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Camp Kill Yourself: Reloaded

And so it begins

“Kassandra, you are not wasting the summer at that death trap. It’s an accident waiting to happen!” My mom semi yelled trying to keep her temper.

“Mom” I said sternly. “I am seventeen a few months short of eighteen. Either way I am going.” I said standing up from my current position.

My mom and I have been arguing about me going to camp for the past two weeks. Usually parents accept their kids going to camp but, this is no ordinary camp. It’s Jackass camp or otherwise known as Camp Kill Yourself. As the band CKY got their name from. They push your limits and test your abilities. A good candidate can take a good hit to the body and can handle the smell of puke and Dave England’s shit. That type of stuff doesn’t bug me. But when it comes down to blood I can’t handle too much of that.

But that’s beside the point.

My mom thinks that it’s a waste of time.

“Young lady! As long as you live under my roof you will follow my rules.” She snapped.

“Then maybe I’ll just move out.” I snapped back.

“No. you won’t survive out there on your own… I just wish you were more like your sister.” She said with that look that all mothers get when they’re upset.

“Oh please.” I said rolling my eyes.

“Go to your room. NOW!” She demanded pointing at the stairs.

I didn’t reply. I just went making sure to stop on every stair as I did.

Of course she would bring my sister Veronica into this. She a goody two shoes who has always been the favorite. Always got good grades, never got in trouble, teacher’s pet, nice to everyone. Well nice to everyone but me. Which is also why she’s a big part in my parents decision. When I brought camp up to my dad he was excited. That is until I went into details about it.

I flopped on my bed and started to think about what Camp Kill Yourself would be like. Sure the name of it wasn’t re-assuring but any fan of Bam Margera would know what it really stood for. Thus why my parents don’t really understand the meaning of it to me. I wondered if I could handle it. I thought I could but who knows what those Jackasses would make us do.

I remember the day I got the letter about camp vividly.

**FLASHBACK**

I was sitting on the couch watching the hangover flipped upside down eating skittles when my mom came in the front door.

“Kassi you got a letter.” She said tossing it onto my stomach. I flipped up the right way and eagerly opened my letter.
It read:

”Dear Ms. Everest,
I am pleased to inform you that you qualify for Camp Kill Yourself. Your story is amazing might I say. Never turn down a dare? That’s exactly what we need! The date camp starts is June 20th. We ask that you bring no cell phones and no computers due to the distraction they will cause. We will offer you a phone if you do so wish to call home.
We hope to see you soon.
-The Jackass crew

I screamed in delight.

“KASSI! WHATS WRONG?!” my mom yelled coming in with a worried face.

“I’m fine mom but guess what!!” I said jumping up and down.

"What?"

“LOOK!” I said shoving the letter in her direction.

I waited for her to finish reading.

“No. Absolutely not.” She said giving the letter back.

**END FLASHBACK**

That was the beginning of our two week fight.

It’s now June 19th. I realized this and jumped up in a hurry. I packed my bag full of stuff I needed. I knew my mom wouldn’t take me neither would my dad. So I decided to call my grandma. She would give me anything. I picked up my phone and dialed her number.

“Hello?” her gentle voice answered.

“Grandma? I have a favor to ask of you.” I said in a small voice.

“What is it dear?” she asked with a little concern.

I explained my situation to her. she hesitated but agreed to meet me a few blocks away. She liked the thought of camp, even if she didnt know exactly what camp I would be attending. We hung up the phone and I then decided to go out the window. I threw my bag out the window and followed it down. I went to the street we agreed to meet on.

I was there for only five minutes and saw my grandmas Prius pull up. I hopped in and greeted her. she drove off and I was in for a long drive to California where we would meet up with the Jackass crew.

The ride was agonizing. My grandma kept pestering me about the camp. But I really didn’t want to get into specifics in case she decided it wasn’t appropriate and what not.

Despite the long ride we arrived there soon enough. I saw lots of teens just standing around with their luggage looking nervous and excited.

“Is this it?” my grandma asked peering out of the window. She looked disgusted with some of the teens that were around.

“I’m almost positive.” I said also looking out the window. Only 15 people were allowed in. they chose only the best of the best to be in their camp. I counted the people and there was only 14. Which meant I was the last one to show up.

“You sure you want to do this?” my grandma asked looking me dead in the eye.

“Yes. It’ll be good for me. I promise.” I said re-assuring her.

“Well… okay hunny you be sure to call me and tell me if you need anything.” She said kissing my cheek.

“Will do grandma.” I said hugging her one last time. I was sure thankful that she did this for me. I hopped out of the car and grabbed my stuff. My grandma’s wheels squeaked as she sped off. I could tell she wasn’t liking the looks of some of the teens here. I dropped my bags and stood by a girl with the reddest hair I have ever seen.

“The names Rhian. What’s yours?” she asked in a thick British accent.

“Kassi. It’s nice to meet you Rhian.” I said sticking out for her to shake. She took it kindly.

“What a deal this is eh?” she asked watching to see if anyone was going to show up somehow.

