In The Name Of

He didn’t say anything at first I almost thought that he might have hung up on me, I wouldn’t have blamed him if he did; I was being really childish and not trying to make things better between us. But then I heard a noise that sounded like him just waking up, he fell asleep with me on the phone. Sighing I took a seat on the cold metal bench, the wind blew and it sent shivers down my spine.

“Did I wake you?” I asked him softly.

“Oh no,” He said softly, I could tell that I just woke him. I laughed slightly and ran my fingers through my hair.

“I can even tell when you’re lying over the phone, how said is that?” I told him.

His laugh hit my ears and I could picture his smile, I could feel him wrap his arms around me telling me that he loved me and that everything was going to be okay. He promised me that he would protect me, make sure that nothing ever made me sad; I guess Matt could tell that something wasn’t right even over the phone because he coughed slightly getting my attention.

“Is everything alright? I didn’t expect you to call, I’ve been trying to call you for a while…you know to see if everything was okay,” He explained. I couldn’t stop the sniffle to come as I looked at the locket around my neck that held the picture of Adrianne. “Loren? Are you crying?” He asked. It sounded to me that he was moving around, maybe getting comfy again in his bunk him being on the road he needs all the sleep that he can get. But in fact matt wasn’t even getting comfy in his bunk he was getting out of his bunk and he took a seat on the couch looking out at the darkness outside.

“I would…be lying if I said I wasn’t,” I told him as I continued to sniffle. “Oh Matt…I’m so sorry. I was being so childish and by me being childish and not listening to you it cost us our relationship…it cost my daughter a real father.” This time there were no sobs coming out of my mouth this time, this time it was full fledge sobs. “And by my childish acts, it’s costing my daughter to suffer,” I cried.

Matt raised his eye brow in confusion; he didn’t know what to say. He missed Loren with all of his heart and he was happy that she was calling but he had a feeling that she wasn’t calling just to make things better, something wasn’t right at home he knew it.

“Loren what’s going on?” He asked her. I tried to calm down but images of Adrianne sick flashed in my head, she was caged in that hospital room like an animal. “LOREN!” Matt’s voice hit my ear he sounded upset in a worried way. “What it is going on?” he asked me one more time. I sighed taking deep breaths trying to calm myself enough so I could tell him what was happening; and once I was calm enough I looked up at the sky, the stars shown like diamonds in the black abyss.

“Matt…I’m scared…” I told him. “Adrianne is so sick…she’s in the hospital.” I told him softly. Matt blinked and took out his wallet where he kept the picture of Loren and Adrianne; he loved Adrianne like his own daughter and once Loren told him that she was sick it hit him hard. “She is so sick Matt she‘s been throwing up and everything, she wants you…”I told him softly. In all honesty I wanted him too. I wanted him to hold me and tell me that he was going to take care of her; I wanted to feel his arms around my waist. To feel the touch of his lips against mine, to hear his voice whisper so softly that he loves me.

“Loren…I want you to do me a favor,” he whispered.

“Anything,” I whispered back. Whispering like this made me remember when he and I were seeing one another and I had to be off the phone at a certain time and I would talk with his until I fell asleep, I always had to whisper though because my father I swear had ears like a bat.
“I want you not to worry,” He told me. “I know that you thinking how I can tell you not to worry about a thing like this but I am, Adrianne will be alright she is a strong little girl.” He told me softly. I sniffled and looked at the two metal double doors that lead back into the hospital.

“I want you here with her…” I told him honestly. “I want you to make her feel better, she cries for you Matt…” I cried once more. Matt closed his eyes and sighed, he wanted to be with Adrianne and Loren too. If he could leave the tour now he could.

“You have no idea how bad I want to be with you and Adrianne Loren, “He told me softly. I sniffled and looked at my watch; I knew that it was time for me to head in, even though I didn’t want to let him go. His voice was making me calm down; even though with all the tears running down my face you would think that I am in a fight with him or something. Matt told me that it was late and he wanted me to get some rest, he said that I needed to be strong for Rae. “Please Loren go get some sleep I will call you tomorrow we are on a break right now, so I don’t have a show maybe I can talk with Rae,” he told me.

I nodded. “Alright…Matt,” I told him. “Oh and Matt,”

“Yes?”

“I’m sorry,” I told him once again.

“It’s alright, now try and get some sleep okay?” He told me softly, it reminded me once again of us being together. We said our goodbyes and I made my way back into the hospital room were Adrianne was still fast asleep, she looked so peaceful. I love you Rae, and Daddy loves you too.