Parenthood

As a couple of days went by, the morning sickness was slowly getting better. Very slowly. The sickening feeling in my stomach was still there, only the incessant impulse to vomit had gone down enormously. Which, was good because Emma’s 6th birthday party had just ended and I had miraculously made it through the evening serving cake to a bunch of kindergarteners without having to flee the premises. A minor triumph, but a victory none the less. I glanced over to our couch where Billie was busy helping Emma put her pajamas on. She looked so cute with her pink party hat on; which she had insisted that she wear since the second she got up this morning. She had also refused to let us take it off of her. She giggled at something Billie said to her and covered her mouth with her tiny hand to try and suppress it. I grinned when he reached out to tickle her belly and press kisses all over her face, taking her giggles and turning them into a full blown laugh. It was a little past her bedtime, which had been deemed okay ‘just this once’ since her grandparents had just left. I watched as he effortlessly stood with her on his hip, ready to carry her to bed. It had been a very long day, which meant the sooner Emma went to bed, the sooner I could. I was exhausted.

“I think it’s time for the birthday girl to go to bed.” Billie said as we both made our way into Emma’s room. Her face was nuzzled into his neck, and she blinked wildly, desperate to not fall asleep at this moment. Once she was settled into her bed, I reached out and gently removed her party hat. Thankfully, she didn’t put up a fight. Billie sank down on the other side of her, cuddling her close to him. “Did you have a good birthday, munchkin?” He asked her while I made sure Leroy was tucked safely under her arm and sitting down next to her.

“Mmhmm.” She answered sleepily. “Mommy?” She questioned. I glanced up from her bed a raised an eyebrow.

“What’s up, Sunshine?” I asked. She smiled at my recent nickname for her and twiddled with Leroy’s spotted ear.

“Why is my birthday called a birthday?” She asked, catching me a little off guard. I was half expecting her to ask me for another piece of cake. Billie gave a confused look and turned his gaze back down at Emma.

“Well, because six years ago today, you were born. We celebrate it because it was such an awesome day.” I answered. Well, awesome for her at least, at the time I felt like I was going to die. Emma looked up at me in thought and smiled.

“Was I a good baby?” She asked, this time looking towards Billie as he smiled.

“You were a loud baby.” He answered while poking her nose playfully, causing her to giggle. It was true, Emma was a very loud baby that didn’t have a regular sleep schedule until she about three months old. We barely slept the whole first few months of her life. Emma snuggled down between us and looked up at us expectantly.

“Tell me about when I was a baby.” She said sweetly. I eyed her skeptically. I wasn’t so sure if this was a plot to keep her from going to bed, or if she was actually wanting to know. But, like any good mother, I caved and the memories came flooding back.

*Flashback*

“Do you think we’ll ever sleep again?” Billie mumbled to me tiredly as he cradled Emma to his chest. This was after her second feeding of the night and we both felt like zombies. Probably looked like it too. I sighed deeply as I laid my head back against the headboard.

“The real question is if we’ll ever sleep together again, because if sleeping together caused this, I don’t think we should sleep together.” I rambled. I sounded delirious in what I was saying, but quite honestly, I didn’t give a fuck. I hadn’t slept in what felt like a month.

“That almost made no sense, and yet, I still understood it.” Billie remarked as he rhythmically patted Emma’s diaper clad bottom. “I guess it’s safe to say, we’ve both lost our damn minds.” He supposed as he shut his eyes and tilted his head against the headboard. If I hadn’t been so exhausted mentally and physically, I would have found him pretty hot in this state. Emma was curled up his arms and he just looked so dad-like that it was extremely attractive to me. God, I needed to sleep. I scooted a little closer to Billie’s side and tiredly rested my head on his shoulder. He picked his head up and glanced my way, and then back down at Emma, who now had her eyes open, wide awake.

“Hi, munchkin.” Billie cooed, as he softly ran the back of his finger over her face. “You’re not going to let Daddy sleep are you?” He chuckled. Emma gurgled softly and wrapped her small hand around his finger. It was still hard to believe that just a little over a month ago, she was still inside me, making herself known with every kick, and now she’s here. Billie smiled and laced our fingers together as he leaned over to peck my cheek. I gave him a quizzical look, because we hadn’t had the time to be very affectionate the past few weeks and it was just a surprise, really.

“What was that for?” I whispered, a smile plastering my face as Billie leaned over to kiss me again, this time on the lips.

“Just because.” He answered. “It feels like years since I last kissed you, and I miss you.” He whispered, smiling softly. I felt my heart swell at his words. Even when we were on the brink of going mad from exhaustion, he could still find a moment to make my heart skip a beat.

“I love you, basketcase.” I whispered, knowing that he would understand what I meant. He winked at me as he gingerly placed Emma between us, who had since fallen asleep during our small love fest. We snuggled up against her, my hand immediately going to her small belly, his still bound to her tiny hand. I had never felt such love.

*End Flashback*

Emma was sound asleep when I glanced down just as the story finished. I smiled and tucked her blanket just a little tighter around her before looking towards Billie, who was running his fingers through her hair, smiling the entire time. I could tell that it was hitting him too, that our baby wasn’t a baby anymore. I leaned down and pressed a kiss to her head before quietly getting off of her bed. Billie soon followed suit and wrapped his arms around my waist, making sure that his hands were on my stomach as we watched our baby girl sleep. It was a little bittersweet. She was no longer the baby, I was telling her about and it saddened me a little. Billie kissed below my ear and whispered, “I want to tell her soon.” I nodded my head. After talking about babies and remembering how much I loved being a mom, I was excited to tell her that we were going to have another baby. I missed having a baby in the house, despite the sleepless nights. As we started to walk out, I flipped her light off and closed the door quietly. Billie surprised me by kissing me as I turned around, catching me completely off guard.

“I love you so much, Jules.” He whispered, wrapping me in a hug. I was succumbed into his embrace immediately and sighed contently, breathing in his scent that I had memorized.

“Hardly. You could never love me as much as I love you.” I said as we finally got into our room.I made a beeline or the bed and Billie, oh so gracefully laid down beside me, keeping our hands intertwined.

“You, Julia Renee Armstrong are full of shit. You could never love me as much as I love you.” He challenged. I smirked and curled into him, kissing him softly. “You are my one and only.” He added.

“As are you.” I whispered as I trailed my hand down his stomach, knowing exactly where my destination was. His eyes widened as I had successfully tugged his zipper down.

“Last time I checked, it’s not my birthday.” He choked out as my hand slipped into his underwear. I smirked and kissed him hard.

“Who said it had to be?” I cooed before making his eyes roll back in his head.