Status: Rated PG-13 because of language used in later chapters and Abre (main character) isn't just a character to me, as she has helped me see my own light, which seems ridiculous I know. But it's true.

Imprinted Years


“Are you okay?” she asked me in a calm, yet unusually wary voice, “you can tell me what’s bothering you…”

Wow, she really has a cheek doesn’t she! To think she just simply implied that something has upset me! What does she think I am? I little weakling that can’t protect herself against any little thing? “Nothing, is bothering me, okay?” I growled at her, aggravated by her kindness, I guess I was bothered and I didn’t see how, at the time, this didn’t help my plea to me being okay.

“I know you’re lying to me!” she shouted, but she was not angry in the same way I was. She was angry because I wouldn’t tell her what I knew I should’ve now looking back on it and I was angry at her, because I saw her helping as interfering. I guess I was weak, in a sense. I wasn’t strong enough to fight off the wrong feelings of shame, as I truly believed I had to be ashamed for being bothered by such a thing. I thought that letting a silly thing like a dream and a few complicated questions I’d asked myself get to me, meant that I was unworthy of anyone’s kindness and help towards me.

So, instead of thanking her for her attempts, I turned against her, angry at myself more than anything.

“Please, I know you dreamt of him. I saw.” She put a hand on my shaking knee, in an attempt to calm me. Why was I shaking? I still don’t know. A part of me believes that it was because I could feel myself about to open up to her, which was a new experience for me. I’d never opened up to a friend before, as I never really had any. But now, I think I was shaking and all shook up, because I was preparing myself to let a different side of me show for a change. My true colours, the side, which I believed, was weak, but now, I see it as a much stronger side than the part of me that turned to violence to get a sick, unexplainable thrill.

I honestly opened up to this girl I’d only known, well, two days, I suppose. Two days? It felt so much longer than that, but I knew that two days must be right, seeing as yesterday was the day we met, where all of the rocks were and then that’s where I returned earlier this day. Where she then took me to the ice pools, somewhere where I still don’t know exactly and where I told her all about Macy and my games, but it felt so much longer than just two days.

It took a while to take it in.

How I went from hating her, to fearing her, to leaning on her, metaphorically, of course, in just 48 hours! I told her about how I’d dreamt of him, the body I currently didn’t know the name of, but whom I knew was somehow, magically different from other humans and she didn’t interrupt or pull a face thinking I was for the entire time I spoke. When I finished, she took a deep breathe and looked to me, I knew she was about to give me some advice on how to deal with it or something, but I didn’t expect her to say what she did.

“I think you should continue on with the dream,” my face turned from emotional to confusion in the matter of a single second. “I’m not saying believe it, I mean, if you truly believe it isn’t true. All I am saying is that you should pursue on with it, instead of blocking it from your memory. That way, you can make up your mind for sure.” She smiled a helpful, generous smile and looked down to her hands whilst I thought on it, although I’d already made my decision almost as soon as she finished her last sentence.

“No.” I said in a peaceful, yet stern tone, making it clear that I really didn’t want to think on it anymore.

“Don’t you want to think about if first, Abre?” I shook my head, thinking I was absolutely certain I didn’t want anything at all to do with this human or any human for that matter, whether he was real or just a figure of my imagination, I didn’t care. I couldn’t let myself hope for something, that I believed not to be possible. Jessica understood my sternness and what can also be seen as a stubborn attitude towards her suggestion, so she left it at that, leaving me to be in this cold, empty room, that was still quite homely for a dark, lurking soul like I.

I then slept for around 6 and a quarter-hours, when I woke I turned my head tiredly to the left, as that is the direction in which I earlier in my shallow sleep, I heard footsteps. When I’d adjusted my eyes, I made out Jessica in the opposite darkened, lonely corner to where I now sat up straight, staring at her in astonishment.

How did she creep back in without me noticing? I always notice when someone or something appears in the room I stand, sleep or sit in, as I can feel their presence, whether I’m conscious or not. But Jessica had slipped right pass my barrier, without me even noticing. I was surprised and somewhat amazed, but I thought it best not to mention how she’d beaten my skill.

“Hello, you’re up early,” she smiled as she stood up from the corner where she’d been sitting for goodness knows how long and came closer to where I still sat upright, half asleep, with only just awakening.

“I think I could’ve said the same about you, how long have you been here?” She laughed and sat herself down by the right of me now, followed by her having a quick, yet swift look at her watch on her left arm.

“Um, around 5 hours or so, why?” My eyes glared at her again with complete amazement, she’d been here for five hours!

“What? Why did you come in so early?” I asked her, my voice slightly alarmed by her length of presence, but I was truthfully more worried about how I didn’t notice. Gosh, I could’ve had a murderer or some psychotic mortal in my room and I may have not even noticed, or sensed anything! Were my senses weakening?

