him hard in the face, which worked and laughed psychotically whilst I did it again and again and again, until he spilled out crimson blood. He spat the blood onto the pavement at the left side of us and smiled back at me, the crimson liquid still on his face.

I smiled at my work and suddenly realised I shouldn’t have been smiling.

This was unnecessary, but I didn’t regret it one bit.

He came up closer to me, touching the part of his upper lip that still let the crimson flow and glared at me with those now even darker and accusatory eyes.

“You know Kaeo? How?”

The first answer I’d in mind for that question was “why should I even consider telling you that?” The other impulse I had within me was to hit him once more, or twice, or… Well, you get it. I restrained myself, almost as if another being was unknowingly holding me back and kept my eyes on him, thinking only neutral thoughts whilst I did this.

Positive was just impossible right now, as I had the urge to hate him, but negativity wasn’t the way forward either.

If I hurt him, that would defeat the purpose of my morals, as I only hurt the ones who I believed deserved it back then.

He was an asshole, but he didn’t deserve that.

“No, not “know” him exactly, but I’ve heard of him.” The look in his now lighter, seemingly dark brown eyes was now confusion, not accusation. I smiled at him pathetically, hopelessly trying to convince him he could trust my word, but he couldn’t, as I couldn’t even trust it anymore.

“You seem… on edge girl,” he laughed at me confidently, but soon fell silent when he saw something on my hand, something I was yet unaware of, “there’s something you’re hiding from me and whatever it is, I want to know!” His eyes burned down onto mine, as he was taller than me, this game me a feeling that he was condescending me, which I didn’t like at all, but I hid my emotions far beneath the surface.
I couldn’t make any more of a scene than I already might have done, if any other soul was about this place and besides, he wasn’t the one I wished to harm really. Kaeo was.

He then grasped onto my hand, quite harshly if I’m honest, which did have me surprised, as I though he would’ve preferred to hit me or something. He then lifted my left hand, which he now had hold of and looked down at it once again, but I still didn’t know why he did this. I then looked down for myself, expecting to be disappointed with my findings, but I wouldn’t call it disappointment what I felt. Betrayal. My skin was now covered with ink on parts of my left hand, this ink formed into an image, a sign, and a tattoo.

One that I knew I could never wash, remove, destroy, as the being who put it there wanted me to own this piece of art forever. This was the marking of how, from now on, I was hers and her object in a sense. Whatever she must ask of me, I should do, as I was now a part of her, not her of me. I laughed to myself hysterically, as I didn’t know what else to do and I could keep from staring endlessly at the snake tattoo that now covered my left hand, but I wouldn’t let myself fear such, what I believed to be, unimportant matters.

Only it was and will forever be, as I have her marking, therefore I can never be without her.


I laughed weakly to myself, not because I was happy or ecstatic or anything, but because if I didn’t laugh then I’d break and then I really would be bare, which now, I want to be. Back then, I hid from light, as it’s core burned way to bright for my eyes, but I embraced darkness as if it were my home, my destiny. Now, I hope for the opposite in some ways, but I still like darkness at times, I guess. Especially when darkness is an escape from light, that even now, still seems to spark too much.

I used to love being alone, being dark, being cruel, in a sense, but now I want others and I no longer need them like I used to do. If anything, wanting someone can be a much stronger emotion felt, rather than needing someone, as wanting someone is choice, not compulsory.

“I need to stay by her,” I looked down to my hands, that I now had back and folded them nervously, “it needs to stay that way.”

“You’re playing a game you know you will loose, whatever you are and I can’t trust you. Not if you’re siding with her! The cold…” he paused, whilst he adjusted to the sounds around him.

We then both heard her.

My leader, my controller, my player and Berao glared at me with shocked, yet steady eyes of madness and curiosity. But why were they so curious? Maybe he was intrigued by the unknown, or known of but distant, in a sense. Did he know Silica? Did he know me? If so, how? Shouldn’t I be asking him the questions?

“H-how do you know her, Silica I mean?” I knew she now stood behind Berao, but I wanted to know his answer for that, as I was intrigued by his sudden burst of curiosity.

“Because I’ve played her games many times before and I will not let her…” Silica balled her hands up into fists, ready to hit him cold out, but Berao was too fast, too quick, too used to it, which added to what he’d said about how he’d “played her games” before. I smiled distantly, as I didn’t know what else to do, but opened my moth in shock when Berao whammed his elbow into Silica’s stomach, sending her back a few steps, dizzy, but not beaten.

