Parenthood

Emma made a full recovery from her busted lip. She was still complaining about it from time to time, but she normally was just wanting another Popsicle. Emma was normally a well behaved little girl, but on this particular morning she decided that wasn't going to happen. She had asked Billie and I if she could get a 'real' Leroy, and Billie and I had discussed it and decided that we might get her one for Christmas. That apparently wasn't the answer Emma was looking for because for the rest of the day she was for lack of a better word, a complete brat. She disobeyed anything I told her and I had already had to put her time out. I was used to her disobeying me, but when she disobeys her father it comes as a shock. After Emma had been let out of time out for the second time, she came into the living room with her favorite barbie doll. She had decided that it would be fun to throw it up in the air as high as she could. It hit the ceiling a few times, and once nearly hit the ceiling fan.

“Emma!” Billie scolded. She turned to look at him “No more throwing your barbie in the air.” He warned.

Emma just stood there looking at her barbie doll. Billie turned back to face me. I was busy washing the dishes from breakfast and out of the corner of my eye I saw her throw the barbie high in the air. This time it did hit the ceiling fan and sailed across the room, hitting Billie directly in back of his head. The look on his face was not a pretty one. Emma rushed over and picked up her barbie before Billie could. He snapped his finger and held out his hand.

“Give it to me.” He demanded. Emma put it behind her back and backed away.

“No, Daddy! I promise I won't throw it anymore.” She whined.Billie shook his head.

“Now, Emma Rose.” He asserted. Emma threw it down at Billie's feet.

“Hey!” He snapped. Emma crossed her arms. Billie crouched down and leaned forward to where their noses were touching. “You better lose the attitude, little girl.” He warned. Emma stomped her foot.

“No!” She yelled back.Billie raised his eyebrows.

“Keep it up and I'll take all of your barbies away.” He threatened. This wasn't an empty threat, Billie meant what he said, so when Emma kicked him in the shin, I knew it was downhill from here.

Billie wordlessly stood up and walked into Emma's room. Emma ran after him.

“No! Daddy, no!” She yelled as he walked out of her room with her pink barbie box. He sat it on the counter and pointed towards her room.

“Get in your room.” He commanded. Emma shook her head. Billie walked towards her and physically put her in her room. “Stay in here until I say so.” He said sternly. Emma growled.

“I hate you, Daddy!” She yelled as she slammed her door shut. I gasped and stood there in disbelief. Emma did not just tell her daddy that she hates him, no, it's not possible...I must have heard wrong. Billie stood silently in front of her door. He blinked a couple of times and when he finally turned around I saw a tear rolling down his cheek. It was heart wrenching.

“Billie, she didn't mean-” Billie moved away from her door and walked towards the front.

“I'm going for a walk.” He whispered as he went out the door. I was shocked. Emma has never acted this way to Billie, ever. It takes a lot to make Billie cry, but those three words coming from his little girl killed him. Emma just shattered Billie's heart, and it was up to Mommy to fix it.

~***~

I walked into her bedroom to find her playing with Leroy on the floor. I closed the door behind me and pointed towards her bed. “Sit.” I said sternly. This time she obeyed and went to sit on her bed. I could tell it in her eyes, she already knew what she said was wrong. I put my hands on my hips and glared at her.

“What you said to Daddy was very mean, Emma.” I scolded. Emma looked down at Leroy.

“He was mean.” She answered. I shook my head.

“No, Daddy told you to do something and you disobeyed him.” I explained. Emma shrugged. Obviously I was going to have to take the 'make her feel guilty' route. I crouched down in front of her and made her look at me. “You really hurt Daddy's feelings, Emma.” I said softly. Emma stared at me. “You made him cry.” I added.Emma looked down at Leroy.

“I made Daddy cry?” She asked. I nodded.

“Daddy's very sad.” I told her. I knew Emma really felt bad about what she said now that she knows how much it hurt Billie. I put my hand on her knee.“You don't really hate your Daddy, do you?” I asked. Emma shook her head.

“No, I love Daddy.” She answered. I nodded.

“Well, if you love Daddy, why would say that to him?” I questioned. Emma shrugged and I saw a couple of tears fall off her cheeks.

“I don't want Daddy to cry.” She whimpered. Emma really felt bad now, which is what was intended. She needed to know that it's not okay to say things like that to people, especially her father. I wiped her tears away with my thumb.

“You need to tell Daddy you’re sorry.” I explained. Emma sniffled and nodded.

“I love Daddy, Mommy.” She whimpered. I stood up and moved the hair out of her eyes.

“I know you do, Emma. Mommy wants you to stay in here for a while, okay?” She nodded and I walked out of her room and closed the door. Billie was back and sitting on the couch when I walked in the living room. He wasn't crying anymore, but he looked so hurt it made me want to cry, too. I walked towards him and sat down on his lap and wrapped my arms around his neck. I leaned over and kissed his head. “She didn't mean it, baby.” I whispered. Billie nodded.

“I know.” He whispered back. I ran my hand through his hair.

“Are you okay?” I asked. Billie nodded.

“She doesn't hate you, Billie. She never could, it was just a tantrum.” I said while I kissed him again. Billie wrapped his arms around me.

“It hurt so bad, Jules.” He whispered. I bit my lip.

“I know, baby.” I replied. Billie hugged me tight.

“You're a good Dad.” I whispered.Billie laid his head on my chest.

“I don't know what I'd do without you, Jules.” He whispered. I kissed his head again. I hated seeing my love hurt so bad. Emma really did a number on this one.

~***~

Thirty minutes later I went to go check on Emma. She was sitting where I left her and had stopped crying. “Emma, are you ready to apologize to Daddy?” I asked. She nodded and hugged my legs.

“I'm sorry, Mommy.” She mumbled. I bent down and picked her up.

“I know you are but I'm not the one you need to be saying sorry to.” I said as I opened her door.

Billie was standing in the kitchen when I walked into the living room and sat her down. She looked towards Billie and then back at me. I pointed towards the kitchen. “Go.” I mouthed. Emma walked quietly over to Billie and tugged on his pant leg. Billie turned around and looked down at her.

“Hi, Daddy.” She said hesitantly.Billie leaned against the counter.

“Hi, Emma.” He answered. Emma looked down at the floor.

“I'm, I'm sorry, Daddy.” She stuttered. Billie crossed his arms.

“What are you sorry for?” He questioned. Emma rubbed her eye.

“For saying that mean thing to you.” She answered. “Don't cry anymore, Daddy.” She begged. Billie looked at me and then back at Emma.

“You really hurt Daddy's feelings.” He whispered. Emma hugged his leg.

“I sorry, Daddy.” She repeated. Billie reached down and patted her head.

“I know you are, and Daddy wasn't punishing you to be mean, Emma. I was doing it because I love you.” He explained while lifting her up and sitting her on the counter. Emma nodded.

“I love my Daddy.” She said as she hugged his arm. Billie lifted her up and held her.

“And I love my Emma.” He whispered. Emma leaned forward and kissed him on the mouth. There's the old Emma creeping back in. I thought to myself.

“Daddy not sad anymore?” She questioned. Billie shook his head.

“Daddy's okay.” He answered. Emma rubbed her hand on the back of his head.

“Sorry for hitting you with my barbie.” She said. I smiled, I didn't even have to tell her to apologize for that. Billie smiled.

“It's okay, Daddy has a hard head.” He whispered. Emma giggled. I grinned as I watched them. Days like these are what make being a parent hard, but it's moments like this one that make it worth it.