“Don’t worry, I came in to check on you and I ended up staying a little longer than I thought. I got distracted, I guess and I apologize if I startled you.” Wait, she got distracted? She laughed pleasantly, but it also confused me as to why. “Yes, but not by sleep or anything. I didn’t stay in your room so that I could rest, no. I liked it here, to be honest and I didn’t realise how long I’d stayed in here for, just plainly staring into darkness and thinking over things.”

Ah, that’s what it was. She was laughing, as she’d read my mind, again. I wish she’d stop doing this. I then saw her shoot an apologetic look at me and whisper, “sorry” and it was then I who laughed uncontrollably. I know, it wasn’t that funny, but I just felt in a laughing mood, I suppose.

“So, are you ready to begin our first games as a duo, Abre?” I nodded, anxious yet powerfully excited about our first lesson we’d teach some weak, helpless human as a team and I then realised that it wasn’t only excitement and a strange kind of anxiety that actually made me want to continue on with it that interested me about this. It was the fact that I was going on a sort of adventure, with a friend who’d grown so close to my heart in only a matter of days.

These new, wonderful realisations only made me feel butterflies inside, making me feel the more thrilled about what this day would bring by the second.

“Hell yeah I’m ready,” I smiled my confident, excited and completely in control smile, which made me feel ever more alive than I already felt. With that, I stood up from where I sat, no longer filled with psychological fatigue, that had only built up because I’d told myself I was tired to be honest and I no longer needed to feel it, as now I felt like I’d drank 10 litres of strong coffee.

My bones were alive with fuel and I wasn’t going to waste it. My mind was in the perfect stage for a good teaching, so now, we would begin our first game, which was my personal favourite adventure of ours over the few days we’d known each other. This would certainly be an outing, I strangely don’t regret too much, as I knew that back then, we were doing this for the good of humanity. Changing people’s lives for the better. Yes, it may have been hard for both our “pupils” and we ourselves, but in the end, a good outcome was always going to come around, right? I didn’t expect there to be any drawbacks at all.

We were walking down that same cold, darkened and most daunting, mysterious path as we did yesterday afternoon, making our way to the town where we would find our “pupils.” When we came to the end of this quite long path, Jessica stopped still and turned to me, her eyes filled with clear desire.

“You lead the way,” she smiled at me, in a way that seemed to say that I basically had no choice. So I did, even though I’d no idea of where to start.

“Where to?” I asked, curiosity and intense worry in my now paranoid voice, I didn’t like being in control of something I’d absolutely no idea of how to control.

“I’ll tell you five characteristics about this person, all five are the key to your senses finding him or her, as I believe you are strong enough to search for them.” Okay, so I’m guessing they had to be close, right? But I saw no soul on these streets. “Okay, you’re confused, I get it. It’ll seem clearer once I tell you these four characteristics you must know to find him or her. This is the technique I used to find you. I followed you to that scene filled with several rock pools without you even noticing, as I followed your scent, then read your mind and then I had all I needed to beat you to your destination, you see.”

She must be lying, I thought without a single doubt in mind at the time.

“Nope, trust me. It does work.”

I closed my eyes, trying to understand all she was throwing at me, “so, you knew five of my characteristics?”

She shook her head, sighing before she spoke, “I didn’t need to know all of them, as I already knew who you were and what you looked like. I just needed to track your scent, your presence and your thoughts. Which wasn’t too difficult, as I tracked all of those when I first saw you. Which was in school, two years ago. My name was different back then and I wasn’t in your year, but I saw you once, which was enough for me to take in your thoughts of yourself and Loki. I then had enough to know that it was you. I then tracked all of the other characteristics I needed, for future reference, so then if I ever needed to find you, I could.”

I watched her in complete confusion, yet once again astonishment, as I realised all that she was saying was true.

“So you planned our first meeting?” she nodded, so I asked another question I was burning to ask her, “but why?” She smiled and caught my gaze once again, keeping my attention tight on her.

“Because I saw something unique in you, Abre and I knew that I had to understand you, make myself respectable to you. I wanted someone who understood me and who I could understand myself.” I did understand her. Every thing she said, I understood, as I’d known the feeling before. Years of loneliness, can lead to an insane desperation for another soul’s understanding. Whether they liked you or not, which at first, both Jessica and I didn’t like each other. Why I don’t know.

I then believed it was because we both believed ourselves to be stronger and more powerful than we actually were, but I didn’t know then all of who she really was.

I then turned my back on her and forced myself to stop with the questions and focus on the task she’d set me.

“Okay, so tell me,” I took a deep breath in, taking in all the cool, untouched air about me and sensing my soul beneath my carefully beating heart. “I’m ready, Jessica.” I sensed her smile behind me, wow, I guess I was quite good at this and then; she spoke softly, but in a serious, non-playful tone.

“Her name; Becky Harrow, her sin; murder of her ex-husband’s mistress, her scent; musk perfume and finally, her presence; haunted, these are all the characters you should need, but don’t panic if you are unable to trace her, as this is an extremely big task I’m asking of you.” I wanted to turn around to see her again and read the expression on her pale, flawless face, but I told myself I had to at least try at this. I couldn’t distract myself, because I knew the real reason as to why I wanted to turn to her.