“Fuck yes!” I yelled gaining stares from others near us. “You are you excited to meet?” I asked wanting to learn more about Rhian. She seemed interesting and I really wanted a friend so I was no longer a loner.

“Bam. He is one bloody divine beast.” She said in a fan girl sigh. “Yourself?” she asked.

“Mmm… Steve-o or Johnny.” I said smiling at how handsome I have come to find these men. I think at that time we both realized we were finally going to meet the men that have invaded our dreams on more than one occasion. That sent chills down my spine and the nerves finally hit.

Just as soon as they hit they were replaced by fear because there was a heard of bulls running our way. And in front of those bulls were the men of Jackass. Screaming and running from them like they did so in the second movie. There was screams of terror but no-one panicked too much, it was as though they thought the Jackass crew wouldn't allow the bulls to actually hit us, what dip shits I thought. I didn’t bother to stay in one place cause the bulls were not stopping. I pulled Rhian’s arm and started to run. I knew I’d come back for my stuff. If I didn’t I’d make them buy me new clothes.

We started to run and soon enough the rest of the other teens got it through their thick skulls that they were about to get trampled. I turned for a split second and saw that the jackasses were gaining on us. I kicked harder and turned down a side walk and into a house. The house was empty, must be part of the introduction. I was being gained on by a bull and thought fast, I jumped and crashed through a window.

The impact hurt like a bitch. I didn’t know how Johnny managed to do it 3 times and still wanting to go more. The glass cut into my hands and knees and the blood started to ooze out. I stood up with all my might a leaned on the railing. Before I knew it Johnny passed through the same window with a bull right after him. Luckily he got to the side where I was and barely got touched by the raging bull.

His laugh soon came after the bull was in the yard twisting and turning. I smiled a bit.

“That was brilliant! You acted like any of us would have. I like that. What’s your name?” he asked.

“Kassi. Kassi Everest.” I said smiling like a fool.

“Well hello Kassi! Welcome to Camp Kill Yourself!” he said jumping up with glee. I laughed at him.

“Ooh… looks like you got a boo boo or two.” He said noticing the cuts on my hands and knees.

“Well. They aren’t the worst I’ve ever had” I said smiling. I examined them closer and noticed they weren’t as bad as I thought them to be.

“You… have a piece of glass sticking out on your right hand. Here let me get it.” Johnny said holing my hand which like he said had a piece of glass sticking out. He grabbed a hold of it. And looked up at me. I squinted my eyes and bit my tongue.

“On the count of 7. One… two… three… FOUR!” he yelled pulling it out. I jumped it surprise.

“JOHNNY! YOU SAID SEVEN!” I yelled.

“Yea but you didn’t expect it and it didn’t hurt as bad now did it?” he said proving a point.

“Well I guess this once your right. But don’t get used to hearing that too often.” I said smiling up at him. He smiled back.

“Well should we go see what happened to the others?” he asked with a coy smile.

“Sure.”
We walked back to the rest and saw a massive group of people standing around. Jackasses and all. I saw Rhian and skipped over to her.

“You okay? That was bloody barmy (Crazy)…” She said as I was with her.

“I'm fine. I got cut up though.” I said. She looked over at me and took notice in my cuts. I then told her how Johnny come through the window as well and helped me out on my injury.

“Your bloody lucky.” She mumbled. But brightened up as she saw Bam stand in front of everyone.

“Alright dick suckers. Welcome to Camp Kill Yourself. How did you like your first task?” he asked earning boos and some hurray’s.

“You will all be separated into groups of 5. Which makes 3 groups total. Each group will have mentors. 3 to each team. But for us to get to our private camp we will need to blind-fold you guys. We can’t have you know where we are for safety reasons mainly. But now we well get into our groups then go in the limos.” He said smiling.

They had us line up. I was close to the beginning since my last name began with E. Rhian was with the B’s. we each got a car from numbers 1-5. I got number four. After we were each handed our card we had to find others with the same numbers. I fortunately had Rhian in my group. I was thankful.

We found our other group members. There was a girl named Maci. She had strawberry blonde. She was also very quiet. Then there was Kane who had black hair and blue eyes. Talked a little bit but not too much. Then there was Bianca. A girl who you could tell was pampered. She gave us all disgusted looks and always rolled her eyes. To say the least I don’t think I was going to make friends with her.

“Well hello mates.” Rhian said trying to make friends. Maci waved and Kane said “Hi” while Bianca went bitchy.

“Is that a British accent?” she snarled.

“Yea it is. You have a problem with that?” I snapped. I wasn’t scared of getting into a fight.

“Yes actually. British don’t shower. That’s disgusting. And just a warning you all better keep out of my way so I can win this thing. I'm not playing games. I'm here to win.” She said and stormed off.

Rhian continued to mutter British terms I could only imagine were not the sweetest of things. Kane got a mad look on his face and Maci just stood there astounded that someone could be that rude to a stranger.

“Alright sea birds. Time to be blind-folded.” Bam said holding up bandannas that would cover our eyes till we got there. we wouldn’t even know who our mentors were until we got there. Chris came up and tied ours on. When we were blind-folded we were put into the limo and the driver sped off.