“We meet again, may I offer you a warm welcome?” Berao hissed at Silica, bearing his teeth as he did so and I suddenly thought to myself how ironic that was; as she was so-called the “cold” serpent and snakes were cold-blooded. I watched on, as Silica pushed her fist up into Berao’s face, which he then covered with his left hand, as if to prevent any more damage. But from what I already had witnessed of Silica, she didn’t feel like being so merciful. She kicked him over and over, in his stomach, which sent him crashing down after a few hits and then in his now sorry looking face.

I wanted to help him, but I knew it wasn’t my place to do so.

I did anyway, regardless.

“Silica stop!” I screamed at her and put myself between them whilst she took a short break from beating him endlessly, she glared at me like he’d done before when he noticed my before unknown tattoo, but I was making a stand.

“Why do you care, Abre?” she spat at me, but I expected this from her, “you! You…” I smiled knowingly at her, as I knew she had nothing legitimate to say to me, to support her doing this. What had he done to her today? I mean, the past was unknown of to me at the time, but judging by what I’d seen, it was seemingly obvious how Silica was now in control.

“What? Human? Well, I’d rather be at least partly humane, than be some fool who goes about defeating others for no reason, unless, Silica, you wish to inform me of such a reason?” What was I doing? I needed out, but I liked standing up to her, as I knew I was right to do so.

I wanted to tell her the truth, instead of falling to her every wish.

She then strolled over to us, myself and Berea and attempted to cross the line between us, metaphorically, of course, but I grabbed onto her shoulder before I could. She then took a step back, but I knew that this wasn’t because I’d scared her off or anything, she simply didn’t want to cause any more fuzz. Or at least I think she didn’t, anyway. “You’re right Abre, I guess, anyway. I’m sorry if I caused you any… discomfort. It wont happen again.” I smiled at her, but she wasn’t done yet.

“Don’t you mean to apologize to Berao? I mean, look at him!” She then did look at him, this must have shocked her, or I believed it should’ve done anyway, but she still didn’t seem to care for his wounds. His bruises and most of all his pride, but still, sensing that she did this more for me than him, she still did it, I suppose.

“I’m sorry, Berao,” she said this like it was more of an instruction than the right thing to do, “I’ll go easy on you next time.”

I scowled at her insensitivity and dismissive attitude towards the now seemingly weak man before us, but I didn’t know the complete reason for her angst, so I guess I couldn’t judge yet exactly. I still longed to know the truth, which was the reason as to why and how they know one another. The words “played her games,” repeated over and over, seemingly endlessly in my mind, but I simply had to dismiss them for now.

When Berao was done cowering from Silica down on the floor, he began to stand and the only kind gesture left to set about doing now was to help him. I saw Silica roll her dark, deep blue eyes when I wrapped my arm around the man who earlier tried to stop me from going about my now expected deeds, but she didn’t interrupt my helping him. He smiled a thankful grin, still painful to watch, as he gasped when he did this. His lip still bled from when I hit him, over and over.
I was just as bad as her, Silica, but thinking about it, I wasn’t. I helped him up when he was too weak to stand for himself, I ended Silica’s mad rage that lead to beating him into weakness and I stood by my morals, even when I believed I couldn’t. I was stronger than her in this sense, but much weaker in others.

“So, are we done having our little friendly chat now?” Silica demanded impatiently. I nodded and looked over to her once again; her eyes darted to mine like she knew what I was thinking.

“Can I trust her?”

She smiled acceptingly at this and looked over to Berao, her eyes still filled with the desire to inflict pain. “And you, go, before I can do anymore damage to that ugly, pathetic, dishonest face of yours!” she yelled at him so loud nearing the end, that he covered his ears, that I now only realised were filled with blood from her beating him. I shot Silica an accusing glance, how could she be so cruel?

“Because she’s Silica, the cold serpent, remember?”

I knew that, but I believed then that only humans were capable of such violence, which lead me thinking over that a little too deeply. Was she human?

“You’ll have to find out.”

This was all I had to hear, as my inner voices had begun to speak to me, just as much as any other voice would outside of my mind. Did this mean I was going insane?

He crouched, ready to defend himself, or at least try, from any more attacks on Silica’s behalf, but I knew as well as he did that she wouldn’t. Not again. Not for today, that is. He then straightened himself up, once again standing taller than myself and looked down to me, not as condescending as before though.

“Abre, if that’s your name, do the right thing. Don’t let this life mess you up like it did for my brother. You’ll soon understand. Please, don’t hurt him too much, if at all, because violence never amounts to anything.”