I wanted to get out of this, as I was afraid to show myself up, but the curiosity drive inside of me compelled me to continue on with it. I then repeated this woman’s characteristics Jessica had given me over and over in my head, tattooing them on my now pressurised brain. I forced myself to not give in to the easy way out of this. Admitting defeat. I wouldn’t be beaten so easily, I chanted the words over and over, again and again, louder and louder, until my eyes closed, thinking over it clearly.

I matched them together, tried to create a starting point for my first “pupil” and squeezed my eyes tighter the more I studied her four characteristics. As I fixed them, adjusted them in my mind, other characteristics were revealed too and it felt like some kind of strange spell I was under, rather than some weird sense I now possessed. After a few moments of searching through minor details like her possessions, her clothes and her contact details, I finally found a piece of the puzzle that seemed useful.

At first it was clouded, but then as I focused on it, the blurs on this now clear photo in my fixed mine disappeared and I was then left with a perfect image of one Becky Harrow. I was now complete to find her. I’d found the fifth and final piece I needed to track down this mortal murderer and I was now filled with a burning adrenaline to do so.

Now, all I had to do was follow all of the other four characteristics Jess had given me and drawing them all down to the one I’d found myself. I get how strange and difficult this may sound, but after what I’d just experienced, I wasn’t able to feel any sense of difficulty in the challenge ahead. All I felt was an alive fire, telling me to go along with it and I didn’t have one doubt in my mind that I couldn’t do it. For one of the first times ever, I was actually right to follow my instincts.

I then opened my eyes with a quick flash of light entering my now lively, wide eyes and got into my running position, crouching forwards like I was about to attack, only I wasn’t. Well, not exactly, anyway. I was going to find my prey, not attack it, but I meant no harm to it either. Jessica followed my movements, crouching in her own way and I felt her eyes watching me, knowing I’d found her, but I ignored her. I couldn’t be distracted, even if she was only trying to help, I needed to stay in the mode, or else I could lose this “Becky Harrow” within a second. I then, without even slightly hesitating, inhaled the fresh, smooth air and let it flow through me, like electricity through a wire cord.

Who knew how strong nature’s touch must be, to fill my head and body with a new sense of adrenaline and energy. I now could chase her, without tiring or boring out of it. I was alive and I was certainly willing to do so, so I now faced my head to the grey, clear ground and went for it with all I had. I felt as the power engine in my body rifled up to a staggering new limit and as my before fatigued legs, but now as energetic as an athlete’s, began to shake with excitement and the rush I was about to pursue. Before I knew it, I was fleeing through the streets, past empty shops and filled houses, which didn’t stand out among the others.

They all looked the same to me, as I was running the fastest I’d ever ran, also, they all seemed rather full. Uninviting. Like, it was more compulsory than choice to shop or live there. The wind got cooler and stronger the faster I ran, so after about half a minute of running, my body was rather cold and fighting against the power of the wind’s blast. I then jolted my dizzy, yet still alive, head to where Jessica still ran by my side, like a true friend, by my left side.

I smiled at her and continued, until I smelt the scent of musk perfume and I felt the haunting presence that the person who wore this very distinct perfume also wore with her everywhere she went. I then sensed her crime with the haunted presence too, as they both formed into one. Her reason for being haunted was the crime she’d committed and gotten away with. I then only needed her face to track her down, which would obviously lead me to the name I already knew. I then, in the corner of my right eye, caught a glimpse of the image plastered to my mind.

Long, dirty-blonde hair, dropping from this mortal’s scalp to her torso, deep blue, mysterious, oval shaped eyes that glared right at where I’d now stopped still in my path and last but not least, the name that matched this mortal’s face. Becky Harrow. The mortal I’d wished to find, was standing right in front of where I now stood, knowing exactly what I must do next. But first, I had to quickly make a plan of how I was going to do that. How I was going to get her alone, without a single soul knowing about it. Now, I had to continue with it, as we’d already gotten so far.

“So, what now?” Jessica asked in an obviously pretend anxious voice, but I didn’t see why she had to pretend, or try to trick me in another sense.

“Watch and learn,” I said, confidence clearly in the mists of my voice, as I continued towards the woman who was apparently named Becky Harrow. My first guess was, she’d be expecting us, but then I realised how stupid that was. Of course she didn’t expect us, which means she doesn’t expect a thing yet, right? Wrong. As I neared her, her eyes turned from casual, to curious and then, as I stood a metre away from her, panic.

“What are you doing?” she asked in an alarming tone, my stalking upon her must’ve shocked her, or made her suspicious. I couldn’t tell which, which was odd, seeing as I should be able to detect people’s reactions by now. I then realised how I cam across to her. Suspecting and questionably curious about her, so then I changed my whole act. I pretended to just be a neighbourly girl wandering around the streets, looking for someone.

“Do you know, um, Katie?” I asked in an unsure voice, “Katie Unsworth? I don’t, but she left something quite important at school, so I though I must give it her back.” She smiled pleasantly, obviously an act by the way she forced upon it so much. Any human would’ve thought it genuine, but they don’t always have the gift of realisation. No wonder she’d gotten away with murder.

“No, I’m afraid I don’t,” she smiled again, still as fake as the make-up that concealed her, hiding her from the outside world. Like a form of protection, that was more mental than physical.

“Don’t be afraid, Becky,” I said in a hissing tone, aggravated by her pathetic act, “I wont hurt you.” I smiled a teasing and tormenting smile, before grasping tight onto her wrist and dragging her into the nearest alleyway.

Jess followed, confusion covered her face like blood covers the floor when spilt and I shot her a confident glance, so she’d know I knew what I was doing.

“Now, Becky Harrow, you’re going to keep quiet and go along with us, or I will do to you what you did to your ex husband’s mistress,” I paused, waiting for the name to come, “Mandy, was it?” She nodded. I didn’t know if she was nodding to confirm my first statement, or answer my question. “Well?” she looked at me properly now, no fear in her eyes, only terror of getting caught for what she’d done.

“I understand, I’ll go and I wont say a word. I promise and yes, her name was Mandy.” I smiled, thankful for getting somewhere with this very strange being, but I couldn’t be grateful for long, so we then left the alleyway to go to her apartment. I kept tight hold of her arm, even though I believed I didn’t need to. This woman wasn’t at all afraid, you see. She was curious and people who wonder over things, always like having answers. Trust me, I know it better than anyone.

We then came to as stop when I asked Becky if this was the right apartment. She nodded saying it was “floor 3” and she didn’t at all ask how I knew this was the right building, as I think she knew we knew as soon as we set out finding it.

“Got the keys?” I asked her, but it wasn’t really me asking her for the keys, I was kindly saying, “Please may I have your keys?” but this, was most certainly a command and she understood. When she’d passed me her keys, surprisingly without a single hesitation, I smiled pleasantly at her, like she’d smiled to me before and I walked through the building’s lower doors, still grasping her hands in my left hand.

When we were all in, I let go. Jessica shot me an accusing glance, but I knew what I was doing and I knew that she knew that too. She was just being cautious. Well, that’s what I thought, anyway. “You know the rules” is all I had to say to Becky to stop her from running or crying out, because she already knew of our power and I had a feeling she didn’t want to see that side of us. No matter how fearless she was or pretended to be.

We walked to the stairs, smiling at the receptionist as we did, but not an overacted smiled. It was more casual and spontaneous. I smiled to myself as we reached the stairs, amazed by my act and whispered in Jess’s ear, “I have this all covered, trust me.” She nodded, still a bit unsure, but I knew she trusted me enough with this. When we’d reached the floor labelled “3” I looked about me, just to check that we weren’t being followed and for some reason, right there and then was when I thought about him for the first time in nearly two days. Father. What would he do if he knew I was out playing mind games with some human? I pushed the thought aside and followed my senses to her apartment. “17.”
It wasn’t at all a question to Becky, asking her to confirm what number her apartment was. It was a confirmation to myself, as I already knew that I was right. She nodded anyway, which I think she just did in case I was asking her. Not that she actually believed I was. If that makes any sense at all, so with my own confirmation, hers and Jessica’s nod of acceptance when I looked to her for confirmation also, we were ready to begin. Becky and I were the first in, Jessica followed, still only a mere foot behind us, it felt like a mile for me. I guess I was a little wary myself, as now the fun part was over. The self-testing and the adrenaline filled feeling.

Now, I had to really think this through, or it could go awfully wrong. I was very grateful that I had Jessica with me, but as I entered the new, furnished and bright room that belonged to this unusual character, I suddenly had a new sense of fear. Loneliness. I don’t know why it was there and then, maybe it was because of the bright furnishings and photographs of loved ones, but I felt I needed Jessica right by my side. Which was good, as she was in just a matter of seconds, but I found it odd as why I was afraid of being on my own with her.

Maybe I was getting frail and didn’t like being around those I didn’t know, especially humans. Humans who’ve murdered other humans and there was something else apart from that that made me distrust this Becky Harrow, but I just couldn’t put my finger on it.

When we were both inside, door shut, focus all on the one human in the room and I let Becky sit on her own sofa, without forcing her to “kneel” as my father would. The funny thing is, I’m not joking, as he’d actually do that with his “players” as he calls them. This wasn’t a threatening event, or even a brutal one. It was our teaching, to try and shock, install and half-demand, half-advise our intellect into her, making her understand why she must change. That could start, by getting her to admit to it and for her to explain what she did and why she did it.

It wasn’t going to be easy, or so I presumed, but something told me she’d have something to hide. So even if she told us what seemed like everything, she still might try hiding certain details, but she wouldn’t of known the complete potential of our gifts and senses. We could read her mind, well, Jess could and I could try and figure out her darkest secrets with my newly adapted skill. This wasn’t going to be easy, as I’d never done this kind of game before for this kind of reason.