If so, then why did he shove me into a door?

This seemed rather ironic to me at the time coming from him, but I nodded along with it anyway.

“I believe it can amount to something in some scenarios, Berao, as violence can teach those who need stability lessons.

Lessons that should better them in the long run, therefore I disagree with your theory, as life is meaningless if lessons are never learnt.”

He laughed at my sudden outburst of confidence and loyalty to what I believed in, as before, I was a “little princess” to him, but now, he could see me for the demon that I really was. I was stronger than he presumed maybe, or as strong as he wanted me to be.

Judging by that almost proud and ecstatic smile of his, I believed it to be the latter.

“Hmm, interesting,” was all he said to catch my easily distracted self’s attention, sensing he wished me to listen on, I turned to him once again, meeting his gaze, “don’t do what I did and mess it up, okay?” I shook my head, as I couldn’t lie to Berao, even if I wished to.
“Now, I can’t promise you that. We all must make mistakes to learn from them.” Silica’s deadly stare motivated Berao to walk past me and then her, but before he left us to see his brother Kaeo, he turned around once more to see the both of us, which Silica didn’t like. “I mean it, Abre. Don’t hurt him, unless you have reason to. I’d try and stop you, but I can’t protect him forever.” I smiled at him, this time cruel and malicious, as I was sick of his pleads.

I wanted to play my way and that was that.

“I have reasons.”

He frowned at this, which left me feeling immense guilt inside, but I felt Silica’s smile on me, so a part of me naturally, almost instinctively, felt overwhelmingly proud also. I watched, well, we watched, as the man named Berao, brother to Kaeo, walked away from us. His head down, shoulders slouched and his footsteps quiet and I then knew Silica had an impacting affect on him.

One he couldn’t dismiss, even if he wished so, but he was strong, even if today he was or acted weak. I knew that, as he too stood up for what he believed in, which, for me, passes as strength. For a man who fights with nothing but his fists is nothing more than a fool; although, a man who fights with his pride and his destiny can be either a hero, or a leader. Therefore, if they’re a true leader or hero, they are strong in at least some ways, if not most.

Berao was strong, but he was awfully suspicious.

When he was about a hundred or two metres away, I sighed a sigh of relief, as now I was alone with Silica and we could finally begin what we’d travelled here to do. I was no longer on edge, suspicious, curious or anxious to find out more about Berao, as I could leave my worrying till later hours.

Now, I was ready to play games with those who deserve much harsher punishments than what seemed to me as an unfair sentence in human prison. 20 years was long and still is, I guess, but I saw it as Kaeo took the life of an innocent child and he somehow gets released in a few mere years.

How is that fair?

I tried not to over think Berao and his brother Kaeo too much as we entered the prison entrance, but it was difficult, as running into the criminals brother only made this experience feel even more wrong and unusual than it already did. I believed what I was doing was completely right judging by the circumstances, but that didn’t stop me from wanting to turn back, especially after what’d happened. Maybe that was what Berao wanted. For me to turn back, as he knew I was easily distracted, but I killed the though and carried on towards the reception ahead of us.

Silica and I both took in deep breaths and exchanged glances before we came face to face with the woman at the desk and I then took an even deeper breath in shock and surprise. I recognised the face of the woman and found this piece of evidence rather ironic judging by the building we were in. A prison. The face belonged to Becky Harrow, the murderer, the woman who Jessica and myself came about discovering, but most importantly, the one human being for sure who wasn’t afraid of me.

I didn’t know what to do. Run from the woman who was bound to recognise me, or stay and risk her suspicion. Although, she couldn’t say or do anything to me, could she?
As I knew of her secret and she knew of mine. I knew of how she’d killed her husband’s mistress, but she also knew of how I craved power and adrenaline at the time. Could she use such what I believed to be natural impulses against me? The main question I was focusing on was would she? Something told me to be wary of her and I didn’t know whether that instinct was formed out of angst at her not fearing me, or distrust of the unknown. Maybe, I knew that being with Silica would affect this, as I came across Becky in my “old” life.

If Becky recalled how Jessica and I were so loyal to one another, as I followed her instructions when she told me not to hit Becky, then would she use this against me? This would easily arise suspicion in Silica’s mind and yes; I was and still am slightly afraid of her.

Maybe this was partly the reason

I agreed to side with her at the time, to prevent myself from harm.

How selfish that seems to me now.

If only I’d have thought it through more, maybe I would’ve come out of this, all of this, much better…