I’d taught Macy a lesson by complete accident, but that’s what sort of inspired me to do this. Helping those, who tell themselves they are already detached from humankind. But we couldn’t be sympathising or empathic towards a murderer, could we? But was it right to stick by the hypothesis “an eye for an eye?” On the other hand, the only other option would be to forgive and isn’t it worse to forgive a murderer, than cast them as an outsider from nature? But what is nature?

Again, I had to find these answers all on my own and some questions in this weird, yet wonderful life, can’t be answered. Even if they were answered by some unknown genius, how would someone prove it to be true? Will we, we being all of life on Earth, ever know what true morals are? Or will we continue to live in ignorance and even, in some cases, defiance at finding the answer for ourselves? Nature could be at fault for all of the violence on this Earth, if so, it would be right to avoid humans to a point, but if they were born with this violence within them, is it really their fault?

I mean, I have a violent streak, but yet again, is mine because of my unchangeable nature; or was it because of the nurture that was this world about me? Was it my completely my own fault I was this way; or was I a victim of pure nature? I may never find out the right answer, which would conclude all of my theories, once and for all.

She then spoke, without us needing to ask or make her do so, surprisingly, she came across quite willing to speak about her sins, which only made me ever more suspicious of her. “I don’t know how you know of what I did, I mean, who I killed, but I will tell you anyway, as I’m guessing that’s what you want to hear.” We, being Jess and I, nodded simultaneously and listened on, as this human told us what we believed to be the truth, as none of us could detect any different.

“It started a year ago, I was a nasty piece of work then and even though I was tough to live with, I still had who I believed was the perfect husband. He was kind, believably honest and supposedly caring, but the sweet feeling of our love didn’t last long. I came home one night and you’re probably expecting me to say “I found him in bed with another woman” well, I didn’t exactly. I came home from work late, actually and he scolded me for not letting him know sooner. He then, never mind.”

Why had she stopped? Obviously, she was hiding something from us. “What? Tell me, I mean, us.”

She hesitated and I though I would’ve had to force her into it someway, but she then continued, “that part is really not important, if I tell you every single detail, we could be here for hours.” I nodded, accepting what she was saying, but I knew she was hiding something, but what I don’t know.

“So we argued and I hit him, as I was aggravated by his childish, insecure, yet most annoyingly, angry behaviour. He then left it, leaving me be for a few days, which I wasn’t sure of whether I liked or not. I used to like him being around me, but then I seemed to feel pleasure with him gone. I don’t know why.” She gave us a saddened glance, obviously by accident, by the shame that followed. Why was she ashamed?

This was completely normal human behaviour, right? Maybe not the hitting him bit, but from what I saw of humans back then, I wouldn’t have discharged it.

She then went on to say how she one day decided to look through her husbands drawers, as she seemed to be suspicious of his unusual, negative behaviour recently and then she realised how it wasn’t angst that caused his problem, it was deceit. She came across an old wallet of his, that she assumed he didn’t use anymore, but out of complete curiosity, she opened it and saw the person who apparently ruined her life forever. “Mandy Harley” I think she said. A picture of her was tucked neatly into the picture slot of the wallet, where humans’ display photographs of their family members, pets, or in this case, mistresses.

What made this photo worse was that it was dated only a few weeks before she found it and when she looked inside the inner pockets of the wallet, she saw something that concluded her theory of her husband’s affair. An extremely obvious display of affection, as now she looked upon her husband and this “Mandy” kissing in this photograph, dated again, only a few weeks before. She then told us the understandable hurt and betrayal she felt when she discovered this evidence, how she wished to confront him, but then she felt more angst and aggravation at how someone so convincingly kind and generous had fooled her so.

She didn’t know how to act or how to take revenge on them. Both of them, but apparently, “fate” struck her, as a few days after her discovery, her “perfect” opportunity came along.

“What happened was, I was in town, well, where you found me today and I was just going about my daily routine. I’d finished work at 7pm and I was then out to get some groceries, as I realised we were running low on some items. I then made my way back through the town, to where I’d parked my car, but I stopped dead in my paths when I saw her.

Straight, brunette hair, brown eyes and a pretty, yet easily deceivably kind face of hers, which didn’t exactly fill me with the angst I wished it to, or believed it would. Instead, I felt drive to continue on after her, mapping her every footstep. So, that’s what I set out to do. I’d stalk around corners, keeping my eyes on her brunette hair from the back as I did and I wasn’t foolish about my following her.

Haunting her, if you will. I was extremely careful about how I did it, like I was being watched myself, which was unlikely as not many were about at this time. Many were at home, eating tea and watching Saturday night television. So it didn’t exactly matter how I continue to follow her, although, even though no one else would see me, what with it being dark and all, I still felt the eyes of my critical, powerful conscience burning into me as I followed. I didn’t like that, as you’d expect, so that’s why I was being so careful. Not because of the thought of getting caught out by any other person, oh no, it was the thought of my conscience catching me out.

I see it now; the dim lighted street lamps, the cracked pavement, and the slightly overconfident walk of the betrayer in front of me. In viewing distance from where I simply strolled, making it seem like I’d no business to be here and that I was just here to wander about aimlessly.”

It seemed to me and I sensed to Jess also, that she wasn’t just recapping all of this for us; she was remembering that night for herself. For her own sanity, this thought worried me, strangely, as I then had a strong sense to hit her.

“Liar!” I screamed in my head, having the sense to not shout it out loud.

“She’s doing this for herself! I’ve no power over her at all and neither has Jess! That proves my theory then, all humans must be selfish.” But I pushed the sudden angst aside and let her continue, I was hoping, that a part of what I just realised wasn’t true. I was relying on her to tell us all of her story, not only the parts she wishes to remember and if she didn’t, then I wasn’t just going to sit back and do nothing. I smiled to myself, feeling my power return as I planned it in my head. How I’d make her pay, if she believed she could fool us, well, me.

“Continue!” I demanded at her and she didn’t dare look me in the eyes. I knew she didn’t fear me, not yet, but she knew when to back down and when to rise. She knew when to pretend she was afraid, I could sense it was hard for her, but it pleased me only slightly that she lied in this way, as I didn’t feel the complete power and adrenaline I should when someone cowers to me, which sounds rather selfish and sadistic, but it was true back then.

I did feed on those who suffered, like a demon would feed upon a fresh, clean soul, until it was black with mud and dust. She did continue though, even though she pretended to feel beat by my order, which yet again, aggravated me, as I could clearly see and hear when she spoke, she feared nothing. Not even me.

“Then, I watched her turn a corner suddenly down this eccentric footpath, when I reached it, I saw how there were no lights, no life, apart from the one I followed and absolute darkness. We’d entered into a perplexedly solitude and silent, what seemed to look like a cave, but I knew it wasn’t. It was a tunnel, but why? Why did she wish to pass through here? Did she want to get killed or something? Anyone could come at her! Then I realised, I could be that anyone. I could do it now, what’s to loose? No one would see me and by the looks of it, there were no security cameras. I decided on it, I was going to do it, for once and for all, but the second I began to quicken my pace, I heard something.

“I-Is someone, t-there?” she asked in a quiet stutter, she’d heard my footsteps rising up on her and had questioned my being there, I could tell. Before I could…”
I saw as she shook her head in what I seemed to think was shameful solemn, but I hinted a sense of vindictive feelings still in her; the story was still fresh to her. It wasn’t too long ago and that’s why she was casting the memory back to herself.

She was a liar.

Without thinking, or even hesitating for that matter, I let my right hand ball up into a fist and then smack harshly into her jaw, sadistically laughing when I heard her jump in both pain and shock. But still no fear, what was wrong with her? Maybe I should’ve been wondering, what’s wrong with me?

Becky glared at me, as if she was trying to make me burn into flames and suffer like no one had suffered before, but she then turned when our eyes met. Again, this was not out of fear, like I wished it would be, but out of respect and her wise ability to detect when and when not to challenge someone or something. I then looked over to see Jess, angst and adrenaline filled my face, I wished to punch Becky again, only harder and with more force this time. I guess I really was sadistic, as I now only wished to do it, not out of desire to hurt her exactly, but desire to see her in even the slightest of pain.

I balled my hands up into a fist, tighter than the last time as I was aiming to increase the strength of my hit, but as I was nearing her face with my now clenched fist of fire and fury, a controlled clasp tightens on my hand. I then glared to the owner of this quite demanding hold on my now shaky hand, due to the angst I felt at being stopped from doing what I wished. I then saw Jess, her eyes filled with disgrace and sullenness when she caught my gaze. She gave me a look that made me feel ice inside, but this cold, inflamed feeling inside me didn’t thrill or excite me at all.

Instead, this disappointed, cold look, made me feel shame and a kind of shock, when I looked back to my fist and realised what I was actually doing. She only had to say one word, in that low, accusatory tone she held and I knew I’d to listen to her. “No.” I closed my eyes, sucking in all of the angst I’d surrounded around me and letting it fill into a tight sphere of nothingness.

Then, I freed it out of my body and mind, before it could consume both my actions and myself. I now opened my eyes in one quick flash and shot my friend, my helper, my teacher, an apologetic look. I was sorry now. Not for wanting to punch Becky, exactly, but for doing something I knew she’d disapprove of. She gave me an unsure glance, but then released her grip on my now frozen, tense arm and I then knew she hadn’t forgiven me yet. She did believe me though, which was a start, I suppose.

I smiled wryly, my throat too dry with shame of being so rash and selfish only moments earlier, I made sure that Becky could see my smile, so then she hopefully knew that it was the end of that kind of behaviour. For that day it was, anyway. She smiled back, another sign she wasn’t afraid, as her smile was too genuine, not like she was forcing it. She had no reason to force it, as she had to reason to feel fear, which yet again, threatened me in itself, a fault I had to learn to control.

I couldn’t always feel so bitter over others’ great attempts at discarding fear completely, I feared many things and I wasn’t blessed with the skill to instantly forget them. I feared competition, heights, overconfidence, as it made me feel intimidating in a childish, pathetic way, moths, demons and most of all, nightmares. Every night I’d twist and turn, watching myself become this blood thirsty being that devoured all life and left those she loved behind. Who at this time were only Jessica and Loki, as I loved no one else, due to not really knowing anyone else, or not wanting to also. So, I wasn’t angry with her because of her stubbornness to fear.
I was angry with myself, as I couldn’t seem to end this overwhelming feeling of jealousy that consumed me from within. I was turning more beastlike everyday. I needed to control this. I was considering this for a while, and then realising no one had spoke in a while. I nodded at Becky, implying she should continue. She did and both Jessica and I listened on in intrigue.

“So, um, before I could do anything else but charge at her, she turned, she didn’t see my face due to the lack of light, but she saw enough of my shadowed figure to scream. I would’ve been shocked by her discovery too, if I wasn’t already pumped up with sadistic adrenaline, seeing her it the fire of angst and revenge in my heart and I wished to unleash this burning within me. I screamed at her, saying nothing, just screaming and shouting hate and threatening her at the top of my lungs. I wanted her to panic, to hurt, to freak out inside, like I did when I saw them together.

I wanted her pain, I wanted to feel sadistic and I wanted her dead. I laughed, the tone high on hysterical madness, as I edged closer to her. She ran, obviously, but I was too fast and so I caught her up in a few mere seconds. I grasped her thick, glossy, brunette hair, her now pleading brown eyes glared at me as I turned her to see me. I then pushed her against the wall, clasping my hands tightly around her throat. Hearing her muted splutters of agony as I made my grip tighter.

She wriggled from side to side, almost unnaturally, trying to weave out of my web. It didn’t matter that she saw who I was, I wanted to end her, and so I would. She started spitting out silent mumbles, as her throat was now too sore and too squashed to speak, I let my right hand fall, pinning her slim, weak body to the wall. I laughed, hissed in her face and made it clear to her, that she was the reason for her own pain. It was her fault and I sensed she already knew it.

“I then, with one harsh movement, kicked her hard into her sides with my right knee, sending her drooping to the floor in one pathetic, quick fall and then I knelt down so her eyes, slowly and hesitantly, met mine. I smiled wryly, making my lips turn up, as the adrenaline now had built up into confidence and had consumed me, wrapping me up in this sickly, yet sweet aroma of power. I swam in it, letting my head fly in it, soaring through the tastes of this liars pain I had, trapped in my glance. I then grabbed onto her hair, tugging it as hard as I could force myself to, making her twist and scream in agony.

No one could hear her, so I continued. “Tell me your sins and I will free you, easy as that,” I was lying, of course and even if I did free her, which I most definitely wouldn’t, it would not be easy. She’d go running to the police and things would get both out of hand and confusing.

She shook her head, “I have none!” she pleaded in the gripping pain that surrounded her systems, that flowed through her blood circuits and that snatched at her insides, making her face twist in pain. Every time I pulled her hair upwards, thrusting her head up with it.

“Liar!” I shouted, my tone demanding and controlled, I needed a real answer and I needed to see her try to defend herself. I needed to hear her excuses for how she’d hurt and betrayed a total stranger. I needed answers and if that meant hurting this weak, liability of a coward, then I would.

I kicked her over and over, until she fell head first to the floor, I didn’t sympathise with this liar, instead, I smiled to myself, but it was a pity she didn’t see the grin that now suppressed my face.

“I told you to tell me!” I screamed at her, she’d finally got the message, or so I believed, as she now tried to sit herself up, like she was going to do or say something and she wouldn’t dare do anything but spill out her deceit right now, would she?
She gulped, pressing a hand to her head, as it was now bleeding due to her smacking it on the floor when she fell. Her own stupid fault, I thought, which was quite bitter, even for me. I kicked her again, not as harsh as before, but just as an order, a reminder of her to continue. “Okay, okay, I…” she closed her eyes, her eyelids covered with crimson blood also and then she shot an accusatory, yet feared look at me, “I had an affair, with someone who’s already married, okay? Happy now?”

Happy? Was I happy? I smiled at her, “of course, sweetheart,” I had a sarcastic tone, “let me just help you up there.”

I smiled again at her, pulling my pursed lips back to show her my bare teeth, like a vicious dog would to it’s victim. She shook her head violently and pulled away but I pinned her leg down with a knife I’d whipped out of my pocket before she could move much further away from me. She squealed in pain, who does she think I am, to be so stupid to not think of a way to keep her there?

I didn’t care about answers anymore, though, I already had mine, so I let her scream out in writhing hurt and pain again, until her yells bored me. I then clasped a hand over her shaky, screaming lips and pressed my hand hard into her wounded leg, she gasped in torturous pain that overwhelmed her, discharged all of her limited fight in her and kept her begging eyes on mine. I continued to laugh at her, finding her now lack of confidence and power hilarious.

I studied her, making sure she wouldn’t try to run again. I couldn’t be bothered with chasing people like her. I then let go and let her have her last cry, releasing my hand from her leg, she didn’t move, she’d sensibly realised, if she did, I would make her suffer for it.

I then took the knife back into my right hand, I was ambidextrous, so it didn’t matter which I used, but I’d already had my left pinning her down, so I left it. She continued to plead, muffle useless words that I couldn’t understand due to the wimps of weakness that followed and most pathetically, she tried to cry out for help. But with that coarse voice of hers, that yet again was brought on because of her failing attempts to release the pain by crying, it was again useless.

Maybe I shouldn’t have thought so harshly about her reaction to the pain I unleashed onto her, but she’d ruined my life, or so I believed, so I thought her pain as foolish, not pitiful. With one last act of cruelness and sadistic violence. I thumped the bleeding knife, that still dripped of her own crimson blood, into her chest, making her eyes dart about in a fusion of shock and worry.

“Don’t worry,” I whispered, teasingly and hauntingly, “you wont feel the pain for much longer.” I then twisted the knife, pulled it out and jabbed it in her again, this time aiming for the heart. When I saw the light leave her eyes, her skin turn from a sickly pale colour to a dead, icy white colour and when she choked her last breath.

I knew my journey had ended. Life would never be the same and I now realised that. The knife I still held, still placed in her chest, which I would continue to pull out. The feeling of remorse and a sick, twisted, adrenaline complete pleasure inside of my now still heart was all I needed, to prove that I’d lost all sense in humanity.

I was no longer a human; I was more beast that anything. I deserved death, yet I continued on to live, right up until now and maybe even further on in existence.

Although, I wouldn’t call it living, I’d call it waiting. Waiting, till I finally return to that hell I visited, moments after I’d realised what I’d actually done. I closed my eyes, throwing the knife to the ground without hesitation, without noticing, to be honest and wrapped my hands around my head.

I pulled myself into a cross-legged sitting position and let my head; still my hands wrapped around tightly and controlled by a mixture of unnatural, dark feelings, collapse onto my folded legs. I sat there, in that uncomfortable yet now homely position, till I heard footsteps arise along the other end of the tunnel.

I picked up my knife and shoved it carelessly into my pocket and then undid my awkward, yet deserving position of unmerciful rest. I pulled my dead, limp feet from the floor in one quick movement, glanced at the bloody, menacing body that face me without any feeling in my eyes and ran to the other exit of the tunnel. Not turning to see the woman who’d broken my heart and belief in anyone, even myself, ever again.

I ran and ran and ran, until I was free from the screams that belonged to the woman’s voice that saw my enemy’s body, mangled and inhumane. I may have been free from the cries she let out at the torture that lied before her, I could hear mumbles of her shrieks, but that was it.

But I knew that I’d never look at my hands the same again.

They’d always be covered in blood, no matter how often I washed or cleansed them. I began believing, that I was truly cursed.”

I stared at Becky with utter disbelief, foolishly, a part of me thinking her powerful for all she did and how she fought, but the other, more genuine and wise part of me, told me not to think so coldly. When I looked over to Jess, I expected to see her wearing the same expression I did, shock, but no.

She didn’t look barely even surprised, was she used to this sort of thing, was Jessica even darker than I seemed to be, and was she evil? I didn’t know how I could question such things; of course she isn’t evil, I’d tell myself. How could she be? She’d Jessica Marie White and I respect her, there must be a reason why I respect her so much, right? No, her eyes weren’t filled with shock, or even mild confusion or curiosity; instead, her eyes seemed to understand.

Like she understood Becky’s story, almost as if she’d heard many alike it before. This made me suspect her, but I told myself not to go too overboard and be hasty about it. I’d let it float in the water, but if I didn’t see any signs of reaching it, I’d dig it out myself. One way or another, I desired to find out more about her, she intrigued me, which didn’t scare or threaten me, but it didn’t make me feel normal, either. Something made me feel different changed somehow, when I was around her and I couldn’t quite put my finger on it.

We left Becky Harrow, never returning, as it was obvious she’d never recover from what she did and neither Jess nor I had the time to prosecute her for her crime of revenge and violence towards a person we may never know. There isn’t any helping some people, I know that, as for a stage of my life, I felt I was impossible to help or change, but sense and wise feelings and actions come with age, I suppose.

No, with Becky, it was certain to both of us that she’d never kill again, as when you have blood on your hands, you tend to spend a lifetime trying to wash it off. But it never does wash away like you wish it do and even if it did, you’d still have the image of it tattooed to your mind at all times. Which I’m sure would keep her from making the same foolish mistake twice, although, I understood her reasoning. Angst, jealousy and revenge can lead to sick, twisted and worst of all, bitter outcomes. I know all about that. So we then went back to roaming the streets, Jessica testing me on my newly found skills, which I must admit was quite interesting…